No Right Words
auron/lulu, pg-13, for purplette (even though it's not a full fic)
remembering you
fallen into my arms
crying for the death of your heart
you were stone white so delicate
lost in the cold
you were always so lost in the dark
the cure, 'pictures of you'.
Whereas Wakka would've stumbled with words, falling over them, not knowing what to say or how to say it, what would help, Auron knew words weren't a comfort, when all your world came down around you. Words just didn't matter when loneliness filled ou up with cold air.
So Auron pulled Lulu closer and she breathed sadly against his coat's collar, his stern eyes not looking at her, hers carefully avoiding all eye contact with him. In that strange, comforting silence they stayed and she'd never felt so consolated, so secure. In his arms she let herself slip away, grasping his shoulders, she cried her eyes out. Silently, careful not to break that beautiful silence.
--
She'd always been a black mage, but now the colour was eating her insides, her being, destroying her heart. Like a stone blown into the tiniest of pieces, one couldn't simply put it back together. Brokebrokebroken, she thought, as she watched all of them around her, some with such hope for the future (and yet none), Tidus and Yuna sharing a secret smile, some with nothing left, Kimahri with his whole tribe, his roots extinct.
She wasn't fine, but she felt like it when she looked at Auron. It was like praying to Yevon, the prayer warming her heart and calming her mind. But there was no Yevon. No religion left to make her feel like a part of something important. All lies, and she had to comfort herself amidst all the sadness and death. The world shone in beautiful colours, but no cared, no one noticed, because everyone was just hurting so much. Everyone was just so scared.
--
All this while she was the one who had to be strong and collected for the sake of Yuna, to be the wise, loyal Guardian. She felt like such a failure, keeping up that cool exterior while she was falling apart inside.
Idly while dying in Auron's arms she thought she couldn't hear his heart beating in his chest. As if he'd already died and knew was it was like for her. To be stone cold and fragile, dead inside, afraid and lost and unloved. Or at least feel like it.
--
Auron wanted to tell her, in their moments of silence and comfort and hidden pain, he really wanted to, but couldn't. Because words didn't matter. And when she was in his arms, crying, holding onto him, that was the only time she felt safe.
So he never could. And there were no right words.