Chapter 4: Surprise Speaker Revealed

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. Marietta belongs to Laine.

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He and His servant stood beside Niagra Falls, soaked and irritated.
"I've always hated waterfalls. Why couldn't they have made this a volcano instead?" The Dark Lord grumbled as he took out a leather bag. Inside was Dark Floo Powder, the color of blood if it were ashes. He took a handful and threw them against the dull rocks.

"HELL!" he shouted as the crinsom flames roared, unaffected by the rushing water pouring down. Wormtail stepped in behind him.

He immediately wished they were back at Niagra Falls. He and his Master came out of a burning fireplace. Thousands of souls before them moaned like cattle as a hairy demon prodded them elsewhere.

The pair, one in an Elvis reject outfit and the other in shabby black robes, walked to the deck clerk. The clerk was a young blonde demon, probab-
ly no older then 500 years. She stared blankly at the pair while twirling her hair.

"Umm... like, purpose of visit?" she asked.

"To attend the seminar of evilness," stated Voldemort with a superior aura of proffesionalism. He loved to better at things than others, even if it was being a mere clerk of Satan's.

"You have to like, go that way," she pointed vaguely to the right. "And if you can't fnd it there, then like, go the other way. Wait, no." Her face scrunched with effort.
"Don't you have like, a compass or something?" she asked.

"How dare you accuse me of using such Muggle devices! I am Lord Voldemort,
I spit on that trash!"

"But Master, what about your hot pink cell-"

"SHUT-UP!"

"Oh well, too bad. Whatever." The clerk shrugged, then went back to reading her "Vain Demoness" magazine.

A beautiful, pale brunette in the same clerk uniform passed them by. Voldemort tried his luck with her.

"Tell me where the Seminar of Evilness is!" You-Know-Who demanded.

"Such rudeness! How about I-" She turned around.

"Oh, if it isn't the Dark Lord and his pathetic SLAVE." the girl sneered, glaring at Wormtail, who could only step back in fear.

"We know who WE are. Kindly introduce us as to who you are, but first tell us where the Seminar of Evilness is." Voldemort's patience was wearing thin.

"Go past the Nazi Torture Chamber and turn left at the Barney-Worshipper Pit. There are two brass doors decorated with skeletons. Go through those and you'll be there.
Can't miss it." She replied. "Oh yea, I'm Marietta. 2,000-year-old vampire."

Marietta bared her sharp fangs at Wormtail. "I'll see you later, traitor." The spawn of Satan walked away.

(A/N: Marietta will appear in our other Harry Potter fanfictions. Try to spot her in Two Precious Stones and also, Past of the Evans Sisters. She's the main character in Cold Blood & Kisses).

Voldemort went to find the doors while mentally scolding himself for having to ask directions. Wormtail followed his Master while keeping an eye on the many horrible torture specialties that the Devil thought up, no doubt with some of Marietta's help.

Behind the brass doors revealed hundreds of villains who have all, apparently, lost it too. Dracula was chewing on a piece of garlic and shuddering at the same time. Politicians and lawyers were playing a game of Go-Fish with Pokemon cards. The Teletubbies were dancing around Bigfoot, who had a bear-trap clamped on his foot.

The pair took seats in the front. Lucifer was on stage, trying to fix the microphone.

"Hello? Testing, testing, one-two-three." Lucifer's fiery rumble caught the attention of the villains.

"Greetings, fellow evil-doers." Lucifer's proud voice sounded like a father's. "When I heard of the troubles you were going through, I HAD to do something. I AM the source of all evil, it is my obligation."

A roar of applause came from the evil crowd.

"Please welcome the speaker. He is well experienced in public speaking. When he heard of your troubles, he wanted to help keep the balance between good and evil.
May I introduce; Mr. Rogers!"

An elderly man with a head of white hair and a baby blue sweater met the second applause of the crowd. He was smiling, though Wormtail could tell that he was slightly afraid.

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What a surprise, eh? If any of you do not know who Mr. Rogers is, he was the star of a children's show called "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood." Sadly, he passed away earlier this year (or was it last year?). I used to watch his show when I was little and I miss his mild-mannered persona.

More will be explained in the next chapter.

Almost 700 words! I'm so proud. :)