LETTING GO

"And all the talk and all the lies/ Were all the empty things disguised as me"

(The Goo Goo Dolls, Sympathy)

It was hard coming home every night, seeing her sitting there talking on the phone to someone else. Seeing her smiling, and knowing that no matter how much he wanted it, he could never have her. He knew he had to get over her, but somethings where easier said then done.

It had been two months since the Royal Cup, but things hadn't really changed much except for the sudden bond of friendship between Kris and himself. It was more of a rehab buddy then anything else, but this was more complicated then some twelve step process. No, this dealt with people's hearts.

Such a fickle thing, really. He never did quite understand what caused people to fall in and out of love. There was no regular pattern to follow, or common routine. Just, something inside of you changes. And he still wasn't sure if he wanted that something to come.

Naomi sat her legs curled up at her side, in front of the video telephone, talking with Brad. For both them being people of very few words it was surprising how much time they spent on the phone just talking. Leon chuckled softly as he walked past, noting the time. They had been on the phone for an hour- funny how people can bring out different sides of others.

"Alright, so I'll see ya tomorrow?" Naomi smiled, even through the darkness, he knew she was smiling. Goodbye was never a depressing thing for that girl, she never looked at those things as the ending of something, more like the starting of something new.

"Course, I'll pick you up about eight." Brad had seemed to take on a new life since he caught her heart. He smiled a bit more, Leon smiled as he remembered seeing the usually monotone mercenary skipping around the base, he thought he was going to die of shock.

"Goodbye!"

"Bye."

Naomi didn't even have to turn around to notice his presence, "hey Leon, glad to see your back," she turned around in her chair and smiled at her partner, "Brad told me you had left a couple of hours ago, I was starting to wonder where you where."

Leon smiled, "I was just around."

"Around?" She raised her eyebrows, "let me guess, you met some girl and have been sneaking around with her these past few weeks."

"Not exactly," Leon shook his head, he had found a girl a long time ago, but she hadn't found him yet.

She smiled, "oh really? Because what are these reports of you and Kris Tasker being seen hanging around town together?" She stood up and walked over to him, putting her finger on his nose, "you know you can't keep a secret like that for very long," she teased him.

Leon shook his head, "nah, me and Kris are just friends. But I wasn't with her tonight," he lied. He had been spending a lot of time with Kris lately, both of them could talk to each other so easily. But he didn't want Naomi getting the wrong idea about them, just in case.

"Oh really? Then where were you?" She put her hands on her hips, "you know it only takes about a half hour to get to the Toros base and back."

Leon smiled, "that's my little secret."

Naomi rolled her eyes, "you know for being the mature one, you sure are annoying as hell."

"Thanks."

"No problem." He smiled as he walked away, scooting into his room. Once inside his place of solitude, he closed the door softly so she would not hear. Then he turned, leaning his body against the door. His eyes darted around the room, his breathing growing heavy. It was getting harder and harder to ignore. Each day his jealously grew and grew and grew. He could feel it welling up inside of him, trying to push it's way out.

It would be so simple. Once Brad was gone, Naomi would turn to him. Maybe even come to realize that she was perfect for him. Then one day she would admit her love for him, and he would take her in his arms and never let her go. They could be married on a hill, surrounded by all their family and friends. She would wear a long white dress, and him, he would wear a dressy tuxedo that made him look like a penguin. They could live in a small home, just out of town, but away from the desert. He could play with the children in the yard, while she cooked a nice dinner for the four of them.

His smile grew and grew as he thought about all these things he could have. But it grew somber as he realized it was only a dream. A fool's prospective on reality, really. His body slid down the cold door, until he felt the hard floor beneath him.

He shook his head, trying to wash away that dream. Brad was his friend, no matter what had happened between him and Naomi. He had no idea of Leon's feelings for the red comet, he himself was never much of a romantic. Each time Naomi kissed him in front of people, he would blush and mumble something incoherent.

Naomi thought that was cute. The girl had the nerve to tell him that, he who so longed for her sweet kisses. She said that he couldn't keep a secret, well the fact was that he had been for several years now. Once, a couple of months ago, he thought he had a chance with her. Especially after he joined her team. He had let his head get big, Naomi had asked him after all, he was sure it must have meant something. But all it meant was for Naomi to have a skilled pilot and a nice guy around. In other words: a friend.

A fucking friend. That's all he was to her. She would tell him things that no one else knew, but that was all changing. Now all she ever talked about was Brad. Brad this, Brad that. He couldn't take it anymore!

He grabbed two handfuls of hair, wishing he could scream out. His breathing got heavier as he looked around the room, everything in it reminded him of her. She had been in his room plenty of times, he could see in clearly in his head wandering around in it. Laughing and smiling.

He had to get out of there. It was driving him insane.

Slowly he crawled from his position on the floor up over to his window, opening it up slowly and saying a silent prayer that Naomi wouldn't notice his disappearance. He carefully slid out the window, lowering himself down until he could feel the hard ground beneath his feet. He had to chuckle to himself, he never quite pictured himself sneaking out at this age. When he was younger, maybe, but now, never. Especially since he didn't live with his father anymore.

That was just how pathetic he was getting. He didn't want her to know he was weak, or that he was suffering. Things would just get so awkward between them, and he sure as hell didn't want that. At least as a friend he had a chance with her, a slim one, but a chance none the less. And at least this way he could see her everyday, see her smile, talk with her, laugh with her. At least this way he could pretend, just fool himself into thinking that she loved him back. That she was his.

But the sad truth of the matter was, no matter how hard he tired to forget, he always remembered.

Leon walked up to a familiar sight, the bright neon lights of the bar creating a riot of colors against the dreary night sky. Fooling its visitor that this was a happy place, that they could be at peace there. The bar had become apart of him in these past few months, the bartenders starting to treat him like a regular, knowing his drink, his name, it was like that old television show. What was it called? He could hear it's theme song playing over and over again in the back of his mind, "you wanna be where you can see, the troubles aren't always what they seem," he began to hum along to it's lies, "you wanna be where everybody knows your name." Cheers. That was the name of the show. Cheers. A pathetic excuse for reality really, no amount of alcohol could drown out your troubles. Even if you passed out, when you woke up, the first thing that came to your mind was your problem.

He walked into the bar, taking his usual seat at the counter, still humming the song. The thing about troubles where that they clung to you like a sickness, latching on to your brain and bit by bit ripping apart your heart until there was nothing left to tear.

"Hey Leon, the usual?" The overly perky bartender greeted him.

He mumbled something even he didn't understand, and nodded. Maybe she understood what he said, because she turned and got him his drink in record time. It was probably something threatening, because she left him as soon as she gave him his beer. He didn't care.

"You know you're breaking the rules," a familiar voice came from behind him, trying to sound as amused as possible.

"Then explain to me why you're here, Kris," Leon forced a smile, not even bothering to turn around and look at her.

"I needed to get wasted, I figured this would be the best place. And besides, this was your resolution, not mine."

"Whatever," he mumbled, motioning for her to take a seat next to him. "And I never said that I couldn't get wasted, I just said that I was gonna try to not get casually drunk. Drunk and wasted are two different things."

She plopped down besides him, holding her almost finished beer in between her hands. "So, couldn't stand to stay away from me, could ya?"

"Are you drunk?"

"That is kinda the plan," she laughed, "well actually the plan is to get wasted, but drunk just kinda happens along the way, y'know?"

"I knew there was something up with you," he teased.

"Ha, ha, ha, you know very well I'm not drunk," she paused, taking a huge gulp and finishing off her drink, "yet."

"Always such a lady," he smiled, taking a huge slip of his drink.

"Always such a sore loser," she teased pointing out the fact that she had just drunk a lot more of her beer the he had of his.

"Ha, ha, ha."

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a long time, both just drinking as much as they possibly could before the threat of vomiting would come into play. The music sang in the background, the singer weaving a lonely sob story about love and loss. But the notes seemed almost lost to the two pilots. Both so emerged in their task of forgetting that everything else but the one thing they wanted to forget would disappear.

"I found out something funny today," Kris said flatly, downing another beer.

"What?"

"You remember how Kelly acted so funny for so long right after Jack moved in."

"No, but I wasn't there," Leon reminded her, motioning the bartender for another round of beers for the both of them.

"It's because her and Jack were together back then," she spat, pushing away the glass so that it moved down the long bar. "They were sneaking around, cause they said they didn't wanna hurt my feelings! Can you believe that!"

Leon watched her closely, looking at all the little things he had noticed about her in the past weeks he had spent with her. How her right eyebrow would arch when she yelled, the shape her mouth made when she spoke is disgust. How strands of hair would always fall out of her tight bun and into her face when she was drunk. And how she had five different smiles: one for when she was truly happy, one for when she was laughing, one for when she was just trying to be polite, one for when she saw her friends, and one, one for when she was so drunk that everything was hilarious. A spoon, a singer, a bum, anything was up for grabs.

"Those bastards," she stuttered in a drunken fashion, picking up her next bottle. "You know what, in that affect, their actually quite perfect for one another!"

"Love sucks," Leon mumbled, downing yet another beer. "Why do we even bother?"

"I donno," she said sadly, "I guess to me, he was, he was, he was everything I thought I wanted."

"What do you want?"

She smiled dreamily, closing her eyes and picturing her dream guy, "the kind of guy that you can depend on, that you know won't run away. You know, he's there for me at my low points and still loves me, even if I'm wasted." She laughed slightly, "which, apparently happens a lot now," she let out a snort, which in turn caused both of them to laugh. "Y'know, he's the kind of guy that I can talk to, that's loving, and supportive, that shares things that happened to him too, someone like, someone like," she jerked open her eyes, not wanting to finish her thought.

"Someone like, who?"

She bit her bottom lip, "someone like you."

Leon sat back in his chair, not sure of how to take this revelation. Sure, they were both a little on the drunk side, not wasted yet, but both well on their way, but still. His normal self was screaming at him to say something back, told him that he had fallen in love with her over the past months. Without another thought, he leaned in, grabbing her face, and pulling her lips to meet his in a fiery and passionate kiss.

Actions did always speak louder then words.

Kris kissed him back, parting her lips open ever so slightly to let his tongue inside and wrestle with her own. There was a spark, hell, there were fireworks. Maybe they were drunk, maybe this was a huge mistake. All they knew, was in that moment, they were happy. They had finally let go.

And it wasn't as scary as they thought it would be. In fact, it was magical.

I had written this fic because almost all of my reviews asked to me update to the next chapter soon. Well, I thought I had made it pretty clear that the fic I had written was meant to be a standalone fic when I posted it. But the idea of a Kris/Leon hook-up was still impending a story or something. It sounded like a fun couple, espically since neither of their characters were extremely well developed in the series. Left a lot of room for me to fill in, which meant, less complaints in reviews about how my characters a sooo different. I hate that.

Anyways, I started work on this about a couple months after I posted Holding On and actually have two different verisons of it. I just happened to like this one better, the whole dirnking thing, adn the fact that we really don't know what's gonna happen to them. It's just up in the air, like how the last one left off.

Well, I hope I didn't bore you too much. Reviews would be most awesome.