Author: Ok…sorry to all of you who weren't sure if this fic was over yet or not. Um…yeah its not. heh. Actually I'm planning to end this with about 6 chapters, and this one (and the next one) are actually where I got the title for this fic.
Right now I'm on my computer and not my parents' one, and I don't have internet as I'm typing this…so I don't really have the reviewer names to reply to, but I remember most of the questions (I think) that I need to answer.
Concerning Pairings – This fic itself will only have a slight pairing that is a het pairing. There will be more, but that will be in the sequel that I plan to write, it will be just a romance fic that should be pretty fun to write.
Uh…I'd also like to thank the guy who sent me the flame for doing it courteously instead of being a jerk about it. It means a lot to me to know that you respect me enough to tell me my mistakes without being a jerk.
And concerning the flame…yeah…I kinda forgot about Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Iruka's places in Naruto's "friends" list…but I really don't have the desire to go back and edit them in anymore. So for simplicity's sake…he just thought they didn't like him while he was in his fit of Kyubi induced psychotisism (I think that's a word). The sealing…I meant for Shikamaru to imply that when he said "used to" he meant, their grandparents had heard bed-time stories about how it used to be done…I had to get a little creative there so…that make sense? It does to me at least…Also, uh…I need Nira. That's the only reason that she didn't get smoted…she has a place in my sequel that may end up being very important so I decided to leave my options open.
That's all I think…so…
Chapter 4:
The feeling itself was completely indescribable. Almost like a concept instead of a physical feeling. A dream in which one knows what transpired, but doesn't remember the moment in which it happened.
He knew that the blade slid easily into his chest, he watched it glide towards him through glistening eyes. Time slowed down as the blade drew closer and closer, but when it connected, when it parted the flesh and sunk into his heart…there was no pain. It felt more like a shock and tingle, than any bladed wound he had received in battle before.
His body might have shook a bit as his heart pumped furiously it's last few times, but he didn't feel it. Loosely, his vision had caught a glimpse of red, but that was all. His consciousness and his vision faded quickly into a blur.
But that's not what scared him…
He expected that…
What scared him was that the blur that had covered his eyes returned with him as the darkness faded away. Within moments, his vision returned to him completely, and he found himself in the living room to his apartment.
When everything had fully cleared, he looked around. The clothes were still strewn around, along with the cups of ramen and various dirt. Even the mirror that had haunted him earlier was still just the way it had been before.
His memory returned all at once as he registered what had happened to him, and what he had done to himself.
'What's going on here?' He thought to himself, visibly confused.
He strolled across the room to find a chair to sit on, avoiding the rubble of garments and ramen bowls. In an attempt to gather himself together and figure out why he was still alive, Naruto sat down.
Or whether…tried to sit down.
He fell right through the chair, and stopped in mid air right above the floor, levitating.
"Huh?" A bit dazed, Naruto looked over himself, alarmed by the fact that the chair must have moved, and even more alarmed at the fact that he was floating. He became aware of a warm sensation one of his legs which was currently being "pierced" by a chair leg.
His leg moved out of natural reaction before he actually screamed, fading out of the chair leg.
Naruto could count on his hands the times when he was so speechless that not even a peep came out of his mouth…this was one of them.
He experimented a few more times with this, moving his leg through the chair leg multiple times.
'What the?'
He felt the same tingle in his hand as it dropped through the floor of his apartment.
'This isn't gonna work…I wonder if I…'
Naruto willed himself mentally to rotate in the air, and his ethereal body complied. In a moment he was face up with his legs and torso in the room below him.
'Okay then…I should be able to…'
Another whim and Naruto floated upwards until he was fully into his own apartment again. He floated a bit above the ground, bobbing slightly.
'Oh right…I'm dead.' Relief settled over the ghost boy as the confusion melted away. 'I was kinda hoping to go onto an afterlife…I guess being stuck here counts as Hell though.'
He sighed to himself and floated over to the window to see the sun rising over the walls and shining a bit into the city.
'May as well see the celebrations and stuff over my death…' He drooped physically at the thought…spending eternity here truly would be Hell.
With that he passed through the window and floated ominously down one of the many nameless streets of Konoha.
In some ways, it was nice to be out there with the fresh morning. He could still feel the cool morning air and wind, and he could still inhale to take in the scents. The street he was currently on was calm without the many Konoha residents around to walk through them. He could see various stores and shops that never held any significance before and didn't now. A few were starting to open, disturbing the peaceful quiet, while the rest stayed closed.
Naruto passed by one of the opening shops to see the shopkeeper had a wide smile on his face as he set out the "Daily Special" sign. Naruto's expression changed to anger, the date was marked as Thursday, Nira attacked him the day before…there was no question in Naruto's mind about what the shopkeeper was smiling about.
Quickly, he floated straight up so that he couldn't see the smug looks on the faces of anyone else that came out. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the Hokage's office.
'May as well see what the old hag is up to.' His thoughts refused to get any brighter.
With that he made his way towards the office, making sure to stay far enough above the streets. Once he reached the building he made his way for the window that he knew was none other than Tsunade's office.
His ethereal body fazed right through the glass window, a tingle went through his body in unison with the glass. He found himself in the office, papers strewn everywhere, the area looking like a complete mess. But nowhere amongst the rubble was the sleeping form of Tsunade he expected to see.
"Well that's odd"
His voice rang a bit in the stillness of the room.
He floated to the door into the room and fazed through it into the lobby to find Shizune sitting at a desk looking a bit troubled. Naruto noticed the expression , and was about to ponder it when Hiashi walked up behind him and fazed through him, stopping at the desk.
"I'm here for this meeting."
His voice was cold as ice and Naruto imagined his eyes were even colder. He floated up just in time to see a still troubled looking Shizune point Hiashi to another door down a short hallway.
"She's in there…"
Hiashi blinked his eyes and tucked his head a bit in a slight bow, before wordlessly turning down towards the door. Of course, Naruto followed him down the hallway and into the room.
Before him was a well polished table stretching near 30 feet one way and 3 the other. Lining each side, sat various men and women, of each of them, Hiashi looked one of the youngest. A few of them he recognized from the clans from the genins he once called friends.
The was the sound of a throat being cleared, and all eyes turned towards a very determined looking Tsunade sitting at the head of the table.
"Good morning all of you, I'm sure your all wondering why I asked you all here so suddenly."
There was a slight murmur when Tsunade let a break in her speech be heard.
"Well, as you know, the Hokage oversees every major and most minor events in all of Konoha, and it is my duty as such to pass judgement according to the laws set down for both ninja and civilian alike. Also that it is customary that whenever the laws which are used to govern need to be changed or wavered, a council of the clan heads must come to a majority vote."
There was a slight murmur again showing the rising tension in the room.
"Well, that is why you are here. I come before you all to waver one of our oldest laws due to certain circumstances regarding a young ninja of this village that has done much in his time."
There was silence.
"Uzumaki Naruto ended his own life yesterday around late afternoon, as you know, our customs don't allow us to give funeral rights and honor to those who die without it; however, this young man did more for this village than many of the ANBU that we give honor to everyday."
This time there was dead silence, even the ghost of Naruto was shocked into joining the unbearable silence. It took a moment before the blond could utter words that only he could hear.
"The old hag…is standing up for me?"
His voice trembled for his own quivering ears to hear.
"I am not requesting a large funeral to be held in which the entire village pays respects, I merely ask that those that were close to Uzumaki be given at least this one day off in order to grieve and pay their respects without their duties and traditions getting in the way."
Naruto caught a slight crack in Tsunade's voice by the time she reached the end of her request…was it possible that his death had affected people other than himself? No…no it couldn't have…he was the village monster…he must have imagined the crack in her voice…but what about the quivering on her face that not even her genjutsu couldn't hide…?
A voice dull voice emerged from the darkness, originating from a man of very old age. Naruto didn't recognize the man, but he seemed to be one of the eldest in council. Naruto waited in anticipation to what the old man had to say.
"Why should we wave one of our eldest traditions for the sake of this one boy? What has he done in order to merit such a change? And if I'm not mistaken…was not that boy the carrier of the Kyubi that nearly destroyed everything we hold dear?"
Naruto half expected this…the man had a point…there was no reason for people to pay honor to him, it wasn't like there was anyone to pay honor anyway…What got to him the most though, was that the man's voice didn't ring out with anger and malice like the ethereal boy expected, it held a sagacious tone of wisdom and knowledge. Someone so wise couldn't be wrong…
"Because he was an example of how not to give up, something that all of our young ninja should aspire for. He endured more than any person in this village could bear, and he did it all alone for so long…yet…"
Her face turned down to the table, her gaze no longer focused on the people in front of her. Her voice dropped to a quieter one of pity, despair and sadness.
"He never let anyone see how hurt he was…he always endured with his head held high. Trail after trial, defeat after defeat, one unacknowledged victory after another, yet he still pressed on with a smile on his face. His memory should be preserved so that our other ninjas can learn to…"
Naruto's massless eyes were beginning to water at what the hag had said, she meant every word of it he could tell. His heart sank when the next words pierced the air like a sword, a younger council man interrupting the Hokage, something that few ever did.
"Just go and end your life when things gets too rough. That doesn't sound to me like a model ninja, one that I want my grandchildren to aspire to be. No, that demon cub has died, ending a plague on this village once and for all. We were too kind in the first place to allow him to live among us, but now he's dead. Let us just continue to live on in peace and forget the wretched creature."
This voice was full of malice.
Tsunade's head bowed back down to the table, moving away from the near angry clan head that had spoken.
"Do you all feel the same?"
There was an uncomfortable silence. Naruto turned his back and started floating towards the door, he was angry now. If he could have cried, he knew he would've been, but his eyes refused to do more than become heavy as if ready to pour.
"Then I guess there is no point in voting…you are all dismissed."
Naruto heard some shuffling in the room as he fazed out the door and through the roof. His face was expressionless, the happiness for hearing what Tsunade said about him was met equally by the bitterness he felt towards the council and most of Konoha at the time. The yin and yang balanced out as always and Naruto was left with void.
He floated mindlessly, over the city as the sun finished coming up.
Without realizing it, he found himself at the bridge where he and the rest of team seven met in the morning. He was about to leave when he heard a loud sigh from the distance behind him.
He turned to see Sakura emerging from the greenery and heading for the center of the bridge as always, Naruto assumed to wait for her precious Sasuke-kun. He seethed inwardly at first at the thought before something hit him. Sakura wasn't cheery like normal, she didn't have the look of passive confidence or slightly cheery step she normally had when expecting to see Sasuke. She looked abnormally calm actually, possibly sad, she kept looking over her shoulders and in all directions as if looking for somebody. But the looks didn't have the desperation they held when looking for Sasuke…
So she was looking for someone else…but who?
She reached the center of the bridge and leaned against the side railings, her arms crossed underneath her chin, her eyes held a sadness that Naruto had only seen a few times. It looked like there was a lot on her mind, an expression of slight guilt was also present on her features. She sighed once again before looking around once more for whoever she wanted to find.
Naruto floated down in front of her, hovering over the water and stared at her sad eyes. It was odd seeing those emerald eyes so close to tears, the last time he had seen them like that was when Sasuke had left to the Sound. He heaved a sigh before he heard another set of footsteps approach. These, a lot quieter, even Naruto could tell who was coming now.
…Sasuke…
Sakura's eyes rose rather drearily to Naruto's surprise as she turned her attention to Sasuke.
"Sasuke…" Her voice was still quiet, echoing the expression her body showed. "Have you seen Naruto-kun yet? I still have to apologize for yesterday…"
"That dobe? He's probably still sleeping" Sasuke's voice was colder than usual, a tinge of uneeded malice colored his voice.
Naruto by this time had risen back to the center of the bridge. He was about to start fuming when he realized four things. 1) Sakura didn't have that whining tone in her voice. 2) She hadn't flocked over to him like she always did. 3) She said something about apologizing. And 4) She had just asked Sasuke about where Naruto-kun was.
Naruto was in awe and was silenced. Then he noticed that Sakura was too.
Her eyes went to the ground, and her fist crumpled up. The trembling in her body was matched only by the trembling in her voice.
"How could you still say that about him knowing all he's been through?"
He looked up at her as if what he didn't care about a word she said.
"Because he's not the only one that has had to deal with pain. He should consider himself lucky, he is about as strong as they come, and he doesn't have to worry about people annoying him all the time."
He spared her and arrogant glance.
'Did he just say that I'm strong…?'
Naruto watched the scene before something else even more surprising happened.
There was a puff of smoke, and Kakashi was there amidst the two. The jounin for once was silent as he made his entry, his trademark "yo" was just as absent as his renowned tardiness.
Sakura bit back something as Kakashi appeared, she turned to the jounin, ignoring Sasuke.
"Kakashi-sensei? Your on time." A smile was working it's way across her face, and even though the teacher's face was covered by his mask, she could tell he wasn't smiling back.
When he didn't respond, she spoke again.
"Well Naruto-kun's late today, isn't that funny?" She forced out a bit of a chuckle trying to break the rising tension. Kakashi visibly shuddered at the comment, Sasuke walked over with his arms crossed, a bit of a scowl on his face.
"That idiot is probably still asleep."
Kakashi was still speechless, the gaze in his one visible eye fell to the ground for a moment before making it's way to back to his team.
"Naruto will not be joining us today, instead we will have Hyuga Hinata transferring to our team for a short while."
"What? Why isn't Naruto coming today?" Sakura was the next to speak.
"I will explain that when Hinata gets here."
Sakura's eyes fell to the ground as a bit of guilt washed over her.
"Why is Hinata joining us, what about her team?" Sasuke's normally cold voice broke the silence next.
"Her teammate Inuzuka Kiba was hospitalized yesterday, so her team was split up until he recovers, Aburame Shino went to join Asuma's team in place of Nara Shikamaru for the time being."
Sasuke "hmphed", it was obvious to everyone that he didn't want to work with one he thought as weak as Hinata.
Naruto tensened at his action, Hinata had been a friend of his, she had proven that she had the will to fight when odds were stacked against her, strong or not she was brave. Even if she hated him now…that was still no reason to let Sasuke get away with insulting her like that.
All three ninjas looked up at the same time, towards some of the trees leading into the clearing they were in.
"Sounds like she has arrived…" Kakashi's voice was grim. Telling Sasuke about what happened wouldn't be too bad, the boy had seen so much death that he figured the most he'd have to worry about was the boy withdrawing into a shell. Sakura would be worse, she had grown a liking for Naruto and had begun respecting him as a valued team member, even though he still annoyed her, she had grown to be good friends with the blonde. Hinata was a completely different story. He had no idea how she would react to this, everyone except Naruto knew she had a massive crush on him but never had the guts to tell him. She had a rather passive and almost frail personality…finding out about Naruto's death would definitely hurt her the worse…he just didn't know how he would handle whatever she did.
Almost as if on cue, as the pale eyed girl walked into the clearing, any noises from the animals in the surrounding forest stopped. The previously unbearable silence had increased tenfold as even the wind stopped blowing. Sakura held back a shudder, Kakashi arriving on time had been a bad omen, but this was far worse…she was starting to wonder whether Naruto was alright or not.
Naruto saw the look of guilt that Sakura had donned on Hinata's face as well, except on her it had increased ten-fold. Instead of just her fingers being entwined, both of her hands were together, fidgeting madly. It looked as if she was so guilty that she could cry.
She made her way through clearing until she reached the bridge.
"Good Morning Sasuke, Sakura-san, Kakashi-sensei"
She bowed to Sakura and Kakashi, her voice quivering from timidity and whatever else was bothering her.
Sasuke didn't seem to mind Hinata's greeting, instead he turned to Kakashi and broke the silence yet again.
"She's here, now are you gonna tell us what happened to the dobe and why he's not here?"
Hinata and Sakura seemed hurt, Kakashi turned his back, his head bowed.
"Y-Y-you know where N-Naruto-kun is?"
'Naruto-kun? But, just yesterday…she said just…but now…what's going on here?' Naruto was confused by the girl's choice of words.
"I-I went to his a-apartment yesterday…b-but he wasn't home. I w-wanted t-to apologize."
Her eyes stared at Kakashi's now tensed back, slight hope in her eyes.
"P-please tell me where h-he is Kakashi-sensei, so that I can go…"
He cut her off, his voice was more muffled than it normally was by the mask.
"That won't be necessary…"
There was a gasp from Sakura and Hinata, the Hyuga's normally mysterious and beautiful eyes were fully aware as her heart began to race. Even Sasuke's undivided attention was on the jounin.
Hinata began to stutter something as she tried to make coherent words but was once again cut off by low voice of Kakashi.
"Naruto-san…is dead."
There was silence once again as both Hinata and Sakura's hearts ceased beating for a moment. Sasuke was fully attentive now and had pushed off the tree he had started leaning on, his eyes wide open, staring at the jounin.
Kakashi took a deep breath and continued on.
"Yesterday…Tsunade-sama sent someone to check on Naruto-san after the incident with the Inuzuka girl. When they got to his apartment they found him…laying out on the floor…there was a kunai in his chest…and blood all over his arms and hands."
Hinata started to cry.
Sakura fell to her knees, her eyes dulled over from shock.
Sasuke stood there, regaining his composure, shocked that it had happened, not willing to show it.
"They searched the apartment for traces of a murderer…"
"But they found none right?" Sasuke managed to pull himself together in time to interrupt the jounin. His voice rang out more frozen than they had ever heard before.
Kakashi didn't answer, confirming they're fears.
Hinata without word, took off into the forest faster than any of them had ever seen her run. Her wails and screams drew out the obvious path they had taken.
Sakura managed to get to her feet, still recovering from the shock, she looked up at her sensei's back.
"Dobe" Sasuke calmly muttered before taking off slowly towards the forest.
Naruto was thoroughly confused by everyone's (except Sasuke's) reaction to what just happened. Needless to say, an expression of awe was written on his ethereal face, his mouth hung open as he looked from Sakura to Kakashi to the path Hinata had taken.
"K-kakashi-sensei…please tell me…it's not true…it can't be…"
"Go home Sakura…"
"Please…answer me…tell me your lying…"
Sakura's voice was beginning to raise as tears began to stream out of her eyes.
"Go home…"
Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke leaving only Sakura and the fleeing Sasuke.
Sasuke was almost at the edge of the forest when he heard Sakura run up behind him. He turned cooly, his hands still in his pockets. His eyes were half closed as if they were bored.
"What do you want?"
Sakura stopped, the tears had stopped flowing now. Naruto's ghost followed her, slightly eager yet hesitant to see what she was going to say to her precious…
"Sasuke…" Her voice quivered, holding back her rage.
'Wait… 'Sasuke' again? I thought she'd be clinging to him like no tomorrow for comfort or something.'
"How…how could you say such a thing?" Quivering emerald eyes met distant black ones.
Sasuke didn't respond, not even as much as a gesture or a grunt.
"You…"
"Bastard" Naruto muttered, as if he could be heard.
"…Bastard…" Sakura finished her voice still quivering, now her eyes were tearing again.
'Whoa…never saw that coming…'
Sasuke remained motionless.
"How could you…after all we've been through together…we've faced our toughest challenges as a team. We've grown and risked our lives for each other…we've bled for each other…and you've almost died for him…yet you can still be so cruel?"
Naruto was moved by the sadness in her words.
Sasuke wasn't.
The tears of sadness in Sakura's eyes were replaced by those of anger as she rose her voice.
"I don't get it Sasuke! He went out of his way to go get you so you wouldn't be chased down by hunter-nin. He did it without so much as a second thought, he saved your life by keeping you away from that bastard Orochimaru. All he ever did for you and me, he did it selflessly, all he wanted in return was that we be his friends. That's all he wanted! He saved your life and you still have the audacity to act like it was nothing…like he was nothing!"
Sasuke started to shift under her gaze but still remained silent.
Then Sakura did what she, Naruto, Sasuke, or anyone else in Konoha wouldn've never expected her to do.
She slapped the great Uchiha Sasuke.
The two remained motionless, caught as if in a picture of the moment right after the world seemed to end. Sasuke's head was turned slightly to the side, a red hand-print was slowly taking life. His eyes were in shock at the girl's actions. Sakura on the other hand, was standing there, her arm still outstretched, her head bowed to the ground, she was sobbing again.
"I used to think that there was more to you Sasuke…I believed with all my heart that there was something in you that was worth loving. That if I chased you long enough, you'd finally open up to me. I always hoped that there was more than just this shell that you surrounded yourself in Sasuke, this shell of hate that you got yourself trapped in. But it seems I was wrong."
She looked up into his eyes, then stepped back. Her eyes burned with loathing for the Uchiha in front of her.Her usually cheery smile was replaced by a scowl that attempted to incinerate the shadow of a human in front of her.
"There is nothing more to you that just that, an empty shell unable to feel anything. All you do is hate and act like your better than everyone, and that everyone else doesn't matter. I don't know why your like that Sasuke…but I don't care anymore."
Naruto opened his eyes wide in surprise.
Sasuke's eyes were forced to look away from the girl as he could no longer bear to look her eye to eye.
"I'm done following you Sasuke…I'm done hoping that your more than you seem. I'm done looking for your frozen heart…I am. I've already wasted too much of my time on you, you asshole. I won't waste anymore…"
She walked past him into the forest leaving an awestruck Naruto. At that moment, the incredible Uchiha Sasuke, number one in his rookie class, survivor of his murdered clan, avenger to his friends and family…
Broke.
"Do you know why I do this? Why I refuse to care about his selfish death? Why I choose not to acknowledge all the things he's done for this team…for me?"
His voice was louder than normal, almost shouting but not quite. It nearly quivered with an emotion that Naruto could not identify, the emotion was raw…and for the first time Naruto had ever heard…it was real.
Sakura continued on, she might have been listening but she just kept walking.
So Sasuke continued.
"It's because I've already seen too much blood already Sakura…I've already seen too much death. I've already lost those that were close to me and it was too much then. Everyday, it burns at me, the sadness of knowing that all I loved were taken from me and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I can't bear to feel that way anymore Sakura…I can't bear to care about his death…I can't bear to care about anyone."
Sakura stopped without turning around. Her voice was still angry, though she did not shout.
"Everyone has pain Sasuke. Grow up and face it instead of hiding form it. If you can't deal with people dying, then hang up your shuriken now."
Then she kept walking leaving a very surprised Uchiha and Uzumaki. It wasn't long before she disappeared into the forest, this time Naruto didn't follow her.
Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke when he heard a muffled thud. He turned to see Sasuke with his fist against the trunk of a nearby tree, the bark was shattered where his fist made impact.
"Naruto-kun…"
His voice was so quiet that the ghost could hardly hear it.
"Why…?"
He sunk to the ground, dragging his now injured fist along the bark on the way down, a small trail of blood marking the path. He sat on his knees, propped against the tree with his fist, staring at the roots blankly.
Now was the time to leave decided a troubled Naruto. He floated up into the sky, leaving the training site behind. The sun was high above his head.
'The Academy should be in session now'
Naruto's thoughts sounded gloomy in his head.
'I guess I'll go check on Iruka-sensei and see how he's doing.'
Author: Hey, I know that I said I wouldn't translate original techniques because of my uber bad japanese, but I really want a specific one. So if anyone knows the translation for "timeless eye" or anything similar to that, please lemme know.
And forget what I said about 6 chapters…this one was long already and I had planned to add the Iruka and Konohamaru visits too. WAAAAYYYYY too long, so I am going to end this chapter now and get on the next one once I write my Inuyasha chapter. Uh…I'm sorry for those of you who might have wanted to see Hinata chased…I got lazy and never thought of something for her yet aside from crying and running away. I have other plans for her reaction a bit later after I cover the next visits.
Oh, and the Iruka and Konohamaru visits are the last ones that I have planned for now…if you guys want me to write in some other visits, uh let me know who and I'll think about some possible things to happen during the visits. Just realize that this story is not going to have any pairings so if you want pairings, you need to let me finish this one so I can work on the sequel.
I think that's all so…
Until next update.
Choaness.