Yahhh, Close Your Eyes has 200 reviews! I never really thought I'd see the day. This is actually my most popular SM fanfic! Bells and whistles go off Which means I must be doing something right.
Um, by the way kiddos, I wrote this three part story of the fall of the Silver Millennium so if you have nothing better to do after you read this chapter, you could always go read 'Our Kingdom Disdain.' Don't you like self-plugging?
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.
Warning: I dare you to GUESS if there's angst in this chapter.
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Close Your Eyes
Chapter Twenty
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"Mamoru's awake." Rei told Usagi who looked up at her. "He can't move because of my ofuda…meaning he's not completely cleansed." Minako, who was sitting on the edge of the bed next to Usagi, looked a bit alarmed. Kaitou didn't say anything at all.
"Usagi-chan…you don't have to go if you aren't ready." Minako told her princess.
"I…I want to see him." Usagi said, her face attempting to show bravery but falling short. "I have to see him." Rei and Minako's faces were both doubtful.
"As I already stated, it may be that the Tsuki no Hime is the only one who can fully cleanse him." Kaitou spoke up and Usagi gave him a grateful look. Minako gave Kaitou a slightly cold look and then stood up.
"Come on, it probably is time that you saw him." Minako finally amended, offering a hand to Usagi who took it and was soon standing and followed them into the shrine, where the sacred fire was located.
He lay there, unmoving, an ofuda on his chest that warded away evil spirits but could also stop them dead in their tracks.
"The jack of hearts is still attached to his back?" Kaitou questioned Rei who nodded. "It will fall off when the memories of love come back to him."
Usagi was stuck, staring at Mamoru. She didn't know what to do at that moment. Her family was dead and here was the killer, the man she had loved in two different lifetimes.
"So you're saying I could be the most horrible person ever but if I mend my ways, you'd like me?"
"Yes." Usagi nodded.
"Suppose I kill a bunch of people." Mamoru raised his eyebrows challengingly.
"Then I would punish you!" Usagi struck a pose.
"Mamoru." Usagi put one foot in front of the other and walked towards the dark-haired young man. When she was next to him and his eyes blinked, focusing on her, she knelt down next to him.
"It's you." It was an accusation and Usagi gulped. Was she really up this? Did she really think she could do this?
"Yes…it's me." Usagi gave him a tentative smile. "It's Tsukino Usagi. You used to call me Odango Atama…just to annoy me I guess. You really got on my nerves sometimes!" Then she took a deep breath. "But then things changed and we fell in love."
"I only love Queen Beryl." Mamoru replied mechanically.
"She kidnapped you and brainwashed you." Usagi tried to explain. "I don't expect you to remember me…but…would you really forget your princess? You wanted to be with her so much…she was always there in your dreams, your only comfort. Did you forget her?"
Mamoru's brow furrowed, he was trying to push away thoughts that were making his mind feel like it was splitting in two.
"The Ginzuishou…"
"You thought the princess might be someone else…" Usagi went on. "You broke my heart to tell me that you wanted to be with her. But you still loved me and so we got to be happy and I sat there hoping the princess never came. It turned out alright in the end. I'm the princess."
"How do I know that anything you're saying is true?" Mamoru asked her in a demanding voice.
"You said we could be happy, if I let you make me happy." Usagi reminded him. "And we were…we were happy…no matter what else happens."
"Someone told me that you can't predict the future. Things don't always end up perfect."
Did I say that?
Is she telling me the truth?
And why does my head feel like it's coming apart at the seams?
"Even if you don't believe me…I…one more time…" Usagi bent over him, putting her hands on his shoulders, pressing her lips softly against his own, eyes closed. A faint glowing was seen escaping from where their lips had met.
The light became stronger and stronger until Minako found it hard to look out and held up an arm to shield the light. Mamoru started to sit up as the kiss continued and as he did, they saw the jack of hearts fall from his back and onto the floor. Mamoru was fully sitting up and Usagi pulled her lips away, opening her eyes to see a white light forming in the space where their lips had met.
"The Ginzuishou…" Usagi whispered in awe. Mamoru's eyes opened and saw it. His hand started to touch it as though transfixed by what he saw. "Mamo-chan…"
"Usako." The one word made Usagi burst into tears. The Ginzuishou flashed one last time before falling in her outstretched hands. She took one look at it and threw her arms around Mamoru, who hugged her back. "You look happy to see me. What happened?" Usagi stiffened.
"He doesn't remember?!" Minako was shocked. Usagi pulled away from Mamoru, looking deeply troubled and it was little wonder.
"Not what he did while he was brainwashed." Kaitou shook his head. "His memories will come back to him…they always come back…"
"What's going on? The last thing I remember is you turning into the princess and then…it all goes black." Mamoru frowned and his hand went up to his head and he rubbed it a few times. He looked from Usagi's saddened face to the serious expressions on the three others. "What happened?"
"Mamoru-san—" Rei began hesitantly but Usagi cut her off.
"Don't!" Usagi surprised them all by saying that. "Don't tell him…don't tell him…okay Rei?" It was tearing Usagi up inside the idea of telling Mamoru of the bad things he had done now that she finally had him back.
"Usagi-chan…demo…he has to know." Rei frowned.
"Usako…what happened?" Mamoru put a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I can't tell you Mamo-chan…I can't tell you…" Usagi spoke in a pleading voice. She didn't want to have to do this.
"Do you really think you can keep it from him?" Minako asked her seriously.
"It's better to know." Kaitou added on. Mamoru looked at him curiously.
"Who are you?" Mamoru questioned.
"It's not important." Kaitou's eyes lowered to the floor. "It's time for your princess to tell you what happened."
"I can't!" Usagi sobbed. "I can't do it."
"Usagi-chan…gomen nasai…" Rei's eyes shut in pain. She couldn't look at Usagi's big blue eyes, so full of turmoil any longer. "Mamoru-san, you were brainwashed by the Dark Kingdom." Mamoru's eyes widened in horror. "And while you were under that evil spell…you tried to get the Ginzuishou from Usagi by threatening to kill her family…but she would not cooperate with you."
"No…" Mamoru's voice was so soft and terrified that it took everything in Rei to go on.
"Her family is dead, murdered by your roses." Rei's words were the final blow. Mamoru's hand fell away from Usagi's shoulder. Kaitou's face was strangely understanding at that moment while Minako's eyes were starting to fill with tears and her lip was trembling.
"U-Usako…" Mamoru could barely speak, his throat felt tight and restricted. "I…I killed your family?"
Usagi could not even bring herself to look at him. She just nodded her head. Mamoru stood up, looking at his hands with a shocked, almost disbelieving expression.
"Mamo-chan." Usagi looked up at him and Mamoru felt as though he could not be in any more pain, causing Usagi's pain and doing something so terrible. He was worse then the cruelest villain. He suddenly turned and ran from the room, Rei and Minako had to step aside quickly so he wouldn't run into them. "Mamo-chan!" Usagi cried out after him but he ignored it and kept running.
"Rei!" Minako rounded on the violet-eyed priestess. "How could you?! How could you tell him…you knew how bad Usagi felt…how bad he would feel…" Minako was trying so hard not to cry. "I can't protect her from anything…I'm not a true guardian…" And with that she threw herself against Rei who quickly put her arms around her and hugged her comfortingly. Rei put her head against Minako's.
"You're still her guardian and she still loves you." Rei murmured into her hair. She picked up her head and looked at Kaitou. "Perhaps you could go talk to Mamoru?"
"I…yes, I suppose I could." Kaitou looked surprised by her request but he turned to leave. They had to comfort their princess. And he could not comfort Minako.
The princess…she is always first in Minako's heart…
"My path ends, without ever reaching you…that is my fate…"
That fateful day, the day he finally could reveal himself to Minako…everything had gone wrong. If he hadn't sold his soul for the power to be near her...But what else could he do? She never noticed him, not in the last life when he tried to be near her. How can a lowly soldier be near a princess? This was not a fairy tale.
Outside, he saw Mamoru, sitting on the top of the steps to the shrine. He had not run away completely, that was good. Perhaps he had not given up all his hopes of his princess forgiving him as Kaitou had abandoned his own.
I had no hope…I had no trust in you Minako-hime…
Kaitou carefully walked over and sat down to Mamoru. Mamoru turned to look at him and then back down the steps.
"Your princess needs you." Kaitou spoke in a gentle voice.
"I just wanted to protect her…how could I do something like this to her?" Mamoru sounded angry but Kaitou knew the anger was towards himself. "How could I hurt her like this?! How can she be happy with me around?"
"Do you think she can be happy without you around?" Kaitou asked, the question sending a pain into his own chest.
It's too late. You asked yourself that too late.
"I don't know." Mamoru answered and then he turned towards Kaitou. "Who are you?"
"I am Kaitou Ace but…I am also known as Adonis." Kaitou's brow furrowed. "And once, I was Danburite, the leader of the Dark Agency…part of the Dark Kingdom."
"You were part of the Dark Kingdom?!" Mamoru's eyes widened.
"Once." Kaitou's eyes were so far away and sad. "But while you were forced to such a fate, I chose that one."
"Why did you choose to be part of the Dark Kingdom?" Mamoru questioned the blonde-haired young man.
"For her." Kaitou answered softly. "I wanted to be near her…"
"Who?" Mamoru inquired.
"Minako-hime." Kaitou said the name as one might say the name of their beloved. "Fate is always against us…I am the one she is destined for…but that doesn't mean we can be together. But you," Kaitou turned his head towards him, looking him square in the eyes. "You can be with your princess and yet you want to run from her…she needs you. It is your destiny to be with her and fate is not against it. How can you run from something like that?"
Mamoru stared at the blonde-haired boy for a few moments, trying to work through what Kaitou had said to him. It all made so much sense…but to see Usagi like that…
Is it selfish to want to be with her after what I've done to her?
Her family…her entire family…
"Don't ruin what you have." Kaitou said after a little bit. "Only you can comfort your princess."
"You tell me these things…but you yourself have given up on your princess." Mamoru spoke slowly. "If you're alive and Minako is alive, why can't you be with her?"
"I betrayed her…" Kaitou looked down, his eyes shadowed by his bangs. "She can never forgive me for what I've done. Your princess is willing to forgive you."
"Aino-san doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges." Mamoru observed. "I don't think you really gave up on her…otherwise, why are you here?" Kaitou looked stunned as Mamoru stood up. "Will she be happy without me? I don't think I could really stay away from her. I can't change anything, I can't take back what I did while under that evil spell, but I can go to her…" And with that he turned and as if on cue, Usagi came out of the building and saw him.
"Mamoru!" Usagi called out to him and he looked at her as Kaitou watched. She ran towards him and stopped a foot from him.
"Usako…I don't deserve your forgiveness…" Mamoru looked down at the ground.
"It wasn't really you though." Usagi told him. "You were under a spell and you couldn't stop yourself, you didn't know what you were doing! You would never have killed them…you know what it means not to have family…"
"I did know…" Mamoru agreed slowly. "But then you became my family."
"I still am." Usagi sniffled, wiping the last few tears away from her face. "I'm still your family, Mamo-chan."
"Usako!" Mamoru pulled her into a hug and Usagi and him embraced tightly. Kaitou watched the scene, happy for the two and yet at the same time sad.
Minako-hime…
He saw her standing outside the building, looking at him before turning around and walking back inside.
I thought that with my death, you would be happy…
So why did you have tears in your eyes?
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"You know where the Dark Kingdom's hideout is?!" Ami couldn't believe it. They had finally hit on a piece of real luck. She didn't know how Kaitou knew this but she was happy to finally be putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
"D point, the North Pole." Kaitou told her.
"Then that's where we have to go." Usagi said determinedly.
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She had finally left her room. Setsuna found that thought comforting as she listened to the sound of water running out of the shower in the other room. Maybe she could convince Hotaru to go grocery shopping with her when she got out of the shower.
The water shut off a few minutes later and Hotaru emerged from the shower in her bathrobe, a towel wrapped around her head.
"Hotaru-chan?" Setsuna said, hesitating a little.
"Yes?" Hotaru turned towards her. Setsuna smiled a little, feeling somewhat reassured.
"Would you like to go grocery shopping with me after you get dressed?" Setsuna asked her.
"Hai." Hotaru replied before going back into her room to put some clothes on. A little while later, she emerged, her hair combed, her clothes on. Setsuna gathered up her purse and her shopping list and out the door they went.
Hotaru was quiet, she was usually quiet, but she was looking around with a melancholy expression. She didn't know what to do about Yaten or what to say.
He doesn't want to see me anyways…
She stepped onto the bus, her head hanging, wondering if she was ever going to feel happy again.
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Yaten walked along the sidewalk, trying to gather his thoughts together. Some part of him wanted to tell the others about what had happened but he had never been one for sharing his feelings with others. It seemed like too much to let them in. And what could they say to make it better?
He looked up, a bus lumbered past him and he saw a face looking out one of the windows that made him stop completely.
A pair of lavender eyes looked it, ones full of longing and slight disbelief that they had seen him but the bus went on and Yaten could only watch the vehicle go further and further away.
You look so sad…
Why are you so sad?
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She couldn't feel any worse, seeing him, there on the sidewalk. Part of her wanted to shout for the bus to stop and run to him but she didn't. She was too scared to face him anymore.
You sent me away…
Hotaru was following Setsuna up the front steps towards their building, grocery bags in her hands when she wondered if she could spend another day away from him. Seeing him, his green eyes so clearly focusing on her…she needed that.
She needed to see him and talk to him.
One more night was too much to bear.
"Gomen nasai Setsuna!" Hotaru dropped her grocery bags, turned away from the green-haired woman, and ran back down the steps and then turned onto the sidewalk.
"Hotaru?!" Setsuna called after her but Hotaru didn't turn back. Setsuna smiled to herself.
Find your happiness Hotaru-chan.
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Knocking on the door, Hotaru had only a few moments to try and catch her breath after running so far before Taiki answered the door. He opened his mouth to ask her a question, probably wanting to know what she was doing there but then closed his mouth and stepped aside, gesturing for Hotaru to proceed.
She ran past him, ran through the living room and into the hallway, going to Yaten's door. Her heart pounded as her hand closed on the doorknob and she twisted it, gathering all her courage together as she burst into the room.
Yaten sat straight up on his bed, staring at her in shock, his mouth opening as though he wanted to say something but he wasn't sure what to say.
"I…" Hotaru knew that this was it. This was her last chance. She couldn't be the coward this time. "I love you!" It came out so suddenly that she cringed and she put her hand on her mouth, wondering if she had just ruined it.
Maybe he doesn't love me anymore…
But I had to say it, I had to!
"I love you and I don't care if you hate me." Hotaru shook her head, looking down before looking up suddenly. "I had to tell you…I'll go…"
"Don't." The one word made Hotaru look at him as though what she had heard was too good to be true. "Don't leave me." Hotaru rushed towards him, her small body made contact with his own and he wrapped his arms around her. "Hotaru…"
"Just hold me." Hotaru pleaded with him in a murmur. "If you want to hold onto something…I want you to hold onto me."
He buried his face in her dark locks, feeling the softness of her silky hair against his face. His arms only tightened around her, so scared that it wasn't real, that if he let go, she would disappear.
"You're so beautiful…" Yaten whispered and Hotaru pulled away a little, looking up at him with her big lavender eyes full of tears. "You don't know it but you are…"
"I wanted you to know about me. I was scared to let you in…to tell you everything." Hotaru gulped. "No one is supposed to know but if you want to know me…"
"I do." Yaten looked at her curiously. What was about Hotaru that she wasn't supposed to tell him? "I…I think I should tell you something as well."
Because Kakyuu is here…the others…they'll want to go back soon.
"You're not going to believe me." Hotaru looked down and Yaten tilted her chin up with one hand.
"Try me." Yaten told her. He decided it would be more comfortable to sit back against his pillows and he moved, and then held out his arms so that Hotaru could cuddle up next to him. "I think you'll have a harder time believing me than I will of believing you."
"A long time ago…" Hotaru started her story. "There was a beautiful kingdom and it was on the Moon. There was a queen and a princess. The princess had protectors, special guardians from each planet. They were called the Sailor Senshi." Yaten froze completely, his mouth went dry. "There was one in particular; she was the Senshi of Saturn, feared because her powers could destroy a whole planet. She lived in whole life in solitude. At the end of it, she had to use her powers to destroy what was left of the Moon Kingdom. Before she died, she asked Sailor Pluto, the Senshi of Time, to find her when she was reborn and let her live with Sailor Pluto at the Gates of Time.
"Sailor Pluto did this and raised Sailor Saturn all by herself at the Gates of Time. Every once and awhile they had to go out into the world to make sure that the timeline stayed on the correct path. One time Sailor Pluto feared that the timeline wouldn't go along it's correct course unless Sailor Saturn distracted someone so that the princess from the time of Moon Kingdom could end up with her prince. But things didn't work out right and Sailor Saturn fell in love with someone else. She's supposed to go back to the Gates of Time eventually, so that Sailor Pluto doesn't have to be alone but she doesn't want to leave the person she loves." Hotaru finished her story, looking up at Yaten's stricken face. After a few moments he recovered.
"And I thought that nothing you could say would shock me…" Yaten smiled weakly. "Sailor Senshi?"
"You don't believe me." Hotaru looked downcast.
"No, I do." Yaten corrected her and Hotaru blinked in confusion. "Because…our tales are very similar."
"How?" Hotaru sat straight up, looking at him.
"I'm not from Earth. I'm from a planet faraway called Kinmokusei." Yaten told her. "I'm Sailor Star Healer, one of the protectors of the princess there, named Kakyuu. There are three of us."
"Taiki and Seiya?!" Hotaru guessed the other two.
"Kakyuu's here now as well." Yaten took a deep breath. "Kakyuu-hime was going to get married to a nobleman and Seiya was in love with her. He couldn't watch her get married to someone so he asked if we could go somewhere else, to Earth. That's why we are here."
"I didn't know there was Sailor Senshi outside our solar system…" Hotaru trailed off. Then she seemed to realize something. "Does this mean…you're going to leave?"
It was the question he was dreading the most.
"I…don't know." Yaten finally answered. "I don't really know." After that, they were both quiet, just relaxing in the other's arms.
Our duties separate us…
If we weren't destined for each other…why did we have to meet and fall in love?
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In my chapter summaries that I made up for the remaining chapters, it was actually Rei that I had written down as going to talk to Mamoru. But Kaitou did a good job! (He has to be able to do something right.) I am too hard on Kaitou, but I'm still mad at him for events in the Sailor V manga! Grrrrr. Not too many more chapters left of this story, which makes me both happy that I'm finally finishing and sad that it's almost over! But don't worry, plenty of angst left for our characters! Please review and stuff!