Author's Note: Well, whatdaya know. I get really inspired for this fic, and for the first time ever I don't lose the document, squashing the inspiration [face_laugh] I like that. I like it a lot. Of course, one would think with me being inspired and all I could update a little quicker, no? :p I'm trying, I really am. I was working on a short story and The Fallout, and I put this off as usual. The bright side--The Fallout is exactly 7 chapters from completion (which basically means this will be my only WIP fic, so I'll have no excuse for putting it off)! The wonders of detailed chapter-by-chapter summaries. Thanks everyone for sticking with me. I know I don't exactly deliver as much as I should. The promised Journey dance is either 2 or 3 chapters away (including this one, it all depends on how long the next one turns out). Another example of chapter-by-chapter summaries. Trust me, it goes smoother when you have one! I may have mentioned I should never have started giving chapter titles. I apologize for their lameness. I am so not cut out for this.

starbright: Thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked the Journey :D

theblondeone07: You get your wish very soon! More Journey and S&C...it starts next chapter, which is up at the same time as this one, because I refused to give you guys this little blurb after such a long wait. That would have just been wrong. Thanks for reading!

light*hope: Everyone on JourneyIntoTheLoveNest mentioned wanting to pulverize the cell phone. Can't blame them or you one bit :p You are "that good" and more so! Courtney dance...I believe that would chapter 16...so it's not far off at all! I'm as excited about it as you, I've had it planned from about chapter 3, lol

Samara: Thanks1 You know, I always think my fluffiness is lame. It's good to know people like it!

tydavislover: Hey stranger! Good to see you around again. I love the movie. I need to watch it again too...thanks for reminding me!

GHlover: So glad you like, and I emailed ya. Put my email up in the profile too in case anyone needs to reach me :) Thanks so much for reading!

Reflection

Chapter Thirteen ~ Irreplaceable

When Courtney got back to Kelly's both her father and brother were gone, and she couldn't help feeling relieved. Her talk with Jason had helped, more than she was willing to admit, but she still wasn't sure she was ready to face them. She had so much anger and resentment toward her father built up inside, and apparently Sonny did, too. Even if she could handle her own, she wasn't sure she could take Mike and Sonny fighting.

Courtney slowly approached the counter. She heard someone moving around in the kitchen. She could only hope it wasn't Elizabeth. It turned out it was Bobbie.

"Hey," Bobbie greeted her. "Elizabeth tells me you ran out earlier."

Realizing she was still wearing her apron, Courtney removed it from her waist and rolled it up. She passed it over the counter, letting out a breath. How much had Elizabeth told Bobbie? How bias was the version of the story she'd delivered? "I did, and I am so sorry, Bobbie. You have been so generous to me, and how do I repay you? I run out in the middle of my shift in front of a bunch of customers."

Bobbie put the apron under the counter with the other and then reached out, taking Courtney's hands. "Oh, honey. We all have our moments. You can't be strong all the time. You're going through a lot. You weren't ready to be in the same room with Sonny and Mike, were you?"

Courtney glanced up, startled. "How do you know about that?"

"Carly's my daughter," Bobbie reminded her. "She tells me things. She told me about you."

"I'm not going to make it a habit, running out on people. I swear." She held her breath, hoping Bobbie would believe her, hoping Bobbie would give her a second chance.

Bobbie smiled. "I know you won't."

A comfortable silence fell between them. Bobbie got back to work, brushing crumbs from the counter into her hand with a damp rag. Courtney stood there, overwhelmed. Never had she been so easily accepted before as she had been in Port Charles. It seemed everyone wanted to get to know her, from her new family to Emily Quartermaine. And Jason and Bobbie were so nice to her, so understanding. So they say that if something seems too good to be true, it is. Courtney had believed that her entire life. This new town, these new people were changing her mind about that and so many other things.

Courtney reached out and gently stilled the hand that was scrubbing the counter. "Why don't you let me do that? You must be tired, working at the hospital all day and coming back here at night."

"I don't want you to feel guilty about earlier."

"I know you don't, but I do. I want to make it up to you. I also want to help out. And it helps to be busy."

Bobbie thought about it, and then handed over the rag. "All right. If you insist." She gave up easily. Who wanted to scrub counters when they could head on home anyway?

Courtney smiled back at her. "I do."

Bobbie retreated to the coat rack, pulling her jacket off a hook. "Then I'll see you in the morning. You take care of yourself. And the last slice of chocolate pie has your name on it."

For the first time, Courtney noticed a note stuck to the glass case over the pie plate, declaring the piece was reserved for a Courtney Matthews. Bobbie had put it aside for her before she'd even come in and apologized. She was touched. "Oh, Bobbie, you didn't have to do that for me."

"Eat it. Chocolate has a way of putting things in perspective." Bobbie winked.

Courtney laughed. That it did, until you looked in the mirror and realized where you'd put the extra pounds on. But who cared? "Thanks, Bobbie. I'll lock the door behind you."

She watched from the window until Bobbie disappeared from sight, and for awhile afterwards. It was starting to snow, the tiny flakes alighting on the ivy-covered brick walls all around Kelly's. It was beautiful.

It had been snowing the day of her audition. The day her mom died. And Courtney could remember looking out the window, and thinking it was beautiful, so full of hope for the future, and so angry at her mother, as well as her father, for not being there.

Courtney roughly ran her hands through her hair. She couldn't think about that.

So she got to work. She finished scrubbing down all the tables, and washed and dried the dishes. She carefully stacked the bowls and plates on the shelf, ready for the cook to grab in the morning. She refilled the sugar dispensers and emptied the stale coffee still sitting in the coffeepots.

Finally, she pulled up a stool, lifting the glass covering off the chocolate pie. She carefully slipped the generous slice onto her plate and slid her fork into the creamy goodness. As soon as the chocolate touched her tongue, her eyes rolled into the back of her head. God, this was good.

But chocolate couldn't cure everything. Especially not loneliness. Courtney's eyes settled upon the telephone. She remembered Emily giving her her number earlier. What she wouldn't give for some completely shallow girl talk with her best friend Ashley. Emily couldn't replace Ashley, but Courtney needed to make some new friends. Some new girlfriends. Obviously, Elizabeth wasn't an option. So maybe calling Emily was the first step in starting her life over, turning a new page. Maybe she could eventually turn the page on her past and accept her dad.

Courtney lifted the receiver, but before she could dial the number, tears sprang to her eyes. She suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to call her mother.

***Flashback***

"This is the biggest, most important day of my life. You have to be there, Mom!"

***End Flashback***

Something Courtney understood now that she hadn't before was that it wasn't just the biggest, most important day of your life that you needed your mom. You needed her everyday. Why hadn't she realized that before Janine was gone?

Courtney put the receiver back down and scraped the last of the pie into the trash. She didn't want it anymore. What she wanted no one could give her. Not Bobbie, not Emily, not Ashley. No one could bring her mom back. And no one could take her place.

Not now, not ever.

~*~