It was still dark--very dark--when Lu was awakened by an urgent knock at her door. Getting up hurriedly, she pulled on her robes and stumbled to the doorway to open it.

A messenger stood outside, worried look on his face. "Hali Lu?" he asked, rushing his syllables. "I need you to come with me. Now."

"What--" Lu tried to shake sleep from her eyes--with little success. "Why? What's happened?"

"I'll explain on the way," the messenger assured. "Please hurry."

A cold hand gripped Lu. Quickly, she retreated into her room long enough to find shoes, and then followed the messenger out.

The Palace was oddly empty--lights were still on everywhere, but there was no sound and no motion in the guest level halls.

"They're just finishing the operation now," the man explained as he lead her out into the dead darkness of an Estharan night. The soft glow from the buildings around them dimmed out the stars, lending a dreamlike, misty quality to the air. "It'll be the first time since his activation as a cyborg he'll wake up without another presence there--without the ICI. We need a familiar face."

"Is he all right?" Lu walked faster, trying to keep pace with the man. "The operation took so long--what happened? ...why isn't Anyev coming?"

"We don't know, there were complications, and she'll be called in soon enough. But, quite frankly, he's been in contact with you more, recently. At this moment, you're more familiar to him."

Lu felt a twinge of embarrassment--mixed with worry. "Complications? What complications?"

"The ICI is a complicated piece of work, it feeds into so many of the mind's functions... sooner or later the brain develops a dependency on the unit. It's been hard to work around that."

"But is he all right?"

"I don't know. We don't know. We won't know until we've had a chance to observe him."

Lu swallowed any further queries she might have made. The messenger lead her into the Institute, into a small waiting room outside one of the labs.

And they waited.

It couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes before the door opened, letting one of the scientists out or the room. He looked tired--he looked more than tired. He look exhausted, drained down to the lat bit of his strength. He looked at her for a moment before he realized who she was.

"Ohgood the FO," he muttered, slurring his words together. "Verygood. Go onin won'tyou. Thankyou for coming. If you needme I'll beoutside...."

The messenger nodded, and Lu stepped inside. The door hissed shut behind her.

Taiga was lying on a low bed in the center of the lab, breathing raggedly. Lu approached cautiously, not at all sure what was expected of her.

If she had thought the scientist tending to him looked terrible, she didn't know what word there was for Taiga. He looked like Death incarnate.

His eyes fluttered open, and he peered up at her for some long moments before he seemed to recognize her. "Lu," he croaked, voice harsh and rough. "Hali Lu, field officer, biomechanics, fifth level. Lu."

"Yes." Lu knelt down nest to the bed, trying to smile encouragingly. "It's me. How are you feeling?"

"I--don't know." Taiga stared emptily. "Tired... not like sleeping. Just... tired."

"You should rest and recover," Lu said. "You've been through some rough days."

"They took it out," he mumbled. "That's what he said. Removed the ICI. Said they had to...."

"It was a fatal error, Taiga," Lu swallowed. "It was the only thing they could do to save you."

"I... knew. I think I knew." Taiga nodded jerkily. "I--when we came here. I don't know how I got in there. How I got up to that hall--that's how I knew. But--the ICI told me it was a threat--he was a threat. It would have had me kill everyone. The guards--the President--" Taiga ran his tongue over his lips, looking off into space. "I--I told it to disregard. And you know what it told me back? It told me... it said, 'Directive denied.'"

Lu took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "Why...?"

"Why? Why?" Taiga laughed--a sharp sound, short and nervous. "Wh-who knows why. It was... it was insane, in the end. Directive denied. The ICI working against the will of the host body. I didn't know it could do that--I didn't know--what kind of person would let it do that? What kind of--of sick contingency were they planning for?"

Lu opened her mouth to say something--but Taiga interrupted her, voice infused with all measure of betrayal.

"I relied on it. I counted on it for everything, and now I find out--it's like it tried to kill me. Like I trusted it and it tried to stab me in the back. And I--I don't know what to do now and the first thing I can think of is ask the ICI--like I've forgotten already what it did to me, and I--I haven't forgotten. I just... it doesn't seem like it was the same ICI. It couldn't have been the same ICI. It--it couldn't."

"It's gone now," Lu tried to reassure him. "Don't worry--"

"I never--felt this bad, before. Never. Even when I thought I would go mad. Even when I was so sure I would just fold and whimper and lie down and die, I never felt this bad." Taiga looked up at her, eyes desperately asking her to understand what he was saying. "It's--something is missing now, and I don't know what it is. But I do. But it's--it not what I thought would go. It's not what I thought I'd--lose."

"It's all right," Lu tried to reassure him--tried to reassure herself. "Taiga, you'll get used to it. You just have to learn what it's like not to have it. It's all right. It'll get better."

"Do you know why I made it, Lu?" Taiga was staring up at her, eyes wide and impossibly earnest. At that moment, he didn't seem like a soldier--didn't seem like an adult. He looked like a child, waiting for her to make everything right with the world. "Do you know why I never made it that far on my own, but why I made it there no problem, with you? Why I made it so far away with Seiken, and with you?"

"Why?' Lu asked.

"It's because cyborgs are never left alone. Never. From implanting to dying day, there's always the unit. We never leave them. Never. And if you go for that long never being alone then when you are alone it... it's terrifying, with only you and the ICI. You can't do it. You can pretend that the ICI is a person so much that you start thinking that it's true, but it isn't. And when I was out there--six days, was it, or seven? I can't--I can't remember--I thought I was going insane before I found you. And I kept wondering how long it would take." He started laughing. "Do you know how long it take? How long it takes to go insane?"

"Taiga--" Lu would have given anything to end the conversation. Taiga didn't care.

"It takes six years, thirty-some days, and--and I don't know the hours. ...what time is it?"

Lu looked around. "Taiga, it's--"

"It doesn't matter. It's no use keeping track of the time. The ICI will do that for you. The ICI can keep appointments, if you need it to--did you know that? A lot of people don't." He breathed. "The ICI isn't a person, because it's you. That's what it is, for a cyborg. It's you."

"No--" Lu could hardly speak. Taiga's eyes were filling with tears--it was strange, she thought. She had never known cyborgs could cry. It had never occurred to her that there was no reason why they shouldn't be able to. "It's not you, Taiga--it's not--"

"It's--me, and I never knew that...." Taiga shook his head. "What do you think will happen, now? Now it's--gone--"

"It'll be all right," Lu said again, trying to make both of them believe if through sheer force of repetition. "Things will get better. You just have to rest now--and we'll be here. We'll all be here for you."

"Hyne," Taiga whispered, one hand raising feebly as if to touch her face. "Hyne, Hyne, you look so much like Alda."

Her own vision was flooding with tears that refused to fall. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "So, so sorry."

Taiga made a supreme effort, and smiled at her. "It's all right," he said. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known. It's all right." He put both of his palms down, pushing himself up as well as he could. "...I want to see my daughter," he said. "Please. I--I need to see her again. ...please."

Lu stood, nodding. "I understand," she said, even if she didn't. "I'll get her."

"Alda," Taiga whispered. "...you would have liked her. You would have liked her, Lu."

Lu made her way out, fighting back tears she couldn't quite explain.

-

It wasn't too long before they were able to usher Fujin into the lab, all too eager to do whatever they could to help Taiga. Hit was sitting up now--uneasily, staring at his hands and flexing his fingers. He looked lost--as if he was about to drift off, and never find his way back.

And, as if she understood exactly what was going on, Fujin ran to his side with more haste than she had ever run to anyone.

He looked up, and there was a moment between then that said more than conversation ever could.

"Anyev." Taiga's eyes were filled with tragedy. "We never got the chance to talk. I--you came all the way out and found me, and you came with me here, and we never talked. I can't--I can't believe it."

Fujin shook her head weakly. "Don't need words."

"Words--" Taiga took a deep breath, a ghostly smile playing across his lips. "Do you remember our house?"

Fujin nodded.

"And the days I would build a fire and tell you and your mother poems? The poems that Seiken wrote? ...do you remember those poems?"

She nodded again. "...yes."

"And I would--make wooden soldiers--" He was laughing now, eyes unfocused and fixed on nothing. "And--oh, Hyne, if they weren't the worst toy soldiers ever--"

Fujin chuckled, too. "I bought you one," she said. "Tin. Forgot where I put it."

"Maybe I should go out and look for it," Taiga jibed. "Walking all across the globe trying to find one tin soldier. What would you call that, Anyev?"

"Perfect," Fujin answered, without thinking at all.

"You know," Taiga said, "I thought for sure I wouldn't remember Seiken's poems a month after he told them to me, but I think I do. There was one you liked--or maybe I just liked it, and thought you did too--do you remember it?"

"The King and Queen are on the green," Fujin quoted, "and mallards on the pond they row--"

"And oh, the Queen is happy yet," Taiga added, "because...."

"...because the songbird tells her so!"

Taiga laughed. "And daisies draw their open mouths across the petal-scented air--do petals even have scents? I thought that was a different part of the flower--"

"And roses on the grass repose--because, the Queen, she left them there," Fujin supplied, finishing the stanza in a breath.

"The King and Queen, the Queen and King, alone under the shining sun," Taiga said, squinting with the effort of remembering. "They laugh, and sing--"

"--and hope, and dream--"

"--and love the sunsets, every one." Something caught in Taiga's throat, and he trailed off.

Fujin took a deep breath. "They sigh, the wind is not alive," she whispered solemnly. "But wind sings in the summer skies."

"They sigh, the wind is not alive... but wind sings, in the summer skies." Taiga's eyes clouded over, and he swallowed hard. "Anyev..." he said, with a sincerity that ached to the soul. "...you make me sane again."

Fujin closed her eyes. "Father--"

"And... even if I hadn't seen you, if I didn't know that you would come all the way to Centra for me and that you could fight and that you have the respect of such... such odd people, I--Anyev! Alda and I... we were stupid, lost kids and we didn't know what we were doing or why... but I don't regret you. You--you're more precious than either of us. You aren't proof that I'm human. You're my humanity."

Fujin shook her head. "Father, I--"

Taiga waved it off, weakly. "It's all right," he said.

"I--alive--" Fujin looked at him, scrutinizing his face. "You're my father," she said, and it had more power than any expression of affection or love could ever muster. "If I--your humanity--" She choked. "...you are my life."

Taiga settled back--smiling. Fujin reached out and took his hand in both of hers, holding on as well as she could.

"Fujin," Taiga breathed. "...god of winds. ...do you know why they call the cyborg's strongest attack 'Soul Crush?'"

Fujin shook her head. "No," she answered.

Taiga exhaled slowly, a noise so like a sigh of relief as to be heartbreaking. "...neither do I," he admitted, and died.