Disclaimer: Don't own crap, just writing this to bullshit with you for a
while.
Chapter 23 Dark Brown Hair and Sad Gray Eyes
I feel peace seeping into my heart, slowly replacing the fear and doubt. Tasuki's hands help by roaming over my sides, feeling my ribs beneath the soft fabric of his undershirt, making my body calm to his fingers. He only suceeds in stiring the burning inside me. The way he touches me relaxes me and excites me at the same time. He seems to have memorized me.
His lips move across my neck, over my throat, and down to my collarbone. And here he rests, trailing kisses along one side of the bone, then letting his lips hover in the dip between them before traveling up the other side. My fingers linger in his hair. I am fascinated by how soft and thick it is, yet again so different from the coarse and unruly hair of the men I have had before him. I comb through it gently, and I pull him harder to my body so that I can bury my face at his temple. He smells like rain, making it obvious that my scent has been rubbed from my skin and onto his. I breathe in slowly and exhale alluringly into his ear. I kiss his temple lightly, then kiss his earlobe. Just as always, he moans softly into my hair as a wave of shivers move over him. I hug him tightly to me, never wanting to let his body move even an inch from mine. Why can we not stay this way? His body protecting mine, my body loving his. Why must we be torn away so soon after finding each other? Why can the ways of the world never treat me fairly? Have I not suffered enough to please the gods? Do I not deserve happiness?
I move my lips away from his temple and back to his lips. They part for me without hesitation, and I take advantage of them as if I would never kiss them again. Let me die. Let me die here and now so I won't be forced to be without him. I sigh deeply in sadness when I realize my words are mute to anyone but me.
Suddenly, Tasuki is lifting my body. He sits up, resting on his knees, taking me with him and pressing me to his chest. Curious, my eyes wander over his. His mischevious grin spreads over his face and the muscles of my womanhood cramp in anticipation, starling me by their immediate and unexpected response. I no longer govern my body; he does. I smile and wrap my arms securely around his neck, pulling our faces close together. He presses his lips to mine almost forcefully, but not enough to hurt me. I am surprised, but patient. He has suddenly turned unpredictable.
"Lift your arms," he whispers onto my lips, engulfing them with the heat of his delicious breath.
I do as he commands me, exhilarated by his sudden brashness. Slowly, I raise my arms high over my head until they are stretched to their limit. I suddenly feel heat pressed above my parted knees and I gasp as it moves gently but firmly up until it lingers at the shirt hem resting on my thighs. A deep glance into Tasuki's gleaming eyes tells me that his hands are the source of the mysterious heat. He strokes the soft, sensitive skin with the outside of his fingers, teasing me, making my lust grow as he tantalizes the part of me I wish him to touch the most. Desperate to stop his teasing fingers, I try to lower my arms and take control; but he takes my wrists in his hands and raises them up again, holding them momentarily over my head, incapacitating me. Startled, my eyes question his. They are soft, yet his actions are strangely assertive. I am confused, but fascinated by his firmness in handling me. I can feel his fingers pressing into my palms, but he is still so gentle. I am exhilarated.
When he lowers his hands again, I obey him and keep my arms suspended above me. He returns his hands to my thighs; but instead of torturing me with his soft touches, he wraps one arm around my lower back and slowly trails a hand upward inside the cotton shirt, up my thigh and between my legs. The presence of his fingers on my core causes a wave of pleasure to roll over my body unexpectantly. My breath rushes violently from my lungs and I lean into Tasuki's chest heavily. I understand why he secured me with an arm around my back.
I clasp my fingers together above my head in excruciating ecstacy as his hand moves between my thighs, gently roaming over the center of me, causing noises to emenate from my throat that seem inhuman. I want to hold onto him, to brace myself. I understand now why he wants my hands restrained by my own will. He wishes to torture me, to make me long to hold him. He wants to see how far I can go.
I am slowly becoming exhausted by being forced to keep my arms suspended while he builds the pleasuring friction between my legs, his glistening eyes revealing to me how much he enjoys my predicament. I moan, the sound coming from deep in my chest; and I bend my arms at the elbows, tangling my fingers in my wet hair. I must have something to hold on to. I fear I will go mad if I can't touch him soon. Desperate to be in contact more with him, I lean harder on his chest and rest my face in the valley of his neck. His arm tightens around the small of my back and his fingers quicken between my thighs. I bite my lips to keep from screaming. My hands tremble; my body trembles. I can feel his lips on my temple, on my ear; his breath is as heavy as mine. I can feel his fingers warming the inside of my thighs as well as the firmly caressing at my woman's core. No longer able to withstand the torture of not touching him, and feeling my peak approaching swiftly, I untangle my fingers from my hair and grasp him quickly, winding my arms around his neck and back before he can protest. But even when I am pressed wholy against him, he doesn't command me to lift my arms again. For this I am thankful. He kisses my neck, causing the building sensation to quicken and intensify between my legs, where his fingers still work deligently.
I am on the brink, and I clutch him desperately as my climax is suddenly released upon my body in a massive wave. My fingernails sink unconsciously into the skin on Tasuki's shoulders, strangely heightening my pleasure as they burrow into him. The intensity ravages me like an uncontrollable storm, and I open my mouth to let out the presure that has built in my lungs. Slowly, the feeling lets my body go and I fall back to the earth--into Tasuki's gentle arms. They accept me and support my limp frame as my head leans against his shoulder. My eyes flutter and I glance at the pink marks imprinted on his shoulder, left behind by my fingernails. I run a fingertip over them and feel a soft pang of guilt, even if I did hurt him only slightly.
"Sorry," I murmer into the soft skin of his shoulder, tracing the crescent moon-shaped marks.
"It's okay," he answers, "It felt kinda good." His warm breath stirs my hair.
I smile into his shoulder, knowing a smirk is on his face. My knees are weak from kneeling on the bed, and my whole body is drained from my orgasm. I realize that Tasuki is only the second man I've ever had to do this to me, to pleasure me with his own hands. The first was my favorite customer before Tasuki came along, a young farmer named Tadashi who always carried the smell of toil and labor on his sun-darkened skin. I had often let him have me when he couldn't pay; for young farmers are poor, but still need the attentions of a woman. I had not minded sleeping with him without pay; I truly enjoyed his company. I could have been happy marrying a man like him if I was a normal woman. He was a hard worker, he spoke softly, he loved carefully, and he was kind and carefree. So much like Tasuki, save for the soft speech at some times.
I grin and blink my eyes, realizing my mind has wandered away from me. I feel Tasuki gently shake me, thinking I have fallen asleep. I sigh into his shoulder and turn my face to his.
"Are you asleep?" he asks, amused.
"No," I answer, smiling and kissing him softly.
He lays back on the bed, stretching his long legs out. By the way he sighs, his legs are obviously as cramped as mine from our kneeling position on the bed. He pulls me on top of him, resting my face close to his, allowing me to recover before we continue our lovemaking.
I lay quielty, my eyes wide and staring without really looking. My mind cannot process thoughts or images, so I meditate on myself and this man whose arms encircle me. I wonder what it will be like on the mountain. I have forgotten. I cannot remember the valley town I was born in or the dark shape of Mount Reikaku looming over it. I cannot remember my house or my father's tavern. But I do remember my mother's thick, dark brown hair and sad gray eyes, the hair and eyes that I inherited so generously. I remember my father's aged face, so much older than his true years; and the round, tanned faces of my sister and brothers. Sadly, I lost the destinctive accent of my birthplace not long after coming to the capital; perhaps this is why I long so fervently to hear the rich tones of Tasuki's voice. It is becasue I miss the true sound of my own.
My eyes wander to his. They are closed lazily but not soundly, telling me he is only dozing and not deeply asleep. I trail a hand across the smooth, warm skin of his chest and let it linger over his heart. It beats strongly beneath my palm, letting me know his vitality is anchored in his soul, not just his body. He shifts beneath me, bringing his hand up to caress my hair, which is finally beginning to dry. He combs his fingers through it gently, starting at my hairline and working downwards, tugging lightly whenever he reaches a tangle. Soon, my hair is a straight, gleaming brown river flowing down my back. I smile my thanks to him and seal my lips to his. His chest muscles clench beneath my hand in response to my mouth, telling me that my simplest gesture has as much power over him as his have over me. He can no longer lie still with me. I can feel his desire flare, and it quickly refreshes my own.
He lifts his body, taking hold of me as he rises into a sittisng position on the bed, me in his lap. My arms curl around him as he moves, but he takes my shoulders in his hands and pulls me away from him. I am confused by his actions until I feel his hands tugging on the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over my thighs and stomach. I grin, knowing what he wishes, and obediently lift my arms to the familiar position over my head as he tugs the shirt over my breasts and up my arms, and finally over my head. The shirt takes my hair with it as Tasuki pulls it off, then falls back down my back and over my shoulders in a heavy curtain. Once again I find myself naked before him, seated in his lap and waiting.
He moves to cover me quickly, never giving my body a chance to get chilled. One of his arms snake around my waist and he falls into me, gently pushing me backwards onto the bed, his other arm supporting his weight. I fall lightly on my back, my hands resting on his naked shoulders, caressing the fingernail marks that still remain. His bare chest presses against my breasts, the friction between them keeping us both warm. He buries his face in the hollow of my neck, causing shivers to travel over my skin as his hair tickles my throat and ear. He kisses along the curve of my neck and across my throat, the wetness left behind by his lips warming me. I lift a hand from his shoulder and trail my fingers delicately along his jaw line and up to his ear, where I trace its curved shape and gently fondle the gleaming blue earring dangling from his earlobe. It shimmers for a moment every time it catches the soft light of the fire, framing Tasuki's face momentarily with a glow before fading again. I brush my thumbs across his eyebrows and over his eyelids.
I could spend the entire night studying him with my hands. If I could learn the feel and shape of every part of him before he leaves in the morning, then would he really be gone? His body would be gone, but the remants of him touching my hands could keep him close for at least a while-- until he returns.
He is gentle when he touches my face, aware of the bruises and cuts that still remain from Isamu's beating. I have not seen myself tonight, so I don't know if the black eye I recieved from Shingen is still there; and if it does remain, I am certain that it was worsened by Isamu. I wonder if I do look like I imagine. If in fact I do, Tasuki doesn't act like he notices; certainly his face would give it away. He gazes at me as if I were perfect, no marks from the hands of men blemishing my face. And strangely, if the remnants of my beating do remain, I am numb to them. Perhaps it is Tasuki's hands that heal them, or his eyes, or his words.
He will save me. I know that if he can take away the pain of a beating with the warmth of his lips and the softness of his hands, he can save me from the place and the people that wish to end me.
A/N: I know, I know!!! I'm making you wait, and I'm so sorry!!! *Iseult glances nervously at the people slowly surrounding her* Now, now, calm yourselves... the next chapter is coming soon! But what will happen?? Do you really need to ask?? ^_^
Well, what about *ahem* after that? Will Tasuki really leave? Will he come back? Will Tansho be waiting for him? Will they run away together back to Mount Reikaku? Oh, so many decisions....I don't know if I can write anymore...maybe I should just let it end here. It's a good ending don't you think?
*The crowd of people surrounding Iseult goes mad with rage and advances slowly upon the poor, defenseless author who is now really scared shitless* Don't worry, I won't do that to you again; it's too cruel to even talk about. I'm so so so sorry I even mentioned it!! Please forgive me!!
*sniff sniff* Is that lemony smell getting stronger, or is it just my allergies? (Springtime in Georgia is a bitch, you know.)
Oh, and thanks to all my reviewers who helped out on the time of the trip to Hokkan. I've actually already written the chapters that take place during Tasuki's absence. I was just wanting to know if your idea of the amount of time he was gone sorta kinda matched mine. ^_^ Thanks again!!
Chapter 23 Dark Brown Hair and Sad Gray Eyes
I feel peace seeping into my heart, slowly replacing the fear and doubt. Tasuki's hands help by roaming over my sides, feeling my ribs beneath the soft fabric of his undershirt, making my body calm to his fingers. He only suceeds in stiring the burning inside me. The way he touches me relaxes me and excites me at the same time. He seems to have memorized me.
His lips move across my neck, over my throat, and down to my collarbone. And here he rests, trailing kisses along one side of the bone, then letting his lips hover in the dip between them before traveling up the other side. My fingers linger in his hair. I am fascinated by how soft and thick it is, yet again so different from the coarse and unruly hair of the men I have had before him. I comb through it gently, and I pull him harder to my body so that I can bury my face at his temple. He smells like rain, making it obvious that my scent has been rubbed from my skin and onto his. I breathe in slowly and exhale alluringly into his ear. I kiss his temple lightly, then kiss his earlobe. Just as always, he moans softly into my hair as a wave of shivers move over him. I hug him tightly to me, never wanting to let his body move even an inch from mine. Why can we not stay this way? His body protecting mine, my body loving his. Why must we be torn away so soon after finding each other? Why can the ways of the world never treat me fairly? Have I not suffered enough to please the gods? Do I not deserve happiness?
I move my lips away from his temple and back to his lips. They part for me without hesitation, and I take advantage of them as if I would never kiss them again. Let me die. Let me die here and now so I won't be forced to be without him. I sigh deeply in sadness when I realize my words are mute to anyone but me.
Suddenly, Tasuki is lifting my body. He sits up, resting on his knees, taking me with him and pressing me to his chest. Curious, my eyes wander over his. His mischevious grin spreads over his face and the muscles of my womanhood cramp in anticipation, starling me by their immediate and unexpected response. I no longer govern my body; he does. I smile and wrap my arms securely around his neck, pulling our faces close together. He presses his lips to mine almost forcefully, but not enough to hurt me. I am surprised, but patient. He has suddenly turned unpredictable.
"Lift your arms," he whispers onto my lips, engulfing them with the heat of his delicious breath.
I do as he commands me, exhilarated by his sudden brashness. Slowly, I raise my arms high over my head until they are stretched to their limit. I suddenly feel heat pressed above my parted knees and I gasp as it moves gently but firmly up until it lingers at the shirt hem resting on my thighs. A deep glance into Tasuki's gleaming eyes tells me that his hands are the source of the mysterious heat. He strokes the soft, sensitive skin with the outside of his fingers, teasing me, making my lust grow as he tantalizes the part of me I wish him to touch the most. Desperate to stop his teasing fingers, I try to lower my arms and take control; but he takes my wrists in his hands and raises them up again, holding them momentarily over my head, incapacitating me. Startled, my eyes question his. They are soft, yet his actions are strangely assertive. I am confused, but fascinated by his firmness in handling me. I can feel his fingers pressing into my palms, but he is still so gentle. I am exhilarated.
When he lowers his hands again, I obey him and keep my arms suspended above me. He returns his hands to my thighs; but instead of torturing me with his soft touches, he wraps one arm around my lower back and slowly trails a hand upward inside the cotton shirt, up my thigh and between my legs. The presence of his fingers on my core causes a wave of pleasure to roll over my body unexpectantly. My breath rushes violently from my lungs and I lean into Tasuki's chest heavily. I understand why he secured me with an arm around my back.
I clasp my fingers together above my head in excruciating ecstacy as his hand moves between my thighs, gently roaming over the center of me, causing noises to emenate from my throat that seem inhuman. I want to hold onto him, to brace myself. I understand now why he wants my hands restrained by my own will. He wishes to torture me, to make me long to hold him. He wants to see how far I can go.
I am slowly becoming exhausted by being forced to keep my arms suspended while he builds the pleasuring friction between my legs, his glistening eyes revealing to me how much he enjoys my predicament. I moan, the sound coming from deep in my chest; and I bend my arms at the elbows, tangling my fingers in my wet hair. I must have something to hold on to. I fear I will go mad if I can't touch him soon. Desperate to be in contact more with him, I lean harder on his chest and rest my face in the valley of his neck. His arm tightens around the small of my back and his fingers quicken between my thighs. I bite my lips to keep from screaming. My hands tremble; my body trembles. I can feel his lips on my temple, on my ear; his breath is as heavy as mine. I can feel his fingers warming the inside of my thighs as well as the firmly caressing at my woman's core. No longer able to withstand the torture of not touching him, and feeling my peak approaching swiftly, I untangle my fingers from my hair and grasp him quickly, winding my arms around his neck and back before he can protest. But even when I am pressed wholy against him, he doesn't command me to lift my arms again. For this I am thankful. He kisses my neck, causing the building sensation to quicken and intensify between my legs, where his fingers still work deligently.
I am on the brink, and I clutch him desperately as my climax is suddenly released upon my body in a massive wave. My fingernails sink unconsciously into the skin on Tasuki's shoulders, strangely heightening my pleasure as they burrow into him. The intensity ravages me like an uncontrollable storm, and I open my mouth to let out the presure that has built in my lungs. Slowly, the feeling lets my body go and I fall back to the earth--into Tasuki's gentle arms. They accept me and support my limp frame as my head leans against his shoulder. My eyes flutter and I glance at the pink marks imprinted on his shoulder, left behind by my fingernails. I run a fingertip over them and feel a soft pang of guilt, even if I did hurt him only slightly.
"Sorry," I murmer into the soft skin of his shoulder, tracing the crescent moon-shaped marks.
"It's okay," he answers, "It felt kinda good." His warm breath stirs my hair.
I smile into his shoulder, knowing a smirk is on his face. My knees are weak from kneeling on the bed, and my whole body is drained from my orgasm. I realize that Tasuki is only the second man I've ever had to do this to me, to pleasure me with his own hands. The first was my favorite customer before Tasuki came along, a young farmer named Tadashi who always carried the smell of toil and labor on his sun-darkened skin. I had often let him have me when he couldn't pay; for young farmers are poor, but still need the attentions of a woman. I had not minded sleeping with him without pay; I truly enjoyed his company. I could have been happy marrying a man like him if I was a normal woman. He was a hard worker, he spoke softly, he loved carefully, and he was kind and carefree. So much like Tasuki, save for the soft speech at some times.
I grin and blink my eyes, realizing my mind has wandered away from me. I feel Tasuki gently shake me, thinking I have fallen asleep. I sigh into his shoulder and turn my face to his.
"Are you asleep?" he asks, amused.
"No," I answer, smiling and kissing him softly.
He lays back on the bed, stretching his long legs out. By the way he sighs, his legs are obviously as cramped as mine from our kneeling position on the bed. He pulls me on top of him, resting my face close to his, allowing me to recover before we continue our lovemaking.
I lay quielty, my eyes wide and staring without really looking. My mind cannot process thoughts or images, so I meditate on myself and this man whose arms encircle me. I wonder what it will be like on the mountain. I have forgotten. I cannot remember the valley town I was born in or the dark shape of Mount Reikaku looming over it. I cannot remember my house or my father's tavern. But I do remember my mother's thick, dark brown hair and sad gray eyes, the hair and eyes that I inherited so generously. I remember my father's aged face, so much older than his true years; and the round, tanned faces of my sister and brothers. Sadly, I lost the destinctive accent of my birthplace not long after coming to the capital; perhaps this is why I long so fervently to hear the rich tones of Tasuki's voice. It is becasue I miss the true sound of my own.
My eyes wander to his. They are closed lazily but not soundly, telling me he is only dozing and not deeply asleep. I trail a hand across the smooth, warm skin of his chest and let it linger over his heart. It beats strongly beneath my palm, letting me know his vitality is anchored in his soul, not just his body. He shifts beneath me, bringing his hand up to caress my hair, which is finally beginning to dry. He combs his fingers through it gently, starting at my hairline and working downwards, tugging lightly whenever he reaches a tangle. Soon, my hair is a straight, gleaming brown river flowing down my back. I smile my thanks to him and seal my lips to his. His chest muscles clench beneath my hand in response to my mouth, telling me that my simplest gesture has as much power over him as his have over me. He can no longer lie still with me. I can feel his desire flare, and it quickly refreshes my own.
He lifts his body, taking hold of me as he rises into a sittisng position on the bed, me in his lap. My arms curl around him as he moves, but he takes my shoulders in his hands and pulls me away from him. I am confused by his actions until I feel his hands tugging on the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over my thighs and stomach. I grin, knowing what he wishes, and obediently lift my arms to the familiar position over my head as he tugs the shirt over my breasts and up my arms, and finally over my head. The shirt takes my hair with it as Tasuki pulls it off, then falls back down my back and over my shoulders in a heavy curtain. Once again I find myself naked before him, seated in his lap and waiting.
He moves to cover me quickly, never giving my body a chance to get chilled. One of his arms snake around my waist and he falls into me, gently pushing me backwards onto the bed, his other arm supporting his weight. I fall lightly on my back, my hands resting on his naked shoulders, caressing the fingernail marks that still remain. His bare chest presses against my breasts, the friction between them keeping us both warm. He buries his face in the hollow of my neck, causing shivers to travel over my skin as his hair tickles my throat and ear. He kisses along the curve of my neck and across my throat, the wetness left behind by his lips warming me. I lift a hand from his shoulder and trail my fingers delicately along his jaw line and up to his ear, where I trace its curved shape and gently fondle the gleaming blue earring dangling from his earlobe. It shimmers for a moment every time it catches the soft light of the fire, framing Tasuki's face momentarily with a glow before fading again. I brush my thumbs across his eyebrows and over his eyelids.
I could spend the entire night studying him with my hands. If I could learn the feel and shape of every part of him before he leaves in the morning, then would he really be gone? His body would be gone, but the remants of him touching my hands could keep him close for at least a while-- until he returns.
He is gentle when he touches my face, aware of the bruises and cuts that still remain from Isamu's beating. I have not seen myself tonight, so I don't know if the black eye I recieved from Shingen is still there; and if it does remain, I am certain that it was worsened by Isamu. I wonder if I do look like I imagine. If in fact I do, Tasuki doesn't act like he notices; certainly his face would give it away. He gazes at me as if I were perfect, no marks from the hands of men blemishing my face. And strangely, if the remnants of my beating do remain, I am numb to them. Perhaps it is Tasuki's hands that heal them, or his eyes, or his words.
He will save me. I know that if he can take away the pain of a beating with the warmth of his lips and the softness of his hands, he can save me from the place and the people that wish to end me.
A/N: I know, I know!!! I'm making you wait, and I'm so sorry!!! *Iseult glances nervously at the people slowly surrounding her* Now, now, calm yourselves... the next chapter is coming soon! But what will happen?? Do you really need to ask?? ^_^
Well, what about *ahem* after that? Will Tasuki really leave? Will he come back? Will Tansho be waiting for him? Will they run away together back to Mount Reikaku? Oh, so many decisions....I don't know if I can write anymore...maybe I should just let it end here. It's a good ending don't you think?
*The crowd of people surrounding Iseult goes mad with rage and advances slowly upon the poor, defenseless author who is now really scared shitless* Don't worry, I won't do that to you again; it's too cruel to even talk about. I'm so so so sorry I even mentioned it!! Please forgive me!!
*sniff sniff* Is that lemony smell getting stronger, or is it just my allergies? (Springtime in Georgia is a bitch, you know.)
Oh, and thanks to all my reviewers who helped out on the time of the trip to Hokkan. I've actually already written the chapters that take place during Tasuki's absence. I was just wanting to know if your idea of the amount of time he was gone sorta kinda matched mine. ^_^ Thanks again!!