A/N: School is finally over, and I can write again. I want to get this finished very soon – it was never supposed to take so long to write, nor be so long of a story in the first place!

Not knowing if Alanna would wake up again was almost as bad as not knowing if she was even alive. For a week she lay in her bed; while the healers bandaged her body and left, while we had all spent hours sitting by her side, just waiting, while Moonlight had to be drugged to prevent her from breaking out of the stable, and while Coram remained drunk for the entire week.

I was still furious with her – beyond furious. Even though I had begun to realize that perhaps I had been acting unfairly when I ordered her not to leave, and that perhaps her choice had been the best idea, never had there been a reason for her to use magic against me. Never.

I was sitting by her bed, thinking all of this, when Alanna moved ever so slightly, her eyes slowly opening.

"Never again. I won't spend another winter in the cold." She mumbled.

"You could have fooled me." I snapped, my fury instantly rising again. "If a man went by the way you act, he'd think you live to freeze!"

She glanced over at me, as if surprised I was there. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I wasn't given a choice, remember?"

No, I didn't remember her giving me a choice when she made hers.

"You had your gods-cursed cat witch me!" I cried.

Alanna sat up, and winced, but I felt no pity as I watched her struggle. "Stop it! Aren't there time when you act alone?"

"This isn't the same." I replied, still amazed that she thought an apology would make things better.

"Horse dung it isn't." she hissed, "People like us have to know when to break the rules. This was one of those times, and I was right to do it. I am sorry I hurt you. Chitral didn't leave me much of a choice."

I stood up and left without a word. 'People like us, indeed.' There was no people like us here – just a noble who could do what she wanted, regardless of how it affected us other, lesser human beings, all in order to gain power and gold. And then there was me, the commoner who might be as good as her in some ways, but would never deserve to be put before her.

I had thought better of her.

I know that I can be irrational at times; that I often hold grudges and refuse to accept that I am wrong. But as I sat in the common room that day, thinking it all over, I knew this wasn't one of those times. I had perceived her to be above the petty rank and class divisions that so often held the upper class, and I'd thought she considered everyone equal. After all, she had thrown aside the long-held opinion that women were inferior to men. She had treated me and everyone else with respect and care during that trip, and had never acted selfish or conceited, putting a goal that would help her more than anyone else first. She'd accepted Thayet and Buri and the children without hesitation, and done her best to help them, even though the slowed us down. In fact, her goal had been partly unselfish. And so I had thought that in Alanna I saw someone different to everyone else, someone special.

So I shared with her my thoughts, and as I'd flirted with her I'd grown to her care about her. I had wanted to know the inner Alanna better. I wanted to understand all of the worries and problems she had, all of her little fears and insecurities, and all of her weakness. And I wanted to trust her with mine. Despite the fact that she often used her magic and I hated that, I knew, deep down, that she couldn't not use such a valuable gift. And, therefore, I shared my deepest fears with her. I'd even considered telling her the why of these fears, thinking she would understand.

I'd wanted to make this relationship work, even though I feared part of her and hated another, and even though we were both too proud and temperamental to last. And in trying to do so, I'd made myself forget who she truly was and why she was here.

She was noble. She wanted the Dominion Jewel because it would give her more power and respect from the nobles she lived with. She wanted me to accompany her because I was useful and knew where I was going. Once we'd returned to Tortall, my usefulness would have been over. And, I supposed, she'd just decided to let me realize that early. The fact that I had honestly been concerned about her, that I had worried myself to death, and that she had hurt me beyond measure meant nothing to the famous Alanna of Trebond.

I suppose I had always known our relationship would never last once we returned to Tortall. She had a prince waiting for her there, if the rumors were true, and who could chose a commoner over Prince Jonathan? I had been a fool.

It was late by the time I had thought everything through. I thought I had organized my thoughts – and she appeared, sitting down in front of me as if nothing had ever happened.

"Go away, Lady Alanna." I snapped, trying to hurt her, yet wondering if perhaps I was being petty.

I could see by her face that my words had stung. "What's wrong with you? Are you offended because I didn't take your manly advice? D'you think I did something you couldn't have? Is your pride hurt?"

How could she think that? Perhaps that was what she would have felt if our positions were switched, but I would never act the same.

I leaned forward and turned her chin around, aware of close we were, aware of the fact that I was touching her again.

"Put yourself in my place." I whispered, "I sat here wondering if you'd live, while all around me folk talked about those who died of the cold. Moonlight tried to break down the stable door. Coram – I never want to see a man that drunk again. Thayet and Buri were fine. Why shouldn't they be? You witched them, just like you witched me."

I desperately wanted her to understand. She sat back, watching me, her eyes blank. I couldn't tell if she realized why she had lost my trust and how she had wounded me.

"Are we finished then?" she said, her voice soft. I looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

"I don't know, kitten," was all I could say, incapable of denying it, but not wanting to admit it either.

"I am sorry. I know it doesn't do any good, but I am. If you'd awakened, you'd have stopped me."

So there is was. Awareness of what she had done, remorse ruining our relationship by doing it, but no regret for making that choice.

"Seems there's nothing we can do, right? I can't help the way I feel. Not about the Gift. And you can't help but use it, nor should you. A tool is meant to be used." I sighed, "I'm sorry too."

"Can we be friends still?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"I promise it." I replied, glad she hadn't tried to cling. That would have weakened my resolve. But no, she wouldn't do that. She had her pride. And she understood, in her own way.

As I watched her leave, I felt worse than before. I had loved her – perhaps still did. But I loved the Alanna I wanted her to be, the Alanna she could never totally be. Perhaps I had judged her too leniently in the past few months, but after that conversation I began to think I had judged her too harshly just now.

I had meant everything I'd said to her, but now I didn't know what to think. I was confused, neither relieved nor upset. After all, we had been far too different, yet far too similar, and that was a relationship that would never have worked, even if we both had been willing to try a little harder.

It was only two days later that we set out, heading towards Tortall. News traveled fast in that part of the country, and everywhere we stopped, someone had heard of Alanna's daring defeat of Chitral and her possession of the Dominion Jewel, until I began to grow sick of staying at inns where the entire building wanted to meet the famous Alanna the Lioness.

I wondered if all this attention bothered Alanna, or if she was reveling in it. After all, wasn't that why she had captured the Jewel in the first place? She never complained, and it wasn't until the rest of us decided we'd rather be camping again that she agreed to do so.

Yet no one else found Alanna's behavior out of the ordinary. Neither Coram, nor Buri, nor Thayet thought her actions at Chitral had been wrong in anyway, or thought that she was selfish and arrogant. They all seemed to act as if nothing had ever happened.

I wondered if I was simply holding a grudge. She'd ignored my advice, which I resented, but surely that wasn't all that bothered me. She was still being perfectly nice to me, not ignoring me as I thought she would have when I'd finished being of use to her. And, after all, I was the one that had ended whatever kind of relationship we had had.

Once in Port Udayapur, plans were made to travel back to Tortall. I found myself following them, as if returning with them all was not a question. And for me, it wasn't really.

Especially after the news arrived.

I had gone to inquire if we could obtain passage back to Tortall on a Tortallan courier ship that had just arrived, and when I returned to the inn, everyone had gathered in Alanna's room.

"Liam." Alanna looked up when I entered the room, her face blank. "Here you are. This is Sir Raoul of Goldenlake, an old friend. He was sent to escort us back to Tortall."

I glanced at the big knight who sat calmly in the corner, and then back at Alanna. I hadn't known that her safety meant so much to King Roald. It was then, as I glanced around the room, that I realized how solemn everyone looked.

"What's the other news?" I asked calmly, sitting down.

Alanna traded a look with Raoul, who sighed. "Queen Lianne died in March, and His Majesty never recovered. He also died in April."

"I see." I murmured, still unable to see how this was so upsetting. Surely now that Alanna's friend, and lover, Prince Jonathan, was King, things would be far easier for her. No disapproving King, no enemy Duke, and the possibility of being Queen.

"There's more." Thayet interrupted, seeing my face. With a glance at Alanna, as if she was scared to mention this in front of her, she continued. "Surely you've heard of Duke Roger of Conte, the man Alanna killed?"

"Of course." I replied, wondering where this was going. Roger was dead, thank the Goddess. I had no reason to fear him anymore, and Alanna certainly didn't.

"My brother Thom – he's a powerful sorcerer – and a bit arrogant as well." Alanna voice was hoarse, and I felt myself shiver. I knew what was going to come next.

"Powerful and arrogant enough to bring Roger back to life?" I asked softly. Alanna could only nod.

I'd thought destroying him was too good to be true.

But I didn't even know bringing someone back from the dead was possible. I shuddered to think of the magic required to do that.

I could tell Alanna was worried. Her own twin had brought her worst enemy back to life, and without her presence at court, Roger could convince even her strongest supporters that he had been innocent and Alanna simply jealous of his influence with Jonathan - besides the fact that he was probably trying to take the throne again.

"Thom introduced him to the court in February." Raoul interrupted my thoughts, "King Roald gave all his titles and land back, without a thought about Roger's previous plans to claim the throne. Of course, his magic didn't return with him, so he is less of a threat..."

I didn't doubt that Roger without magic was just as dangerous as he had been before.

Within hours we were aboard the ship and ready to leave; Alanna was even more eager to return to Corus now after learning of this new development, and we all followed her. Throughout the entire voyage Alanna said little, her face set grimly. I wondered how she really felt about it all, if she was scared, if she felt betrayed by her own brother, or if she too had realized that bringing someone back to life was so impossible, there had to be deeper magic at work here. I realized afterwards that perhaps I should have tried to talk to her about it, that perhaps we could have prevented what would happen later. But at the time, though we were on friendly terms we were hardly ready to open up to each other again. I'd never totally forgiven her for what she had done, and she was unsure how to behave around me.

It was early morning when the ship arrived in Port Caynn. I stood on the deck, watching the sunrise, and thinking about the other times I'd made the similar journeys to Tortall. Thought I'd frequently had reason to pass through the country, Corus was a city I'd tried to stay as far away from as possible, while knowing that there was where my destiny lay. In Corus lived my worst enemy for most of his life, though he was known to travel at random, and with him lay all the terror and hatred I had.

Shang Dragon I may be, but even I couldn't face up to my darkest fear. For even worse than the magic that had ruined my life and created the horror that refused to leave, was my terror of the man himself. I'd wanted to make him pay for what he had done. But more importantly, I wanted to know why he had done it.

I'd spent years searching for him, while trying to convince myself that I had no intention of doing any such thing. And when I finally found him, I'd wished I hadn't. Duke Roger of Conte, then the king's nephew, now heir to the throne was the one. I'd seen him since then, on my various travels, and though they were simply glimpses from afar, I knew it was him, and I knew what he was capable of. And instead of trying to do something about it, I avoided him and anything that made me remember that day. I even forced myself to avoid discovering why he had killed my family.

And now I knew, for all the good it did me.

I'd never confronted him, or made him pay for what he had done. But I'd always known that day would come. I'd been relieved when I heard of his defeat by Alanna. I'd thought was the end of it all.

But now I knew that soon enough I'd had to do my duty to destroy him, like he had destroyed me. And that day was approaching far too quickly.

For all my melodramatic thoughts and worried, I felt no trepidation as we rode from Port Caynn to Corus. Relaxing at an inn Raoul and Alanna recommended, I had not a care in the world, sitting outside in the courtyard, not even when a stranger arrived midday.

All was peacefully silent as he entered the courtyard and jumped off his horse. And then a shout of "George!" pierced the air. I glanced around to see Alanna running towards the man, before he picked her up and spun her around, laughing, before kissing her.

I knew it wasn't Prince – or, rather, King – Jonathan. Who could this arrival be? It was only when he turned I saw his face that I realized who this had to be – George Cooper, King of the Tortallan Thieves. He glanced over in my direction, grinning.

"Now your Dragon can kill me – I'll die happy." He announced.

"You know about Liam?" Alanna asked, obviously surprised. I smiled, rising to my feet.

"Have you counted her fingers yet, Cooper?" I strolled over, ignoring how I felt to see Alanna in the arms of someone else.

"I never thought you wouldn't take care of her." His grin widened.

Introductions finished, George joined us on the ride to Corus, lightening the previously dark mood with his easy-good behavior. The rest of the hard went by so fast I was surprised when we rode through the City Gate.

I was even more surprised to see who waited for us there – a company of Bazhir, all of whom bowed to Alanna, before riding around us, as if guarding us. They escorted us to House Olau, where Alanna's adopted father lived, and where, everyone insisted, Thayet, Buri and I were to stay for the time being.

In all honestly, I was glad to be there. There was a lot I needed to know about the situation in Corus, and I assumed Myles of Olau would know everything there was to know. And I was right. Gathered in the library, the discussion gradually changed from focusing on our trip to current events. Thought these too were glossed over, I could tell there was a lot going on, and I lot to worry about.

Night came, and we all began to feel the affects of traveling for so long. Even Alanna fell asleep in her chair, and I was forced to carry her to bed. Gently laying her down, I kissed her forehead, assuming she was fast asleep.

"Sleep well, Lioness." I whispered.

I have a feeling you're going to need all your strength very soon.

A/N: This chapter was very different to the previous ones. I tried not to dwell so much on what was going on and what the book said, but more on what I believe was going on with Liam at that time. Perhaps I dwelt a bit too much on Liam and Alanna at the beginning, but I'm not sure if I've ever justice to their relationship before – it was extremely complicated, just as Liam's feeling for Alanna are extremely complicated.

I always wanted to make this story not just about Liam, but also about Alanna, and I hope I managed to go a little deeper into their characters here. I also wanted to make Liam a little more human, and therefore vulnerable to all sorts of feelings, as shown here. And I know it may appear in parts as if Liam doesn't like Alanna anymore at all, but that just part of how complicated the two of them are.

I'm actually quite proud of this chapter, though I'm not of the dialogues that I made up. And by doing this chapter, I'm going to have a lot to cram into the next (and last, except for the epilogue) one. Or perhaps I will have to make what once I short story even longer, yet again.

Please review and tell me what you think!