Hinata didn't know what to think or say. All her thoughts had been focused on working up the courage to get this far, and now she was at a loss to go on. Gaara was no better; if anything, he was even less decisive in this situation than she was.
"Gaara-kun?" she began tremulously. "Why did you leave? I wanted to see you when I woke... but you weren't there."
"I couldn't stay," he told her bluntly, turning away from her so that she see his face. "I would have hurt you."
"You didn't when you slept," she reasoned softly. Gaara shook his head violently.
"You don't understand," he muttered, still not looking at her. "He doesn't like me sleeping, and he won't like this! He'll punish me for missing his chance to take me over." Gaara never spoke Shukaku's name aloud, but this time Hinata misunderstood him.
"Kan-kankurou-san? He's your brother, Gaara-ku—"
"Not Kankurou! Shu—" Gaara caught his words, cursing himself and still not turning to face her. "The other him. The one that sleeps inside me. Not sleeps. Waits."
"Gaara-kun." Hinata was almost whispering now, the room was so silent. "You... I heard this morning, in my sleep... you told me you loved me. You sounded like a dream, Gaara-kun... you sounded like an angel."
Gaara shook his head again, slowly, as if trying to clear it.
"Aren't you being selfish?" she went on, just as quietly. Her hesitance was gone; she felt no fear of him at this moment, as irrational as that seemed. "You won't hear my words, even if I come to... l-love you?" Her stutter reappeared as she said the words, and she heaved an inward sigh. She had taken the plunge, and now she would see where it led her. "Do you... love me, Gaara-kun? Is that why you came to the field every day? Is that why you watched me?"
He turned to her at last. Hinata caught her breath; tiny hands of sand swirled underneath his eyes. She couldn't imagine what they were doing, unless they were catching something.
Gaara, the murderous and icy Sand-nin, was crying.
"Hai, Hinata-chan!" he told her, almost desperately. "Aishiteru! But you can't love me! I'll kill you!"
"That's all right, Gaara-kun," Hinata told him, not thinking about the words, ignoring the threat– or warning, she didn't know which. "I don't mind. I can die after hearing that."
They stood staring at each other for a moment, neither sure what to do. Gaara was totally at a loss; this wasn't in his nature. He had never foreseen this situation, never imagined that this much emotion lay dormant inside his jaded heart.
The awkward moment passed as Hinata made up her mind suddenly and moved forward to kiss him. Only sand touched her lips.
She opened her eyes at the rough touch; Gaara hadn't moved, but a thin barrier hovered before his mouth. It was barely visible, but prevented their contact as surely as any wall.
"Gaara-kun," she said, begged, as tears filled her eyes. "What have I done?"
She tasted sweet... Shukaku murmured mockingly in his mind. The idea of that made Gaara feel more than a little sick.
"Nothing, Hinata-chan," he told her, trying to forget the demon's words. His face had regained its cold expression, but he was burning inside. "You can't touch my face."
"I... can't?" She drew back, thinking that he had rejected her.
"It's not my decision," he told her, obviously frustrated. He reached out and gently took her hand, as if he was unsure about what to do next. "As long as I initiate the movement, I can touch you. But you can never touch my face. It's not allowed."
Inwardly he screamed. Damn you!
Shukaku chuckled. Greater ones than you have tried, little one. Do not test my patience further
Hinata sat still for a few moments, digesting his words. Then she launched herself forward with a sob. The sand leapt up, but fell back immediately as Gaara leant forward and opened his arms to her, surprising even himself. The impact knocked his slight frame back, but neither of them cared. She clung to him and tentatively, he reached out to stroke her hair as her chest heaved quietly.
Hinata wept, and every tear soaked the sand.
Gaara was gone from that place soon after Hinata fell asleep, her arms locked firmly around him but easy enough to escape with the help of the sand. He didn't dare stay; one night of sleep was a wondrous gift, but he knew it would not, could not happen again. Not if the rumblings from Shukaku recently were any indication.
And the demon wasn't at all happy with Gaara's actions over the past two days.
The sand lifted him as soon as he left the shelter of the mansion, bearing him through the dark streets back up to the shelf on the mountain. Gaara dreaded what was coming, but knew that couldn't pass up his chance for a moment of happiness.
Even the moon looked cold, waxing rounder and rounder each night. Soon enough, his feeble control over Shukaku would wane even further.
He unstrapped his gourd and eased it to the stone. "Come out," he told it cursorily. "Let's get this over with."
Sand boiled out of the vessel like smoke, forming a perfect clone of Gaara, an identical mirror image. Shukaku, of course. Gaara had to force the demon into this shape with his will, not wanting it to take its true form in such an obvious place. It took great care to force the demon to do anything, and despite the cold, a tiny rivulet of sweat trickled down his neck.
I am disappointed in you, little one. The clone's mouth moved, but Shukaku's words arrived in his mind without passing through his ears. It didn't breathe; no steam in the night air. But Gaara was used to cold nights in shadowed company.
"It's not your business," he told the clone flatly. "Don't touch Hinata-chan."
She is making you weak, the demon warned. Little one, you do not need her. Look at your own behaviour. Mercy? You have no heart
"Yes, I do," Gaara found himself saying. The clone gasped, looking so humanly hurt that Gaara almost took pity on it.
Almost.
Do not defy me. Now Shukaku's voice was full of painful promise. Do not disappoint me any further. You know what lies down that road
In spite of his determination, Gaara winced at that. Shukaku was evil, but over the years they had developed a form of tacit affection. He couldn't begin to guess at the demon's designs, but his words always made sense.
Despite himself, now, Gaara began to see the demon's side of the argument.
We will kill them all, my little one Shukaku purred, sensing Gaara's waning resistance. You and I will be... the clone's lips formed around the word awkwardly, as if unused to it. ...happy
"Wait just a little longer," Gaara implored the demon. The roles had been switched again; Gaara had come here to force Shukaku's acceptance of Hinata, and now he begged for the slightest favour. "Baki-sensei doesn't want—"
Hai. The Serpent Shinobi's words were clear. We will bide our time
Gaara relaxed. Hinata was safe for now. "Hai."
They will recognise our power and bow before us
"Hai." Less sure. Gaara didn't care about respect and adulation.
The blood will water the fields of the Leaf Village
"Hai!" The demon's enthusiasm was catching. The thought of bringing so much death to the elite Jounins of Konoha was exciting in itself to Gaara, but Shukaku's powerful emotions made it intoxicating.
But you will kill the Hyuuga girl
In the growing frenzy, the grand dream that Shukaku was building before him, Gaara almost agreed. Shukaku always held Gaara to his promises, even forcing him to act as he had in the training field. "No! Not Hinata-chan!"
Do it! The gentle, friendly façade of the demon blew away in an instant. The sand clone came forward in open threat. Bide your time for the rest, but that girl dies!
"No!"
Love is weakness! You need no-one!
"Stop telling me what I need!" Gaara screamed, shockingly loud. The clone dissolved as if struck by the volume of his words, but that didn't mean Shukaku was gone; sand drifted across the stone like mist. Gaara panted, his chest heaving for several moments before he calmed enough to speak. "We'll make a deal," he entreated the demon, pleaded with him. "Give me two more days, and then I'll stay away from Hyuuga Hinata."
He could clearly feel Shukaku's doubt. Dead is safe. You can't be influenced by her if you give her to me
I promise, Gaara assured him silently. I will say goodbye and leave her to live her life.
Shukaku set great store by promises, and Gaara's words convinced him. But he threw out one final threat. If she approaches you after two days, in the Chuunin exam...
"You will kill her," Gaara finished, his voice not wavering. Shukaku's bitter laugh, however, set him back.
Not I, little one the demon promised. I will not kill the girl. You will
Gaara's mouth was dry, but he hadn't been given a choice. "So be it."
Then we have a deal The sand swept up, coalescing and diving into the gourd that carried it. Gaara didn't move for many minutes, trying to think of some way to outwit the demon and coming up with nothing. He didn't for one moment trust Shukaku, knowing that the instant he relaxed his waning control over the spirit would be the instant of Hinata's death. His concentration would need to be total.
But the promise the demon had made would prove somewhat binding. It would take effort, he knew, but the sand would obey him, as it had in the days before he met Hinata Hyuuga.
A/N: I was actually quite happy with that chapter. I know a lot of the dialogue is awkward, but I think there's a good balance of Gaara/Shukaku, Gaara/Hinata, Hinata/Shukaku relationship development. And Hinata's definetly growing; making her own decision to go to Gaara? I know Gaara was kinda OOC here.... I moved him too fast... but he'll return to form henceforth and I'll come back and neaten this chapter up later. I needed to post something (I always keep my promises, no matter how small)
Next chapter 13- Baki. The sensei has news about the Hyuuga clan. Neji reappears. I ingest too much sugar and add a small omake outtake which even made me wince. It will only be up for a few days because I can't believe I wrote something so terrible, so check back often.
Due to my being on semester break and having extremely limited access to a computer, much as I hate to say this, there'll be delays between postings. I'm having a lot of trouble with chapter 13.
Charm.