Chapter 3 Questions, Explanations, Revelations

Harry began running till he reached Magnolia Crescent, and then, he collapsed on the edge of the sidewalk to catch his breath. He could hear his heart breathing in his chest as the previous anger surging through him just moments before began to quiet down. He found himself looking down the same alleyway he had first seen Sirius in his dog form for the first time before his third year at Hogwarts. An intense sadness began creeping over him, but he was quickly shaken back to reality when he heard a loud in the not so far off distance.

Still under the invisibility cloak, he began to look around with his wand held out. Suddenly, he heard the familiar growl of Mad Eye Moody, "The Potter boy is over here." His magical eye began to dance around excitedly in its socket as Moody gave a lopsided grin and barked, "CONSTANT VILLIGENCE Potter,"

Harry began to pull off his invisibility cloak, but Mad Eye reprimanded him snapped, "Not here Potter…not yet. We've got to get you to a safe place."

Two more sounds were heard, and there stood Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks.
Tonks grinned in Harry's direction, "Wother Harry," but was quickly interrupted as Moody stepped in and directed Harry back towards Pivet Drive. But to his surprise, instead of going back to the Dursley's, he was directed into Ms. Figg's house followed closely by Lupin and Tonks.

Harry threw off his cloak and was immediately bombarded by questions.

"What did you think you were doing?"

"Why did you use magic?"

"Give us some explanations Potter."

"What happened??"

"Are you OK?"

Questions were being thrown at him left and right, mostly from what appeared to be Moody and a distressed looking Ms. Figg. Harry sat himself down on a couch and slightly winced as he shifted himself into another position. The questions and the rants abruptly stopped and all eyes turned onto Harry. He knew their eyes were piercing down on him as he forced himself to stare at the floor. Lupin sat down next to Harry and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. Harry briefly glanced at his former professor, met his eyes, and then quickly turned back to stating blankly at the floor. He was grateful to have the last connection to his family there with him, but the sadness of the events seem to weigh on him even more now.

From his brief glance at Remus, he knew that he hadn't eaten or slept in a week. His sandy brown hair was strewn, and he looked worse then in the previous years before a full moon. Then it hit him. Lupin lost his last friend and was hurting just as much as he was. He was the last marauder; all the others were dead, except Pettigrew, but he was good as dead. Peter Pettigrew betrayed his parents to Voldemort, killed a bunch of people and left Sirius to rot away in Azkaban prison for 12 years even though he was innocent, and had helped Voldemort back to full power. The bitter memory of Peter made Harry clench his fist, but a tear betrayed his anger as it rolled down his cheek.

After a few more moments of awkward silence, he lifted his head and saw Professor McGonagall standing before him with the others in the room still staring down at him. McGonagall took this brief acknowledgement to begin speaking, "Well Mr. Potter. I am glad to see you were found all right." A relieved smile seemed to come across her face but was quickly replaced by a stern glare as she continued, "Would you care to explain yourself?"

Harry hung his head down and sat there in silence. He knew he had unintentionally done magic and that it had happened before, but then he did magic against his uncle and on his school sruff. Maybe one part could be explained away as self-defense, but certainly not the other stuff. His stomach sunk at the thought of not going back to Hogwarts or not seeing his friends Ron and Hermione again.

McGonagall interrupted his thought again as she addressed him a second time, "Well…care to explain what happened? Ms. Figg said she heard raised voices in your house and that she saw the door open and slam shut but could not see anyone coming or leaving. Luckily I was here on watch in my cat form and was able to address the situation quickly. I got news to Lupin and Moody to help find you, The Ministry is in upright state concerning you…Albus is handling Fudge right now as we speak, and thank God Moody's eye can see through invisibility cloaks."

Harry let out a deep sigh, and Lupin gave him a weak smile and a reassuring nudge in the arm. Harry winced slightly from the pain he felt all over especially in his arms and side. He must have been bruised in his prior confrontation with his uncle. Lupin quickly took notice as he observed Harry's expression and leaned in to ask in a concerned tone, "What's wrong, Harry?"

"Nothing," he shot out a little too quickly.

Lupin arched an eyebrow at Harry, shook his head and studied him more intently before finally asking Harry to roll up his sleeves. Harry hesitated, but before he could ever respond, Moody spoke for him, "He has bruises all over his arm."

Harry quickly shot up from the couch and went into another room. He didn't like what had just happened; he was big enough to take it and didn't need the others babying him. He decided it was none of their business. A sour taste came to his mouth as he recalled the fight with his Uncle Vernon. Why couldn't he just have a normal solid figure in his life that he could go to whenever he wanted to with anything he needed. His thoughts went to Sirius, but he pushed them aside before he could shed a tear. Thoughts quickly found themselves to the Weasleys'; they were the closest things he actually had to a real family, but even though he appreciated their concern and all they had done for him, he didn't like being treated like a child. Alone in his thoughts a little while longer, he wondered what the other people in Ms. Figg's house were doing. He slowly got up and wandered back into the room he had previously left. He saw Ms. Figg tending to two of her cats in the kitchen. Tonks, Moody, and Professor McGonagall were nowhere to be seen.

His eyes landed on the slump, defeated figure of Remus Lupin. A feeling of sympathy overcame him as he looked at the last connection to his parents. He knew that this man seated before him has been through everything he had and more and carries a cursed burden that he should not have to had bared. Harry gently strode over to Lupin and sat quietly next to him. Lupin made a sudden jerk of surprise to the boy now sitting on his left. He looked remarkably like James except for his emerald green eyes. He looked like a man who did not have the chance to be a child. Lupin looked down at the young Harry James Potter, forced a light smile, and paused, not sure as to what to do next. He wanted to take care of Harry and tell him how much he wanted to be an active part of his life and that he would be there for him, but as he watched Harry with sad eyes, he remained motionless and helpless, not sure how Harry felt.

Harry was met with an awkward moment as he eyes his ex-professor, wondering what he was thinking. Then in a moment of lapse sanity, he threw himself into Lupin's side and began to cry. After the initial second of shock, Lupin pulled Harry into a firm embrace and held it until Harry slowly pulled himself away and gazed up at him.

Wiping his tear-stained face, he stammered, "I'm sorry Professor Lupin…I just..it just happened…"

Lupin put a hand on Harry's shoulder, "Harry, call me Remus. I haven't been your professor since third year."

"OK Prof- Remus," Harry stammered.

Lupin smiled and continued, "Don't apologize." He paused trying to find the right words to say. "I know I cannot replace Sirius or your father," he began slowly, "I'm not even suggesting…it's just…Look Harry. When your parents had you, they wanted me to look after you if something happened to them or Sirius…" He abruptly paused as he watched Harry apprehensively. Seeing Harry shift a little awkwardly but not saying anything, he decided to continue. "I can't be much of a father figure Harry, but I care about you a lot. I did from the day I first laid eyes on you and held you in my arms when you were a baby. You are not a kid anymore Harry. I realize that. You've been forced to bear something you never of had to." Suddenly a new train of thought entered Lupin's mind, "I know about the prophecy, not in it's entirety of course, but I know it must add to the burden you bare."

Harry's face sunk at the mention of the prophecy. Before thinking, he spat out, "You have no idea what I carry! NONE!"

Lupin debated whether to back away before Harry exploded or not. He decided it was time Harry expressed some of the stuff he had been suppressing, and that he was going to be there to help him get through it. He braced himself for what was about to happen and began, "I know this is hard on you Harry, but…"

Harry interrupted, "You have no idea how I feel! NO ONE DOES!!" He looked as if he was going to explode. Lupin saw the temper rising in his eyes, not at all surprised remembering his outbursts from the previous year.

Lupin tried to assure Harry, "This is good. You need to let all of this out."

Harry retorted sharply, "Why? Will this make you and all the rest of the Order happy?? …because 'ittle baby Potter,' supposed savior of the wizarding world, is too valuable and precious and delicate. We don't want him to do anything stupid."

"Harry," Remus tried to interrupt, "some of us really do care about you."

But Harry continued to rage, "Look at what happened to those around me. Half of them have been injured or hurt and what about the other half, THEY ARE DEAD! And it's all my fault…," he stammered. You have no idea what it's like knowing you are a danger to anyone who knows you. And it won't go away until Voldemort kills everyone I know. I am better off alone," he ended screaming and dropped to a heap on the floor.

An eerie silence filled the room before Lupin spoke. He knew he needed to again choose his words carefully, but he also knew Harry still had more he needed to empty out. "Harry, this needs to come out; it will be of some help. There are people here to help you…Ron, Hermione, Professor Dumbledore, me…we all care about you."

Slamming his fist on the ground, Harry replied, "NO ONE CARES. They're just concerned about their precious hero. Didn't you hear anything I said?! Everyone around me ends up DEAD! Maybe I should just die and then this would stop."

This time it was Lupin's turn to round on Harry. "Do you think you're the only one who has suffered at the hands of Voldemort? Do you actually think that Voldemort would stop because of you being gone? NO! He would just take over the wizarding world faster. I know that the prophecy has something to do about you and Voldemort, but you won't have to face him alone. You are NOT alone. Ron, Hermione, me and many others stand behind you and beside you."

"You're full of it," Harry spat, "You have no idea what the prophecy contains!"

"Lupin cut in, "Stop being so selfish Harry. You're friends and others make their own decisions to fight Voldemort with or without your consent. This entire war is not just about you. And you're friends will stand and fight like they did at the Department of Mysteries. They love you Harry, and as you have heard before, that is magic at it's deepest."

Harry looked as if the wind had just been knocked out of him. For a moment, Harry just stared in shock at Remus; he blinked, and tears began to glide down his cheeks. He pulled himself off the floor, but quickly slumped back to the ground and cried harder than he ever had before. He winced slightly from his bruised body and began shaking. Lupin rushed down to his side. Harry tried to pull back and cried, "I'm so – sorry." Lupin embraced Harry in another firm hug.

"It's not your fault Harry. Voldemort is responsible for all this…"

"But I…" Lupin cut him off, "None of this was your choice; you didn't choose for it to be like this." He gave Harry a strong nod before letting him go and looking at him intently in the eyes. He spoke solemnly, "Harry promise me you will not push everyone that cares about you away. Your parents…Sirius didn't die for you to die or be alone. They died so you could live a life with friends and love. Don't give up Harry or run away. If you do Harry, Voldemort wins. Do you understand that?" He waited to let the words sink in and saw Harry give a slight nod that he understood.

Lupin continued, "Harry don't push others away or shut down. Your friends and you're love for them and theirs for you is part of the magic that you possess in great quantities. It's hard to explain, but Harry you are not alone…not now and not in this war."

Harry looked up Remus and gave a grateful smile as he was helped up to his feet. A new strength began to fill him; he found someone he could turn to. He would not replace Sirius but he was his father's best friend and Sirius' too and he just proved himself that he would be someone important in his life and would be there without babying him or pitying him. Harry felt a warming relief course through his viens at the thought of Remus and the conversation they just had. Lupin gave his first real smile to Harry and then a mischievous glint appeared in his eye.