Much thanks for the reviews. Crazy Voldemort is fun to write about.
Fanasy
Disclaimer: Harry Potter no belong to me. :(==========================================================
Voldemort woke up to the ringing of his Hello Kitty alarm clock.
'Gollygeewillikers! I must get ready for the evil seminar!'
He hissed to his pet snake to make her slither off his bed. Nadir was like his
guardian at night. She was extremely useful for scaring off the boogey-man.
Wormtail came in with Gerber Baby food, The Dark Lord's recent breafast
favorite. "My Lord, would you like the baby carrots or the string beans?"
"Ummm... I'll have the baby carrots. After this we pick out my outfit for
the seminar. Something evil-looking to impress the other villains..."
Voldemort took a spork and started scooping up orange mush. "This
smells so appetizing! Those lucky Muggle babies. I hate them."
Wormtail nibbled on a handful of old cheese. He really wished
that his Master realized that just because he could turn into a rat did not mean
that he ate only rat food.
After His meal was finished, the Dark Lord's tone became serious. "Worm-
tail... we are going shopping."
"M-Master! We can't go into Diagon Alley! They'll recognize us there.!"
"I realize that, you idiot. We will travel to a place no one would think of
looking for us. The Pacific Mall of Ontario, Canada!"
Voldemort conjured a golden silk robe and then a headress that
covered most of his face. "I am the Emperor of China! Now I'll fit in with
all of the Asians at the mall!"
Wormtail opened his mouth to tell You-Know-Who that no one dresses
like that anymore, but then he remembered the wand with the orange feathers.
The disguised villain strolled through the mall, unaware of the many
stares his golden robe was drawing. Wormtail hid in his pocket as a rat. The
Dark Lord first went into a store that he thought looked quite evil. A young
teen with black lipstick and nails scoffed at the sight of this moronic foreigner.
"Scram, puny Muggle!"
The kid gave him the middle finger in response.
Choosing to ignore the bratty teen's gesture, Voldemort's gaze searched the
store. (A/N: Maybe he has some common sense after all!)
Punk rock music, which sounded like trash cans exploding to You-Know-Who,
roared fiercely throughout the store. In addition to His distaste, a pink bunny on
a t-shirt was mocking him. "Hahahaha!" the bunny laughed but only He could
hear it.
"I am getting out of here!" Voldemort muttered as He pushed aside the same punk
kid who gave him the middle finger.
"Watch it, Pops!" the kid shouted after the man clad in out-dated robes.
The Dark Lord entered a funny-smelling store with all sorts of Oriental
antiques and clothing. A short man with a wide smiling face greeted Him as silkily as
any experienced seller specializing in shady products would.
"Sir, you look like you have fine taste!" the salesman drawled like syrup. His lying
was so skilled that even Voldemort could not tell that he was lying.
"I'm trying to look my best for an important seminar. I have to look as evil and
threatening as I can," The Dark Lord informed the small man.
The salesman pretended to look thoughtful and measured Voldemort's height and
limbs. "I have just the suit for you!" he declared triumphtantly.
Voldemort cried in glee as he looked at his reflection in a bamboo mirror. He was
wearing something that looked like Elvis's suit had thrown up. Wormtail felt like
throwing up himself when he saw the suit from underneath the pile of golden robes.
The color was a puke green that looked 3-D with deep purple splotches. It was
something that would've made fashion-concious Lucius Malfoy faint if he saw his
Master wearing it.
"That'll be 600 Canadian dollars, Sir. Might I add, you look extremely handsome!"
"I do look delicious, don't I?" You-Know-Who admired himself in the mirror for
the 31st time. He did not bring Muggle money, so he just gave the salesman 2 Galleons.
The salesman's eyes lit up with greed when he saw as two pieces of gold. "This'll do,"
he quickly agreed.
Voldemort left the mall with his amused but sickened servant. "To the seminar, Wormtail!"
==============================================================
They're finally going to the seminar! I bet you were tired of wating.I wonder who the host of the seminar will be or where it's located? And would it really
help Voldemort? Or would it just make him crazier?