Heyla again. I'm updating a lot recently. I can tell you now that the path for this story is set, I've got everything thought out, even an epilog. I'm not really in a great mood right now; I'm worried about Zan's sister, so I'm not going to waste your time today. Post and start writing out chapter 6, after appreciating my reviewers. Can't forget that.

AnimeShadow – Glad you like it. You didn't have to wait that long, huh?

Zan – Well, I gave you the chapter in ten minutes, even if it took a day to update. I hope your sister's ok, and happy birthday. I'll send off your present when I finish it. I'd give you this story, but you'll hate me when it's over.

ChrisOriented – Here's an Update. I already wear black...

Punk Rocker Yugi – One question; if he's dead, how can you kill him? And I HATE milk.

Kay – New chapter, come read.

Bar-Ohki - winces If you thought he was unsavable then, your gonna hate this. Sorry in advance. I'll try to make it, I promise.

Ok, no stupid shit today. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, no matter how many mangas I buy. This is yaoi. I have 4 cats. Suicidal thoughts are actually not present in this chapter, as it is from Kurama's point of view. I don't like this one that much. Chapter 5...

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"Goodbye, Kaasan! I'll be back late, don't wait up!" I called back to my mother. She really is a sweet woman. She managed to worm her way into my heart years ago. Now, I'm off to Yusuke's party. He didn't even tell me why he was throwing it, though that is normal for him. He probably doesn't even know himself.

"Goodbye, Shuichi! Have fun!" I hear Kaasan shout after me. A very nice woman, indeed, I should really tell her I'm not exactly her Shuichi, but why ruin her happiness? Why ruin mine, for that matter. I can't wait to get there! Yusuke said Hiei wasn't coming, but he always shows up for at least a few minutes. I can't wait to see him again! This whole day's been a blur... I'm lucky I managed to come back to my senses by the time Yusuke called; he would have been suspicious of something.

Rightly so. I'm far too happy today... He probably didn't even mean anything by the kiss. A slip or something. I'm sure he'll have a reasonable explanation.

Yeah right. If Hiei can explain his way out of a kiss, then he's a master liar. He really likes me! I don't ever remember feeling this good. I think I'm floating right now; I can't feel my feet on the ground. If I were to end up in a fight, there's no way I'd lose. Not even if I tried.

I'm approaching the temple now. That walk went fast! I need to stop grinning... I'm sure I look like a fool. Hiei would say so, too. I can't feel his ki inside. He either hasn't shown up, or he's already left. I hope it's not the second...

"Hey, Kurama! Come here!" Yusuke shouts at me as I enter the room. He looks worried. What could have happened? This is a party, for crying out loud. Everyone's supposed to be in a good mood and eating far too much junk food and drinking sake.

"Yes Yusuke?" I ask quietly when I reach him. Everyone seems to be worried about something and crowded around me. What could have happened to make them all come so close to panicking like this?

"Do you know what could be wrong with Hiei?" Of course he answers a question with a question. Blunt as ever. I feel my smile slip and disappear suddenly.

Something's wrong? With Hiei?!

"No, I haven't a clue. What happened? I saw him this morning and he was a little off, but nothing to be worried about." I don't think...

"When I called him earlier and he told me he wasn't coming he looked like shit; and when he came, all he did was talk to Kuwabara! What's worse then that, he told him he was leaving and told him to look after Yukina!!" I feel the blood drain from my face.

The only way he would trust Yukina's safety to anyone is if he's planning to...

"No!! We have to stop him!!" I shout and shoot to my feet. What would make him want to do that? What could possibly have gone wrong in the space of a day that would make him want to kill himself?? How could he think to do such a thing? Was it only yesterday, no, this morning that he kissed me and told me he couldn't answer my questions?? What happened? Did I do something? Was he trying to tell me then what he was going to do now??

"Kurama?! What are you doing?!" Yusuke put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. I could feel hot tears rolling down my face as I try to jerk away. Yusuke hold me in place and manages to make me look in his eyes. We're outside. I had run off.

"He's going to try to kill himself!!!" I yell at him. He lets me go in shock, but now I have control over my body again. I had lost myself in questioning before, now to go about this as quickly and reasonably as possible. Hiei wants to die. That's all I know. What's the point of running off into the night if I don't even know where to look? The tears have stopped pouring from my eyes and the cold, rational part of my mind that is the thief takes control.

We aren't going to figure out why he wants this until we find him. Look for clues to which way he might have went. A scent, footprints. Anything useful.

Right. I walk around the side of the temple by where the windows leading into the party room enter the outside world. I scan the ground under the windows and the trees around them quickly for any hint that he was even here. Hiei is excellent at hiding his trail, but maybe he made a mistake. He's obviously desperate.

What's that? It glints. Take it.

Obeying the Youko, I reach down and pick up something shiny from the ground at the base of my roses and feel my breath hitch.

A tear gem... No, two.

He cried. I didn't think Hiei could cry. He was here; in this tree. I look up into the branches and quickly climb until I find he scent. It's a good thing my senses are stronger then that of a human, or I would never have found it.

"Kurama!! Are you serious?!" Yusuke's below the tree now; standing in my roses. The others are standing outside the flower bed looking scared and worried. They can do nothing. I'm sure of it, though I'm not sure how.

"Unfortunately, yes. I am." I say in a monotone and sniff the air unobtrusively. He went east; away from the temple and towards the mountains. Not good; hiding up there is easy. This will take a while, and there's no time!

I jump gracefully from my perch to the next tree he touched when he fled. I start running and leaping through the tree road like only demons can, following his distinctive scent away from the others. I have to find him. This is my fault. Somehow, it has to be. I wish I knew how...

This is no time to think. Just act, baka, you'll move faster that way.

I lope across the forests, pausing momentarily now and then to make sure I haven't lost his trail. It's so hard not to think... I keep seeing him before my eyes and all that's happened since I've met him. The theft of the three treasures, my betrayal shortly after. The whole Maze Castle incident, the tournament, and his taming of the Dragon. I thought he'd died for sure then, only to see him reincarnate before my eyes and win, sparing Bui's life. I wish this time it would be so easy... He has a phenomenal way of surviving no matter the odds when others have seemingly killed him, but can he survive himself?

I come across a lake while I run. His scent is heavy here, but the trail leads elsewhere. He must have been here earlier. I continue to follow the trail mindlessly, ignoring the urge to stop and look for a reason why. The only way to know for sure is to find him, and even if I do it might be too late.

Just follow. Don't break now. If you break, he'll surly die.

I top a mountain and stop. His trail leads down into the valley, but it's fainter here. The mist is washing it away! How can I follow if I can't find the trail! It's too dark for footprint, and he travels by trees! More tears traverse my face as I reach out desperately to find his ki, even though I know I won't find it. That's a slip he'll never make, even at a time like this. He nearly always masks it.

Wait, what's that?

I blink and stop my roving awareness and call it back to where I felt a spark of power, nothing more. It's far away and nearly invisible, but it's there, where the ravine is in the center of the valley.

Hiei...

I take off down the mountain, taking the most direct route and plowing through thorn bushes and small streams. I have to get there! I can't let this happen! It's my fault he's dong this! I pull harshly to a stop at the edge of the cliff.

Down there.

I nod to myself and climb down the face as quickly as I can without killing myself. That would be pointless, to die before I ever found him; stupid too, for that matter. The tears roll onward down my face and fall into the darkness below, seeking an almost imaginary point of peace; rest well earned in the depths of the night.

When I nearly reach the bottom I let myself fall the last ten feet or so, landing badly and twisting my ankle in the process. I stand straight and close my eyes, seeking his energy signature again and hoping he hasn't hidden it again. Scents are impossible to pick up here; the mist is thick as the night itself and erases them as soon as they're made.

Northwest.

I open my eyes and trot towards where Hiei's stopped. Where he's going to...

No!

I run faster and freeze when I see him suddenly seem to appear not ten feet in front of me, holding his sword and soaked in blood.

"HIEI!!"

.

small smile What can I say, I love angst.

Hiei – I'm DEAD??!

Not yet. Who knows, I might save you. Think about it, you're my favorite. Why would I kill you?

Hiei - glares You like to torture yourself.

DO NOT!!! I just like angst, that's not torture. nods

Hiei – Hn.

rolls eyes Anyway guys, thanks for reading, please review! I love you all. Bye now. And everyone say a prayer for Zan's sister. Even if you don't believe in that stuff.