Chapter 6: Conviction of Melancholy
"It's funny that way, You can get used to the tears and the pain. What a child will believe, You never loved me.
You can't hurt me now. I got a way from you, I never thought I would You can't make me cry. You once had the power, I never felt so good about myself." - Oh, Father (Madonna - Like a Prayer)
Slowly, Obi-Wan turned to see who had found him. To his own astonished amazement, he immediately threw his arms around the figure and buried his face in their shoulder. Rekindled tears soaked the cloth, but to his delight, arms came to return the embrace. Together the two hugged each other, tightening and relaxing to reassure the other without words. Their embrace held for what could have been hours to them. It was only when he registered softly spoken words that he withdrew again.
"I've missed you so much," the Padawan admitted. She felt Obi-Wan stiffen when she spoke and the abrupt detachment. Her heart ached when she saw the emptiness that remained in the blue-green gaze of a tormented soul. In that moment she wondered if her coming was the right thing to do.
But the need to do so, was so hard to ignore. When Siri had come to inform them he was awake, they were already aware of his flight. The turmoil he experienced was overpowering to all Force-sensitives. He apparently was not conscious of the fact his emotions were being broadcast through the Force. At first, the group had tried to ignore it, but soon found it was impossible. The deeply rooted pain that lived within Obi-Wan began to affect the young initiates, causing some to cry their responding grief.
After some time had passed, Tola approached the Padawan and touched her hand. Tears glistened in the little girl's eyes when she stared into the large silver one's of the apprentice. Quietly, she leaned forward and whispered, "He needs you." It was all Bant needed for her to do what her heart was already commanding. She hurried from the room in search of the source of sorrow that swelled through the ship. The emotions were so powerful, that she could not use the Force to locate him. In the end, it was the sickening sound of vicious punches and anguished cries that allowed her to find him.
When she entered the Rec Room, she had to stifle the cry that wanted to escape her. Although, by the looks of things, he probably would not have even heard her if she had. The misery in each swing was crushing to the spirit, and she could not imagine housing it. She didn't know how anyone could have survived while retaining the melancholy that poured off her old friend. Her heart almost shattered when his fist slipped and he slumped against the post. Yet she still could not force herself to move any closer. Only after he had crumpled to the floor was she able to command her legs again.
Cautiously, she made her way to the wretched form of her friend. And with as much care as she could muster, she touched his shoulder. To her joyous surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and cried on her shoulder. The reaction was not what she expected but it was definitely not unwelcome. How she had missed the bright laughter, the charming smile and the quick wit of her remarkable friend. She knew he had some rough spots, afterall, everyone had flaws of some kind. But she always believed that his were minor. The rivalry between him and Bruck was the biggest obstacle, and it had cost him dearly. Their last fight prompted the Council to send Obi-Wan to Bandomeer, and in turn into the hands of the pirates. And it had disgusted her when they cast him aside so easily.
How much he had changed since then. Obviously, he was taller and donned a maturing face, but there was still a hint of innocence in the features. His spikey ginger hair had grown into the flowing locks that he deftly used to hide his troubled gaze. Somewhere, deep down in the gruff exterior lived the promising initiate she always knew. But she also knew the purity that was Obi-Wan had been tainted by the dark forces in the galaxy. To ignore or overlook the errs would be disastrous. Instead, she allowed her presence to be a comfort for the wounded soul and gave him the time he needed to readjust.
After long minutes had passed, his gasping sobs eased and she felt it safe enough to talk. No more than a whisper, she said, "I missed you so much." For a moment his muscles tensed and he stopped. Then he extracted himself from her hold and backed up against the post. Pulling his knees up to his chest, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his legs. He rest his forehead against his folded arms and retreated back in to himself. Bant could sense his withdrawal and tried to stop its advancement. "Please. Please don't leave me again." Straining to hear him, Bant edged closer.
Obi-Wan never raised his head and his rugged voice was muffled within the folds. "Alone."
Suddenly, Bant was awestruck by how much one word can hold. From the moment she had been told of his death, that was exactly how she felt. But Garen and Reeft were there with her, feeling just as empty when they stared at his vacant seat among them. Now she realized for Obi-Wan, that feeling had been there from the moment he stepped out of his room at the Temple for the last time. That it had been a part of him for so long, without any reprieve. She didn't know what to say to ease the torment in his heart. She watched him for a while longer before she realized, "You don't have to be. If you let us." Slowly, Obi-Wan lifted his head enough for her to catch his gaze through the caramel strands. Even softer than before, she pleaded, "please."
Obi-Wan tried to tramp down the anguish that thrived on his suffering, as he glanced up at Bant. He was so confused and lost and his emotions were in such chaos, he didn't know how to accept the offer. His heart desperately sought the friendship that they had so long ago, but his mind rebelled, attempting to protect itself from false hope. She must have seen the desperation in his eyes, because she spoke again.
"I can't tell you everything will go back to the way they were, or I would be lying. And I can't tell you that I know how you feel because that would be a lie too." The Calamarian moved closer and placed her hand on his forearm. "But I can tell how much we missed you." Tears rimmed the large bulbous eyes and threatened to fall. "I hoped and prayed that somehow you were still out there somewhere. That someone had made a horrible mistake." Her voice hitched and she fought to regain control, "And when I saw you, I can't tell you how much I wished that my prayers had been answered. But when you confirmed what I only dared to dream, I - I can't even describe what I felt."
Obi-Wan had turned his gaze from the Padawan and stared at nothing in front of him. "I've dreaded that moment."
"Why?" She gently squeezed his arm, hoping that it would convey how much she wanted him to explain.
"I died." He stated simply, but Bant knew he wasn't finished. A heavy sigh escaped him, before he went on, "My life was ruined. My dreams crushed. My humanity ripped from me. I was nothing." Unconsciously, he pulled his legs in tighter as if to protect himself from the memory. "Pain." Another shuddering breath broke free, and he paused trying to find the right words. "I didn't want to be found. Didn't want to be reminded of things before. I was afraid." His voice softened as he spoke, drifting lightly on the calming waves of emotion.
"You didn't have to be afraid. We would have helped you, we would have found a way." The Padawan tried to reassure the distraught countenance. Obi-Wan nodded slightly and Bant was lost at what else to say. Instead, she moved to hold his hands, but stopped when her eyes caught the raw knuckles. Immediately, she rose from her spot and crossed the room. Entering one of the small fresher units, she found a small bowl and cloth to cleanse the wounds.
Careful not to spill any water, she knelt down in front of the rogue and set herself to once again take care of him. She dipped the cloth into the cool basin and wrung out the excess. Gently, she took his hand in hers and washed away the blood. Looking at the swollen hands brought back the tears to her eyes. It broke her heart to know that he could only deal with the pain by causing more. Neither spoke as she worked and when she was finished they could barely tell the difference.
Obi-Wan watched her take care of him as she often had done while they were initiates. The rolling emotions still swirled around him, but he felt oddly dulled. As if for all the emotions were dancing around him while he stood still in the middle, and for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. A small grin formed on his lips and he was truly happy that he was able to achieve that moment, if it was only for a moment. But it was also a rueful smile, as he knew it wouldn't last. In fact it was only the beginning of torment he would soon be forced to endure.
Vaguely, he became aware that she had finished, and he glanced down at his sore extremities. The reddened skin burned when he clenched his fists. But he was still grateful for her tenderness and care for him. He reclined back against the post, determining what he should say. Finally, he offered the only thing he could, "Thank you."
Smiling, Bant replied, "You're welcome." She then rose and took the basin and cloth back to the fresher. As she was walking back, she spotted a locker that had a workout tunic folded inside. Remembering the bloodstained shirt that he now wore, Bant grabbed it. As she drew nearer, Bant motioned for him to rise. Once he stood in front of her she held out the shirt. "Here."
Shyly, Obi-Wan glanced down. The browning blemish caked onto the soft tunic, and he was embarrassed to still be wearing it. In addition to that, his exertion caused the light material to cling to him. He desperately needed the change and nodded his thanks. Gingerly, he removed the soiled shirt and turned to place it on a shelf behind. As soon as he turned he heard the sharp intake of breath. Shortly after, the gentle touch to his shoulder came. Turning back, he found the Padawan crying freely, as her gaze glanced over his back and torso. He couldn't help the shame he felt from her knowing gaze. It was almost too much for him.
"Oh, Obi. I'm so sorry," the young apprentice whispered. She wanted to say more, but his brusque movements to quickly cover up and hide the history written across his body, stopped her. He had turned away again and she thought she lost him. To her relief, he responded.
"It wasn't your fault." Obi-Wan quickly wrapped the white tunic around him, knowing it was already too late. His admission only added to the defeat he felt. "It happened right after I had been taken. And continued until Drrov was killed." Getting frustrated with himself due to his carelessness, Obi-Wan tightened the red belt, to keep his tunic closed, angrily. It was all too much, too much information to be dealt with, on both sides. Emotional chaos, physical suffering and the broad spectrum in between could not be conferred into simple words.
The Calamarian withdrew her hand when she felt his anguish, but could not shake the image of his scarred body from her mind. Stripes and gashes crisscrossed his back and chest. Some seemed as if they went deep into the tender tissue. Some of the vicious lines appeared to cross over others, revealing multiple beatings on top of older unhealed punishments. For the first time in her life, Bant knew genuine anger and hate. She despised those who could strike out against a child, and not just any child but her beloved Obi-Wan. Hated those who could a bright spirit and drive it into the darkness. Loathed those who could vanquish a pure soul and beat it into submission.
Sensing the rage bubbling beneath the surface, Obi-Wan diffused her tension. "Don't be upset. I no longer felt anything during that time."
"Oh, Obi. You should not have had to face such pain." Bant found it remarkable that despite everything that happened to him, he thought of her.
"It doesn't matter," he said, dissuading her concern from something that could not be corrected. "That was a long time ago."
In an effort to comfort, Bant placed her hands on his shoulders and her cheek rested against his back. "But it does matter, Obi. It matters to a lot of us." The Padawan realized just how many this new revelation would effect. Most definitely, Garen and Reeft would be happy to hear that their long lost friend was in fact alive. She also knew of a few other Padawans that will also be glad of the news. A number of the Masters that were still teaching would be ecstatic to find their prize pupil returned. But to her, the one who would be the happiest to see him brought back to the Temple would be Yoda.
She had noted the slight change in the tiny green Master when he informed them of Obi-Wan's apparent demise. Over the past five years, she watched as he tried to hide his sorrow. Bant had not realized how much the petite Jedi cared for her friend until they learned of his fate. As a Padawan, she has had many instances when they sat alone and talked. On the bad days, they would talk about how they missed him. And on the good days they would recount anecdotes. But somewhere deep inside, she felt that the small Master also held that nagging feeling that Obi was no dead. Neither ever spoke it aloud, it was just a mutual understanding they had.
The apprentice was about to tell him exactly who his welfare mattered to, when hands grabbed her shoulders and ripped her away. Everything happened so fast that she was not fully aware of what was going on around her. But she knew that it was not good.
As soon as Bant was torn away, Obi-Wan began to turn to find out what happened. Before he could learn anything a fist spun him back around and knocked him to the ground. When his mind cleared enough to register the floor and get up on hands and knees, a boot crashed into his wounded side. Forcing the boy to cry out and fall back down to the floor.
Suddenly hands were on him, pulling him back up and restraining him. Punches repeatedly contacted with sore muscle and sparks flew across his vision. Vaguely, he was aware of Bant screaming for whomever to stop the assault. His mind reeled from the maelstrom encircling him. And for some minutes he was transported back in time, when he did not want to feel anymore. And secretly begged for release.
Bant struggled against her captor but could not dislodge herself. To her utter shock, she watched as two crewman attacked a non-resisting Obi-Wan. What also disturbed her was that they did not sense their approach. Apparently, the emotional overload in the Force masked their senses. Her own touch with the Force was tentative and she could not concentrate long enough use it to now. So she did what she could, "Stop! Stop it!"
They ignored her for some time as they kept up their assailment on the rogue. Only when they tired of their task did they let up. The crewman holding back Obi-Wan's arms (needlessly) released his hold and virtually threw the boy to the ground. Clutching at the hard floor, Obi-Wan battled the pain bombarding him. Red coughs escaped the beaten form.
From behind, Bant cried, "Why are you doing this?"
The crewman who had taken it upon himself to deal out the punishment turned back to regard the Padawan, "Stay out of this little girl. This doesn't concern you."
Braving the consequences, Bant rebuttaled, "He is under Jedi custody, so this does concern me."
Turning back to the downed form, the man grew angrier. He kicked the rogue while he spoke, "So you think you can hide under their protection! They can not save you from justice."
"You can not do this!" Bant exclaimed, hoping they would cease this perversion.
The man wheeled around on the apprentice about to strike when he stopped himself. He knew that hitting a Jedi would only create problems for them. "Do not interfere again, or I may not be able to guarantee your safety."
"Leave. her alone. Your. fight. is with . me." A pain-filled voice said. Obi-Wan was struggling to get up. He only made it to his knees when the man bounded for him again. This time however, the man grabbed at the boy's tunic and yanked him up.
"Oh yes, murderer, my fight is definitely with you." The man glared into the dilated sea-change gaze of his captive.
Returning the glare, Obi-Wan dimly placed the man in his memory. It was the unconscious pilot in the bridge. Suddenly the man's accusation registered and he stared up questioningly, "I.don't understand."
The pilot pulled the boy closer, "Three months ago, a ship called Koska. Do you remember?" Something passed behind the blue-green portals and the man took it as a yes.
Behind him, Griven heard the tentative voice of the Jedi, "What happened?"
The pilot never removed his gaze from the boy, but he answered in a tone that revealed his deadly intentions, "It was raided, wasn't it pirate? By a group of Togorians. But eye witnesses also mentioned a human among them." Griven paused as he pressed Obi-Wan against the punching post. Daggers were clearly visible in the pale blue gaze of the crewman. "I wasn't the first pilot in my family. My father was one and so were my brothers. Do you know the name, Kiiv Griven?"
Obi-Wan shook his head, but he could already see where this was all leading. He braced himself for the coming storm as the man continued, "You should. He was a pilot on the Koska. The one you killed!"
Obi-Wan heard Bant's gasp and felt the guilt stab through him. Before he realized what was happening, he responded to the charge, "It was an accident. We do not wish to harm anyone and any loss of life is regrettable." The rogue's head snapped to the side and he could taste the familiar wash of iron in his mouth.
"Regrettable?! Was it regrettable to his wife? Or how about his children?" The man barked as his fists swung out again.
Obi-Wan didn't struggle, didn't fight. In his mind he deserved every punishment he got. In fact, he did remember the raid on the Koska. They had rounded up most of the passengers, only a few resisted. Among them were a number of the crew. There was a brief blaster battle that took place before they were defeated. After gathering the remaining captives one produced a small personal blaster and aimed it toward the Togorian leader. Before he could even think, Obi-Wan had pulled out blaster and shot. His intention was only to wound the man but he underestimated the gunner's speed. The bolt caught the man full in chest.
He remembered how the light behind the eyes dimmed as the life drained from him. The moment he fired, he wished he hadn't. The part of him that was still Jedi treasured all life, which is what compelled him to stop the murderous raids. They had gone for over a year without a casualty on either side and this was worse because it was his fault. His tortured soul peered through the raging oceans up at Griven. "If it's justice you want, then take it."
Bant's eyes swelled with tears. The raspy voice of her friend reflected his defeated spirit. Her mind screamed, It's not fair! Not fair! She could not let this happen. Even if he no longer had the desire to live, she couldn't stand by and watch him get beat to death. "NO!" she cried in her desperation.
Another crewman came up to hold Obi-Wan's arms back. The feral grin on Griven's face could send chills down a back, but Obi-Wan remained passive. The other crewman held back the distraught Padawan, as the pilot prepared to take his revenge. "That is exactly what I intend to do boy."
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Now please, please, please, please, please, please, don't forget to review!!!! I'm worried that I'm dragging this along, so please tell me what you think. I'm really looking to improve my methods on portraying emotion so you need to tell me how I'm doing. THANK YOU!! : D
JCslilangel1425 - Thank you very much. : ) I hope that you liked the emotional aspect within this chapter. I' still not so sure about it.
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Ciria - Ahh, my dear. : D Oh, we are in for a ride! ; ) ]: ) I'll deal with the whole planet/ship thing soon. Just have to rap up a few things before we can concentrate on that. And I'll see what I can do to bring more of the Togorians into the mix. I have some plans that I think will work out, but we'll just have to wait and see. I'm glad you liked the conv with Siri and Obi. Yes, Siri has some issues, which were prominent in the JA books, and I wanted to bring that into the story. Awwwwww!! :8} Thank you so very much. : D That scene was the scene that made me write this fic in the first place. When I first read the PB by Shanobi, I had that scene play out in my mind. And when I see something so clearly I know I have to get involved. So, I cared for the PB and raised it to become this story. I'm just so happy that so many seem to be enjoying it as much as I am. : D
Heidi M - Yes, our Tuuvu does care for his cub. And I really wanted to bring a sense of realism to this. I often try and figure out how people react to children that have been taken from parents or given up for adoption, and then suddenly the parents are back to claim their child. The emotional chaos that is created is something I can only guess at, but I think that is somehow reflected in this. Thank you so much. : D
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"It's funny that way, You can get used to the tears and the pain. What a child will believe, You never loved me.
You can't hurt me now. I got a way from you, I never thought I would You can't make me cry. You once had the power, I never felt so good about myself." - Oh, Father (Madonna - Like a Prayer)
Slowly, Obi-Wan turned to see who had found him. To his own astonished amazement, he immediately threw his arms around the figure and buried his face in their shoulder. Rekindled tears soaked the cloth, but to his delight, arms came to return the embrace. Together the two hugged each other, tightening and relaxing to reassure the other without words. Their embrace held for what could have been hours to them. It was only when he registered softly spoken words that he withdrew again.
"I've missed you so much," the Padawan admitted. She felt Obi-Wan stiffen when she spoke and the abrupt detachment. Her heart ached when she saw the emptiness that remained in the blue-green gaze of a tormented soul. In that moment she wondered if her coming was the right thing to do.
But the need to do so, was so hard to ignore. When Siri had come to inform them he was awake, they were already aware of his flight. The turmoil he experienced was overpowering to all Force-sensitives. He apparently was not conscious of the fact his emotions were being broadcast through the Force. At first, the group had tried to ignore it, but soon found it was impossible. The deeply rooted pain that lived within Obi-Wan began to affect the young initiates, causing some to cry their responding grief.
After some time had passed, Tola approached the Padawan and touched her hand. Tears glistened in the little girl's eyes when she stared into the large silver one's of the apprentice. Quietly, she leaned forward and whispered, "He needs you." It was all Bant needed for her to do what her heart was already commanding. She hurried from the room in search of the source of sorrow that swelled through the ship. The emotions were so powerful, that she could not use the Force to locate him. In the end, it was the sickening sound of vicious punches and anguished cries that allowed her to find him.
When she entered the Rec Room, she had to stifle the cry that wanted to escape her. Although, by the looks of things, he probably would not have even heard her if she had. The misery in each swing was crushing to the spirit, and she could not imagine housing it. She didn't know how anyone could have survived while retaining the melancholy that poured off her old friend. Her heart almost shattered when his fist slipped and he slumped against the post. Yet she still could not force herself to move any closer. Only after he had crumpled to the floor was she able to command her legs again.
Cautiously, she made her way to the wretched form of her friend. And with as much care as she could muster, she touched his shoulder. To her joyous surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and cried on her shoulder. The reaction was not what she expected but it was definitely not unwelcome. How she had missed the bright laughter, the charming smile and the quick wit of her remarkable friend. She knew he had some rough spots, afterall, everyone had flaws of some kind. But she always believed that his were minor. The rivalry between him and Bruck was the biggest obstacle, and it had cost him dearly. Their last fight prompted the Council to send Obi-Wan to Bandomeer, and in turn into the hands of the pirates. And it had disgusted her when they cast him aside so easily.
How much he had changed since then. Obviously, he was taller and donned a maturing face, but there was still a hint of innocence in the features. His spikey ginger hair had grown into the flowing locks that he deftly used to hide his troubled gaze. Somewhere, deep down in the gruff exterior lived the promising initiate she always knew. But she also knew the purity that was Obi-Wan had been tainted by the dark forces in the galaxy. To ignore or overlook the errs would be disastrous. Instead, she allowed her presence to be a comfort for the wounded soul and gave him the time he needed to readjust.
After long minutes had passed, his gasping sobs eased and she felt it safe enough to talk. No more than a whisper, she said, "I missed you so much." For a moment his muscles tensed and he stopped. Then he extracted himself from her hold and backed up against the post. Pulling his knees up to his chest, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his legs. He rest his forehead against his folded arms and retreated back in to himself. Bant could sense his withdrawal and tried to stop its advancement. "Please. Please don't leave me again." Straining to hear him, Bant edged closer.
Obi-Wan never raised his head and his rugged voice was muffled within the folds. "Alone."
Suddenly, Bant was awestruck by how much one word can hold. From the moment she had been told of his death, that was exactly how she felt. But Garen and Reeft were there with her, feeling just as empty when they stared at his vacant seat among them. Now she realized for Obi-Wan, that feeling had been there from the moment he stepped out of his room at the Temple for the last time. That it had been a part of him for so long, without any reprieve. She didn't know what to say to ease the torment in his heart. She watched him for a while longer before she realized, "You don't have to be. If you let us." Slowly, Obi-Wan lifted his head enough for her to catch his gaze through the caramel strands. Even softer than before, she pleaded, "please."
Obi-Wan tried to tramp down the anguish that thrived on his suffering, as he glanced up at Bant. He was so confused and lost and his emotions were in such chaos, he didn't know how to accept the offer. His heart desperately sought the friendship that they had so long ago, but his mind rebelled, attempting to protect itself from false hope. She must have seen the desperation in his eyes, because she spoke again.
"I can't tell you everything will go back to the way they were, or I would be lying. And I can't tell you that I know how you feel because that would be a lie too." The Calamarian moved closer and placed her hand on his forearm. "But I can tell how much we missed you." Tears rimmed the large bulbous eyes and threatened to fall. "I hoped and prayed that somehow you were still out there somewhere. That someone had made a horrible mistake." Her voice hitched and she fought to regain control, "And when I saw you, I can't tell you how much I wished that my prayers had been answered. But when you confirmed what I only dared to dream, I - I can't even describe what I felt."
Obi-Wan had turned his gaze from the Padawan and stared at nothing in front of him. "I've dreaded that moment."
"Why?" She gently squeezed his arm, hoping that it would convey how much she wanted him to explain.
"I died." He stated simply, but Bant knew he wasn't finished. A heavy sigh escaped him, before he went on, "My life was ruined. My dreams crushed. My humanity ripped from me. I was nothing." Unconsciously, he pulled his legs in tighter as if to protect himself from the memory. "Pain." Another shuddering breath broke free, and he paused trying to find the right words. "I didn't want to be found. Didn't want to be reminded of things before. I was afraid." His voice softened as he spoke, drifting lightly on the calming waves of emotion.
"You didn't have to be afraid. We would have helped you, we would have found a way." The Padawan tried to reassure the distraught countenance. Obi-Wan nodded slightly and Bant was lost at what else to say. Instead, she moved to hold his hands, but stopped when her eyes caught the raw knuckles. Immediately, she rose from her spot and crossed the room. Entering one of the small fresher units, she found a small bowl and cloth to cleanse the wounds.
Careful not to spill any water, she knelt down in front of the rogue and set herself to once again take care of him. She dipped the cloth into the cool basin and wrung out the excess. Gently, she took his hand in hers and washed away the blood. Looking at the swollen hands brought back the tears to her eyes. It broke her heart to know that he could only deal with the pain by causing more. Neither spoke as she worked and when she was finished they could barely tell the difference.
Obi-Wan watched her take care of him as she often had done while they were initiates. The rolling emotions still swirled around him, but he felt oddly dulled. As if for all the emotions were dancing around him while he stood still in the middle, and for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. A small grin formed on his lips and he was truly happy that he was able to achieve that moment, if it was only for a moment. But it was also a rueful smile, as he knew it wouldn't last. In fact it was only the beginning of torment he would soon be forced to endure.
Vaguely, he became aware that she had finished, and he glanced down at his sore extremities. The reddened skin burned when he clenched his fists. But he was still grateful for her tenderness and care for him. He reclined back against the post, determining what he should say. Finally, he offered the only thing he could, "Thank you."
Smiling, Bant replied, "You're welcome." She then rose and took the basin and cloth back to the fresher. As she was walking back, she spotted a locker that had a workout tunic folded inside. Remembering the bloodstained shirt that he now wore, Bant grabbed it. As she drew nearer, Bant motioned for him to rise. Once he stood in front of her she held out the shirt. "Here."
Shyly, Obi-Wan glanced down. The browning blemish caked onto the soft tunic, and he was embarrassed to still be wearing it. In addition to that, his exertion caused the light material to cling to him. He desperately needed the change and nodded his thanks. Gingerly, he removed the soiled shirt and turned to place it on a shelf behind. As soon as he turned he heard the sharp intake of breath. Shortly after, the gentle touch to his shoulder came. Turning back, he found the Padawan crying freely, as her gaze glanced over his back and torso. He couldn't help the shame he felt from her knowing gaze. It was almost too much for him.
"Oh, Obi. I'm so sorry," the young apprentice whispered. She wanted to say more, but his brusque movements to quickly cover up and hide the history written across his body, stopped her. He had turned away again and she thought she lost him. To her relief, he responded.
"It wasn't your fault." Obi-Wan quickly wrapped the white tunic around him, knowing it was already too late. His admission only added to the defeat he felt. "It happened right after I had been taken. And continued until Drrov was killed." Getting frustrated with himself due to his carelessness, Obi-Wan tightened the red belt, to keep his tunic closed, angrily. It was all too much, too much information to be dealt with, on both sides. Emotional chaos, physical suffering and the broad spectrum in between could not be conferred into simple words.
The Calamarian withdrew her hand when she felt his anguish, but could not shake the image of his scarred body from her mind. Stripes and gashes crisscrossed his back and chest. Some seemed as if they went deep into the tender tissue. Some of the vicious lines appeared to cross over others, revealing multiple beatings on top of older unhealed punishments. For the first time in her life, Bant knew genuine anger and hate. She despised those who could strike out against a child, and not just any child but her beloved Obi-Wan. Hated those who could a bright spirit and drive it into the darkness. Loathed those who could vanquish a pure soul and beat it into submission.
Sensing the rage bubbling beneath the surface, Obi-Wan diffused her tension. "Don't be upset. I no longer felt anything during that time."
"Oh, Obi. You should not have had to face such pain." Bant found it remarkable that despite everything that happened to him, he thought of her.
"It doesn't matter," he said, dissuading her concern from something that could not be corrected. "That was a long time ago."
In an effort to comfort, Bant placed her hands on his shoulders and her cheek rested against his back. "But it does matter, Obi. It matters to a lot of us." The Padawan realized just how many this new revelation would effect. Most definitely, Garen and Reeft would be happy to hear that their long lost friend was in fact alive. She also knew of a few other Padawans that will also be glad of the news. A number of the Masters that were still teaching would be ecstatic to find their prize pupil returned. But to her, the one who would be the happiest to see him brought back to the Temple would be Yoda.
She had noted the slight change in the tiny green Master when he informed them of Obi-Wan's apparent demise. Over the past five years, she watched as he tried to hide his sorrow. Bant had not realized how much the petite Jedi cared for her friend until they learned of his fate. As a Padawan, she has had many instances when they sat alone and talked. On the bad days, they would talk about how they missed him. And on the good days they would recount anecdotes. But somewhere deep inside, she felt that the small Master also held that nagging feeling that Obi was no dead. Neither ever spoke it aloud, it was just a mutual understanding they had.
The apprentice was about to tell him exactly who his welfare mattered to, when hands grabbed her shoulders and ripped her away. Everything happened so fast that she was not fully aware of what was going on around her. But she knew that it was not good.
As soon as Bant was torn away, Obi-Wan began to turn to find out what happened. Before he could learn anything a fist spun him back around and knocked him to the ground. When his mind cleared enough to register the floor and get up on hands and knees, a boot crashed into his wounded side. Forcing the boy to cry out and fall back down to the floor.
Suddenly hands were on him, pulling him back up and restraining him. Punches repeatedly contacted with sore muscle and sparks flew across his vision. Vaguely, he was aware of Bant screaming for whomever to stop the assault. His mind reeled from the maelstrom encircling him. And for some minutes he was transported back in time, when he did not want to feel anymore. And secretly begged for release.
Bant struggled against her captor but could not dislodge herself. To her utter shock, she watched as two crewman attacked a non-resisting Obi-Wan. What also disturbed her was that they did not sense their approach. Apparently, the emotional overload in the Force masked their senses. Her own touch with the Force was tentative and she could not concentrate long enough use it to now. So she did what she could, "Stop! Stop it!"
They ignored her for some time as they kept up their assailment on the rogue. Only when they tired of their task did they let up. The crewman holding back Obi-Wan's arms (needlessly) released his hold and virtually threw the boy to the ground. Clutching at the hard floor, Obi-Wan battled the pain bombarding him. Red coughs escaped the beaten form.
From behind, Bant cried, "Why are you doing this?"
The crewman who had taken it upon himself to deal out the punishment turned back to regard the Padawan, "Stay out of this little girl. This doesn't concern you."
Braving the consequences, Bant rebuttaled, "He is under Jedi custody, so this does concern me."
Turning back to the downed form, the man grew angrier. He kicked the rogue while he spoke, "So you think you can hide under their protection! They can not save you from justice."
"You can not do this!" Bant exclaimed, hoping they would cease this perversion.
The man wheeled around on the apprentice about to strike when he stopped himself. He knew that hitting a Jedi would only create problems for them. "Do not interfere again, or I may not be able to guarantee your safety."
"Leave. her alone. Your. fight. is with . me." A pain-filled voice said. Obi-Wan was struggling to get up. He only made it to his knees when the man bounded for him again. This time however, the man grabbed at the boy's tunic and yanked him up.
"Oh yes, murderer, my fight is definitely with you." The man glared into the dilated sea-change gaze of his captive.
Returning the glare, Obi-Wan dimly placed the man in his memory. It was the unconscious pilot in the bridge. Suddenly the man's accusation registered and he stared up questioningly, "I.don't understand."
The pilot pulled the boy closer, "Three months ago, a ship called Koska. Do you remember?" Something passed behind the blue-green portals and the man took it as a yes.
Behind him, Griven heard the tentative voice of the Jedi, "What happened?"
The pilot never removed his gaze from the boy, but he answered in a tone that revealed his deadly intentions, "It was raided, wasn't it pirate? By a group of Togorians. But eye witnesses also mentioned a human among them." Griven paused as he pressed Obi-Wan against the punching post. Daggers were clearly visible in the pale blue gaze of the crewman. "I wasn't the first pilot in my family. My father was one and so were my brothers. Do you know the name, Kiiv Griven?"
Obi-Wan shook his head, but he could already see where this was all leading. He braced himself for the coming storm as the man continued, "You should. He was a pilot on the Koska. The one you killed!"
Obi-Wan heard Bant's gasp and felt the guilt stab through him. Before he realized what was happening, he responded to the charge, "It was an accident. We do not wish to harm anyone and any loss of life is regrettable." The rogue's head snapped to the side and he could taste the familiar wash of iron in his mouth.
"Regrettable?! Was it regrettable to his wife? Or how about his children?" The man barked as his fists swung out again.
Obi-Wan didn't struggle, didn't fight. In his mind he deserved every punishment he got. In fact, he did remember the raid on the Koska. They had rounded up most of the passengers, only a few resisted. Among them were a number of the crew. There was a brief blaster battle that took place before they were defeated. After gathering the remaining captives one produced a small personal blaster and aimed it toward the Togorian leader. Before he could even think, Obi-Wan had pulled out blaster and shot. His intention was only to wound the man but he underestimated the gunner's speed. The bolt caught the man full in chest.
He remembered how the light behind the eyes dimmed as the life drained from him. The moment he fired, he wished he hadn't. The part of him that was still Jedi treasured all life, which is what compelled him to stop the murderous raids. They had gone for over a year without a casualty on either side and this was worse because it was his fault. His tortured soul peered through the raging oceans up at Griven. "If it's justice you want, then take it."
Bant's eyes swelled with tears. The raspy voice of her friend reflected his defeated spirit. Her mind screamed, It's not fair! Not fair! She could not let this happen. Even if he no longer had the desire to live, she couldn't stand by and watch him get beat to death. "NO!" she cried in her desperation.
Another crewman came up to hold Obi-Wan's arms back. The feral grin on Griven's face could send chills down a back, but Obi-Wan remained passive. The other crewman held back the distraught Padawan, as the pilot prepared to take his revenge. "That is exactly what I intend to do boy."
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Now please, please, please, please, please, please, don't forget to review!!!! I'm worried that I'm dragging this along, so please tell me what you think. I'm really looking to improve my methods on portraying emotion so you need to tell me how I'm doing. THANK YOU!! : D
JCslilangel1425 - Thank you very much. : ) I hope that you liked the emotional aspect within this chapter. I' still not so sure about it.
Liyanette - I hope this was soon enough for you. And I hope to have the next chapter done before Christmas. ; )
Banshee Fay - Aww, thanks. I'm glad you decided to leave a comment. They mean a great deal to me. So if you get the chance again please leave me another one. I would appreciate it. : D
Ewok Kid - I hope you liked what I have in this chapter. And, if you can believe it, there's more on the way. ; ) Mwahahahaha ] : )
Rieyeuxs - Thank you very much!! : D I'm so glad you are reading!! And I'll do my best to not keep you waiting too long. ; )
Ciria - Ahh, my dear. : D Oh, we are in for a ride! ; ) ]: ) I'll deal with the whole planet/ship thing soon. Just have to rap up a few things before we can concentrate on that. And I'll see what I can do to bring more of the Togorians into the mix. I have some plans that I think will work out, but we'll just have to wait and see. I'm glad you liked the conv with Siri and Obi. Yes, Siri has some issues, which were prominent in the JA books, and I wanted to bring that into the story. Awwwwww!! :8} Thank you so very much. : D That scene was the scene that made me write this fic in the first place. When I first read the PB by Shanobi, I had that scene play out in my mind. And when I see something so clearly I know I have to get involved. So, I cared for the PB and raised it to become this story. I'm just so happy that so many seem to be enjoying it as much as I am. : D
Heidi M - Yes, our Tuuvu does care for his cub. And I really wanted to bring a sense of realism to this. I often try and figure out how people react to children that have been taken from parents or given up for adoption, and then suddenly the parents are back to claim their child. The emotional chaos that is created is something I can only guess at, but I think that is somehow reflected in this. Thank you so much. : D
Artemicion - Alright, the deal has been struck. You review and I post. ; ) And if I don't get a review, I will have all my other readers hunt you down. ; D Naw, I'm just kidding. I won't have them hunt you down. I'll just take longer between posts. ] : ) Thanks for reading!! And I hope I can keep your interest on this epic journey. : D
Death Rider - Thank you with all my Heart!!!! : D : D : D You have no idea how much I appreciate your comment! : D I am an avid reader and now author of Obi-Torture so if I can fulfill other people's needs for OT, I am so happy! : D I need OT almost as badly as I need food, air and water. And I am so pleased when I can provide it to others out there like me. So, thank you. : )
Meggie - Wow! I'm flattered. And don't worry, even though You might have lifted my updating limitations, I have not. ; ) I am trying to get at least one update weekly, which has always been my goal, it just depends on my muses. Each one demands my attention at different times. And I cannot resist their demands. And I am really enjoying writing this fic, so if I stop, I'll hurt myself. ; ) As for the dogs, that was my intention. ; ) And I really, really appreciate your comments. : D Thank you!
grab-ur-lightsaber - Glad you liked it. I'm hoping to get another chapter of 'Catch me' up soon. Just so you know. And I appreciate you reading both stories. ; ) I'm really excited that you were able to get into the characters. That means a lot to me. And I'm also glad you told me what that meant. I don't think I would ever have gotten that. ; p And I'll give you updates on the website whenever I can. Thanks again!