TITLE: Familiar Feeling
AUTHOR: Annabel
PAIRING: R/J
SPOILERS: Shouldn't be any
DISCLAIMERS: I own nothing (except the characters I've made up for this story)
RATING: PG-13 for now.
A/N: With the risk of sounding boring, I have to say, once again, that I love you guys for giving me feedback. Whether it's just one word or an in-depth analysis of what I've written, I'm so happy to receive it.
But now, here is Chapter Five for you. Enjoy!
Familiar Feeling
Chapter Five
Rory was sitting by her desk at the office, putting some papers in her bag and making sure she had everything she needed to finish an article during the weekend. She had just finished one piece and she was gonna take it to her editor before heading home.
"Thank God it's Friday!" Al's voice made her look up from her papers and she saw her friend standing on the other side of the desk. "Are you ready to go home? I though we could go and buy some food for tonight"
Lane was coming over to Rory and Al's place tonight, they were having a girls night. Originally also Alicia's best friend Emma was supposed to join them, but she'd got sick and hence it was just the three of them.
"Umm…" Rory looked at her friend pensively. "Yeah, I just have to get some papers and take this article to Phil. So... Give me ten minutes"
"Okay, sure" Al said and left Rory to finish up.
She picked a few papers from her desk and looked at them, taking a deep breath while her eyes scanned the words. She had really been caught by surprise when her editor had come to her desk earlier that day and brought her these papers. She'd gone through a million different emotions, going right from excitement to panic and desperation. After a sigh, Rory put the papers into her bag and then rubbed her face before heading to the direction of her boss's office.
"Hey, Phil" she said after she'd knocked on the door and found his boss speaking on the phone. "I've got the article here"
"Great, just leave it on the desk" he said and nodded at her with smile.
Rory put the article down on the desk and just as she was about to leave the room, she heard Phil's voice:
"And Rory, I do know that it's short notice, but think about France and let me know"
Rory turned in the doorway and smiled slightly.
"I will"
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It was around midnight when Rory opened the fourth bottle of wine and then sat down on the floor next to Lane and Al. They'd watched a movie and had some pizza earlier, now they were just concentrating on the wine.
"God, I'm exhausted" Lane said when she leaned against the pillows behind her back.
"Or just drunk" Al suggested and made Lane grin.
"You're going to Toronto next week, right?" Rory asked while she poured them all another glass of wine.
"Yeah, and I'm excited. Though Dave isn't, he's already saying that he doesn't want me to be away for two weeks"
"Ah, the joys of being in love" Al said with a smile.
"Yeah, exactly" Lane sighed. "Every time I go somewhere he starts complaining. And it's not like he never goes anywhere, he spent three weeks in Florida last summer and I said nothing about it"
"I'd be happy to have someone telling me he doesn't want to be without me for two weeks. I think it's sweet" Al words made Rory smile. "But Rory, I saw you talking with Alex today in the hallway. You sure something's not going on there?"
Alicia's words made Lane turn to Rory with a questioning face, but Rory simply shook her head with a giggle.
"Haven't I told you guys like ten million times that there's absolutely nothing going on between me and Alex?"
"Yeah, he's really not your type" Lane admitted.
"Anyway, I don't wanna talk about Alex or work" Rory said firmly. "Let's talk about something else, please"
"Yeah, I agree" Al said. "Hey, Rory, would be make us some popcorn, please?"
Rory went into the kitchen and heard the two other girls giggling about something. She put the popcorn into the microwave and then looked at the glass of wine in her hand. If she thought about the way she'd felt lately, agitated and anxious, that was nothing compared to the way she felt now. She felt like she was about to blow up, and she didn't know whether it was because she hadn't talked about her nervousness and doubts with anyone or because her doubts had now been confirmed.
The popcorn was ready and after putting it into a bowl, Rory went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle.
"The wine's just not gonna do it tonight" she said as she returned to the living room and put the bottle of vodka in the middle of the floor.
"Way to go girl!" Lane giggled and opened the bottle without wasting a minute. "You know this whole girls' night was a great idea"
"I think so, too" Rory yawned making Al nudge him not so gently.
"Hey, no yawning here! We're gonna stay up at least until three, and that's a rule no one's allowed to brake!
"Al, you see Lane drinking that vodka right there? She's gonna be past out in an hour"
"I am not!" Lane tried to protest, but Al knew that Rory was telling the truth. "It's not fair that no matter how much you two drink, you're never as drunk as I am"
"Don't worry Lane, I've seen Rory just as drunk as I've seen you" Alicia tried to comfort her with a mischievous smile. "You remember that incredible good-looking guy she had that fling with last spring? The one you were drooling all over when you saw him"
"Yeah, I remember" Lane giggled. "And you're right, Rory was so drunk she couldn't even stand on her own two feet"
"Oh, come on!" Rory protested, but didn't manage to suppress the smile on her face. "I wasn't that drunk. But the guy was good-looking"
"No, he was incredible good-looking" Lane stated determinedly. "You know, I had a small crisis with Dave when he saw me pining over that other guy"
"But he was so worth pining over" Al stated dreamily. "And I bet Rory could tell some delicious details about him…"
"No" Rory's objection was firm. "Those delicious details are only for me…"
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He stood on the sidewalk, smoking, even though Mike had told him a million times that he shouldn't smoke in front of the store. There were people coming out with bags filled with books and people going in with still empty hands. Jess put his other hand in the pocket of his jacket to escape the cold while the other held on to the cigarette.
"Those things are gonna kill you, you know"
Her voice was quiet and soft, but still it rose above all the noise surrounding him. He turned and saw her standing there, with her hands crossed before her chest and her head slightly tilted. She looked at the cigarette and then into his eyes with raised eyebrows.
"So, they keep telling me" he said and after taking one more drag, he threw the cigarette on the street.
"Maybe you should listen"
"Maybe"
They looked at each other for a minute and then he took a step toward the store.
"It's cold, let's get inside"
She followed him into the store and rubbed her hands together to warm them. Jess looked at her and smiled slightly when he said that he'd take his coat to the backroom.
"Look around, I'll come by in a minute to give you a hand"
"Sure" she smiled at him and when he walked toward the backroom he saw Molly's questioning eyes looking at him.
He shook his head to her and after taking his coat away, he returned to the store which was crowded with customers. Kathy was by the counter, Molly and Mike helping around the store. Jess went to ask Mike if they'd need him later in the afternoon and was pleased to hear that Mike was willing to give him the rest of the day off.
He looked around and saw Rory on her way up the stairs. After helping downstairs for a while, he followed her and soon found her standing by a box of books that seemed to have been neglected by other customers. He approached her slowly, taking in the sight and then suddenly she looked up at him with a huge grin on her face.
"This is great!"
"Told you so" he replied with a smirk and went to her. "What have you found?"
"Loads of stuff" she said and giggled. "Emily Dickinson, Umberto Eco, Naomi Klein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sara Teasdale, Ernest Hemingway…"
"You like Hemingway?" he asked with a grimace, even though he had to admit he was impressed with her varied taste in literature.
"I do. But apparently you don't"
"Nah, not really"
She looked away from books again and at him. Her eyes seemed to be searching his face for something, looking at him with the sort of intensity that it made him feel slightly uncomfortable.
"I loved Leonard Cohen, by the way" she said rather shyly.
"You did?" he asked quickly and offered her a smile "I thought you would. Something in particular?"
"Well…" she started a little hesitantly, but then just shrugged. "Many things"
"Huh" he nodded. "Well, when you're ready here come downstairs and I'll show some stuff I think you're gonna like"
"You're sure you have time? I mean, don't you have to… you know, do stuff around here?"
"I've the rest of the day off so I have time for you"
"You have the day off?" she looked at him with wide eyes. "Honestly, you don't have to stay here because of me"
"Who said I was staying here because of you? You have some high opinions of yourself, miss" he looked at her playfully and made her laugh. "Relax, as long as you don't plan on spending an eternity here, I don't mind staying"
"Okay" she smiled at him when he turned away.
"But I think I'll be getting hungry soon, so…" he glanced at her once more and saw her turning away with a grin on her face.
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Rory dropped the three books from the top of the pile she was holding the minute she got downstairs. Cursing to herself, she wondered how she'd be able to pick them up while still holding on to the ten other books when a girl leaned down in front of her and picked the books up.
"Thanks" Rory breathed gratefully when the girl stood up again.
"No problem, that's what I'm here for" the girl replied with a smile. "So, I guess you could use a box to put these in"
"Yeah, I would. But I'm gonna look around here downstairs first"
"Yeah, sure. I can take these books to the counter and pack them for you"
"Thanks a lot" Rory said and then carried her books to the counter. "There's so much stuff here that I want, it's just… incredible"
"Yeah, we do have some great stuff" the girl nodded as she was packing the box. "You know, I noticed you talking with Jess earlier. You two friends?"
Rory smile a bit, trying to find the appropriate way to describe what they were. Casual acquaintances? People who just kept bumping into each other?
"We've bumped into each other every now and then" she was saved by his harsh voice coming from behind her.
She turned and saw him standing there, glancing at the girl behind the counter and then looking at her with a smile.
"Come on, I've got a million things to show you"
"Okay" Rory said and when she turned to the girl again, she reached out her hand.
"I'm Molly"
"Nice to meet you. I'm Rory" they shook hands and then Rory followed Jess further away to a corner of the store with practically no other customers.
"Sorry about Molly, she can be a bit pushy sometimes"
"I thought she was nice" Rory said
"Yeah, if you consider having someone interfere in you life all the time nice, then…"
His words made Rory laugh, but then she turned her back on him and looked at the shelves. She took a deep breath, unsure of whether she wanted to smell books or him. The thought made her smile and she asked him what he'd wanted to show her.
"These right here" he said as he knelt down on the floor and pointed at the lowest shelves.
"Oh my Gosh, the history of American literature, this is a great book…" Rory kneeled next to him grabbed one of the books from the shelf. "Oh, this is… great"
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Jess put the last book in the box and then knelt down behind the counter. He took the mittens she'd forgotten earlier and placed them on top of the other box.
"My mittens!" she cried out and looked at him in surprise. "I thought I'd lost them"
"No, they were safe with me" he smirked.
"Well, I'm glad. Thanks"
He saw her look down at the two boxes on the counter, which were filled with books. He knew that there was no way she would be able to take them home by herself, and it frightened him to realise that he saw an opportunity in that. But an opportunity for what?
"You're not gonna get home with these" he stated simply and made her look up at him. "I can help you to the subway since I'm walking that way anyway"
"Really?" she asked and lifted her eyebrows. "Damn, I'm in desperate need of some coffee and I didn't even think about the getting home process"
"Look, I'm gonna go and get something to eat… Tom works nearby in a coffeeshop and…"
"Yeah, I know" she said and made Jess look at her questioningly. "I had lunch there with Lane the other day"
"Oh, right. Well, if you grab a cup of coffee there and I eat, then I'll help you get home"
She looked at him with her brow furrowed, as if she was really thinking about his words. Then she grabbed the other box and tried to lift it. She managed to get it off the counter, but in a few seconds she had to put it back.
"You really don't mind?"
"Hey, I've hung around here for two hours because of you" he pointed at her accusingly. "A while more won't kill me"
She laughed and then nodded with an approving smile.
"I'm gonna go and grab my jacket. Wait a minute"
He left her alone and went to the backroom. He took his jacket from the desk and tried to suppress the smile from his face. Just as he was about to turn and leave the room, he saw Mike and Kathy standing in the doorway with incredibly stupid looking grins on their faces.
"What?" he snapped as he eyed them suspiciously.
"I didn't think you were right, but you were, I admit it now" Mike turned to talk to Kathy who then nodded smugly.
"Look guys, I'm sort of busy"
"Yeah, you seem to be" Mike said knowingly. "You know, I didn't think this day would come"
"Have you gone mad?" Jess looked at him suspiciously, pulling his jacket on. "I really have to go"
"You don't want to leave the girl waiting, I understand"
Mike words hit him by surprise and he immediately glanced at Kathy looking irritated to say the least.
"Oh geez!" he said and shook his head in disbelief.
"What?" Kathy replied. "You should see yourself with her, Jess. It's so cute"
Jess looked at them with wide eyes, trying to figure out the exact moment when these two people had gone insane.
"Whatever" he finally mumbled and made his way out of the room.
He and Rory walked the block to "Tom's coffeeshop" slowly, since Rory could barely carry the box she was holding. When they were finally sitting in a table and Tom came to them, Rory was looking at her hands.
"I can barely feel them"
"I see you got a little excited at the sale" Tom stated to her when Jess asked for two cups of coffee and two toasts.
"I guess the lesson to be learned from this is that I shouldn't be so greedy" Rory said with a smile, and made Tom laugh.
"No, the lesson is that this is great way to get a hot guy to come home with you" Tom's words made Jess roll his eyes and Rory blushed while she giggled. "If Jess refuses to help you home with these, I'd be glad to step in" with a wink he left the table and Rory turned to look at Jess who was shaking his head to himself.
"He's a great guy" Rory said to Jess who could do nothing but admit it. "But he probably won't come home with me" she continued and tried to look disappointed about it.
"Probably not, he's already got a girlfriend. You know, the best ones get taken first"
"And by this, you're telling me I'm not one of the best" she lifted her eyebrows and smiled devilishly.
"Hey, join the club" he simply replied dryly. "But you're in the club of your own free will"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you don't exactly look like Frankenstein, you're intelligent, educated, a journalist at the New York Times"
"So?"
"Any man with half a brain would have you"
"What if I won't have them?"
"Maybe you're asking for two much"
A silence fell between them, she was looking down and he was wondering if he'd crossed some line he wasn't supposed to cross. Just as he was about to try and lighten the situation with some witty comment, she suddenly looked at him and her intense look made him close his mouth.
"Do you think..." she started with a hesitant voice, which made him stiffen in his chair with no idea of what would follow. "Do you think it's possible for some people to always ask for too much? I mean, so they're never content with what they have?"
"You mean being too ambitious?"
"Yeah, or just… Always doubting if something else than what they have could be better after all, or wanting things to be perfect and if their not…"
"It depends, I guess. I don't think perfection really exists, but…" he wasn't sure what to say, he didn't have any idea what she was talking about so it was hard to say anything that would matter. "But if someone wonders if something else could be better, isn't that just them changing their mind?"
"It's short-sighed, I think"
"In some things it's not possible to be long-sighted. People change and what they want changes with them"
"But it's not that easy. If… If they've just always wanted something, if they've always had a goal and they've had people to support them and want the same thing for them and then… Then it's right there, it's all within their reach and they forget when they started wanting it and why they started wanting it. And they don't know if they want it anymore"
Her words made their way into his head, little by little. He started to build the picture in his head, understanding dawning and realising what she meant. He saw her looking at him with a searching face and he knew she was hoping for an answer, which would make sense.
"Maybe they don't want it. Maybe they never did. Maybe it wasn't their dream in the first place, but someone else's dream" as soon as he had said the words he saw that it wasn't the answer she'd been hoping for. "Or maybe they're just afraid. It's natural to get nervous when dreams are coming true"
"Have you ever felt that way?" she asked him and made him smile.
"No, but I guess I've never had big dreams like you"
His words made her look at him silently, her face was completely unreadable and he was becoming increasingly intrigued by what she was talking about. She was just about to open her mouth, when Tom came to them with two cups of coffee and sandwiches.
"Ah, coffee" Rory sighed and brought the cup to her lips. "This is good, really good"
"I'm glad you like it" Tom said with a pleased smile and then left Rory and Jess alone again.
Jess watched her, how she sipped her coffee with her eyes closed. Suddenly she seemed real, she seemed to be a living creature with flaws, insecurities, strange habits and passions. The look in her eyes when she'd talked about… whatever it was that she'd been talking about had made him realise that the flawless and perfect girl he'd imagined her to be didn't even exist. And now he couldn't turn his eyes away from her anymore, because he wanted to know more. He wanted to know her.
She opened her eyes and put the cup on the table. She took the sandwich from the plate and looked at it like she hadn't seen food for a while. The sight made him want to chuckle and just then she looked at him and smiled.
"But hey, you're not saying that you're just dying to leave our club and become a settled man?"
He welcomed the change of subject to a lighter one and shrugged with a laugh before he took a bite of his sandwich.
A/N: I do believe that it is a scientifically proven fact that the more reviews a writer gets, the more motivated he/she is to write…:)