Chapter 32
Seal of Suzaku
Shingen stares at Tokizo as if he is a beast sent from the bowels of hell. And he stares at me as if I am that beast's seductive and cunning consort. His dark, lifeless, cold eyes radiate dismay as Tokizo calmly clears his throat and lifts the scroll to his eye level.
"By order and decree of His Imperial Highness, Saihitei, Fourth Emperor of Konan, known also by the name of Hotohori of the Suzaku warriors, and by request of Tasuki of the Suzaku warriors, it is stated that no harm shall come upon this woman, Tansho, or upon any other woman residing within the Black Dove tavern and brothel."
I listen very carefully as Tokizo reads the emperor's decree, knowing that my life lies upon the words he is speaking. Koi clutches my hand in hers when she hears him make mention to her and the other women. Her fearful eyes turn to look at me, but I am still blind to her. My gaze is set upon Shingen once again, and I find myself reveling in the defeated aura of fear that surrounds his putrid body. He continues to stare in disbelief, but I can sense his face attempting to hide the emotions raging inside of him. I know that he is panicking inside, for never before has he been forced to protect himself by protecting his prostitutes. He knows that he is being defeated by a person he never believed could rise against him.
"Failure to conform to and obey this Imperial decree shall result in the immediate imprisonment of the perpetrator, as well as the immediate conviction of the perpetrator of insubordination of an Imperial Decree, the punishment of which is execution by way of the sword."
My blood begins to rush faster as Tokizo finishes that paragraph. I had never wished death upon my master before, but hearing the threat of it creates a powerful tidal wave inside of me. My eyes are sealed to Shingen's, daring him to show what is truly hidden beneath his moronic façade of nonchalance. I see it so clearly in his eyes. The shattering power. The dominance that he once held over me and the other women has dissipated like a dense haze around the mountains at noon. With a declaration written upon a scroll, his sway over me has collapsed in on itself and crumpled away. And it has left me in its wake, no longer terrified and uncertain of what my tomorrows hold in store for me. I have been given a chance to survive until Tasuki returns to collect me, his well- won prize after the long battles that await him in the North. He has given me power, the greatest gift a woman like myself could ever receive from anyone.
"Miss Tansho."
Tokizo's calm but assertive voice jerks me from my liberating thoughts. My eyes tear away from my pimp's unbelieving gaze and connect with Tokizo's gentle ocean-like irises. They seem to sway and ripple like the waves of the sea, calming my furious blood flow and tumultuous thoughts. I see him nod towards my chest as if telling me to retrieve something. Then, I remember the pendant that he gave to me as we stood outside the tavern. He wishes me to show the Seal to Shingen, and I quickly understand why.
I hastily dip my fingers between my breasts and grope until I make contact with the soft velvet cord. I draw it from the silk of my rumpled gown, lifting my eyes to see Shingen's reaction as I dangle the scarlet amulet in the air in front of me. His tiny eyes squint even smaller as he angles his head to study the pendant, as if being able to see it clearly could destroy any sway it may have over him. I ignore him.
"That is the Seal of Suzaku, a token of the Emperor given to Miss Tansho to further ensure her safety," Tokizo replies. But that is all he reveals to Shingen. I nod my understanding as the imperial guard catches my eye in one careful and hasty movement of his handsome face. It was purposeful. I know that by not telling Shingen just what amount of power the Seal gives me, I have earned even more protection for myself. The less he knows, the more power I still hold. And the less likely he will be to try to repossess that power after my protectors are gone.
I tuck the amulet back in its place between my breasts. I will have my heart cut out by my own hand before that Seal is taken from me. I know very well that if I lose that Seal, I have put my life in jeopardy yet again. I will have crushed all chances of my ever leaving this place alive. And as I press my palm over the warmth of the metal beneath my gown, I feel fear begin to tentatively scratch at my insides.
Tokizo turns to me and I watch in awe as he bends slowly at the waist, lowering his head below mine. His bow is one of complete submission and servitude, a sign to me that he is not merely acting out of the motions of an imperial soldier-but that he is committing his full allegiance to me. His comrade does the same, and after many long seconds, they both rise to their full height.
"Take care, Miss Tansho," Tokizo says to me, his soft eyes smiling gently at me as his face remains stoic.
And then they are gone, swallowed by the hustle and noises of the capital, returning to the majestic palace in the center of the great city, neither of them truly realizing how much hope they have left in their powerful wake.
"We should tell the others," Koi whispers to me as we both watch Shingen turn and stalk back into the tavern, his broad back tense, his hands in fists at his sides. He is furious, and both Koi and I know it. But Koi witnessed the wondrous events that just took place and knows just as well as I do that we, the women of the Black Dove, have just received an unimaginable amount of sway over our pimp. And in my case, my owner.
"Yes," I answer, my eyes never leaving Shingen's lumbering form as it disappears inside the dimly lit tavern. No words are spoken between us. He is acting as if the interaction among him, the imperial guards, and myself never even happened. But I could care less what he is allowing himself to think and believe, because I can still feel the warmth of the Seal on the thin skin of my chest.
Koi and I return to the tavern, following silently after our pimp, and keep our eyes on him as he retreats into the back and out the door leading to the latrines. He may seem humbled by what has just changed between him and I, but I know better than to let my guard down. He will fight back, just as a cornered bull will go mad with fright and fury at his disgracing state.
Let him if that is what the fool wishes to do.
I follow Koi up the stairs to the rooms of the other women. And when we gather them into my room, their hair tangled, their eyes lax with sleep and glaring dangerously at me for waking them, I cannot look Asako in the eyes. The words that we spoke to each other the night before are still heavy and sweltering upon my heart, hindering the courage needed to look at her and tell her what she must already know-that I blatantly defied her and went to my lover. And I know that she knows. Because she cannot look me in the eyes either, and I understand why.
As Koi relays the words that were spoken just moments before on the veranda of the Black Dove, Asako knows that they were spoken because of my audacity and benevolent foolishness. Because only a brazen, tender-hearted fool like myself would have the nerve to run to the gates of the Imperial palace in the middle of the night and the even greater nerve to spend the night there with a forbidden lover. And she knows that she owes me her life for the safeguard of the emperor's decree. But she also knows that I ask for nothing from her.
"Tansho," Misa's firm voice echoes inside my head for a moment before I recognize it, "Is this true?"
Her eyes are so full of hope. They shimmer and glisten in the early morning sunlight that filters through the drawn curtains of my bedroom, begging that Koi's words are true. I dip my fingers between my breasts and take hold of the smooth, brown cord, pulling the red Seal from the collar of my dress. It sways in the air between us for a moment before Misa finds the courage to touch it, to see for herself if this thing of salvation is real. And when she feels the warmth of my skin that clings to the metallic Seal, her mouth opens in a silent cry of joy. She collapses in my arms so suddenly and forcefully that I barely have time to catch her before she falls to the floor.
Okichi stares wide-eyed at me as if I were a stranger, a prophetess from another land, a demon-slayer come to rid the world of corruption and brutality. And I want to tell her not to look at me like that. I want to tell her that I am just a mad woman, an indomitable whore who dared to open more than her legs to a man. I want to tell her that I am just a woman who loves a man, and that the man I love is the one responsible for this miracle-and not me at all.
And Asako. My dear Asako. My mother and my protector. My obstacle and my confinement. My sorrow and my comfort. She is looking at me, her unearthly eyes shining with adoration. And in them I see the five long years that I have spent in this place, beneath her sheltering arms. I see her sturdy, used, ageing body standing tall and proud. I see all the things that she wishes could be atoned. And I tell her the best I can with my own eyes that I forgive her for it all. I tell her that I forgive her, and I tell her that I love her.
I watch in awe as the great whore of the Black Dove lowers her head to her hands and cradles her face in her palms. And I imagine the scars carved in her lovely face washing away as she weeps on my bed, her entire heart laid out before her for all to see and forgive.
But I forgave her long ago. And all I can do now is watch in admiration.
Replies to reviewers:
Frenchiecangal: Of course I left the last chapter at a cliffhanger! They're my best friend. ^_^
Lee Larrabee: Yep, Shingen has turned into a definite protagonist hasn't he? You and Cacat-angel kinda had the same view point concerning Shingen, so you can read her reply if you'd like a little more of my insight. ^_^
Mary: Soon you'll find out why the other women couldn't go with her to the palace! It will all unravel soon, I promise! And yes, I did graduate from high school (a Christian high school, believe it or not! ^_^)
Silence: Dude, what a kick-ass pen name! ^_^ And what I wouldn't give to be a sophomore again!!
Cacat-angel: Hey, girl!! I got your e-mail the other day and I'll write back as soon as I get a few minutes, Ok? ^_^ Thanks for all the great compliments! * Beams * And thanks even more for the little critique on the adjectives (I'll try to cut back in future chapters ^_^) And on your comment about the pendant. Yes, Hotohori did give it to Tansho, but at Tasuki's request (I guess it's just yet another way for her to express how thankful she is to him for caring so much about her).
Zerianyu: Don't be sorry! It's Ok!! And about Tasuki and the other warriors-you'll find out soon!! Have I ever revealed my storyline beforehand? ^_^
Nako-chan: These chapters are pretty short, aren't they? Don't worry, they get longer as the story progresses. ^_^
Okamiyasha: I'm actually following the anime (the manga has a few extra things going on it that I just didn't feel like messing with. Ain't I lazy? ^_^) And do you really think I'd let Tasuki die?!
Thank all of you for your great reviews and for the congratulations you gave me on my graduating!!!! I'm so happy that I'm free-until I have to pack up and move away to college for a couple of years-then I'm really free! ^_^
Seal of Suzaku
Shingen stares at Tokizo as if he is a beast sent from the bowels of hell. And he stares at me as if I am that beast's seductive and cunning consort. His dark, lifeless, cold eyes radiate dismay as Tokizo calmly clears his throat and lifts the scroll to his eye level.
"By order and decree of His Imperial Highness, Saihitei, Fourth Emperor of Konan, known also by the name of Hotohori of the Suzaku warriors, and by request of Tasuki of the Suzaku warriors, it is stated that no harm shall come upon this woman, Tansho, or upon any other woman residing within the Black Dove tavern and brothel."
I listen very carefully as Tokizo reads the emperor's decree, knowing that my life lies upon the words he is speaking. Koi clutches my hand in hers when she hears him make mention to her and the other women. Her fearful eyes turn to look at me, but I am still blind to her. My gaze is set upon Shingen once again, and I find myself reveling in the defeated aura of fear that surrounds his putrid body. He continues to stare in disbelief, but I can sense his face attempting to hide the emotions raging inside of him. I know that he is panicking inside, for never before has he been forced to protect himself by protecting his prostitutes. He knows that he is being defeated by a person he never believed could rise against him.
"Failure to conform to and obey this Imperial decree shall result in the immediate imprisonment of the perpetrator, as well as the immediate conviction of the perpetrator of insubordination of an Imperial Decree, the punishment of which is execution by way of the sword."
My blood begins to rush faster as Tokizo finishes that paragraph. I had never wished death upon my master before, but hearing the threat of it creates a powerful tidal wave inside of me. My eyes are sealed to Shingen's, daring him to show what is truly hidden beneath his moronic façade of nonchalance. I see it so clearly in his eyes. The shattering power. The dominance that he once held over me and the other women has dissipated like a dense haze around the mountains at noon. With a declaration written upon a scroll, his sway over me has collapsed in on itself and crumpled away. And it has left me in its wake, no longer terrified and uncertain of what my tomorrows hold in store for me. I have been given a chance to survive until Tasuki returns to collect me, his well- won prize after the long battles that await him in the North. He has given me power, the greatest gift a woman like myself could ever receive from anyone.
"Miss Tansho."
Tokizo's calm but assertive voice jerks me from my liberating thoughts. My eyes tear away from my pimp's unbelieving gaze and connect with Tokizo's gentle ocean-like irises. They seem to sway and ripple like the waves of the sea, calming my furious blood flow and tumultuous thoughts. I see him nod towards my chest as if telling me to retrieve something. Then, I remember the pendant that he gave to me as we stood outside the tavern. He wishes me to show the Seal to Shingen, and I quickly understand why.
I hastily dip my fingers between my breasts and grope until I make contact with the soft velvet cord. I draw it from the silk of my rumpled gown, lifting my eyes to see Shingen's reaction as I dangle the scarlet amulet in the air in front of me. His tiny eyes squint even smaller as he angles his head to study the pendant, as if being able to see it clearly could destroy any sway it may have over him. I ignore him.
"That is the Seal of Suzaku, a token of the Emperor given to Miss Tansho to further ensure her safety," Tokizo replies. But that is all he reveals to Shingen. I nod my understanding as the imperial guard catches my eye in one careful and hasty movement of his handsome face. It was purposeful. I know that by not telling Shingen just what amount of power the Seal gives me, I have earned even more protection for myself. The less he knows, the more power I still hold. And the less likely he will be to try to repossess that power after my protectors are gone.
I tuck the amulet back in its place between my breasts. I will have my heart cut out by my own hand before that Seal is taken from me. I know very well that if I lose that Seal, I have put my life in jeopardy yet again. I will have crushed all chances of my ever leaving this place alive. And as I press my palm over the warmth of the metal beneath my gown, I feel fear begin to tentatively scratch at my insides.
Tokizo turns to me and I watch in awe as he bends slowly at the waist, lowering his head below mine. His bow is one of complete submission and servitude, a sign to me that he is not merely acting out of the motions of an imperial soldier-but that he is committing his full allegiance to me. His comrade does the same, and after many long seconds, they both rise to their full height.
"Take care, Miss Tansho," Tokizo says to me, his soft eyes smiling gently at me as his face remains stoic.
And then they are gone, swallowed by the hustle and noises of the capital, returning to the majestic palace in the center of the great city, neither of them truly realizing how much hope they have left in their powerful wake.
"We should tell the others," Koi whispers to me as we both watch Shingen turn and stalk back into the tavern, his broad back tense, his hands in fists at his sides. He is furious, and both Koi and I know it. But Koi witnessed the wondrous events that just took place and knows just as well as I do that we, the women of the Black Dove, have just received an unimaginable amount of sway over our pimp. And in my case, my owner.
"Yes," I answer, my eyes never leaving Shingen's lumbering form as it disappears inside the dimly lit tavern. No words are spoken between us. He is acting as if the interaction among him, the imperial guards, and myself never even happened. But I could care less what he is allowing himself to think and believe, because I can still feel the warmth of the Seal on the thin skin of my chest.
Koi and I return to the tavern, following silently after our pimp, and keep our eyes on him as he retreats into the back and out the door leading to the latrines. He may seem humbled by what has just changed between him and I, but I know better than to let my guard down. He will fight back, just as a cornered bull will go mad with fright and fury at his disgracing state.
Let him if that is what the fool wishes to do.
I follow Koi up the stairs to the rooms of the other women. And when we gather them into my room, their hair tangled, their eyes lax with sleep and glaring dangerously at me for waking them, I cannot look Asako in the eyes. The words that we spoke to each other the night before are still heavy and sweltering upon my heart, hindering the courage needed to look at her and tell her what she must already know-that I blatantly defied her and went to my lover. And I know that she knows. Because she cannot look me in the eyes either, and I understand why.
As Koi relays the words that were spoken just moments before on the veranda of the Black Dove, Asako knows that they were spoken because of my audacity and benevolent foolishness. Because only a brazen, tender-hearted fool like myself would have the nerve to run to the gates of the Imperial palace in the middle of the night and the even greater nerve to spend the night there with a forbidden lover. And she knows that she owes me her life for the safeguard of the emperor's decree. But she also knows that I ask for nothing from her.
"Tansho," Misa's firm voice echoes inside my head for a moment before I recognize it, "Is this true?"
Her eyes are so full of hope. They shimmer and glisten in the early morning sunlight that filters through the drawn curtains of my bedroom, begging that Koi's words are true. I dip my fingers between my breasts and take hold of the smooth, brown cord, pulling the red Seal from the collar of my dress. It sways in the air between us for a moment before Misa finds the courage to touch it, to see for herself if this thing of salvation is real. And when she feels the warmth of my skin that clings to the metallic Seal, her mouth opens in a silent cry of joy. She collapses in my arms so suddenly and forcefully that I barely have time to catch her before she falls to the floor.
Okichi stares wide-eyed at me as if I were a stranger, a prophetess from another land, a demon-slayer come to rid the world of corruption and brutality. And I want to tell her not to look at me like that. I want to tell her that I am just a mad woman, an indomitable whore who dared to open more than her legs to a man. I want to tell her that I am just a woman who loves a man, and that the man I love is the one responsible for this miracle-and not me at all.
And Asako. My dear Asako. My mother and my protector. My obstacle and my confinement. My sorrow and my comfort. She is looking at me, her unearthly eyes shining with adoration. And in them I see the five long years that I have spent in this place, beneath her sheltering arms. I see her sturdy, used, ageing body standing tall and proud. I see all the things that she wishes could be atoned. And I tell her the best I can with my own eyes that I forgive her for it all. I tell her that I forgive her, and I tell her that I love her.
I watch in awe as the great whore of the Black Dove lowers her head to her hands and cradles her face in her palms. And I imagine the scars carved in her lovely face washing away as she weeps on my bed, her entire heart laid out before her for all to see and forgive.
But I forgave her long ago. And all I can do now is watch in admiration.
Replies to reviewers:
Frenchiecangal: Of course I left the last chapter at a cliffhanger! They're my best friend. ^_^
Lee Larrabee: Yep, Shingen has turned into a definite protagonist hasn't he? You and Cacat-angel kinda had the same view point concerning Shingen, so you can read her reply if you'd like a little more of my insight. ^_^
Mary: Soon you'll find out why the other women couldn't go with her to the palace! It will all unravel soon, I promise! And yes, I did graduate from high school (a Christian high school, believe it or not! ^_^)
Silence: Dude, what a kick-ass pen name! ^_^ And what I wouldn't give to be a sophomore again!!
Cacat-angel: Hey, girl!! I got your e-mail the other day and I'll write back as soon as I get a few minutes, Ok? ^_^ Thanks for all the great compliments! * Beams * And thanks even more for the little critique on the adjectives (I'll try to cut back in future chapters ^_^) And on your comment about the pendant. Yes, Hotohori did give it to Tansho, but at Tasuki's request (I guess it's just yet another way for her to express how thankful she is to him for caring so much about her).
Zerianyu: Don't be sorry! It's Ok!! And about Tasuki and the other warriors-you'll find out soon!! Have I ever revealed my storyline beforehand? ^_^
Nako-chan: These chapters are pretty short, aren't they? Don't worry, they get longer as the story progresses. ^_^
Okamiyasha: I'm actually following the anime (the manga has a few extra things going on it that I just didn't feel like messing with. Ain't I lazy? ^_^) And do you really think I'd let Tasuki die?!
Thank all of you for your great reviews and for the congratulations you gave me on my graduating!!!! I'm so happy that I'm free-until I have to pack up and move away to college for a couple of years-then I'm really free! ^_^