Part Two - Duo
Another night, another show, and tonight I treated myself to The Backstreet afterwards, the hot, new club for up-and-comming acts. It was becoming all the rage, where anyone who was anyone wanted to be seen, and I delighted in being seen. I opened the door just enough to slip inside. While I paused to let my eyes adjust, the life of the room washed over me. People moved and flowed through the room in a wave of sound and passion, as the band drove it all with an unseen backbeat. I hummed with pleasure, drawing energy from the crowd like some parasitic vampire. The irony always amused me, Shinigami taking life and through some synergy feeding it back again. With a grin, I moved into the chaos.
I was delighted that the first person I saw was Hilde. We had met during the war, and worked together for a short time afterward at a salvage business. There were far too many periods of isolation for me to really enjoy it.
During one of our lunch meetings Quatre and I had a wickedly good time picking out alternate jobs for our friends, and then he told me he'd always thought I needed a job where I could spout random nonsense for hours. As soon as I said the word DJ something changed. You ever have one of those moments where everything just falls into place? Yeah, it was like that.
I'd dated Hilde too, after the show became successful. She had enough branches to incorporate by that time, she'd always been smart. I'd dated her no more or less than anyone else. I'd learned to be very careful with my reputation by then. I was usually linked in a series of romantic liaisons to some woman who needed publicity. There was never any real emotion behind it, each of us got what we needed.
"Duo!" Hilde greeted me with genuine happiness. Even though we only kept in touch haphazardly, we still enjoy each other's company. "I didn't know you were going to be here! What a happy surprise."
I kissed her cheek, then slid my arm around her waist and pulled her to stand at my side. "Hilde! You're looking good tonight." In unspoken agreement, we went to perform the obligatory social rounds. This was my element, and tonight it seemed I could do no wrong. The jokes were funny, the charm was working perfectly and Hilde even asked if they bottled my 'charismatic energy'.
Finally, we settled at a table barely large enough for our drinks. We talked as best we could over the music, sharing old times and new gossip until the band announced their last song.
"They're not bad," I judged, "What are they called?"
Hilde thought a moment. "Perfecting the Image."
I couldn't help it. The laughter had to spill over. "Perfecting the Image? You've got to be kidding me!"
"No, they're new but they're really taking off." She looked at me in puzzlement as my laughter faded. "Duo?"
In the space of a breath and a heartbeat, the laughter melted into a painful sadness.
"Sorry," I said, not even attempting a smile. "Just remembering a joke with an old friend." Even to Hilde I couldn't say his name.
I was always joking about band names during the war. Any turn of phrase that struck my fancy was fair game, and not one of the pilots escaped being cast in my little fantasy band. One day Heero had been trying to show me a very old vid feed and the words PERFECTING THE IMAGE had appeared on the screen. Really, the joke was inevitable.
And here they were, a real band. Of course they didn't have Heero on lead guitar, Wufei beating the drums with Trowa holding down bass guitar, my incredible vocals and Quatre playing keys and tracking every other instrument known to man, but they there they were. Astonishing.
What was even more astonishing was the fact that this was the first time I'd thought of Heero in awhile. I really could go great chunks of time without thinking of him. Days, even. But somehow, sooner or later, I'd end up wondering what Heero would think, or do, or say.
"Duo?" Hilde repeated, concerned.
I smiled and jumped up, dismissing the memory. The DJ had started the music and a little physical activity would help me loose my thoughts. "C'mon. Let's dance." I could see the relief in her eyes as she let me lead her to the dance floor, laughing.
I was getting drinks after that set when disaster struck again. Crowded against the sticky bar waiting for our order the opening notes of a very old song froze my blood. I hoped fate was having her little laugh at me because I didn't think karma worked that fast.
I worked with music, right? So it was only natural that I had a song to represent everyone I knew. Some people knew their songs, some didn't. They were mostly pre-colony, and some of them could get me killed if their 'owner' found out. I still count it as one of my greatest triumphs that I'm still breathing after playing 'Puff the Magic Dragon' for Wufei. Trowa was quietly amused at his, and I was still saving Quatre's to trump him at lunch some day.
I would never have been suicidal enough to tell Heero about this one, though. The drinks were delivered as the opening lines began. I'm not looking forward to the night I'll spend thinking of you when you're not here.
Pushing past the suddenly stifling crowd, I took the drinks back to the table. I tried making small talk, but the music seemed to flood the room, making it hard to breathe. Hilde tried her best, but finally I bowed to the obvious.
"I'm sorry, I'm not really feeling well." No lie there. "I'm gonna take off now. Maybe we'll catch up with each other later." I gave her a quick kiss and a longer hug. She sighed dramatically, then smiled.
"Take care of yourself, Duo. Stay safe."
I decided to walk home, the infuriating song still playing in my head. The night air was cool, the darkness creeping along my skin like the shadows of a kiss. Tonight I desperately needed the comfort of the place I considered my own. The crisp smell of autumn leaves beckoned as I turned into the small lane of apartment blocks. The leaves crunched under my feet like dried memories suspended in the timeless beauty of death.
The three stairs up to my private flat were measured in silence, practicing skills I was careful not to lose, no matter what my public occupation. As a public personality, I had an apartment or two, but this was my sanctuary. No one except Quatre knew the address. I didn't come here often, just when I needed some seclusion and privacy. When I needed to run and hide, like tonight.
I left the lights off as I entered, moving through the darkness to the fridge. Snagging out a cool bottle of water I sat on the couch and tried not to feel anything. Thoughts, memories, emotions all swirled around me to the damnable song. Finally, I gave up resisting and got undressed, throwing myself across the bed. I licked my lips and moved my hand to my waiting erection.
Resting deep, you don't know what you give me I keep for these moments alone.
It had started as a challenge. Could Death move more silently than the Perfect Soldier could sense? I'd stalked Heero day and night, the only truce being while we were carrying out a mission. The unofficial score had been almost even when I discovered that I could ghost into Heero's room without waking him shortly after he fell asleep. Of course, I sometimes got caught leaving, but not always.
There was an odd sense of vulnerability about Heero when he was asleep, although I was mortally certain I would find out just how much an illusion that was if I tried anything. Sometimes I'd stay an hour, sometimes most of the night watching him sleep.
My body shook as I slowly stroked myself. Memories rode fantasy, twisting through a slowly rising wave of desire. I finally came with a long exhalation, carried through pleasure to pain and beyond, a sensation so intense there were no words to describe it. That too was inevitable when I fantasized about Heero.
With a sigh, I wiped my hands on the blanket and slid into bed. I closed my eyes with a familiar mixture of resignation, shame and weary longing.
The chorus followed me down into sleep. Close your eyes I want to ride the skies in my sweet dreams, close your eyes I want to see you tonight in my sweet dreams.
Another night, another show, and tonight I treated myself to The Backstreet afterwards, the hot, new club for up-and-comming acts. It was becoming all the rage, where anyone who was anyone wanted to be seen, and I delighted in being seen. I opened the door just enough to slip inside. While I paused to let my eyes adjust, the life of the room washed over me. People moved and flowed through the room in a wave of sound and passion, as the band drove it all with an unseen backbeat. I hummed with pleasure, drawing energy from the crowd like some parasitic vampire. The irony always amused me, Shinigami taking life and through some synergy feeding it back again. With a grin, I moved into the chaos.
I was delighted that the first person I saw was Hilde. We had met during the war, and worked together for a short time afterward at a salvage business. There were far too many periods of isolation for me to really enjoy it.
During one of our lunch meetings Quatre and I had a wickedly good time picking out alternate jobs for our friends, and then he told me he'd always thought I needed a job where I could spout random nonsense for hours. As soon as I said the word DJ something changed. You ever have one of those moments where everything just falls into place? Yeah, it was like that.
I'd dated Hilde too, after the show became successful. She had enough branches to incorporate by that time, she'd always been smart. I'd dated her no more or less than anyone else. I'd learned to be very careful with my reputation by then. I was usually linked in a series of romantic liaisons to some woman who needed publicity. There was never any real emotion behind it, each of us got what we needed.
"Duo!" Hilde greeted me with genuine happiness. Even though we only kept in touch haphazardly, we still enjoy each other's company. "I didn't know you were going to be here! What a happy surprise."
I kissed her cheek, then slid my arm around her waist and pulled her to stand at my side. "Hilde! You're looking good tonight." In unspoken agreement, we went to perform the obligatory social rounds. This was my element, and tonight it seemed I could do no wrong. The jokes were funny, the charm was working perfectly and Hilde even asked if they bottled my 'charismatic energy'.
Finally, we settled at a table barely large enough for our drinks. We talked as best we could over the music, sharing old times and new gossip until the band announced their last song.
"They're not bad," I judged, "What are they called?"
Hilde thought a moment. "Perfecting the Image."
I couldn't help it. The laughter had to spill over. "Perfecting the Image? You've got to be kidding me!"
"No, they're new but they're really taking off." She looked at me in puzzlement as my laughter faded. "Duo?"
In the space of a breath and a heartbeat, the laughter melted into a painful sadness.
"Sorry," I said, not even attempting a smile. "Just remembering a joke with an old friend." Even to Hilde I couldn't say his name.
I was always joking about band names during the war. Any turn of phrase that struck my fancy was fair game, and not one of the pilots escaped being cast in my little fantasy band. One day Heero had been trying to show me a very old vid feed and the words PERFECTING THE IMAGE had appeared on the screen. Really, the joke was inevitable.
And here they were, a real band. Of course they didn't have Heero on lead guitar, Wufei beating the drums with Trowa holding down bass guitar, my incredible vocals and Quatre playing keys and tracking every other instrument known to man, but they there they were. Astonishing.
What was even more astonishing was the fact that this was the first time I'd thought of Heero in awhile. I really could go great chunks of time without thinking of him. Days, even. But somehow, sooner or later, I'd end up wondering what Heero would think, or do, or say.
"Duo?" Hilde repeated, concerned.
I smiled and jumped up, dismissing the memory. The DJ had started the music and a little physical activity would help me loose my thoughts. "C'mon. Let's dance." I could see the relief in her eyes as she let me lead her to the dance floor, laughing.
I was getting drinks after that set when disaster struck again. Crowded against the sticky bar waiting for our order the opening notes of a very old song froze my blood. I hoped fate was having her little laugh at me because I didn't think karma worked that fast.
I worked with music, right? So it was only natural that I had a song to represent everyone I knew. Some people knew their songs, some didn't. They were mostly pre-colony, and some of them could get me killed if their 'owner' found out. I still count it as one of my greatest triumphs that I'm still breathing after playing 'Puff the Magic Dragon' for Wufei. Trowa was quietly amused at his, and I was still saving Quatre's to trump him at lunch some day.
I would never have been suicidal enough to tell Heero about this one, though. The drinks were delivered as the opening lines began. I'm not looking forward to the night I'll spend thinking of you when you're not here.
Pushing past the suddenly stifling crowd, I took the drinks back to the table. I tried making small talk, but the music seemed to flood the room, making it hard to breathe. Hilde tried her best, but finally I bowed to the obvious.
"I'm sorry, I'm not really feeling well." No lie there. "I'm gonna take off now. Maybe we'll catch up with each other later." I gave her a quick kiss and a longer hug. She sighed dramatically, then smiled.
"Take care of yourself, Duo. Stay safe."
I decided to walk home, the infuriating song still playing in my head. The night air was cool, the darkness creeping along my skin like the shadows of a kiss. Tonight I desperately needed the comfort of the place I considered my own. The crisp smell of autumn leaves beckoned as I turned into the small lane of apartment blocks. The leaves crunched under my feet like dried memories suspended in the timeless beauty of death.
The three stairs up to my private flat were measured in silence, practicing skills I was careful not to lose, no matter what my public occupation. As a public personality, I had an apartment or two, but this was my sanctuary. No one except Quatre knew the address. I didn't come here often, just when I needed some seclusion and privacy. When I needed to run and hide, like tonight.
I left the lights off as I entered, moving through the darkness to the fridge. Snagging out a cool bottle of water I sat on the couch and tried not to feel anything. Thoughts, memories, emotions all swirled around me to the damnable song. Finally, I gave up resisting and got undressed, throwing myself across the bed. I licked my lips and moved my hand to my waiting erection.
Resting deep, you don't know what you give me I keep for these moments alone.
It had started as a challenge. Could Death move more silently than the Perfect Soldier could sense? I'd stalked Heero day and night, the only truce being while we were carrying out a mission. The unofficial score had been almost even when I discovered that I could ghost into Heero's room without waking him shortly after he fell asleep. Of course, I sometimes got caught leaving, but not always.
There was an odd sense of vulnerability about Heero when he was asleep, although I was mortally certain I would find out just how much an illusion that was if I tried anything. Sometimes I'd stay an hour, sometimes most of the night watching him sleep.
My body shook as I slowly stroked myself. Memories rode fantasy, twisting through a slowly rising wave of desire. I finally came with a long exhalation, carried through pleasure to pain and beyond, a sensation so intense there were no words to describe it. That too was inevitable when I fantasized about Heero.
With a sigh, I wiped my hands on the blanket and slid into bed. I closed my eyes with a familiar mixture of resignation, shame and weary longing.
The chorus followed me down into sleep. Close your eyes I want to ride the skies in my sweet dreams, close your eyes I want to see you tonight in my sweet dreams.