Dead Man Walking

Chapter 7 - Virus

Lister and Rimmer made it to the cockpit in record time. His current predicament forgotten, Lister bounced up and down in a vain attempt to look out of the window, his view obscured by Rimmer's toilet-brush haircut and Kryten's head of considerable dimensions.

"Hey! Lemme see!"

"Shut up Lister!"

Rimmer wafted him with one hand.

"Kryten, can you make contact?"

"I'm trying Sir, but it is a good distance away, and Holly is not responding. Perhaps the signal is too weak."

Lister edged forward nervously.

"Since when have we had signal trouble at this distance? I think something's wrong."

Cat nodded agreement.

"Yeah Bud - my nose is gettin' something, and it doesn't smell good. We are in more trouble than a tramp with an expired dry-clean token!"

"How can you possibly say that!" Rimmer rounded on cat with a look of scorn, but his forehead was pale and creased with worry.

"Look, my nose does NOT lie, and I'm telling' you Holly can't contact us for a reason - a very bad reason. We should just get outta here."

"No way."

Lister addressed Kryten in the hope that he could reason with him.

"Kryten, can you boost the signal a bit? We are getting closer all the time so it'll get better, right?"

"I'll do my best sir."

Kryten tapped feverishly, but it mustn't have worked because he gave a huge mechanical sigh and slowed down after only a few seconds.

"Come on Kryten!"

"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can - "

"Look!"

Rimmer interrupted everyone by rushing to the view screen, tripping over a chair in the process. Just before his nose hit the floor, his flailing hand caught and tapped a corner of the screen, where a small light at the rear of the Dwarf flashed gently.

"What's that?"

Kryten resumed tapping, and tried to analyse the flashes that originated from the cargo area of the ship.

"It's a pattern; a visual representation of machine code. It must be Holly."

Kryten did not look happy at this news. A fact that Lister noticed immediately.

"What's wrong, Kryters?"

"He is repeating only one word - "Danger."

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The decision was almost unanimous - they were going in. Cat of course needed to be reassured of the minimal danger to his clothes, and for a change Rimmer and Lister agreed on something - Red Dwarf meant more power, and a better chance for their survival. Kryten thought they were being very rash, but considered the dusting to be done aboard the massive vessel and promised to help them all he could.

Scans of the ship produced no life signs, but they were able to determine that much of Holly's circuitry had been removed, and the rest stored in the cargo decks. This explained the origin of his warning. Only one question remained - who or what was controlling Red Dwarf?

The short amount of time they needed to prepare only emphasised their limited options. They decided that it would be safest to board Red Dwarf where Holly's presence was strongest - the cargo levels and the rear of the ship. The only problem with this was that there were no docks at cargo level and as far as they knew Holly wouldn't be able to operate them if they were. Their only option was to force their way in somewhere and try to find Holly. Then they could work out a better plan.

Rimmer gave bazookoids to Cat, Kryten and himself. They wouldn't be much use in combat situations but they were ideal for cutting through the ship. He hand stretched out to give one to Lister, but remembered just in time. Lister would have to sit this one out. He looked up from his embarrassingly twitching fingers to see Lister looking at him with a sad smile.

"I'm comin' in with you."

"No you are not, Lister!" Rimmer, said, horrified. "As your superior technician it is my job to -"

"Smeg off, Rimmer!"

Lister gave him the finger, then walked over to Rimmer and got in his face. Far too close. Rimmer's personal-space bubble was non-existent. He flinched.

"You see that over there?"

Lister jabbed his finger to the view screen where Red Dwarf was still in view.

"That is my HOME, Rimmer. I'm coming with you. Someone has to make sure you guys don't screw up, right?"

His tone didn't allow for any arguments, but his odd half-grin told Rimmer he was trying to put on a brave face. He thought about it for a second or two, the information bouncing around his frayed nerves and he decided that allowing Lister to come wouldn't make a bit of difference in a physical sense, but in every other way they needed him. They all looked to Lister to help them, even Rimmer himself. Deep down he knew that he was useless at strategy, and he knew how helpless someone felt as soft light. Lister needed to be needed. Another flash of inspiration occurred to Rimmer and his brain was beginning to get tired, but he held on to it. It wouldn't be a good idea for Rimmer to acknowledge or take pleasure in Lister's weakness. He would want to be treated just the same as everyone else. He forced himself to pretend he hadn't had a huge social insight and put on his best petulant tone.

"Well stop whining and hurry up then! We only have one shot at getting onto the hull!"

He stomped out of the cockpit, and Lister his face set, took one last look at their flight path and said under his breath:

"God, it's goin' to be close."

Then he quietly left, sealing the door behind him. There was no turning back now.

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They made it. Just.

Starbug passed very close to Red Dwarf's hull, and the crew shimmied along a line to the ship. Kryten literally dragged Lister by his light bee, an experience the new hologram found to be extraordinarily similar to being lassoed by a drunken cowboy halfway down the drop of a roller coaster. For a second he was distracted by the musing that he was one of the very few people in the world able to verify such a comparison, and then his feet touched something solid. They were there. He looked down.

"Kryten, my feet are see-through!"

"Um, yes Sir. Until we are able to access the hologram suite on Red Dwarf, the distance from Starbug's hologram generator and your light bee means that the signal is even weaker than usual. Mr Rimmer will have to revert to soft light soon unless we can find a power source to recharge the hard light drive.

"Then let's get on with it." Lister said, gesturing to the towering red wall in front of them. The Cat put on his golden visor with mirrored screen and began to laser through the wall. Lister crouched down as one by one they began, and eventually his silhouette was hidden in a rain of sparks.

It took them several hours, but eventually they managed to cut into the side of an airlock and open the seal. As it closed again, Cat removed his helmet and began brushing his hair, while Lister, Rimmer and Kryten tried to work out where they were.

"I think we are two floors below the cargo decks, Sir. The maintenance level. If I am correct there will be a supply cupboard and a service hatch to our right after the next junction."

"I bloody well hope so, because this ship doesn't have stairs, you know." Rimmer grouched as they began to walk, their footsteps echoing in the eerie silence. Suddenly, a speaker on the wall burst into life, and voice hissed at them:

"Intruders, you will be destroyed."

Lister lost his temper. There was only so much a guy could take in one day. He stomped over to the speaker.

"Listen pal, this is OUR ship and we want you out, pronto! Or we'll blast our way to the bridge and throw you out!"

"My dear little hologram." The voice laughed. "I don't think throwing me out is an option. You see, this ship is now and forever under the control of the Reaper virus, and soon its pitiful AI will be eliminated, allowing me to destroy you once and for all. In the meantime, let's see how you manage with a security lockdown." The speaker crackled and died.

Immediately a siren sounded, and all the doors in their corridor locked. They were still 30 yards from the supply room and now there were about 5 steel doors in the way as well.

"What the hell was that?" said Rimmer, furious at himself for crouching in the corner with his hands over his head, and even more put out by the fact that it had been Lister who had stood up for them.

"Sir, we are in big trouble." Said Kryten. "If that was indeed the Reaper virus, then quite possibly…"

"What, Kryten!?" Said Lister.

"We're doomed." sighed Rimmer, leaning against the wall and trying to drown out the siren by drumming his fingers on a pipe.

Cat raised his eyebrows and looked at Kryten, who looked at the floor. Lister walked over to him.

"Tell us Kryten."

"We're doomed, Sir."

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