A/N I'm sorry if this chapter seems long and pointless, but I'm sure I had a reason for writing it. After this, we'll get back on to the good stuff, but I had to describe something of the life between Roberto and Dora before I could bring a certain somebody back. ^_^ Thanks for reading, and remember constructive criticism is good, flames are bad! Thanks.

Chapter Nineteen.

I have no pleasure in writing about the years I spent married to Roberto. We spoke to each other little, and he was often away on 'navy business' that he refused to discuss. And I spent endless days wondering around his house on the seafront, with little to occupy and rid me of the boredom that rested constantly on my shoulders.

I heard not a word from Jack, perhaps he was glad to be rid of me, and had no desire to strike up an acquaintance once more.

And so I passed five years of my life in an unearthly daze, but in complete respectability. Rudolph returned to England, and I was loathe to say goodbye to him. Our parting hurt me deeply, and I sank lower into depression.

Bonny was a strange girl, of about twenty five years. She had large, dark eyes, and murky black hair. Her face was round, but rather plain. I thought she was too pretty to be a maid, she too seemed to think so. And there were times when she quite forgot her place in life. She rather fancied herself lady of the house, opposed to the lowly maid.

I often wondered about Bonny's place in the household. She seemed to be above the other maids, and many of them looked upon her person with awe. She did little work, choosing to spend the days out of doors. Her actions made me uncomfortable to say the least, but I let it be. After all it would be wrong to chain a free spirit. And in some respects I almost liked her, she was honest and independent. Other's opinions mattered little to her, and she could live proudly on her own two feet. She thought that we owed her a service and not the other way round. She did not belief in wealth and poverty as defining characteristics.

"It would be wrong to describe someone as poor." She told me once, when I met her strolling in the garden.

"Bonny?"

She pouted in annoyance. "Bet no one has ever called you poor."

I shook my head.

"I just think it's wrong." She replied.

"Why? Who has called you poor?" I asked.

She smiled. "No one, not me anyway."

"Then who? It is too random a thought to have not come from somewhere." I said. Although I had little feelings of attachment to her, she interested me. Just as Jack had.

"Little Ellie Parker." She sighed.

I was almost shocked, I had never thought of Bonny as a caring person. Ellie Parker was the daughter of a lowly sailor, who, during his lengthy absences, worked tirelessly by the docks, helping the fishermen.

"There is nothing we can do for Ellie Parker." I said, softly, picking up the hem of my dress.

"No Miss?" She said, before walking off. It had been a question, and such attitude infuriated me, how dare she act so? It was like one of Jack's crew members giving him cheek. It just wasn't done.

It was during the summer when Roberto returned that I found myself with child. He was delighted.

"Oh, that is wonderful. It is time to have a little Robert running around the place."

"Robert?" I asked.

He smiled. "But of course."

"What if it is a girl?"

He shook his head, as his hands caressed my stomach. "Then we shall love it just the same."

His tone scared me, and I wanted to escape his company. I rose to leave.

"Do excuse me." I said. As I left Bonny rose to pour the tea for Roberto.

I was about to walk from the house, when I noticed my purse missing from my side, I must have left it the drawing room in the rush to get away. I was about to go out into the market, so I had to go back and get it. Besides it contained the necklace Jack had given me, and for some reason I hated to leave it unguarded with Roberto.

I pushed the door open softly and stepped inside. Roberto was sitting next to Bonny, his hand on her leg, his lips on hers. The two were together in a passionate and meaning embrace. He had never kissed me that way. I suppose it was lust that drove him to the beautiful, dangerous, Bonny. I couldn't stop the smile that sprang on to my face, and with a silent laugh, I shook my head.

I stepped into the room, marched up to the sofa and picked up my purse. Roberto jumped up in surprise.

"Forgot my purse." I explained at the shocked expression on his face. It took my entire self control not to start laughing. "I'll be back in time for dinner." I turned to leave. "Oh and Bonny, if you could air my green velvet I'd appreciate it, I plan to wear for tomorrow's ball." And with that I left the room.

Once outside in the open air, I ran down to the beach, and sank down on to the sands. It was only here by the crashing waves that I felt free.

I can't explain why Roberto and Bonny didn't bother me, or effect me in the slightest. It must have showed my lack of feelings for the man I had married, and was now having a child with. I delved into my purse, and plucked out the chain. I fastened it around my neck, and there it was to remain. It was almost a reassurance to know that Roberto wasn't perfect. He would have his sordid affairs, his women. Being discovered would not stop that. It was like a weight lifted from my mind. Ever since our marriage I had been looking out to sea, yearning for Jack. I had felt such a bad person, shackled to one man, yet hungering for another.

I could look for Jack in peace now without the weight of my conscience.

"Miss?" Came a voice.

I looked up to see Bonny.

"Sit down, Bonny." I said.

She sat. "Look I just wanta say it was all my fault, I tempted the master. I shall return to the house and pack my bags immediately." She slurred.

I shook my head with a smile. "I have a feeling Bonny you're less responsible then you think."

"He told me to say that."

"I know he did." I sighed. "Are you going to let a man like Roberto dictate your life for you Bonny?"

She didn't reply.

My hands rested on my stomach. "He is a bully, Bonny. Right from when we were children. And for a time, he tricked me into loving him. . ." I didn't know why I was telling her all this. Maybe it was the shady connection we had, Roberto had taken her too.

"But you cannot trick someone into love, for long."

She nodded, but her next words showed clearly that she did not understand. "I shall go and pack my bags."

And so Bonny left us, almost as quickly as she had arrived. The gossip amongst the servants after Bonny's departure was large indeed. And for a while Roberto stayed at home, fearing to leave the house when such a scandal existed. However, he couldn't stay too long, he claimed that the sea called for him. And he was gone. The house was once more at peace.

I was sure he had countless other woman at his ports, hordes of illegitimate children running riot over the plains of this earth. But it did not bother me as it should have done. Roberto was a ruthless man, who always got what he wanted, and something he had never stopped talking about was revenge on my kidnapper, namely Jack Sparrow.

"He comes into our home. . ."

"Roberto." I warned him.

"He takes advantage of our hospitality. Hospitality? Yes, it's all very well provided a poor child with a chance to get back on his feet. But what we did for him? Why father treated him. . ."

"Like scum, and you know it. We did nothing for Jack Sparrow, that wouldn't have been done for us, had we been swept ashore."

"God forbid. And then he turns up here, kills your parents, and then kidnaps you." Roberto complained. When he was home, Jack was his favourite subject. He would groan about the harm Jack was doing to the navy, the complete lawlessness of his actions, and the innocents he killed along the way.

Two months later my child was born. I was very ill at the time, and my leg started to twinge again. The doctor had said that it would never properly heal. I took to my bed a month before the birth, and had midwives and nurses on attendance throughout the day and night. Roberto spared no expense on my account, but as he stood by my bed, neither his words nor posture professed an ounce of love for me. And he was more of a hindrance then a help.

But after hours of pain and torture, my child was brought into this world. And my arms folded around it in a protective manner. I have heard rather affectionate mothers say, when they first held their beloved children 'I was born for this moment'. I don't doubt their love for their children, but mine was of a quieter nature, less aggressive, a more passive adoration (if adoration can ever be passive).

The child was a boy. And for some reason I was disappointed. I had thought that by having a girl, it would be a way to get back at Roberto for his behaviour with Bonny. But I loved the child all the same.

Roberto insisted on naming him Robert, and so he became my little Bobbie.

Bobbie gave a little meaning back to my life. But it was too little, and I could not stop myself staring out into the vivid blue yonder. It was five years ago since my eyes had last sighted upon Jack Sparrow. Those five years seemed a painful prison sentence, nothing more, nothing less. I had shackles tightening around my ankles. And Roberto was the one holding the chains, and the key.

But then I got thinking, before Jack I had been prepared to love Roberto, and accept him for who he was. Maybe it was myself who had changed, not Roberto. I was judging him differently, then I formerly did. I had to forget about Jack and try to make a new life for myself with Roberto.

He continued to roam the seas, and talked less and less of revenge, he rose in the navy and after a twelve year service he became Commodore Harping.

I sit back and shake my head, the cell is cold, and I am shivering. The guards think I am shaking from fear, and I have not the energy to disillusion them. Writing this, my story on the eve of my death, has started me thinking. I look back over the pages, and tears come to my eyes. The guards think I am crying because the crowds have already started to gather outside in the square.

But alas no, I cry over the harsh words I have used to describe Roberto. My life with him was not all bad. He never argued with me, hit me, or forced me into bed with him when I would not consent. I cannot remember a time when he looked at Bobbie with anything but care and concern. He just had faults, as every human has. And those I could easily have overlooked. I really could have loved Roberto and had a happy, respectable life with him. But there was one problem, that no amount of affection, or money could rectify. Roberto was not Jack.

"Bobbie!" I yelled as he scampered over the garden. He was a free spirited boy, and I saw more of his father in him every day. "Bobbie! I'm not chasing after you!" I cried.

I stopped and shook my head, with a smile. He had ran behind one of the trees and was standing there giggling. He had dark brown hair like his father, and a face full of mischief, like his father.

I only had the one child, Bobbie was enough. I tried to focus my attentions on him, giving him everything I had never had. My mother had been as distant as the Earth from the moon, I was absolutely nothing to her. I didn't want Bobbie to feel the same way.

But no matter how much I loved him, the sea would always have a grip over my heart. Everyday I would walk down to the harbour and stood where Jack had found me, reminiscing. The servants thought it was love for the absent Roberto that made me stare wantonly at the sea, and I let them believe it. It was easier then telling them the truth.

"Is daddy home, today?" Bobbie asked, as I guided him into the house.

I shook my head. "No, not for a few days yet, Bobbie."

He pouted. "But you went to the docks."

"Yes, I did. But not for your father. Come Bobbie, you should be in your lessons with the curate. Your father pays for these lessons, do not be so ungrateful as to waste the mind God has given you."

Bobbie nodded in annoyance. He was at this time nine years old.

He traipsed to the church, and I waved goodbye at the door. "Will daddy be home when I get back?" He called, turning round.

"No, darling." I sighed. "Few days yet."

It was strange to see the eagerness of my child, and not be able to join in with his excitement. Roberto's home coming meant little too me, or so I thought. It would fashion out to be the turning point of my life. All the events would come to a head, and I would be forced to choose between the comfortable years I enjoyed with my husband and son, and the weeks of freedom and desire, the only time I had ever felt truly alive, with Jack. I would have to choose between the two.