My sincerest apologies to not updating sooner. I've told you before how easily I'm distracted, and this is only one example. This time I started reading the long fanfics for Gundam Wing (only the stories with a DuoxHeero pairing) and somehow managed to get invited to an Anime Convention in Baltimore… THAT was AWESOME!!!! I can't wait till the next one I can go to!!! And I only got to go to the last day when everything was winding down! ::sigh:: It was like a perfect world there…
THANK ZAN FOR THIS CHAPTER, SHE HELPED ME UPLOAD!!!!
Hiei - ::twitches:: Freaks everywhere.
::glares:: THEY WERE NOT FREAKS!!
Hiei - ::smirks:: I meant you and your friends.
::throws a shoe at Hiei:: JACKASS!!!! YOU'RE LUCKY I TOOK YOU ALONG!!!
Hiei - ::doesn't see her throw the shoe and gets hit in the head:: X.X
Hn. ::nods:: Good. Now to appreciate my reviews:
Bar-Ohki – (x2 reviews) Zan's sister is fine, sorry for this chapter, and your muse scares me. I just might write the other one. No worries! .
Jus Kita Again – (x3 reviews) Kurama WAS awfully cute in chapter 2, I hope so too, and I LIKE angst. ::snickers:: Sorry, replying to more then one review is hard…
Kira – I'm glad you liked the part with the colors. I actually did research on that!! ::gasp:: I really made you cry?! ::is excited:: that's every angst writers dream!!!!
Chrisoriented – I'm glad I wear black too…
What2callmyself – you DO have to calm down… ::laughs::
AgentPenguin207 – b-but… I'M a Hiei fan… Does tat mean I'm going to get killed by my own people if I don't save him? Glad you like my writing!!
Crazy Clown – If you're not an angst fan reading angst… Whatever. I won't ask. Glad you like my story!!!
Kuruna Icefire – No need to apologize. You came back, no? Me too….
Punk Rocker Yugi – Zan's my twin known as Zan Artemis who decided not to review last chapter… ::glares at twin:: I suppose it doesn't matter cause I send them to her before I post. ::shrugs:: Milk is icky, I agree. Cookies… Depends on the cookie.
Everyone who said "Don't kill Hiei!!!" – Sorry?
::pants:: That was a lot… I'm never taking that long to update again!!
Dark - ::coughs:: yeah right ::coughs::
::rolls eyes:: I don't even know where he came from. Anyway, I own nothing but the plot, which includes the weird thoughts I seem to love giving the poor guy. This is yaoi and something else finally happens!! gasp But as the rating hasn't changed, you know it's nothing serious. This chapter includes suicidal thoughts. That's right people; we're back in Hiei's head!!! ::cheers:: Chapter 6, hope you guys like it!! (I do….)
.:.:.:.:. (these get harder and harder to make as they take away more symbols...).:.:.:.:.
I run away from the temple as fast as I can heading for the crevasse I saw earlier. I was right, there should be perfect. Even with a search party, who would look? And it's far enough away that they won't get there anytime soon. I've even decided on a method. What better then taking my life with the dragon that I used to kill others as strong as myself? If I weaken my body, I won't even be able to fight back unconsciously. It's fool proof.
As long as you really want it…
Damn it I do! This isn't worth it anymore!! He doesn't care!! No one does… What's the point? The only reason the detective was gathering everyone and trying to get them to go after me is because I'm useful. I'm powerful enough to be a force to be reckoned with and no one messes with me. I'm the Forbidden Child for crying out loud! No one gives a damn about my well fare unless they want me dead. What kind of life is this? Why didn't I think of this before?!
Maybe you've forgotten something. Maybe before you were right and now you've turned the wrong way. Maybe you should stop and turn back…
NO!! I won't stop. Never. I'm done playing charades. No more masks and false friendships. I'm not putting up with this shit anymore. I should have died a long time ago. I'm merely correcting a mistake.
I reach the crevasse and jump down to the bottom, landing cat like on the ground. I don't even get injured. I walk calmly downstream until I feel like stopping and kneel next to the water, watching the rocks shift in the current.
Nothing ever stays the same. There's always an outside force playing stream and messing everything up, even before you realize you may have had something.
Yes, and this time it was my own fatigue allowing my emotions to take over my body. It's almost as it the pebble that is my body got swept over a water fall and I'm waiting for the bottom. It's inevitable. An end of some sort. At least this way I get to choose it myself and no one else gets hurt.
I lower my hands into the cool liquid and close my eyes as it caresses my fingers, washing away everything of me. I'm not Hiei anymore. I'm a faceless entity with neither past nor future. I am. That's all there is, with only lingering pain from a nonexistent dream. It doesn't matter anymore. Even that's washing away.
I feel a single tear run down my face and fall in the water, splashing my face. I open my eyes to watch in fascination as the smooth gem rolls downstream and get wedged between to small stones before I standup and pull the other gems from my pocket. I stare at them for a moment before turning away from the stream and tossing them to the ground to find their resting place. It's the least I can do. They deserve something for existing, and it's my fault they're here. What if the were happy in whatever limbo there is before? It's not like they had a choice in the matter of what they are and how they came to be. I can't really hate them, despite them being a physical souvenir of weakness. It's not their fault.
It's not yours either.
They settle in a rough circle and I smile slightly. How unlikely. I walk into the middle and stand still, turning my face towards the stars and soaking in what little light they bear before drawing my sword and watching the moonlight glint off the edge. Only yesterday I wanted to use it to slay dreams. Now, it helps to slay its bearer. It's a wicked blade, killer of thousands and maybe more. Some how I still like it.
I set it on the ground and free my arm and my forehead of their warding and drop them casually to the ground. Nothing special in the way they land. They merely blanket the earth in a twisted pattern at my feet.
Your life.
I retrieve my sword from the ground and hold it before me. Where to cut… What would be the most strategic place to impale myself without killing? Probably in your side below your ribs and beside your stomach. A painful spot, but it puts you in no mortal danger. If you're a demon that is. I'm leaving the killing to the dragon. I've killed enough pathetic creatures in my life without adding another to the list.
I plunge the blade into my soft tissue and feel my flesh give way to its passage. I gasp and suppress a shudder, barely keeping from falling to my knees. I pull the sword out swiftly, ensuring more damage, and hold it before me, blood dripping down and coating the handle and my hands. Funny, they look no different then before…
I close my eyes and summon the dragon from the depths of hell. It's owes me a ride for its final release…
"HIEI!!!"
What the hell??!
I turn quickly towards the voice behind me and collapse into a pair of warm arms. I turn my face upward and see brilliant red hair flowing around teary green eyes.
"Ku-rama?" I choke out and feel blood run down from between my lips. I seem to have done more internal damage then I meant.
He's crying. The Fox is crying and hugging me. I let him lay his head against mine and taste his tears as the drip from his face. I summoned the dragon. It's coming. He has to leave!! It'll take him too!!
"NO!!" I yell and shove him away. He looks hurt and I hold my side tightly to try to lessen the pain. I feel the dragon come to my body and I face away from him as it pulls away from my body. I hear him gasp behind me and the arms are back around my chest, pulling me away from what I've brought to this world.
I turn around and bury my face in his chest and feel tears stinging my eyes again. He pulls me closer and puts his body between me and what was once my captive and I feel one of his arms disappear from around me. It doesn't matter what he does. Plants are no match against fire. He's going to die and it's all my fault.
Sobs rack my body as I hug him tightly. I know he's not going to leave me here. He would never do that to me. Why won't he let the dragon take me and save himself?! I can feel it approaching and an enormous amount of his ki growing into some plant. His other arm wraps around me again and he rocks me back and forth.
"Why?" I hear his voice next to my ear and I close my eyes tighter. The dragon should be hitting us in moments.
"Love… you." I manage between sobs and coughing up blood on his shirt. He's soaked in it from my wound anyway. He body goes ridged and I feel rather then hear him scream. I blink through the fog that's taking over my vision from blood loss and see his hair falling about me in silver and red and his eyes glinting gold in the green. I can feel the ki being sucked from my body and know that's what's happening to him to. Whatever plant he used seems to have merged with my dragon and now it wants to grow.
Ironic.
Stop the dragon and die from lack of energy. I don't even hurt anymore. I'm so tired… I hear a ripping noise from somewhere far away and open eyes that I can barely claim as mine. Through the fog I see roots everywhere, tearing through my body, through his. What ever we made decided since our bodies were starting to lack in energy it could use us as fertilizer. How degrading. Why do I still feel his arms around me when I can't feel my body being eaten by a plant?
"Let's go." I hear his voice in my ear and look up to see him and smile. He's somewhere between being the Youko and Kurama, with silver hair laced with red and fox ears. Glittering gold green eyes smile at me and he doesn't let me go.
"Our times up in this world. We have places to go and people to see." I nod and close my eyes as he pulls away from me and takes my hand. It's not over yet, he's leading me to the next adventure.
.:.:.:.:.(maybe I should put letters... They can't take away letters...).:.:.:.:.
Yes people, they're dead. DON'T KILL ME!!! IT'S A NECESSARY EVIL!!!! I fell in love with the idea I came up with for the epilogue to this ending (which isn't near as sad or gory as I was originally going to make it) and couldn't stand the thought of not getting to write it!! You can't blame me that much, can you? ::whimpers:: I'll make you a deal, If you still want Hiei to live after I post the epilogue tell me and I'll write up your alternate ending, k? I love you guys and if you decide to hate me I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll follow Hiei's lead…
Zan Artemis - ::hides boot behind back:: You had to reveiw at the last second... ::throws boot at Hiei::
Thanks for reading, please review!!