A/N: Hey, ya'll! Guess what, no warnings!! ^_^ That's a first, huh?
Well, maybe a small warning for the foul mouths of the whores and a little
bit of love between Tasuki and Tansho. ^_^
Chapter 42
The Changing of Lives
"I have to return to the palace tonight to continue preparations for battle," he replies, "But I'll be back tomorrow morning to collect you and the others. You must be packed and ready to leave as soon as possible. I'll have carriages with me to transport you and the other women, as well as all your belongings."
I look up at him. "And the decree?" I ask, anxiety evident in my voice.
"All I have to do is present it to Shingen, and he has no choice but to release you. Imperial guards are going to accompany me to arrest him if he dares to resist the emperor's orders," he answers before my doubt can burrow any deeper inside of me.
"It all seems so simple," I remark quietly, lowering my head.
"It's simple," Tasuki replies, "You already have your freedom, Tansho; all you have to do now is claim it." He lets a sudden grin slip onto his face, and I watch in interest as he reaches down beside my bed and pulls up a bundle of folded fabric. "I almost forgot," he replies, sitting the bundle between us on the bed, "I brought you some presents."
I smile and draw in an excited breath. "Really?" I ask, "Tasuki, you know you didn't have to."
"But I wanted to," he answers quickly, carefully unfolding the bundle of un-dyed cotton. "I bought this in Touran, the first city that we visited in Hokkan." He lowers his eyes as if remembering something, and I wonder silently to myself if this was perhaps the place where our dear friend Nuriko was killed. I don't ask though; I don't want to deepen his grief any more than it already is.
He stands next to my bed and curls his fingers around whatever is hidden inside the folded bundle of cloth, lifting it and allowing it to unfurl in front of me. I gasp and clasp my hands over my mouth to keep from shrieking in delight. Tasuki holds the most beautiful coat that I have ever seen, a perfectly tailored overcoat the color of the deepest part of the ocean. Silver fox fur lines the collar and hems of the sleeves, as well as the bottom hem. Polished silver clasps line one side of the coat.
"Tasuki!" I whisper between my fingers, "It's gorgeous!"
Obviously thrilled that I am pleased with his gift, he urges me to get up and try it on. I stand up and turn my back to him, allowing him to slip the coat onto my arms and over my shoulders. I turn around and button the silver clasps that begin at my right breast and continue on down well past my knee; the hem of the coat itself easily grazes my calf. I look up and smile broadly at him, but then change the delight on my face to teasing suspicion.
"You didn't steal it, did you?" I joke, raising a questioning eyebrow.
"Tansho!" He cries in mock chastisement, "You mean to tell me that you suspect I didn't buy this for you with my own hard-earned money-but rather stole it without a second though?"
I lift my fingers to the feather-soft fox fur lining the collar and stroke it suggestively. My bare feet take small, dainty steps forward until I'm pressed to him, my eyes gazing at his mischievously. "That's exactly what I suspect, my dear," I reply softly, "Or did you forget that you were once a bandit before you became a warrior?"
He grins and grabs me in a swift hug, pressing me to him so closely that I feel the steady, smooth beat of his heart. He leans down and grazes my cheek with his lips, his breath tickling my skin, causing me to smile sweetly. "Of course I haven't forgotten," he tells me, "I was actually thinking of the mountain when I bought this for you." He pulls away slowly and grins down at me, his little fangs gleaming in the dim light of my room. "It gets cold as hell on that damn mountain during the winter."
I giggle softly and pull him back into my arms. I've missed the touch of him so much, the warmth of his chest, the smoothness of his lips, the softness of his fingers. He's such a comforting presence. With him I feel safe and alive, two things that seem to have evaded me for years. I breathe in his scent-rain, earth, and snow-and I sigh contentedly into his shoulder.
"That's not all I brought back," he says, wrapping one arm around me to keep me close and reaching his free hand back into the partially folded bundle. He retrieves a small satin bag, its opening pulled tight by a drawstring, and places it in my waiting hands. I look up at him happily, eager to see what else my beloved had brought for me. I pull the drawstring open and reach my fingers inside. They make contact with metal, smooth and cool to the touch. My face twisted in curiosity, I pull my hand out again and gaze at the lovely golden hair clip grasped gently between my fingers. I gasp again, even louder than when I saw the beautiful azure overcoat. My eyes dart to my lover's, who's looking on in pride at choosing a piece that has obviously taken my breath away. I return my attention to the beauty of the hair clasp lying in the palm of my hand. A flawless ruby twice the size of my thumbnail, flanked on either side by smaller identical rubies, lies embedded within the front of the golden clasp. Encircling the jewels is an intricate design of grapevines and leaves.
"Tasuki," I whisper, my eyes locked on the brilliant blood-red jewels, "I shouldn't have this. This is worth more than anything I've ever owned in my life. I can't accept this." He doesn't allow me time to try to shove the hair clasp back into its satin bag. His fingers take it gently from my trembling grip and lift it to his mouth, where he delicately bites down on it to free his hands. I feel his fingers curl into my dark mahogany hair and carefully separate a section of it above my right ear. His fingers pluck the golden clasp from his teeth and slip it into my hair, where he gently presses it until it closes firmly.
"There," he says, stepping back to admire me in my attire. "You forget, Tansho. You belong to no one but yourself now, and someone like you should have a hundred of these, not just one."
He has always known the exact words to say to me to make me believe in myself, to make me understand my worth. I realize how much I have missed him and the power and tenderness of his voice. I feel so utterly safe with him that it seems perfectly logical to think nothing could ever harm me as long as I'm by his side. I lift my eyes again to look at him, but when I see his face, I know that it is time for him to leave me again. His eyes are sad and his hands move to grip my fingers tightly, telling me he has to go even though he doesn't want to. I smile to try to encourage him, to try to radiate the warmth of my soul into his.
"Thank you," I reply gently, my heart showing itself in the depth of my voice. He doesn't know that I am thanking him for both the coat and ruby hair clip, as well as returning to me and delivering me from my misery and loneliness. I turn and walk slowly to my door, knowing that he's following me, knowing that we will part again until the morning. I stop at my door, my heart heavy. His eyes linger on me when he reaches my side, and suddenly I feel myself drawn into his embrace by his strong hands pulling my shoulders. He presses his lips to mine unexpectedly, kissing me deeply and fiercely. Stunned, I make a soft sound of bewilderment before I quickly begin to familiarize again with the feel of his mouth on mine. Suddenly overcome with my own desire, I bring my stunned body to life and snake my arms around to his back. I can feel the firm touch of his hands traveling up and down my back, lingering in my hair, then slipping playfully down to my backside, making me smile into his lips. I softly rake my fingernails down his back, bearing down harder when I remember the thick fabric of his overcoat separates his bare back from my touch. He brings one of his hands to my face to caress my cheek with his fingertips before moving to cradle the nape of my neck with his palm, deepening our lustful kiss. I feel him part his lips slightly, and I'm quick to do the same, and suddenly we're kissing each other as we should be. As if we haven't seen each other for months. As if our bodies ache for the bare touch of the other's skin. As if we can hardly keep our passion from erupting and causing us to collapse on the floor of my bedroom and ravishing each other.
Suddenly, both of us begin to laugh gently. It starts with soft smiles and chuckles within pauses of our fierce kisses, but it soon escalades into fits of laughter that make us both grip each other in order to keep from doubling over. It doesn't take us long to realize why Tasuki was suddenly overcome with desire, and why both of us were suddenly overcome with the urge to break into laughter. It has been far too long since we kissed each other like lovers do, and far too long since we laughed together like friends do. Far too long. And our hearts knew and took care of it for us.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning," he whispers to me, pressing his forehead to mine affectionately.
"I'll be waiting for you," I answer, giving him one last sly smile.
I quietly open the door and peek over the banister to see if anyone is coming up the staircase. When all's clear, I motion with a tilt of my head for him to go. As quietly as he came, he treads softly down the slim hall and disappears inside the door that leads to the back of the tavern.
Once sure that he's safely gone, I retreat back inside my bedroom to think over all the information that my returned lover has given me. There is so much happening now. Konan is about to go to war. My life is about to entirely turn around after so long of seeming to be stuck deep inside a hell pit. I am in a state of shock for several minutes, simply sitting on my bed with my hands in my lap, thinking of everything waiting in the future for me. My fingers glide mindlessly over the fox fur caressing my neck and the bejeweled hair clip above my ear. I'm not really sure how much time has passed when I'm finally able to collect myself and get up from my bed. I must speak to the other women as soon as possible. Their lives are about to change right along with mine.
I slip out of the ocean-colored coat and fold it carefully inside my wardrobe, then pull the golden hair clasp from my hair and place it reverently on my vanity table with the rest of my jewelry.
I open my door and step out onto the balcony. Below is the hubbub of the tavern, hazy in a dense layer of smoke from pipes, and filled with the hoarse conversation and laughter of customers. Every now and then, the teetering giggle or loud guffaw of one of the women will break though the noise of the tavern and reach me at my vantage point on the balcony. I search through the misty smoke cloud that constantly lingers in the air and catch sight of Koi's bright golden hair, pulled back from her face and decorated with ebony pins. I wait for her to lose interest in her present client as he nudges her rudely with his elbow in her breast, earning him a cross look from her. Finally, after several moments, she rolls her eyes skyward in sheer irritation and I manage to catch her gaze. She smiles when she sees me, happy to see that I'm up and moving around. I motion with my hands for her to stay put, then somehow manage through mouthing and making more hand signals to tell her to come to my room after the tavern is empty. After what seems an eternity, she finally understands my full meaning and gets up to find the other women and relay my message. I return to my room to think over how I will explain this very delicate situation to them.
They all have ties to this place, though not as tight as mine since they are free women and have the advantage of leaving at any time they wish. But it will be difficult for them nonetheless to pack up and move from a place that has been their home and livelihood for years. I especially worry about Asako. It is possible she could decline to come with us when I relay my news to them. She feels a bond with Shingen similar to my own before his and my relationship soured after the arrival of Tasuki. But I cannot see myself spending the rest of my prime years inside a brothel, and no matter how mild my life had been before, it changed all for the better when I met Tasuki. With his help, I am about to escape the life of a whore forever, never to return. I am only seventeen, now close to my eighteenth year. I'm still young, though not pure in body and mind as most women my age. I believe that I can still have children, though I hope never again to experience the horror of losing one that had only just begun life inside me. I doubt I could bear that a second time.
I pray that my friends will be able to find lives for themselves after they are released from this hellhole. I'm sure they'll all be more than willing to accompany me to the palace, though I do expect to have to encourage Asako a bit. I sit for a moment in silence and imagine them with husbands, with children, living in a nice little house of the outskirts of the capital or a small townhouse within its walls. I see Okichi bending over a basketful of laundry, happily picking each item of clothing up and draping them from a line in her yard as her children, their pearl-colored hair blowing in the breezes, run and play around her legs. I see Koi, a baby propped on her hip with ocean-blue eyes like hers, tending carefully to a boiling pot of dumplings as her husband sneaks up behind her and playfully pecks her on the cheek. I see Misa, her deep brown hair spilling into her face as she bargains with merchants in the market, her hands on her supple hips in the stance she always takes when bargaining, her dark- haired son at her side copying her every move in jest, earning a glare from his mother. I see Asako at a laboring woman's bedside, tutoring her daughters in the ways of the midwife, showing them where to place their hands and what herbs to mix together. I know that I see only fragments of a future that could be, but the simple thought of them is enough to make a smile spread across my face.
I'm still smiling when my door creaks open and Koi's delicate face appears. "Tansho?" her soft voice replies as she takes a step into my room, "You wanted to talk to us?"
I see the others behind her, eager to get in my room and see what is so important that I couldn't wait until the tavern closes.
"Yes, come in and sit down with me for a moment. I have some news for you-" I pause, still unsure of exactly how I will relay Tasuki's wonderful news to them. Should I just tell them that they are coming with me to the palace, or should I ask if they would like to accompany me? Should I tell them about the war even though word of it has yet to reach the capital? My mind shuts down on me for a moment before Okichi's melodious voice awakens me.
"Tansho, are you still sore? Would you like a compress for your face?" she asks, looking over my face carefully to see if a bruise remains from Shingen's fist. I shake my head and thank her for worrying about me.
They seem hesitant to just sit and listen to me. Asako strides back and forth across the planked floor, her bare feet slapping the smooth wood; and Misa hovers at my bedside, unsure of whether to sit or stand; but Koi and Okichi seem quite happy to plop down beside me on my bed and tuck their feet under them.
"What's wrong?" Koi asks, almost in a whisper, "What's happened, Tansho?" The tone of her voice obviously carries worry upon it. I'm quick to place my hand on her forearm to comfort her before I begin to talk.
But Asako cuts me off before I can even open my mouth.
"It's him, isn't it?" she asks from across my bedroom, her eyes shadowed partially by her long, gray hair. "He's come back from wherever it is he went all those months ago."
I stare at her, my eyes unblinking. Did she see him coming to or from my room? How else could she know?
"Yes," I answer. I hear Koi and Okichi draw in shocked breaths, and out of the corner of my eye I see Misa cover her lips with her fingers. "How did you know, Asako?" I see no reason to try to keep it from her or the others; it is the foundation of what I'm about to tell them.
"It's been weeks-months-since I've seen you smile like there's nothing wrong in the world," she answers me. I search for a hint of disdain in her voice, but I'm both dumbfounded and joyful when I hear nothing but pure amusement. Happy amusement, not cruel. She's grinning at me, her eyes lit up from somewhere within her. "I know that you've seen him. You would never smile like that if you hadn't."
I lower my eyes to let her know that she's found me out. But her laugh makes me lift my gaze again, and I see her leaning against my door laughing heartily as if she hasn't laughed in years. "Don't' look so damn sad!" she replies, "You're such a melodramatic!"
I smile again after hearing that. I can't remember a time when Asako has laughed like this. It makes me feel as if a burden has been lifted off my bones. It makes me feel ready to tell them the news that will change our lives.
"That's why you wanted to talk to us, isn't it?" Misa asks when Asako's mirthful laughter has quieted and she has joined us at my bedside.
Once again, I see no reason to procrastinate. I nod my head and smile faintly. "There is good news and bad news, though. But isn't there always?" I reply. I get a few slight chuckles from them.
"Tasuki has told me something that is probably going to change all of our lives very suddenly and dramatically," I say bluntly. I know no other way to tell them gently. I only know the way my heart tells me. "Konan is going to war in two days."
I watch their faces go from eager to horrified, but Asako keeps her constant nonchalant demeanor about her somehow. She raises a hand to her lips in thought, as if she knew this was coming. I knit my eyebrows together, wondering what she knows.
"I've suspected this for awhile now," she remarks when she sees my inquisitive face, "Rumors fly around that tavern like bottles of sake." I nod my head in understanding. Of course a few of our customers would know about the gathered Kutou forces on Konan's borders. "Two days, you say?" she asks. I nod. "I don't understand, Tansho. The war will be all the way on the eastern borders. Our armies are huge. There is no way the Kutou forces could get to the capital. How does this affect us?"
I smile broadly before I make the next announcement. I expect a range of reactions when I relay the last part of my news, and I hope that I'm ready for them. "Tasuki has requested from the emperor that I be freed from Shingen's possession. I'm leaving tomorrow for the palace-and if you wish to, all of you have been invited by the emperor himself to come with me and live there."
Silence fills my bedroom like the thick smoke in the tavern. I believe that if I reach my hand out into the air, I'm sure I'll be able to feel it there, floating around us. Koi is the first one I hear. Her breath leaks out from her dainty lips as if she had been underwater for several minutes. She then lifts her head and looks me straight in the eye.
"The palace," she says. It's not a question; it's a statement. "We can come with you if we want to? No questions. Nothing in exchange. We can just-go with you?" The hope in her eyes is almost too much to look at full on. But I don't revert my gaze; I keep my eyes locked on hers. I smile warmly.
"You can go with me."
"The emperor said this? There's no written documents? You just took his word?" Okichi asks. Even though she seems skeptical, the hope is evident in her eyes as well.
"Tasuki has the written decree in his possession. He's bringing it tomorrow when he comes for us," I answer, making sure to us the word "us" instead of just "me". Okichi's face looses all doubt. Her eyes shine with the beginnings of her tears. She and Koi look at each other silently as if they could collapse into each other's arms.
I turn to Misa, who stands motionless by my side. Her arms are crossed and her head is lowered. "Shingen," she says quietly, "He can't keep us here. He doesn't own us-" She pauses and lifts her gaze to catch mine, and I see tears shining in her dark eyes. "But he's not going to just watch you walk away, Tansho-especially if you have us walking beside you."
I expected a bit of skepticism from them all, but the worry in Misa's voice is so heartbreaking that I have no other choice than to push myself from my bed and wrap my arms around her. She holds onto me as if I would float away from her. "He's not going to let you go, Tansho," she sobs into my shoulder, collapsing on the bed beside me. Okichi moves closer to us to gently caress our friend's back.
Misa has never been close to me, not like the others. Ever since that day that I came here five years ago, a terrified girl of twelve, I never felt much warmth from Misa. She has always been kind and thoughtful, eager to help me and comfort me just as all the others have. But she always seemed to keep her distance from me for some reason. I have always felt a presence around her like a stone wall, keeping just outside it. But now as we hold each other, I feel so much warmth seeping from her skin onto mine that I bury my face in her nut-brown hair and try to comfort myself as well as her. Finally, after five long years I have bonded with my dear Misa. All those years ago when I though my young life had ended, these women came to my aid. Asako became my mother, Koi my confidant, Okichi my wisdom, and now Misa has become my deepest comfort.
"He'll let me go, Misa," I whisper into her hair, "He has no other choice. It has been written on parchment by the Emperor of Konan himself. I belong to myself now, and no one else. I'm leaving this place for good." She lets go of me, her body trembling slightly at the sudden wake of emotion that has passed through the both of us.
"Then I will come with you," she says quietly, her small lips smiling brightly. Her eyes shine like the stars beyond my window.
"I will too," Koi says, laying her hand upon mine and squeezing my fingers. "You've been my dearest friend for five years now, and I won't watch you go anywhere without me."
I suddenly feel the heat of Okichi's smooth palm on my cheek. "You're saving us all, you realize this don't you?" she asks me gently. "I know that you had the chance to stay at the palace that night that you ran away to follow after him-after Tasuki. But you refused the emperor's offer and came back to stay with us."
I gape at her and grab her hand away from my cheek to grip in my fingers. How did she know? I never told any of them all that happened that night and the morning after. Okichi sees the confusion on my face and is quick to laugh at me and explain.
"Tokizo told me," she replies, smiling coyly, "He's a very nice young man, Tansho. I'm surprised he pursued me instead of trying to steal you away from Tasuki." I gasp and let go of her hand, earning a playful giggle from her. Is it possible that Okichi has taken Tokizo as a lover? How could this have happened without my sensing it at some point?
"How long have you been sneaking off together?!" Koi demands good- naturedly. I'm quite curious as well, and make sure to give Okichi a poke in the ribs for keeping her affair with the palace guard a secret. The little fox of a hussy!
"How long?!" Koi and I demand in unison. Okichi just gives each of us another coy smile, obviously quite amused and pleased with herself.
"Nearly two months now," she answers, pretending that it's not of much importance. "Like I said, Tansho, he's a very very nice young man!"
I grin at her and give her a playful slap on the thigh. "So I guess this means you're coming with me, too?" I ask hopefully.
"Of course! Why in hell would I pass up the chance to be around my lovely Tokizo night and day?!"
Another fit of playful laughter follows. I feel so light, so free of everything that I wonder if I'll ever be sorrowful again. My friends are coming with me. They'll be safe from harm entirely now on, and they'll be rid of the Shingen and the damned Black Dove forever. I'm almost ready to announce that they should all hurry to their rooms to pack for tomorrow when I suddenly realize that Asako is still standing at my bedside, silent and unmoving. My smile fades away like the sun at dusk. I gaze at her with knit eyebrows, wondering why she is so quiet. I expect the same answer from her. My dear Asako would not want to see me just leave her behind. I'm sure that she's coming with me. But then I hear her voice rise above the cheerful, eager conversations of the other women, and my heart freezes in my chest.
"I'm not coming with you, Tansho" she says gently, lifting her eyes to meet mine momentarily before walking to the door of my bedroom and returning to the smoke-filled air of the tavern below.
A/N: Hey there all! Well, it wasn't as long as I'd expected it to be before I posted my next chapter. Good for ya'll, huh? ^_^ I've had to come home for a couple of days to take care of some appointments and pick up some stuff I left, and I thought to myself, "Jen, you really should give your readers a break and give them a new chapter." I'm presently having trouble with the phone line and internet at my new house, so that's what's gonna hinder me for the next week or so. But I promise that I'll get back on track as soon as possible, OK?!
P.S. Thanks so much for the great, lovely reviews! ^_^ And I would really love to personally answer all of them, but I'm pressed for time. I do remember one question where one of you asked how many more chapters this story is gonna be. Well, I am presently beginning work on chapter 54, and I'm trying my damned hardest not to go over 60 (though, I originally hoped it wouldn't go over 50-but that was shot to shit.)
Thanks again! Love you all! ^_^
Chapter 42
The Changing of Lives
"I have to return to the palace tonight to continue preparations for battle," he replies, "But I'll be back tomorrow morning to collect you and the others. You must be packed and ready to leave as soon as possible. I'll have carriages with me to transport you and the other women, as well as all your belongings."
I look up at him. "And the decree?" I ask, anxiety evident in my voice.
"All I have to do is present it to Shingen, and he has no choice but to release you. Imperial guards are going to accompany me to arrest him if he dares to resist the emperor's orders," he answers before my doubt can burrow any deeper inside of me.
"It all seems so simple," I remark quietly, lowering my head.
"It's simple," Tasuki replies, "You already have your freedom, Tansho; all you have to do now is claim it." He lets a sudden grin slip onto his face, and I watch in interest as he reaches down beside my bed and pulls up a bundle of folded fabric. "I almost forgot," he replies, sitting the bundle between us on the bed, "I brought you some presents."
I smile and draw in an excited breath. "Really?" I ask, "Tasuki, you know you didn't have to."
"But I wanted to," he answers quickly, carefully unfolding the bundle of un-dyed cotton. "I bought this in Touran, the first city that we visited in Hokkan." He lowers his eyes as if remembering something, and I wonder silently to myself if this was perhaps the place where our dear friend Nuriko was killed. I don't ask though; I don't want to deepen his grief any more than it already is.
He stands next to my bed and curls his fingers around whatever is hidden inside the folded bundle of cloth, lifting it and allowing it to unfurl in front of me. I gasp and clasp my hands over my mouth to keep from shrieking in delight. Tasuki holds the most beautiful coat that I have ever seen, a perfectly tailored overcoat the color of the deepest part of the ocean. Silver fox fur lines the collar and hems of the sleeves, as well as the bottom hem. Polished silver clasps line one side of the coat.
"Tasuki!" I whisper between my fingers, "It's gorgeous!"
Obviously thrilled that I am pleased with his gift, he urges me to get up and try it on. I stand up and turn my back to him, allowing him to slip the coat onto my arms and over my shoulders. I turn around and button the silver clasps that begin at my right breast and continue on down well past my knee; the hem of the coat itself easily grazes my calf. I look up and smile broadly at him, but then change the delight on my face to teasing suspicion.
"You didn't steal it, did you?" I joke, raising a questioning eyebrow.
"Tansho!" He cries in mock chastisement, "You mean to tell me that you suspect I didn't buy this for you with my own hard-earned money-but rather stole it without a second though?"
I lift my fingers to the feather-soft fox fur lining the collar and stroke it suggestively. My bare feet take small, dainty steps forward until I'm pressed to him, my eyes gazing at his mischievously. "That's exactly what I suspect, my dear," I reply softly, "Or did you forget that you were once a bandit before you became a warrior?"
He grins and grabs me in a swift hug, pressing me to him so closely that I feel the steady, smooth beat of his heart. He leans down and grazes my cheek with his lips, his breath tickling my skin, causing me to smile sweetly. "Of course I haven't forgotten," he tells me, "I was actually thinking of the mountain when I bought this for you." He pulls away slowly and grins down at me, his little fangs gleaming in the dim light of my room. "It gets cold as hell on that damn mountain during the winter."
I giggle softly and pull him back into my arms. I've missed the touch of him so much, the warmth of his chest, the smoothness of his lips, the softness of his fingers. He's such a comforting presence. With him I feel safe and alive, two things that seem to have evaded me for years. I breathe in his scent-rain, earth, and snow-and I sigh contentedly into his shoulder.
"That's not all I brought back," he says, wrapping one arm around me to keep me close and reaching his free hand back into the partially folded bundle. He retrieves a small satin bag, its opening pulled tight by a drawstring, and places it in my waiting hands. I look up at him happily, eager to see what else my beloved had brought for me. I pull the drawstring open and reach my fingers inside. They make contact with metal, smooth and cool to the touch. My face twisted in curiosity, I pull my hand out again and gaze at the lovely golden hair clip grasped gently between my fingers. I gasp again, even louder than when I saw the beautiful azure overcoat. My eyes dart to my lover's, who's looking on in pride at choosing a piece that has obviously taken my breath away. I return my attention to the beauty of the hair clasp lying in the palm of my hand. A flawless ruby twice the size of my thumbnail, flanked on either side by smaller identical rubies, lies embedded within the front of the golden clasp. Encircling the jewels is an intricate design of grapevines and leaves.
"Tasuki," I whisper, my eyes locked on the brilliant blood-red jewels, "I shouldn't have this. This is worth more than anything I've ever owned in my life. I can't accept this." He doesn't allow me time to try to shove the hair clasp back into its satin bag. His fingers take it gently from my trembling grip and lift it to his mouth, where he delicately bites down on it to free his hands. I feel his fingers curl into my dark mahogany hair and carefully separate a section of it above my right ear. His fingers pluck the golden clasp from his teeth and slip it into my hair, where he gently presses it until it closes firmly.
"There," he says, stepping back to admire me in my attire. "You forget, Tansho. You belong to no one but yourself now, and someone like you should have a hundred of these, not just one."
He has always known the exact words to say to me to make me believe in myself, to make me understand my worth. I realize how much I have missed him and the power and tenderness of his voice. I feel so utterly safe with him that it seems perfectly logical to think nothing could ever harm me as long as I'm by his side. I lift my eyes again to look at him, but when I see his face, I know that it is time for him to leave me again. His eyes are sad and his hands move to grip my fingers tightly, telling me he has to go even though he doesn't want to. I smile to try to encourage him, to try to radiate the warmth of my soul into his.
"Thank you," I reply gently, my heart showing itself in the depth of my voice. He doesn't know that I am thanking him for both the coat and ruby hair clip, as well as returning to me and delivering me from my misery and loneliness. I turn and walk slowly to my door, knowing that he's following me, knowing that we will part again until the morning. I stop at my door, my heart heavy. His eyes linger on me when he reaches my side, and suddenly I feel myself drawn into his embrace by his strong hands pulling my shoulders. He presses his lips to mine unexpectedly, kissing me deeply and fiercely. Stunned, I make a soft sound of bewilderment before I quickly begin to familiarize again with the feel of his mouth on mine. Suddenly overcome with my own desire, I bring my stunned body to life and snake my arms around to his back. I can feel the firm touch of his hands traveling up and down my back, lingering in my hair, then slipping playfully down to my backside, making me smile into his lips. I softly rake my fingernails down his back, bearing down harder when I remember the thick fabric of his overcoat separates his bare back from my touch. He brings one of his hands to my face to caress my cheek with his fingertips before moving to cradle the nape of my neck with his palm, deepening our lustful kiss. I feel him part his lips slightly, and I'm quick to do the same, and suddenly we're kissing each other as we should be. As if we haven't seen each other for months. As if our bodies ache for the bare touch of the other's skin. As if we can hardly keep our passion from erupting and causing us to collapse on the floor of my bedroom and ravishing each other.
Suddenly, both of us begin to laugh gently. It starts with soft smiles and chuckles within pauses of our fierce kisses, but it soon escalades into fits of laughter that make us both grip each other in order to keep from doubling over. It doesn't take us long to realize why Tasuki was suddenly overcome with desire, and why both of us were suddenly overcome with the urge to break into laughter. It has been far too long since we kissed each other like lovers do, and far too long since we laughed together like friends do. Far too long. And our hearts knew and took care of it for us.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning," he whispers to me, pressing his forehead to mine affectionately.
"I'll be waiting for you," I answer, giving him one last sly smile.
I quietly open the door and peek over the banister to see if anyone is coming up the staircase. When all's clear, I motion with a tilt of my head for him to go. As quietly as he came, he treads softly down the slim hall and disappears inside the door that leads to the back of the tavern.
Once sure that he's safely gone, I retreat back inside my bedroom to think over all the information that my returned lover has given me. There is so much happening now. Konan is about to go to war. My life is about to entirely turn around after so long of seeming to be stuck deep inside a hell pit. I am in a state of shock for several minutes, simply sitting on my bed with my hands in my lap, thinking of everything waiting in the future for me. My fingers glide mindlessly over the fox fur caressing my neck and the bejeweled hair clip above my ear. I'm not really sure how much time has passed when I'm finally able to collect myself and get up from my bed. I must speak to the other women as soon as possible. Their lives are about to change right along with mine.
I slip out of the ocean-colored coat and fold it carefully inside my wardrobe, then pull the golden hair clasp from my hair and place it reverently on my vanity table with the rest of my jewelry.
I open my door and step out onto the balcony. Below is the hubbub of the tavern, hazy in a dense layer of smoke from pipes, and filled with the hoarse conversation and laughter of customers. Every now and then, the teetering giggle or loud guffaw of one of the women will break though the noise of the tavern and reach me at my vantage point on the balcony. I search through the misty smoke cloud that constantly lingers in the air and catch sight of Koi's bright golden hair, pulled back from her face and decorated with ebony pins. I wait for her to lose interest in her present client as he nudges her rudely with his elbow in her breast, earning him a cross look from her. Finally, after several moments, she rolls her eyes skyward in sheer irritation and I manage to catch her gaze. She smiles when she sees me, happy to see that I'm up and moving around. I motion with my hands for her to stay put, then somehow manage through mouthing and making more hand signals to tell her to come to my room after the tavern is empty. After what seems an eternity, she finally understands my full meaning and gets up to find the other women and relay my message. I return to my room to think over how I will explain this very delicate situation to them.
They all have ties to this place, though not as tight as mine since they are free women and have the advantage of leaving at any time they wish. But it will be difficult for them nonetheless to pack up and move from a place that has been their home and livelihood for years. I especially worry about Asako. It is possible she could decline to come with us when I relay my news to them. She feels a bond with Shingen similar to my own before his and my relationship soured after the arrival of Tasuki. But I cannot see myself spending the rest of my prime years inside a brothel, and no matter how mild my life had been before, it changed all for the better when I met Tasuki. With his help, I am about to escape the life of a whore forever, never to return. I am only seventeen, now close to my eighteenth year. I'm still young, though not pure in body and mind as most women my age. I believe that I can still have children, though I hope never again to experience the horror of losing one that had only just begun life inside me. I doubt I could bear that a second time.
I pray that my friends will be able to find lives for themselves after they are released from this hellhole. I'm sure they'll all be more than willing to accompany me to the palace, though I do expect to have to encourage Asako a bit. I sit for a moment in silence and imagine them with husbands, with children, living in a nice little house of the outskirts of the capital or a small townhouse within its walls. I see Okichi bending over a basketful of laundry, happily picking each item of clothing up and draping them from a line in her yard as her children, their pearl-colored hair blowing in the breezes, run and play around her legs. I see Koi, a baby propped on her hip with ocean-blue eyes like hers, tending carefully to a boiling pot of dumplings as her husband sneaks up behind her and playfully pecks her on the cheek. I see Misa, her deep brown hair spilling into her face as she bargains with merchants in the market, her hands on her supple hips in the stance she always takes when bargaining, her dark- haired son at her side copying her every move in jest, earning a glare from his mother. I see Asako at a laboring woman's bedside, tutoring her daughters in the ways of the midwife, showing them where to place their hands and what herbs to mix together. I know that I see only fragments of a future that could be, but the simple thought of them is enough to make a smile spread across my face.
I'm still smiling when my door creaks open and Koi's delicate face appears. "Tansho?" her soft voice replies as she takes a step into my room, "You wanted to talk to us?"
I see the others behind her, eager to get in my room and see what is so important that I couldn't wait until the tavern closes.
"Yes, come in and sit down with me for a moment. I have some news for you-" I pause, still unsure of exactly how I will relay Tasuki's wonderful news to them. Should I just tell them that they are coming with me to the palace, or should I ask if they would like to accompany me? Should I tell them about the war even though word of it has yet to reach the capital? My mind shuts down on me for a moment before Okichi's melodious voice awakens me.
"Tansho, are you still sore? Would you like a compress for your face?" she asks, looking over my face carefully to see if a bruise remains from Shingen's fist. I shake my head and thank her for worrying about me.
They seem hesitant to just sit and listen to me. Asako strides back and forth across the planked floor, her bare feet slapping the smooth wood; and Misa hovers at my bedside, unsure of whether to sit or stand; but Koi and Okichi seem quite happy to plop down beside me on my bed and tuck their feet under them.
"What's wrong?" Koi asks, almost in a whisper, "What's happened, Tansho?" The tone of her voice obviously carries worry upon it. I'm quick to place my hand on her forearm to comfort her before I begin to talk.
But Asako cuts me off before I can even open my mouth.
"It's him, isn't it?" she asks from across my bedroom, her eyes shadowed partially by her long, gray hair. "He's come back from wherever it is he went all those months ago."
I stare at her, my eyes unblinking. Did she see him coming to or from my room? How else could she know?
"Yes," I answer. I hear Koi and Okichi draw in shocked breaths, and out of the corner of my eye I see Misa cover her lips with her fingers. "How did you know, Asako?" I see no reason to try to keep it from her or the others; it is the foundation of what I'm about to tell them.
"It's been weeks-months-since I've seen you smile like there's nothing wrong in the world," she answers me. I search for a hint of disdain in her voice, but I'm both dumbfounded and joyful when I hear nothing but pure amusement. Happy amusement, not cruel. She's grinning at me, her eyes lit up from somewhere within her. "I know that you've seen him. You would never smile like that if you hadn't."
I lower my eyes to let her know that she's found me out. But her laugh makes me lift my gaze again, and I see her leaning against my door laughing heartily as if she hasn't laughed in years. "Don't' look so damn sad!" she replies, "You're such a melodramatic!"
I smile again after hearing that. I can't remember a time when Asako has laughed like this. It makes me feel as if a burden has been lifted off my bones. It makes me feel ready to tell them the news that will change our lives.
"That's why you wanted to talk to us, isn't it?" Misa asks when Asako's mirthful laughter has quieted and she has joined us at my bedside.
Once again, I see no reason to procrastinate. I nod my head and smile faintly. "There is good news and bad news, though. But isn't there always?" I reply. I get a few slight chuckles from them.
"Tasuki has told me something that is probably going to change all of our lives very suddenly and dramatically," I say bluntly. I know no other way to tell them gently. I only know the way my heart tells me. "Konan is going to war in two days."
I watch their faces go from eager to horrified, but Asako keeps her constant nonchalant demeanor about her somehow. She raises a hand to her lips in thought, as if she knew this was coming. I knit my eyebrows together, wondering what she knows.
"I've suspected this for awhile now," she remarks when she sees my inquisitive face, "Rumors fly around that tavern like bottles of sake." I nod my head in understanding. Of course a few of our customers would know about the gathered Kutou forces on Konan's borders. "Two days, you say?" she asks. I nod. "I don't understand, Tansho. The war will be all the way on the eastern borders. Our armies are huge. There is no way the Kutou forces could get to the capital. How does this affect us?"
I smile broadly before I make the next announcement. I expect a range of reactions when I relay the last part of my news, and I hope that I'm ready for them. "Tasuki has requested from the emperor that I be freed from Shingen's possession. I'm leaving tomorrow for the palace-and if you wish to, all of you have been invited by the emperor himself to come with me and live there."
Silence fills my bedroom like the thick smoke in the tavern. I believe that if I reach my hand out into the air, I'm sure I'll be able to feel it there, floating around us. Koi is the first one I hear. Her breath leaks out from her dainty lips as if she had been underwater for several minutes. She then lifts her head and looks me straight in the eye.
"The palace," she says. It's not a question; it's a statement. "We can come with you if we want to? No questions. Nothing in exchange. We can just-go with you?" The hope in her eyes is almost too much to look at full on. But I don't revert my gaze; I keep my eyes locked on hers. I smile warmly.
"You can go with me."
"The emperor said this? There's no written documents? You just took his word?" Okichi asks. Even though she seems skeptical, the hope is evident in her eyes as well.
"Tasuki has the written decree in his possession. He's bringing it tomorrow when he comes for us," I answer, making sure to us the word "us" instead of just "me". Okichi's face looses all doubt. Her eyes shine with the beginnings of her tears. She and Koi look at each other silently as if they could collapse into each other's arms.
I turn to Misa, who stands motionless by my side. Her arms are crossed and her head is lowered. "Shingen," she says quietly, "He can't keep us here. He doesn't own us-" She pauses and lifts her gaze to catch mine, and I see tears shining in her dark eyes. "But he's not going to just watch you walk away, Tansho-especially if you have us walking beside you."
I expected a bit of skepticism from them all, but the worry in Misa's voice is so heartbreaking that I have no other choice than to push myself from my bed and wrap my arms around her. She holds onto me as if I would float away from her. "He's not going to let you go, Tansho," she sobs into my shoulder, collapsing on the bed beside me. Okichi moves closer to us to gently caress our friend's back.
Misa has never been close to me, not like the others. Ever since that day that I came here five years ago, a terrified girl of twelve, I never felt much warmth from Misa. She has always been kind and thoughtful, eager to help me and comfort me just as all the others have. But she always seemed to keep her distance from me for some reason. I have always felt a presence around her like a stone wall, keeping just outside it. But now as we hold each other, I feel so much warmth seeping from her skin onto mine that I bury my face in her nut-brown hair and try to comfort myself as well as her. Finally, after five long years I have bonded with my dear Misa. All those years ago when I though my young life had ended, these women came to my aid. Asako became my mother, Koi my confidant, Okichi my wisdom, and now Misa has become my deepest comfort.
"He'll let me go, Misa," I whisper into her hair, "He has no other choice. It has been written on parchment by the Emperor of Konan himself. I belong to myself now, and no one else. I'm leaving this place for good." She lets go of me, her body trembling slightly at the sudden wake of emotion that has passed through the both of us.
"Then I will come with you," she says quietly, her small lips smiling brightly. Her eyes shine like the stars beyond my window.
"I will too," Koi says, laying her hand upon mine and squeezing my fingers. "You've been my dearest friend for five years now, and I won't watch you go anywhere without me."
I suddenly feel the heat of Okichi's smooth palm on my cheek. "You're saving us all, you realize this don't you?" she asks me gently. "I know that you had the chance to stay at the palace that night that you ran away to follow after him-after Tasuki. But you refused the emperor's offer and came back to stay with us."
I gape at her and grab her hand away from my cheek to grip in my fingers. How did she know? I never told any of them all that happened that night and the morning after. Okichi sees the confusion on my face and is quick to laugh at me and explain.
"Tokizo told me," she replies, smiling coyly, "He's a very nice young man, Tansho. I'm surprised he pursued me instead of trying to steal you away from Tasuki." I gasp and let go of her hand, earning a playful giggle from her. Is it possible that Okichi has taken Tokizo as a lover? How could this have happened without my sensing it at some point?
"How long have you been sneaking off together?!" Koi demands good- naturedly. I'm quite curious as well, and make sure to give Okichi a poke in the ribs for keeping her affair with the palace guard a secret. The little fox of a hussy!
"How long?!" Koi and I demand in unison. Okichi just gives each of us another coy smile, obviously quite amused and pleased with herself.
"Nearly two months now," she answers, pretending that it's not of much importance. "Like I said, Tansho, he's a very very nice young man!"
I grin at her and give her a playful slap on the thigh. "So I guess this means you're coming with me, too?" I ask hopefully.
"Of course! Why in hell would I pass up the chance to be around my lovely Tokizo night and day?!"
Another fit of playful laughter follows. I feel so light, so free of everything that I wonder if I'll ever be sorrowful again. My friends are coming with me. They'll be safe from harm entirely now on, and they'll be rid of the Shingen and the damned Black Dove forever. I'm almost ready to announce that they should all hurry to their rooms to pack for tomorrow when I suddenly realize that Asako is still standing at my bedside, silent and unmoving. My smile fades away like the sun at dusk. I gaze at her with knit eyebrows, wondering why she is so quiet. I expect the same answer from her. My dear Asako would not want to see me just leave her behind. I'm sure that she's coming with me. But then I hear her voice rise above the cheerful, eager conversations of the other women, and my heart freezes in my chest.
"I'm not coming with you, Tansho" she says gently, lifting her eyes to meet mine momentarily before walking to the door of my bedroom and returning to the smoke-filled air of the tavern below.
A/N: Hey there all! Well, it wasn't as long as I'd expected it to be before I posted my next chapter. Good for ya'll, huh? ^_^ I've had to come home for a couple of days to take care of some appointments and pick up some stuff I left, and I thought to myself, "Jen, you really should give your readers a break and give them a new chapter." I'm presently having trouble with the phone line and internet at my new house, so that's what's gonna hinder me for the next week or so. But I promise that I'll get back on track as soon as possible, OK?!
P.S. Thanks so much for the great, lovely reviews! ^_^ And I would really love to personally answer all of them, but I'm pressed for time. I do remember one question where one of you asked how many more chapters this story is gonna be. Well, I am presently beginning work on chapter 54, and I'm trying my damned hardest not to go over 60 (though, I originally hoped it wouldn't go over 50-but that was shot to shit.)
Thanks again! Love you all! ^_^