Title: Turn Around
Author: AbayJ
Genre: Romance / angst / Courtney Centric / Short /Complete / Songfic
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own nothing, the song Total Eclipse of the Heart is by Bonnie Tyler.
Summery: Courtney thinks about Jason
A/N: I guess I should let you all know, that this story is really corny, lol and I don't know what made me right this, but I hope you like, even if it is corny. Tell me what you think.
Courtney walked into her office, looking that paper work that she knew she had to do, and sighed. She really didn't feel like this was what she was meant to do, and maybe she wasn't. Picking up the phone, she called Justus, it was time to see and at this time she didn't a fck who brought this, she stopped the last time when she had found out that it was being sold to Alcazar, she couldn't let that happen. Not even if she was mad at Jason and Sonny she still loved them both.
When she disconnected the phone call with Justus, she grabbed her purse. Walking around Port Charles, for land; a place to build a new future, one with the man she loved. Somehow she wound up at the loft, since the divorce she had moved out of it, and into a penthouse suite in the new Port Charles Hotel. The loft had brought so many memories that it was time to give them up, she would never have him back. It was time.
Going into the loft, everything was still the same, she still kept the loft, even though she had been meaning to sell it........but for some reason she couldn't, couldn't get rid of it just yet. Not for a while. Looking at the picture that was sitting on the table, the one with her arms around his neck, and his around her waist, both with love shining in their eyes, just a few days before their second wedding. Carly had posed them in the position after she had been saved, she had wanted a picture of them so she could show her God children. Sighing, that was a long time ago, one where God children may had been possible, Carly had said miracles happened, look at her and Morgan.
Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Feeling tears fill her eyes, she put the picture down, she ran her have over the desk, remembering when he had been working late one night and she had come over to jump on the desk right in front of him and made him forget the paper work he had said he needed to get down. They had made love on this desk, their moans the only sound in the whole room. Their breaths as fast as their movements, the screams loud as the reached the peak. Giving a sad smile, they were so in love but now it was like they were enemies.
Turning away from the desk she went and sat on the couch, had there ever been a time when they didn't sit on this couch, an afghan pulled over them, just talking about the past, about the future, about the present. About anything and everything. All their plans and hope, of their family that they wanted to have and almost every time, their talks had gone from talking to kisses to touching to love making.
Feeling the tears fall she got up, wrapping her arms around herself. Was it always going to be like this, was she always going to feel this emptiness. The hole only got bigger with time, not every time healed with time. Only aches did, not broken and shattered things. Going to the door, she looked around, but soon her attention was drawn to someone opening the door, putting up her guard she turned to face her husband........her ex husband.
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
"Courtney, what are you doing here," he asked, feeling his heart pound. He had learned a long time ago, whenever he wanted to let go of Courtney; it was best for him to stay away from her because if he didn't; he just feels his resolve fall away. The need to pull her in his arms and kiss the sadness away form her eyes. Making her smile once again.
"I could ask you the same thing," reaching up, she wiped her tears away. Pretending that seeing him didn't hurt, that she didn't feel her heart being tore into small little pieces. Backing away so he could walked fully into the loft, and close the door. She felt his eyes run up and down her body, and she felt the warm feeling she always got when he did that. That wanting sense that made her head spin.
His silence said what he couldn't say, he missed, with every thing in his heart, he missed her, but he wasn't allowed to have her. Sonny had said that she was a traitor and that she had tore their family apart and it didn't matter what he thought. He knew Courtney hadn't done what she did to heart anyone she had only did it to protect her family, not to cause pain, even if she had. She hadn't meant too, his soul and heart knew that, not matter what Sonny said, he knew that. Taking a deep breath he decided someone had to break the silence, even if silence was golden, "I should leave," reaching for the door, she stopped him, her hand on his forearm, giving her a strange look.
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
"Jason, why are we doing this to ourselves, I love you, and I know deep down you love me," she said, showing him her soul. Showing him that she still loved him, even if they were apart, even if he had thrown her heart on the floor and stepped on it, she still loved him. Moving closer to him, she looked him in the eye, seeing the pain, love, hurt, and the battle raging behind the blue orbs, she somehow always got lost in. His eyes were so deep, she always loved his eyes, always loved his smile, always loved him. Always would. She knew that, forever, he would be the only one that owned her heart, no matter who she met, who came in and out of her life, he would always own her heart.
"I can't, I promised Sonny, I cant," he started to reach for the door once again, and once again she stopped him. Getting between him and the door.
"Don't do this Jason, please don't walk away from me again," reaching up, she pulled his face in for a kiss, and she felt his resolve fall away and he pulled her body close to him.
Closing any and all the distance that was between him, and it was like it used to be. Their kiss full of passion, hope, love, and forever. Just like it should be.
"I love you Courtney, God I love you.......but Sonny, I can't turn my back on him," he said raggedly, after they pulled apart. Her breathing still hard, and her eyes, still wet with tears.
"Sonny turned his back on his family, his children, Jason don't you see that, Sonny cares about Sonny.......and Sonny alone, don't please, don't be like him. Please," pleading, her hands still fisting his shirt. Seeing his eyes, tear up, she let her own fall.
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
He pulled away from her, and she felt a sob lodge itself in the back of her throat, and he turned away from him. Letting out a sigh that was long overdue. Feeling her anger rise,
she grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face her, "Damn you, DAMN YOU TO HELL. YOU COME HERE, MAKING ME THINK THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE FOR US AND THEN YOU START SPOUTING OFF SONNY WORDS TO ME. HOW DARE YOU, HOW FCKING DARE YOU. I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE, NOW, GET OUT!" she watched him, walk to the door and give her one last look, then he was gone and she was on the floor. Her tears and sob shaking her body. All the pain that she had held back for weeks, just breaking through the gate.
She sat there for hours, letting all the tears just have their way, then she stood up. Sighing, this......this wasn't the time to fall apart, not yet at least, maybe one day should could just sit for hours and cry, but not to tonight, not today. Wiping the tears that still lingered there, she walked to the door. Tomorrow, it would be time to sell, tomorrow, she would come here, clean this place out and then sell it. Closing the door, she felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes, she was closing the door on the past, on the future, on what might have been. She was closing the journey.
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Courtney walked into the new office building she and Carly owned. Smiling, they now owned the new wedding planning firm in PC. It was a booming success, after the Quatermaine Cassadine wedding. She was happy, wasn't she? She and her best friend were a success why shouldn't she be happy. Looking at the lilac dress that was hanging for the door, it must had just gotten delivered. It was the dress, she would wear as the matron of honor of Carly and Sonny's wedding, their fourth one. Giving a little laugh, they had been divorced 3 times, and now they were getting married once again. It showed that love could over come the pain and lack of trust. The wedding was tonight, and she had come here to pick the dress up. Carly was at her new apartment, primping.
Jason was the best man, and even though, Sonny and her relationship was on the rocks, hers and Jason's was okay. They were friends, somewhat again, and she guessed that was good. It wasn't the best but it was okay. She still loved him, and on some level she knew she still loved him. But that was for a later thought, she had to get ready. Grabbing the dress, she left, going home.
She watched her best friend walked down the aisle, looking beautiful, her hair up, and the dress a perfect fit. As Carly handed Courtney her bouquet, she watched Carly become her legal sister once again. When the priest said Sonny may now kiss his bride, Courtney looked over at Jason. His eyes were wet, just like hers. This had been them one day long ago. They had said their vows to one another, had pledge their love for all time in front of their friends and now they were apart.
Letting her tears fall she hugged her best friend, before they walked back down the aisle. Then it was Jason and her turn. Linking arms they followed the bride and groom, trying to duck the rice that was being thrown. Getting into the second limo that pulled up, they looked at each other. Finally she broke the silence, "It was a beautiful ceremony."
"Yeah I guess practice makes perfect in their case," they both laughed at that, but soon they became serious.
"It makes you hope you know," she said, "that maybe forevers do happen," looking down. She pulled looked at her nail, rubbing a fake spot that had magically appeared.
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
"Yeah.......I guess it does," he leaned close and kissed her. In surprised she kissed him back, he pulled her closer until she was sitting in her lap. Then they both pulled apart, their breaths ragged. "Courtney, maybe our last forever too, like Sonny and Carly."
"I think it can Jason, all we have to do is opened the door that we closed. All we have to do is take the first step back, remember the journey never ends, never even if we take a different path, we can always find our way back. Always find the path to forever," he smiled at that, and kissed her deep again. It had been so long since she had kissed him lip with passion, since she had seen his smile. Since she had smiled.
"I love you Courtney Morgan, and I would love to have my rings back on your finger.........I mean if that is okay with you, because I know I hurt you," he said shyly and she couldn't help but kiss him. Didn't he know that she would always take him back, always love him. Always want to wear his rings again.
"Yes Jason, that is all I want," she said softly, and kissed him again. Kissing him with all the love she had in her. All the passion that she had to hold back. Their love had found the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Finally, they were taking the right steps on the journey to forever.
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart