Chapter 21
Eep! I have no idea what happened but the formatting was waaaay off for this...but it's all fixed so hopefully it's easier to read. It's short, I know, it's just I keep finding good stopping places for these chapters...I know 2 chapters ago I said there would only be two more but now don't exactly know how long this wedding is going to be...some story lines just don't want to stay dead!
EARLY MORNING SATURDAY
The warm arms around her kind of throw Summer off for a minute, but it doesn't take her more than a couple seconds to realize that it's Tate's arms wrapped around her. Suddenly an overpowering feeling that she's being smothered crosses Summer and she pushes the blankets off of her and disentangles herself from Tate, wrapping herself in her silk robe hanging from her bedpost. No longer in the warmth of her bed Summer realizes that the air is on way to low and the house is freezing but instead of leaving the room to fix it and risk waking up Tate she walks to her window the looks out across the backyard.
"You're up," the lights from the pool holds a slight sway over Summer and Tate's arms wrapping around her pull her out of her thoughts more than his words. "Can't you sleep?"
"I...no..."
Tate gently kisses her neck, "so, come back to bed."
"Aurora, please, please, go back to sleep." Ryan sighs, walking back and forth across the nursery with her, something he had been doing for nearly half an hour now. "What do you want? You're not hungry, I tried to give you a bottle and you wouldn't take it. You don't need a diaper changed, I checked. What do you need?"
"Is everything okay Ryan?" Ryan had been so concentrated on trying to get Aurora quiet that he hadn't noticed Jimmy, Sandy, Kirsten and Seth assembled at his bedroom door.
"Yeah, she's fine. She doesn't have a fever or anything, I don't think...but maybe you should check," he suggests to Kirsten.
Kirsten nods and within seconds she's shaking head, "she's not sick, just fussy probably."
"I'm sorry, I thought maybe taking her for a walk might be a good idea," Ryan suggests.
Sandy nods, "Seth used to love to be walked outside."
"I'll try that," Ryan sighs, "anything to make her stop crying."
"Doesn't she come with like an off switch?" Seth mumbles before shuffling back to his room.
Careful to make sure that she's wrapped tightly in her blanket Ryan walks out of the room and quickly down the stairs so as not to disturb anyone in the house anymore than they already had been. And unlike the magic charm Sandy had made it sound like with Seth, walking outside didn't have any sort of immediate effect but slowly it seems to be working, until Aurora's cries are down to soft hiccups. When the light across the street comes on Ryan can't help but feel bad, he'd felt bad for waking the Cohen's but waking anyone across the street meant he was either waking up a bride or Marissa, both of which had a ton of things to do later in the morning.
Ryan immediately recognizes Marissa' figure coming towards him, "I'm sorry if she woke up." He calls softly when she's close enough to hear.
Marissa shakes her head, "I wasn't asleep. Actually, I'm glad you're up, I was working on something for Aurora and I didn't want to give it to you at the wedding."
"Marissa..."
"I know you're upset with me, but please just look at it."
Ryan nods and gesturing to the sidewalk asks, "sit with me?" And once Marissa is seated and she holds out the book to him he offers Aurora, "do you want to hold her?"
"I shouldn't," Marissa shakes her head.
"I want you to," Ryan assures before Marissa takes her out of his arms. Flipping open the photo album that's illuminated by the streetlights Ryan can't help but stare at the pictures inside. The first picture is a very pregnant Theresa sitting on the couch with her feet propped up on Ryan's lap. "How'd....how did you get these?"
Marissa looks embarrassed when she responds, "I went to Chino and I talked to Theresa's mother last Thursday. When I told her what I was doing she gave me all the pictures she had, I made copies, gave her back the originals. It figured Aurora would want to always know what her mother looked like."
"And then Saturday I said all those things to you," Ryan sighs, his guilt about that night increasing greatly.
Marissa looks down at Aurora, avoiding all eye contact with Ryan, "yeah."
"I've been wanting to apologize for that what I said that night..."
"Ryan, don't." Marissa sighs, "because that's all we ever do, is apologize to each other and nothing ever actually changes. I'm tired of the apologies Ryan."
"Marissa..."
"I'm not done," Marissa is obviously fighting back tears because when she speaks again her voice is hoarser. "I'm not just tired of the apologies, I'm tired of the need for apologies we keep hurting each other Ryan and I don't know if I can handle that anymore." Marissa stands up.
"Marissa..."
"Ryan you're going to apologize, I get that..."
"Then let me at least do it," Ryan insists and when Marissa doesn't protest he begins speaking. "I'm sorry for what I said, Theresa's mother called and we got to talking. She felt guilt for cutting Aurora out of their lives, something I have a feeling you had to do with, which made me start feeling guilty, I thought somehow I hadn't spent enough time mourning Theresa's death. I took that guilt out on you and I shouldn't have because you've been nothing but amazing to me and Aurora."
"I enjoyed doing it," Marissa confesses. "But we can't be together Ryan, it's never worked before and it's not ever going to work. You can't deny that. I've wanted it to work for so long, but you've been in Newport for over and year and I've wanted it to work for that long but...it...it just hasn't. I'm so tired of putting my heart out on the line, it's not that you're not worth it...you are...it's just I don't think we're worth it."
"Marissa..." Ryan begins but he can't say anymore, he has to process everything that Marissa has just said.
"I should go in, we have a big day tomorrow, you know. Lot of things to take care of," Marissa gently leans over and kisses Aurora on the forehead. "I'll see you at the wedding."
Ryan gently accepts Aurora back in his arms, "thanks for this," he comments as he awkwardly holds up the photo album, "I know Aurora will love it when she's older."
"Good-bye Ryan." Marissa whispers before turning, and it isn't until she is facing away from him that she lets the tears roll down her cheeks.
Eep! I have no idea what happened but the formatting was waaaay off for this...but it's all fixed so hopefully it's easier to read. It's short, I know, it's just I keep finding good stopping places for these chapters...I know 2 chapters ago I said there would only be two more but now don't exactly know how long this wedding is going to be...some story lines just don't want to stay dead!
EARLY MORNING SATURDAY
The warm arms around her kind of throw Summer off for a minute, but it doesn't take her more than a couple seconds to realize that it's Tate's arms wrapped around her. Suddenly an overpowering feeling that she's being smothered crosses Summer and she pushes the blankets off of her and disentangles herself from Tate, wrapping herself in her silk robe hanging from her bedpost. No longer in the warmth of her bed Summer realizes that the air is on way to low and the house is freezing but instead of leaving the room to fix it and risk waking up Tate she walks to her window the looks out across the backyard.
"You're up," the lights from the pool holds a slight sway over Summer and Tate's arms wrapping around her pull her out of her thoughts more than his words. "Can't you sleep?"
"I...no..."
Tate gently kisses her neck, "so, come back to bed."
"Aurora, please, please, go back to sleep." Ryan sighs, walking back and forth across the nursery with her, something he had been doing for nearly half an hour now. "What do you want? You're not hungry, I tried to give you a bottle and you wouldn't take it. You don't need a diaper changed, I checked. What do you need?"
"Is everything okay Ryan?" Ryan had been so concentrated on trying to get Aurora quiet that he hadn't noticed Jimmy, Sandy, Kirsten and Seth assembled at his bedroom door.
"Yeah, she's fine. She doesn't have a fever or anything, I don't think...but maybe you should check," he suggests to Kirsten.
Kirsten nods and within seconds she's shaking head, "she's not sick, just fussy probably."
"I'm sorry, I thought maybe taking her for a walk might be a good idea," Ryan suggests.
Sandy nods, "Seth used to love to be walked outside."
"I'll try that," Ryan sighs, "anything to make her stop crying."
"Doesn't she come with like an off switch?" Seth mumbles before shuffling back to his room.
Careful to make sure that she's wrapped tightly in her blanket Ryan walks out of the room and quickly down the stairs so as not to disturb anyone in the house anymore than they already had been. And unlike the magic charm Sandy had made it sound like with Seth, walking outside didn't have any sort of immediate effect but slowly it seems to be working, until Aurora's cries are down to soft hiccups. When the light across the street comes on Ryan can't help but feel bad, he'd felt bad for waking the Cohen's but waking anyone across the street meant he was either waking up a bride or Marissa, both of which had a ton of things to do later in the morning.
Ryan immediately recognizes Marissa' figure coming towards him, "I'm sorry if she woke up." He calls softly when she's close enough to hear.
Marissa shakes her head, "I wasn't asleep. Actually, I'm glad you're up, I was working on something for Aurora and I didn't want to give it to you at the wedding."
"Marissa..."
"I know you're upset with me, but please just look at it."
Ryan nods and gesturing to the sidewalk asks, "sit with me?" And once Marissa is seated and she holds out the book to him he offers Aurora, "do you want to hold her?"
"I shouldn't," Marissa shakes her head.
"I want you to," Ryan assures before Marissa takes her out of his arms. Flipping open the photo album that's illuminated by the streetlights Ryan can't help but stare at the pictures inside. The first picture is a very pregnant Theresa sitting on the couch with her feet propped up on Ryan's lap. "How'd....how did you get these?"
Marissa looks embarrassed when she responds, "I went to Chino and I talked to Theresa's mother last Thursday. When I told her what I was doing she gave me all the pictures she had, I made copies, gave her back the originals. It figured Aurora would want to always know what her mother looked like."
"And then Saturday I said all those things to you," Ryan sighs, his guilt about that night increasing greatly.
Marissa looks down at Aurora, avoiding all eye contact with Ryan, "yeah."
"I've been wanting to apologize for that what I said that night..."
"Ryan, don't." Marissa sighs, "because that's all we ever do, is apologize to each other and nothing ever actually changes. I'm tired of the apologies Ryan."
"Marissa..."
"I'm not done," Marissa is obviously fighting back tears because when she speaks again her voice is hoarser. "I'm not just tired of the apologies, I'm tired of the need for apologies we keep hurting each other Ryan and I don't know if I can handle that anymore." Marissa stands up.
"Marissa..."
"Ryan you're going to apologize, I get that..."
"Then let me at least do it," Ryan insists and when Marissa doesn't protest he begins speaking. "I'm sorry for what I said, Theresa's mother called and we got to talking. She felt guilt for cutting Aurora out of their lives, something I have a feeling you had to do with, which made me start feeling guilty, I thought somehow I hadn't spent enough time mourning Theresa's death. I took that guilt out on you and I shouldn't have because you've been nothing but amazing to me and Aurora."
"I enjoyed doing it," Marissa confesses. "But we can't be together Ryan, it's never worked before and it's not ever going to work. You can't deny that. I've wanted it to work for so long, but you've been in Newport for over and year and I've wanted it to work for that long but...it...it just hasn't. I'm so tired of putting my heart out on the line, it's not that you're not worth it...you are...it's just I don't think we're worth it."
"Marissa..." Ryan begins but he can't say anymore, he has to process everything that Marissa has just said.
"I should go in, we have a big day tomorrow, you know. Lot of things to take care of," Marissa gently leans over and kisses Aurora on the forehead. "I'll see you at the wedding."
Ryan gently accepts Aurora back in his arms, "thanks for this," he comments as he awkwardly holds up the photo album, "I know Aurora will love it when she's older."
"Good-bye Ryan." Marissa whispers before turning, and it isn't until she is facing away from him that she lets the tears roll down her cheeks.