Author's Note: WOW! Thank you for all the reviews!! I was added to 2 people's favorite authors list and that means SO VERY MUCH to me!! Alrighty, well, this chapter is some character development and a little mushy stuff. Hope you enjoy, please review, and lemme know what you think!

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As they rode their bikes to their last delivery a week later, Alec asked Kris, "What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"Hmm..."

"Cuz I doubt you went to your parents at six years old and told them you wanted to work in the delivery business," Alec added.

She laughed. "I guess I would have to say a teacher," she answered.

"Seriously?" He got off his bike and she followed. They walked down a dingy alley, trying to find the location of their package's destination.

"Yeah. When I was a kid, I thought it was so cool that teachers got a two month break in the summer. After second grade I wanted to teach second grade and after fourth, I wanted to teach fourth. And then I got to high school and realized how boring school is and so being a teacher would have been miserable."

Alec laughed. "I think you would have made a cool teacher."

"No, I don't have the patience for it," she replied.

"What? You have a crazy amount of patience. Just look at me. You've been really patient with my crap and it's been stated more than once that I am a big baby," Alec conceded.

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?" he asked.

"But I like being with you. I don't think I would like being with a room full of fourth graders."

Alec was about to say something when someone behind them mocked, "Aw...that's so sweet."

Kris and Alec spun around to see two burly thugs with knives closing in on them. Alec sighed with relief that it wasn't White or one of his breeding-cult goons, but still, this was a dangerous situation.

"Look, fellas, we don't want any trouble," Alec said, holding up his hands, but stepping in front of Kris to protect her.

"Neither do we," a voice said from the opposite end of the alley that Kris and Alec had just been facing. Kris spun around. Two more guys with knives were on that end. She began to panic.

This was scarily similar to what happened to them about five months ago, when White and his men surrounded them and beat up Alec badly. But these guys could feel pain, which was a good thing at that moment.

"Yeah, we just want your money and the girl," a third guy added.

She couldn't believe these guys had coordinated this attack on them. That meant that they must have been followed, which meant that those thugs could have heard all they had been talking about. Now Kris was really panicking. Did they want her because they were hired by White? Or did they just want her because they were sick perverts?

"You can have the money, but the girl stays with me," Alec answered forcefully. No way were they getting Kris, no way.

The other guy facing Kris finally spoke, staring at her like she was a piece of steak. "No deal," he said.

Kris couldn't decide if this was a comforting fact or a gross one. Perhaps it was both. She now knew that they weren't working for White, but the prospect of having that guy touch her almost made her hurl right there.

"I think you should reconsider our offer," the first thug said as the four closed in on Alec and Kris.

"No thanks," Alec spat out.

He looked around quickly; there was nowhere Kris could hide or escape. He could take two easily at once, hell, even three, but four got messy, and he knew she would have to be responsible for defending herself. But he wanted to make sure she would be safe.

Kris and he were back to back now, each facing two guys.

"Shit," he whispered, under his breath.

"Don't worry about me. I can take these guys, Sean taught me," she said, her voice wavering slightly as she prepared to fight.

"If there's an opening, run," Alec said.

"Hell no, I'm not leaving you." Alec was always there for her and she wasn't about to flee when trouble faced both of them.

However, she hadn't really fought an enemy ever, let alone two. Sean was always her opponent, but she was afraid she'd hurt him, so she always held back while they practiced. She mentally laughed at the irony of not wanting to hurt him when he couldn't have felt the pain anyways.

Alec was about to argue with her when a knife flashed across his face.

All of the sudden a guy swung at Kris. She blocked his punch to her face but then the second guy punched her in the gut. She slammed against a wall of the alley and gasped for air but quickly had to duck to avoid getting her face smashed in. The guy's punched connected to the wall and he cussed furiously, clutching his bleeding hand. She swept her legs across the floor and the guy who had tried to punch her in the face landed on his back. The guy with the bloody fist ran towards her with the knife in hand and though she tried to dodge his attack, the knife sliced into her arm.

She cried out in pain, stumbling back against the other side of the alley.

"Yeah, feel it, bitch," the guy said, smiling wickedly.

Now that she thought about it, this was the guy who was looking at her like she was meat. He advanced onto her, but suddenly Alec charged at him from the side, knocking him to his feet.

"Don't you dare call her that again!" Alec yelled as he punched the guy fiercely. Kris looked over to see the two guys Alec had been fighting unconscious on the ground. When she turned back to see Alec, he was still punching the guy who cut her.

Alec froze, realizing that the man below him was terribly bloody and near death. He blinked several times, trying to assess what just happened. He had enjoyed punching that guy. Not only to get him back for hurting Kris, but he had truly liked the adrenaline rush it gave him.

He suddenly felt sick. Was he that bad of a person? Wait, was he even a person? Did real people actually enjoy hurting others like that? It was as though he had regressed ten years and he was back at Manticore, being taught that it was good to inflict pain and suffering on others.

No, it's not right, he thought to himself.

"Alec?" Kris whispered by his side, trying to get his attention.

Alec turned to her, a distant look in his eyes.

"C'mon," she said, helping him off the man with her uninjured arm. He got up and they walked towards their bikes.

"Are you alright?" he finally asked, looking at her and her bleeding arm.

"Yeah, it's not very deep. I should have been faster though," she replied, getting on her bike.

"Can you ride back?" he asked her absently. Though he knew he should be caring about her well-being more, he was so preoccupied with his own thoughts.

"Yeah." She honestly wasn't sure, blood was flowing down her sleeve, but she was more concerned with whatever Alec was thinking and feeling at that moment. "We'll wait a couple of minutes, then call the police, okay?" she added.

"Yeah." he said, getting his cell phone out as they biked slowly back to Jam Pony.

"What the hell happened to you?" Normal asked, running out of his office to help Kris once she and Alec had gotten back.

"Four jerks surrounded us with knives," Kris said, sitting down on a bench while Alec went to get bandages and disinfectant.

"Ah, shit," Normal replied, rolling up her sleeve to get a better look at the cut.

"It's not bad," Kris insisted. It hurt like crazy, but she was well aware that it could have been worse.

Alec came back, kneeling down on the floor to see her cut. "They wanted money and Kris," he explained as he wet some cotton with water.

"Sick bastards," Normal muttered under his breath.

"We called the police once we were out of the area," Alec added. "We saw them go by, so I'm pretty sure they're off the streets now."

A worried crowd gathered around Kris and Alec until Normal finally had to say, "Alright people, show's over, get back to work!"

Alec cleaned her wound gently and then disinfected it. It stung so badly that Kris began tearing. How did Alec stand it when she had cleaned him up after he had fought Sean? She felt like such a wuss just then, but it hurt tremendously.

"Sorry," Alec said sadly. He finally got out of his trance once he saw Kris' wound, but that only made him feel even more guilty. He had enjoyed beating up that guy on top of letting Kris get hurt.

"No, no, it's cool. I dunno why I'm tearing, it's like I can't control my eyes," she replied, feigning casualness.

"Probably cuz it hurts like a mother," Normal said, angrily. "Listen you too, take the rest of the day off, I don't wanna see you in here till ten in the morning tomorrow," Normal insisted.

"Really, it's not a big deal," Kris insisted, regaining control over her eyes.

"I don't wanna hear that. You two, out of here right now," Normal replied firmly.

Alec nodded his head and slowly followed Kris out of Jam Pony once she was bandaged.

"God, it wasn't a big deal. I mean, it could have been, but it wasn't. And though I appreciate Normal's gesture and everything, it wasn't necessary," Kris ranted as they walked back to her apartment.

Alec nodded in silence.

Once they got to the entrance of her building, Alec wouldn't follow her.

"Are you coming?" she asked him from the top step once she realized he wasn't behind her.

He looked up at her. She seemed fine, shaken up, sure, but fine. Alec, on the other hand, was an internal train wreck. He had no idea what to think of himself. The image of that guy beneath him and his own enjoyment in that thug's pain resonated throughout his body and disgusted him.

He sighed, he didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve to be happy when he was capable and willing to inflict such suffering. But no, he wasn't willing. His heart knew it was wrong...

"Alec?" Kris asked worriedly, walking down to the first step to be eye-level with him.

He refused to look at her.

"Aaaallllecccc..." Kris taunted lightly, lifting his chin so he would have to look at her. What was going on with him? She couldn't understand.

"I'm gonna take a walk," he said, looking at her briefly and then turning away.

She frowned. What was wrong with him? She was fine, she wasn't dead. He had defended her, she had defended him, it was all good. But no, apparently not.

"Alec, what is it?" she asked softly, intertwining their fingers.

He shook his head. "Look, it's nothing. I just need to take a walk," he insisted.

She hated when he did this, when he pushed her away. What could she do to make him understand that she wanted to be there for him? To...to love him...

"Alright," she replied, letting go of his hand. She kissed him briefly and he walked away.

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One hour went by. And then two. And then three. And then four. And then five. They had left work at four and now it was nine, and still no Alec in sight. Who would take five hour walks?

Kris roamed her apartment, using the five hours to try to figure out what would possess Alec to act the way he was acting. She replayed the whole situation in her mind. They fought, that guy cut her, Alec tackled him, they fought, Alec beat him up, they got away, they called the police, the thugs are in jail. It was all pretty simple in her opinion, yet something triggered Alec's strange behavior.

Suddenly, Alec was at the doorway of her bedroom, watching her pace around like a maniac.

"Hey, where have you been?" Kris asked, unable to hide the worry in her voice.

"Walking," he replied.

She sighed with exasperation. "For five hours?" she asked impatiently.

"Basically," he replied.

"What the hell, Alec?"

"What? What do you want from me?" he replied, annoyed.

"I just wanna know what's wrong. What happened today to make you act so weird?" she asked.

"It was nothing."

"Bullshit Alec! C'mon, just talk to me about it. Don't do this shutting-me-out crap!" she said, practically yelling.

He cringed. Another fight. So many fights...

"You wouldn't understand," he replied evasively.

"Oh, please...don't gimme that excuse. Why don't you just tell me and have me judge what I do and do not understand?" she replied, frustrated.

He shook his head. "No, you don't get it. I don't want you to understand, I never want you to understand!" he replied cryptically.

What was he talking about? Kris had no clue. "What do you mean?" she asked, quietly now.

Alec looked at her lost face. He knew she wanted to help him. He knew he wanted her help. But how could she help him? She would never understand that carnal part of him that usually remained hidden...up to today when he was beating that jerk to death. He never wanted her to fall victim to that.

He sat on her bed. "I'm a monster, Kris," he said softly.

"What?" she asked, surprised. Where did that come from?

"I liked beating the shit out of that guy."

"Well, he was a jerk..."

"No, that's not it," Alec said, cutting her off. "I liked hurting him, watching the blood sputter out of his mouth because I had knocked his teeth out. I liked making him suffer," Alec said, a mixture of disgust and pride in his voice.

Kris looked at him strangely, not knowing what to say. What could she say to that?

"And you know what the kicker is?" Alec added. "The kicker is that I've been playing this game with myself for over a year, telling myself that that's not who I am. I'm not this bloodthirsty monster, no, of course not. What a joke. And you know what? Before, I could beat a guy to death and not feel anything. It was my job, and I did it, and that was it. Now, I have this gnawing guilt in me cuz I feel bad for practically killing someone. So, what am I, then? Before, I knew exactly who I was. I was a genetically engineered soldier who did his duty. Simple. Now...now I'm this prick who can't even protect his girlfriend from getting hurt and so to make himself feel better, beats the shit out the guy who hurt her. And this prick enjoys it, gets a thrill out of tasting another man's blood in his mouth. But oh, no...that's not who he is, right? No, he's this caring, thoughtful guy, begging for redemption for his previous life, but falling into his old ways quicker that he can say monster," Alec said sarcastically and cruelly.

She hated Alec's self-deprecation. She was scared, of course, because she did see Alec beat up that guy. She didn't know he enjoyed it, but she did see it. He was willing to kill him, but something stopped him. She saw this too. But she also saw that other side of Alec that he didn't show as often at he could. That vulnerable side. Alec seemed to have forgotten it now.

"So, what? Do you want to go back to your old life?" Kris asked.

"Seems unavoidable," he replied coldly.

"No, you're just finding excuses," she retorted.

"What?" he said angrily. What right did she have to say to him that he was making excuses? She, the good girl who wouldn't have a clue about all this crap he was experiencing. "I knew you wouldn't understand," he added. But he was grateful for that; she was innocent in that respect.

"I don't understand your past, you're right. But, I have known you for over a year, and I've seen the man you've become. And I know that the thoughtful side of yourself that you see as a weakness, is probably your greatest strength. You seem to think that you're just lying to yourself now, that the uglier side of you is gonna pop up any minute and take you over, but it's not happening. You didn't kill that guy, and yet you still feel bad. That's compassion, that's guilt. You suppressed that side of you, it didn't conquer you. And it won't unless you let it. Don't you see? You know exactly who you are, you're just scared because it's harder being this person than the person you were before," Kris replied.

Alec gulped hard, thinking about what she said. She was right. How was it that she knew him so well? How was it that she just...understood him?

There was a long silence.

Then, Alec said quietly, "Sometimes I wish I was back at Manticore. It was terrible there, but it was easier. Didn't have to really deal with the human side of yourself. And if you did, they just brainwashed you and you forgot it again."

Kris looked at him sadly. She walked over to him and sat in his lap, hugging his neck gently with one of her arms.

"It is hard, dealing with all the crappy human emotions and stuff, but that's part of truly living. And I'd rather feel the goods and the bads rather than feel nothing at all," she whispered.

Alec nodded slowly. "You're just really good at dealing with the bads," he said.

She smiled. "More practice, that's all," she joked.

He chuckled. Alec slowly turned his head to his left to look at her whole face. She was breathtaking. Her eyes sparkled, she was smiling, she just gave off this comforting glow that enveloped both of them, reassuring him that everything would be alright.

"Thank you," he said. It was amazing how she could make him feel better.

"Of course," she replied, kissing him temple, and stroking his cheek.

He inhaled and exhaled deeply. They were silent for a while again as she sat in his lap, gently touching his face with her fingertips and lips. Alec knew he had to tell her what he should have told her a week ago, but how would she react?

"I want to tell you something," Alec said softly, breaking the comfortable silence around them.

"Okay," she said.

She felt him fidget uncomfortably

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm better than okay," he replied, hugging her waist.

"So...what is it?" she asked.

"You...you changed me or I changed because of you, I'm not sure. I guess what bothered me today was that I've tried to be a good person for you, but I failed," he confessed.

"Be a good person for yourself, not me," she said.

Alec nodded. He would try. "It's just this whole caring-about-someone-else-more-than-yourself thing is so...intense. I mean, it's never been like this. All my actions affect you. I never thought I would want this kinda thing in my life, but then I met you and got to know you and you completely turned me inside out. Instead of just wanting a one night stand, I realized that I wanted you, all of you, the whole package and I never understood how it would affect me. But that's okay, I'm learning to deal with it. And it's all worth it because I...I..." he trailed off.

She had a feeling she knew what he would say. And as much as she wanted to hear it, she didn't want it to be forced out of him.

"You don't have to say it, Alec, it's okay," she said quietly.

He shook his head. "No, I want you to hear it from me, it's just that...it hurts," he admitted, referring to all the pent up emotions that caused him to ache inside. It felt like Alec was about to burst until he finally heard the words softly escape from his lips, "I love you, Kris."

She looked at him in amazement. She didn't think he was actually going to say it, she would have understood if he couldn't, but he did. He did. She couldn't believe he had given that to her. It was completely...fantastic.

"I love you too, Alec," she whispered.

Alec mentally froze that moment and all these feelings inside of him to remember forever. It was like his chest was on fire. He felt so indestructible, so safe, so...fulfilled.

"How the hell did I get this lucky?" he whispered in wonderment.

"I could say the same thing," Kris said, smiling.

Alec chuckled. "I think you just gave me a line," he teased.

"So what if I did?"

He shrugged, leaning up to kiss her.

The kiss grew more passionate and they had no desire to stop.

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"Didn't I tell you guys to come in at ten?" Normal said the next day, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. It was nine in the morning.

"I told her, but she didn't listen. She never listens," Alec teased, walking into Jam Pony with Kris.

"What can I say, Normal, sir? I couldn't stay away," Kris replied, smiling.

Normal smirked. She looked a lot better than she did yesterday, and so, for that matter, did Alec.

"Hey, guys, you feeling alright, Kris?" Sketchy asked, coming up to Kris and giving her a hug. "I heard about yesterday. It sounded like you kicked major ass..."

"Sh..." Alec said quickly, looking at the television screen.

An anchorwoman appeared on the screen. "We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you live, breaking news."

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Author's Note: I made this chapter extra long because I haven't written the next one yet, so I'm not sure how long it will take to write and get posted. What did you think? I wanted to put the whole "I love you" thing in there cuz I figured Kris deserved to hear it from Alec and Alec deserved to hear it from Kris. They've already gone through so much crap. Okay, well, the next chapter is coming, hopefully sooner rather than later, but with school and all, I can't guarantee anything. Thanks for reading my story and I hope you review!