Diclaimer: We do not own the song "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney, nor do we own Harry Potter.
A/N: Yes, we do realize that "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is not a 70's song, but it fit into the story and it was one of our random bouts of silliness.
Chapter 5
"Who?"
"T-that is none of your business!"
"I'm making it my business!"
"Why? Why are you so curious?"
"'Cuz I'm me."
"You know, its partly your fault I didn't get to ask him out. I was on my way, when the lights went out."
"It's Remus, isn't it? Isn't it?"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No, its not! Do you even think outside your group of friends, maybe I was going to ask Severus out or Theo? Did you think of that?"
He gasped and stopped dead, running her into him. "You wouldn't,"he said stunned.
"Wouldn't what?"
"Ask..."he paused, grimacing, "Snape."
"Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't," she smiled wickedly,"but I was probably on my way to ask Theo out anyway."
"Ew!" He said, walking,"Just... ew. I thought you were lusting after Remy by the way you were molesting him when the lights went out."
"I didn't mean too!" she cried indignantly.
"Yeah, yea.. that's what they always tell... nevermind."
"Maybe you, but not me! Please tell him I'm so sorry about that. It must have been awfuly embarrassing."
"That's an understatement."
"I know and I'm so incredibly sorry."
"Tell him-not me!"
"Well, I probably won't see him for a while after this, unless you enlist me for a week of servitude or something."
"May I should so you could see your secret love!"
" I do not like anyone in your little group."
"Yeah."
Tawny sighed, "Have you found the door yet?"
"No-I just found the wall. Now we've gotta go sideways. Left or right?"
" Umm... right? What makes you think that I like anyone in your clique"
"Because you won't drop it."
"What ever floats your boat. So, Sirius, how about your love life? Do you want to talk about it?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because I know you won't want to discuss it with a perfect stranger and feel the same way I did."
"I have none to speak of."
"Oh so the "Great" and "Handsome" Sirius, I've heard so much about doesn't have a love life?"
"What's the key word there Tawn?"
"What?"
"Heard."
"Heard? Key word? What are you talking about?"
"You 'heard so much about." Gossip is based off a grain of truth. A grain only though."
"All I know is you could have almost any girl in Ravenclaw if you wanted."
"And Gryffindor, and Hufflepuff..."
"Then why don't you? You know, ask someone out?"
"It's pointless."
"Why do oyu think that? What if you miss out on love?"
"Look, just forget it. You wouldn't understand," He sighed.
"But I want to understand. Please, Sirius, we're actually having a decent conversation with each other."
"What's the point of having relationships with people who only want me because of who they think I am. They know nearly nothing about me except I'm hot. I don't want to be with someone who's dating me to say they are."
"Wow! Well, how is any one supposed to get to know you if you don't open up more often? You see, I thought you were just like every other stuck up prat but now I see there is a good person hiddem under all those prattish layers."
"Ya' really know how to make me fell loved."
"Awww. Just what I was aiming for," Tawny joked, lightly hitting him in the back.
"Hmm?" He questioned.
"Oh that wasn't meant to get your attention, Sirius," She paused,"So now what? Any Questions?"
"Nope. What is this the 'Get to Know Padfoot Hour'?"
"Who? Wait, your nickname is Padfoot! That's adorable! Why?"
"I AM NOT ADORABLE! But, yes, that is my name."
"I think its adorable."
"I am hot. I am sexy. I am dropdead goregeous. I am not adorable!"
"Can it be cute?"
"NO!"
"Alright, its... I can't believe I'm going to say this... sexy. Happy, now?"
"You think I'm sexy?" He squeaked jokingly.
"Oh yes. You're the sexiest guy I know, even sexier than Rex."
"Who?"
"The singer. Long silver hair that is always tied back at the base of his neck, nicely built body, and goregeous ice blue eyes."
"Sounds like someone has a crush."
"But he's 25 years old, so..."
"...and I'm 15 so..." Sirius burst into laughter.
"Yep, so I have to aim for people a bit younger. I'll date up to a 7th year but not under a 4th year."
"Same here. Well, maybe a 4th but only if they're great."
"But you said you have no love life."
"I don't, but if the fourth year's personality was great..."
"Ahh... Any door yet? Do you even think we're still in the castle?"
"Probably not."
"Oh," she replied mournfully, "Well, do you have any questions for me? You know like a truth game?
"Umm.. do you have ten toes?"
"Yes, I do, and they are very pretty. Are you and your group... homosexual?"
"Oh yeah baby!" followed by a moment of silence, "You know I'm joking right?"
"Yes, I was just waiting for your question."
"Ummm... do you think my tractor's sexy?"
"You have a tractor? Well, of course I think it is, " She laughed," Lily is going to laugh her arse off when she hears about this."
Why do you ask such trival questions?"
"Does it really turn you on?"
"Yes," she injected,"but you didn't answer my question."
"Huh, what question?" He stopped humming 'She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy' and turned back to the conversation.
"Why do you ask such trival questions?"
"It's song lyrics."
Tawny sighed,"Are you ADHD?"
"What?"
"Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder?"
"Muggle disorder, huh? I don't think so."
"You should have known what it was. You are in Muggle Studies aren't you? I took it my thrid year."
"How-no why-do you know?"
"Lily told me you and James were in it."
"Oh. Thought you might be asking about me..."
"Why would I ask about you?"
"Because."
"Would you even care if I asked about you? What if I told you I was madly in love with you?" she asked sarcastically.
"I'd say 'Whoppie!'"He retorted.
"See you wouldn't care one bit."
"Yeah, I would," he thought.
"Not at all, young one," he said jokingly.
"So now, why would I be interested in someone who wouldn't care if I was interested?"
"Because it's the whole hard-to-get factor. It's working great for Lily with Jeames."
"That is because James is a male. Also I tend to go for the brighter type of guys!'