DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.

To Look Upon a Rose: Chapter 3

-Hiei's pov-

The futon shifted under me, and warm hands snaked around my waist as Kurama's soft lips pressed against my cheek. "Don't be angry, koi," he murmured as he settled down behind me, nipping playfully at my shoulder in attempt to lighten my mood. "I won't be that long." His voice lowered, and I felt him smile against my shoulder. "We'll still have all night…"

I shrugged him off, growling. After weeks of incessant training under Mukuro, I was in no mood to take second place to Kurama's inane ningen routine, especially tonight, when he had called me here himself. "Hn," I said. "Another empty promise."

Kurama's arms loosened around me momentarily before tightening again. "Please, Hiei, wait for me. We won't be more than a few hours, and this means so much to my mother. It's her husband's fiftieth birthday."

"You were the one who told me to come in the first place."

His breath sighed over my skin, warm and soft and almost enough to drive away my irritation. Almost. "I'm sorry, koi," he murmured, something sad and desolate tightening his voice. "I forgot."

I forgot. About me.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd always known that Kurama's ningen family came before me. Part of me had accepted it, and at first even expected it. I'd been used to being passed over and spurned, cast out and hated. And yet, despite all my efforts to prevent it, Kurama had changed that. Youko though he was, Kurama's promise of love and loyalty had never been broken.

Except when he had to choose between his family and me.

I'd ignored it at first, thinking it inevitable. But, I had slowly begun to care for the kitsune in return, and then it started to matter. Knowing that the one you loved would never hold you closest to his heart… hurt. I'd long ago stopped trying to deny that fact.

"You forgot," I sneered, clenching my fists in anger. I'd expected too much, raised my hopes too high, and now I was paying the price. I had no one to blame but myself.

"Hiei," he sighed behind me, "I have to go. I-"

"Why?" I growled, turning to face him. "You never followed anyone else's orders before. Why do you insist on following them now?"

Weariness clouded his somber green eyes as he leaned back against the wall, sighing. "Please, don't. We've been through this too many times already. I don't want to argue tonight, Hiei." His eyes met mine, begging me to listen. A darkness glittered somewhere in their depths, a shadow so dark even his mask of calm could not fully conceal it. I sat hypnotized by it for a moment before shaking my head and glaring up at him.

He sighed again, this time in frustration, and that damned mask began to drop again, just barely hiding the hurt I saw in his eyes. "Hiei, I've already apologized. But I can't ignore the responsibilities I have if I want to continue my life here. You know I'd love to stay with you, but I cannot renege on this promise."

What about the promise you made to me? I thought. Does that mean so little to you? "You'd love to," I said instead. "If you truly wanted, you would have left this world long ago. Nothing chains Youko Kurama except his own free will. Isn't that what you told me?"

He opened his mouth to object, then closed it, obviously struggling to keep his emotions in check. "I don't want to leave this world, Hiei," he said finally, his voice as near to pleading as I'd ever heard it. "You don't know how difficult it is to be trapped in the middle like this, both sides of my soul wanting a different world." Fists balled, he closed his eyes and swallowed. "Until you do, you won't understand."

"I know what it's like to be of two different worlds," I replied bitterly. "I'm a half-breed, remember?"

"That's completely different!" he cried as he shook his head, the last remnants of his stoic mask gone. Anger and frustration and something darker glinted in his gaze. I blinked. I'd never seen Kurama this… raw. He'd always kept a tight reign on his emotions, even around me. It was disconcerting to see him bare himself this way.

"You don't have the burden of choosing between your two heritages," he said, his voice cold. "Your choice was made for you. It was easy."

I straightened at his words, an icy torrent of rage washing through me, freezing me. "Easy?" Pain lanced up my arm; I'd clenched my fist hard enough to draw blood. I forced my fingers to uncurl and glanced at the four bloody crescents on my palm.

I couldn't remember a time when Kurama had been so careless with his words, which I'd found could be his greatest weapon. A weapon he'd never turned on me – until now. Something was different in him, something that evoked an anger in me I'd never associated with Kurama. I couldn't stop the rage racing through me. I wouldn't be tossed aside again. Let him chose the Ningenkai over me, but I would be the one to walk away this time. "If you think being thrown off an island and cursed by your own people is easy," I said slowly, "then the youko must be a barbarous race, for you to dismiss such as easy." I rose from my place on the bed and walked to the window, taking the time for one last look back, half of me hoping that I'd see him smile and reassure me that he hadn't meant what he said. But he only stared back at me, a frown creasing his brow.

Burying the pain that had my heart pounding, I pulled open the window. "Too barbarous even for a half-breed like me."

An eerie violet flashed beneath the green as Kurama's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Is that how you solve your problems, Forbidden Child? By running away?" he asked quietly.

Tauntingly.

Anger flared within me again, this time white-hot enough to rouse the energy that lay dormant in my right arm, though I knew that, no matter what, I could never loose it on Kurama. I met his eyes again, nearly losing myself in the swirling mass of icy blues and greens and golds, and shook my head before ducking through the window out into the night.

x

A/N: Wow, I got a chapter out early! For those of you who are following this story (thanks so much!) there should be about eight more chapters. The next chapter should be out in a week. I'm debating whether or not to add an epilogue or not, which would have Kurama explaining his past to Shiori. It wouldn't affect the plot of the story, but I've been toying with that idea for a while, and I think it would fit really well with the ending of this story. What do you think?

Oh, and if anyone knows Kazuya's actual age, please tell me! I haven't seen past the Sensui episodes, so I'm not really familiar with him. Fifty is an approximate age, because Shiori was forty in the Sensui arc, and this is about two years after that. But don't quote me on it!