Author's Note: Back again for more insanity. Those suffering from
heart trouble, pregnancy, or normalcy are advised to leave now. You have
been warned.
Disclaimer: I don't own Romeo and Juliet, nor do I own any of the
characters appearing in this scene.
-----
Chapter Two
Act One
Scene One
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Sampson: Kazuma Kuwabara
Gregory: Trent Lane
Abraham: Shimbo
Balthasar: Jesse
Benvolio: Miroku
Tybalt: Kouga
First Citizen: Excel Excel
Capulet: Jake Morgendorffer
Lady Capulet: Helen Morgendorffer
Montague: InuYasha
Lady Montague: Kagome
Prince of Verona: Kurama
Romeo: Yusuke Urameshi
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Setting: Verona. A public place.
-----
"Damn Montague punks," Kuwabara grumbled, kicking
at a rock as he walked down the street.
"Mm," Trent replied, staring off into space blankly. It
was obvious that he wasn't with his friend- not mentally, anyway.
"If they so much's set foot on our turf again, I'll-" Kuwabara
stopped abruptly, noticing two figures headed their way. "Damnit!
They think they can just walk on in here?!" He said through clenched
teeth, gripping his spirit sword tightly.
Trent shrugged and watched with mild interest, still not getting
why this situation was important at all, when it had nothing to do with music,
food, or, for that matter, mozzarella cheese.
"Don't just stand there," Kuwabara snapped in annoyance.
"We gotta fight 'em!"
"Just ignore them, man," Trent said casually, a laid-back
expression on his face.
"Like hell!" Kuwabara said loudly, just as Shimbo and Jesse
were within hearing rage.
The punk narrowed his eyes and proceeded to direct a vile hand
gesture at the two, involving one of his fingers. Don't do this at home,
children.
Shimbo and Jesse approached them, Shimbo looking annoyed,
and Jesse with an expression rather like Trent's on his face.
"Did you just flip us off?" Shimbo demanded.
"You got a problem with that, prettyboy?" Kuwabara shouted,
grinning menacingly. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"
"Dude," Jesse said blankly.
"Yeah," Trent agreed.
Shimbo glared at Kuwabara. "Look, I don't know what your
problem with me is- As a matter of fact, I don't even know who you
are. I'm just walking here, so if you will please excuse me-"
"What's the matter, prettyboy?" Kuwabara snapped, his eyes
gleaming. "Afraid to stand and fight?"
Shimbo looked at him as if he was an insect that he would very
much like to squash. "What is your problem?" He asked, now getting
very pissed off. "Do you want a fight? Because I'll fight you, right here,
if you don't shut your mouth."
"You got it, punk!" Kuwabara snapped.
The two glared at eachother and advanced, putting their fists up.
"You Montagues are all the same," Kuwabara snapped.
Shimbo just glared at him, pretending not to hear as he observed
his opponent carefully, his eyes scanning every inch of his body to determine
possible weaknesses.
"Hey, man," Trent said, his voice still calm.
"Hey," Jesse replied.
"You wanna go get some pizza or something?" Trent asked casually.
"DAMN IT, MONTAGUE!!" Kuwabara and Shimbo rolled by,
wrestling furiously. They were like a tangle of bodies now, from which
frequent cries of pain and fury could be heard.
"Sure," Jesse shrugged, looking at the two on the ground blankly.
"Cool," Trent said, walking off in the opposite direction.
"Yeah," Jesse agreed, looking at Shimbo and Kuwabara one more
time, then shrugging and following Trent at a casual walk.
"Trent! Back me up here!" Kuwabara shouted angrily, but, getting
no answer, returned to the fight. The shouts and screams of the two filled
the night air, undisturbed, until-
"Part, fools! Part! Stop this madness." Miroku came striding in, an
annoyed look on his face, and proceeded to hit the two over their heads with
his staff.
Kouga walked in from the other direction, a confident smirk on his
face. "Let the fools fight. Your argument is with me."
Miroku sighed. "I am trying to keep the peace," He stated calmly.
"If you would but help me-"
"You say peace, but you draw your weapon against a man," Kouga
snapped. "I hate that word, just like I hate Montagues, and I hate you!"
He lunged at the monk furiously, baring his teeth and extending his
claws. Miroku narrowed his eyes and raised his right hand, ready to open
the wind tunnel.
A few citizens had, by now, heard the sounds of fighting and wandered
over to watch, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. Excel detached herself from
the crowd, stepping dangerously close to watch.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, pumping her
fists in the air and grinning from ear to ear.
Jake and Helen Morgendorffer also emerged from the crowd, Helen
with a look of annoyance on her face, and Jake nearly exploding from rage
as he shouted to his wife.
"Damn kids!" He yelled, his eyes bulging. "Helen! Get my sword!"
"Now, Jakey," She crooned. "Don't you think this is enough excitement
for one night? You remember what the doctor said-"
"Oh, sure," Jake snapped, his face now beginning to turn red. "No
more excitement for poor Jakey. Just sit down and rot for the rest of eternity,
why don't you?! Defend your family's honor? Oh, no, not for poor Jakey..."
Helen sighed and shook her head, patting her husband on the arm.
At the other end of the crowd, Kagome Higurashi was trying, and
failing, to restrain a certain hanyou.
"Damnit!" InuYasha cursed. "I'm gonna kill that bastard!"
"Calm down, InuYasha!" Kagome cried.
InuYasha shoved her away and stamped off toward Jake, growling
menacingly.
"SIT."
WHAM.
The sudden noise of InuYasha slamming face first into the ground
was enough to quiet them all... For now.
"Stop, stop, stop!" Came a cry from outside the crowd. They all
turned to face an annoyed Kurama.
"What do you think you're doing?" He demanded, his usually calm
voice containing a tone of fury.
His attendants proceeded to separate those who were fighting, and
attempt to part the crowd. The citizens left reluctantly, Excel still chanting
"Fight, fight, fight," at the top of her lungs, oblivious to the strange looks
she was getting.
"Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
Profaners of this neighbor-stained steel,
Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts,
That quench the fire of your pernicious rage-"
"Cut the crap, Kurama," Kuwabara snapped, nursing a black eye
and glaring at Shimbo.
"Very well," Said Kurama, looking slightly peeved. "I will 'cut
the crap' as you say. If you can't settle your differences and end this
madness, your lives will be the price you pay."
He received several blank looks from attendants, Capulets, and
Montagues alike.
The kitsune sighed, resigned, and said "If you don't stop fighting,
you die."
This was met with cries of "What?!" "What the hell, Kurama?!"
and other such things. Kurama left without a backwards glance, trying,
and failing, to keep a straight face.
Helen stared after him for a moment in surprise, then sighed and
dragged a still furious Jake away towards the Morgendorffer household.
"Come on, Jakey."
"I'm not finished with you yet!" Jake yelled over his shoulder,
reluctantly allowing his wife to drag him away. "You bastard!! -- Gah!
I can't feel my face!"
Shimbo and Kuwabara glared at eachother one last time, then went
their separate ways, muttering curses under their breath.
InuYasha, Kagome, and Miroku watched blankly, blinking in
confusion.
"Keh!" InuYasha grumbled, then turned back to Miroku. "Oy!
Lech!" He snapped. "Who started this crap?"
"The two fools were fighting when I arrived," Miroku replied,
calm again. "Kouga came at me when I tried to separate them."
Kagome sighed. "Was Yusuke in the testosterone-fest?"
"I have not seen Yusuke since this morning, Kagome-sama."
InuYasha snorted. "He's always mopin' around. Keh! Stupid
kid."
"Do you know why?" Miroku inquired.
InuYasha shrugged.
"Miroku, do you think you could try and find out what's the matter
with him?" Kagome asked, shooting InuYasha a dirty look.
"Here he comes," Miroku replied politely. "I will ask. Step aside,
if you please."
"Good riddance," InuYasha muttered as he turned and followed
his mate to their house, cringing when she gave him another icy glare.
Miroku waited for Yusuke to notice him, then stepped forward,
nodding his head politely. "Yusuke-kun," He said.
"Not now," Yusuke said sadly, shuffling his feet and walking on.
"I got no time."
"May I ask what is the matter?" Miroku inquired curiously.
"Keiko dumped me," He said bluntly, looking down at the ground.
"Ah, yes," Miroku said softly. "The fair sex is sweet, yet cruel,
in her ways. Well, how far had you gotten?"
"Huh?" Yusuke said, surprised.
"You know," Miroku continued calmly. "Had you made love
to her?"
"Wha-NO!" Yusuke shouted, enraged, blushing furiously. "Geez!
What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"I was just wondering."
"Whatever," Snorted Yusuke, annoyed. "The fact is, she dumped
me, so feel free to laugh your damn head off."
"I would not laugh," Miroku said solemnly. "It saddens me to
see you this way, cousin. Come- The tea house up the street has gotten
some new girls. That should cheer you up."
"No!" Yusuke snapped. "I'm never gonna get over her, so I may
as well just join the church and take a vow of celibacy!"
Miroku's eyes widened at the thought. "So it was serious! Well,
don't resort to that, I beg you! Come. I'll bet you that within two days,
you'll be in love with some other fair maid."
"How much?"