Chapter 32: Descent of Twilight

"Don't cry out loud
You've gotta bear your cross
But never dream too loud
And you're tired
Tied to the next time
You realize
Your crimes" – January Friend (Goo Goo Dolls – Dizzy up the Girl)

Oblivious to the day's proceedings, the cityplanet bustled with life during the evening hours. Every minute a new life started while another ended. Life's circle rolled on as normal. Nights were usually carefree and boisterous for many of the inhabitants, but for a certain few this night was pregnant with doubts and fears. To those few involved the day had been an emotional torrent that left them drained and unsure. Every decision had consequences, be they good or bad. And it was a decision that would change the course of fate for them. As they awaited the final outcome, many of them would not find the peace they craved.

For one being in particular the coming verdict hovered over him like a cloud of doom.

The soft hiss of the door opening seemed not to disturb the occupant inside the small room. Cautiously the visitor stepped in to allow the door to close. For long minutes, noone moved, uncertain if coming was a good idea at all. But just the sight of the huddled figure dispelled all doubts. Taking a calming breath, she took the few steps to reach the corner and slowly knelt down on the ground. Unable to form the proper words, she felt compelled to place a hand on hunched shoulders.

Startled by the unexpected touch, his head rose up from it's alcove of arms and legs. Confused blue-green gems stared at her for a moment before deciding the vision before him was real. "What are you doing here?" His cultured tones a hair above a whisper.

Looking down for a moment before glancing toward the door, the Calamaran answered in an equally soft voice, "Master Uvontra was able to arrange a quick visit. She's waiting for me outside."

Silence filled the gap between them. The young man seemed lost in thought once more. Another minute slowly passed before she found the courage to speak again, "Obi-Wan…I……" A nervous giggle escaped her, "I don't even know where to begin. There's so much I want to say, but somehow now that I'm here it all seems so inadequate."

He watched her with vacant eyes. "You shouldn't have come." Voice now devoid of emotion, he was a blank slate to her. It pained her to see him so empty.

Unconsciously, Bant scooted a little closer to the rogue. "I had to, I had to tell you that we all still love you very much."

Frowning, Obi could no longer hold her gaze. His eyes dropped to the tops of his knees. "You shouldn't be here. You could get in trouble for being here."

"Please, please don't send me away yet." Her heart was breaking. How could the gentle loving boy she had known long ago be gone completely? She had seen glimpses of that lost initiate on the Zenah and the Norelwind, and she desperately wanted to see him again. "Please. I don't care about your past, what they made you do. All I care about is you."

"I don't deserve your love any more. I'm no longer Jedi." He tried to shrug away from her gentle touch but he was already trapped in a corner. Besides, as he pulled back she only leaned in closer. Bant was not about to let him go yet.

"Do you honestly think that that matters to me?" Her voice was urgent and filled with passion. "Jedi or not, you will always be Obi-Wan. Criminal or not, you will always be Obi-Wan. We've all done things we are not proud of, but that doesn't mean we have to stop loving you."

Leaning his head against the wall next to him, the rogue stared out at nothing. "It would be better if you did."

"Why?" The apprentice just couldn't understand what was going through her friend's head. To her it seemed as if he had just given up. "Tell me, please. I need to know because I have to explain it to Garen and Reeft and just about everyone else who mourned your death." She waited patiently for him to respond, but he didn't.

Obi-Wan sat there retreating back within himself. The distant sea-misted gaze lost some of its brilliance as his mind contemplated other things. Bant continued to wait to see if he would ever answer her question. She watched as he seemed to be looking further and further away, far beyond this cell at something she couldn't see. She thought she had lost him again when he finally spoke. But what came out was not at all what she expected. "How are they?"

Relaxing to an extent, the Padawan smiled at the tentative question. There was a time long ago when they could hold conversations on all different topics without any rationale to the change in the topics they discussed. She was actually very happy to know that that hadn't changed between them. "They are both well." Quietly, she added as she leaned her head onto his shoulder, "I haven't told them yet that you are here. I was hoping that you would be able to tell them." The sting of tears once more in silver eyes.

"I doubt that will happen," Obi said with a sigh. "Maybe it would be best to let them think of me as dead still. That way they don't have to know what I've become."

"Please don't say such things. We must have faith that you will come back to the Jedi."

"To what purpose?" Too quickly, he asked, but then stopped himself from pushing the subject any further. "No, I'm not going to go through this again. Tomorrow my fate will finally be decided. If they make the correct choice, I hope you will come to visit me from time to time. Who knows maybe in a few years, I'll be able to lead a new life. Maybe I'll become a farmer after all." The weak joke only caused the tears building in large bulbous eyes to fall. Closing his eyes, he slumped further into the corner. "I'm sorry."

They sat in silence for a while. After a time, Bant was able to get her emotions back in check. "It's so unfair. They should never have sent you away. You were meant to be a Jedi."

"It's too late for that now. It's time for me to face up to my crimes."

"I don't want to lose you again. We need you." Her hold on his arm tightened. She feared to let go would mean she would never see him again.

Cautiously, one of the hands on his knees moved to cover the salmon hand on his arm. Obi-Wan attempted to console his best friend. "They have already survived this long without me, I think they'll be able keep on going."

===

"I've been looking for you everywhere, what are you doing here?" She entered the small conference room high up in one of the Temple spires. Sitting in one of the seats, rubbing at his chin sat Qui-Gon Jinn. He didn't even look at her as she entered. Concerned, Tahl walked over to take the seat next to him. They faced out watching the evening traffic. "Uulia just took Bant over to the CSF complex where Obi-Wan is. With the future so uncertain, I thought it would best that she talk to Obi-Wan tonight. I think they both need the support."

She paused, waiting for him to say something but still he was lost in his own thoughts. She allowed the silence to continue for a while until it finally became too much. "What's wrong Qui? You're abnormally quiet. You weren't like this when we first got back, so what's happened?"

For the first time since she arrived, he tore his gaze away from the window and dropped it down to his lap. His whole body tensed and he took a few deep breaths to find his center once more. "I had a talk with Master Yoda."

There was something in the deep baritone that worried her. Leaning forward, searching his leonine features for a hint of what was troubling him, she asked, "And?"

Qui-Gon used both hands to rub his face. "He told me he went to Obi-Wan last night. He also told me what he said to Obi-Wan while he was there." He placed his elbows on his knees and steepled his hands in front of him, the tips of his forefingers resting against his lips.

Tahl knew instantly that whatever the diminutive verdant Master had said deeply effected the Knight. He was always a contemplative man, but it was rare when he avoided a subject with her. They had been friends for so long, there was no topic forbidden between them, yet it was obvious he was reluctant to discuss this. And if it upset the man this much it could only be because it involved Obi-Wan. Cautiously, she prompted, "Is that why Obi-Wan was so distracted today?"

"It is the only reason I can come up with."

Still, he didn't elaborate on the details. It was starting to frustrate her that he wasn't as forthcoming as usual. However, she knew that he needed her to be calm and collected. Tahl continued to observe the Knight. The best thing for both of them right now would be to get it out in the open. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "So? What happened? He must have said something that made you this upset. So, what did Yoda tell you?"

"Yoda revealed to Obi-Wan that he was a very promising student." Qui-Gon leaned back in his seat again and began to absently rub at his chin.

Now Tahl was really confused. "Isn't that a good thing? Doesn't Obi-Wan have the right to know he was special?"

"If the circumstances are right, of course. However, Obi-Wan's mental state was not the best to handle such revelations. While on the Norelwind he asked me - No, begged me to tell him that his suffering was justifiable. That everything he went through during his captivity he deserved because there was some type of evil that was in him that needed to be punished. And that it was that evil that drove him out of the Jedi." Slowly, his hand moved to message the bridge of his nose. She recognized the gesture, he was annoyed with himself now. "All I could say to him was that it was my fault I didn't choose him. And the heartbreak that followed was unlike anything else I have ever experienced."

Tahl mulled over this new information. If Obi-Wan was looking for an answer as to why he was cast away and why the Force had punished him, than the results of Yoda's visit would have adverse affects on the boy. She had seen enough of Obi-Wan's reactions and thought processes to know how devastated he would be. Voicing her thoughts aloud, she said, "So when Yoda told him that he was a promising student it only reinforced the fact he withstood such horrors for no reason at all."

Qui-Gon nodded unable to vocalize his agreement. He was seething beneath the surface, but he wasn't a Knight for nothing. Experience showed him how to keep his emotions in check no matter the cause. The pair sat in quiet contemplation as each worked through their own thoughts and emotions.

Eventually, Tahl scooted her chair closer to him and wrapped her arms around his. Leaning her cheek on his shoulder, she said in a gentle whisper, "It's not your fault."

"What?" Crystal blue eyes looked down but couldn't see past the soft tresses to examine her beautiful features.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for everything that's happened to Obi-Wan." Amazingly, this comment managed to elicit a small smile from the man. Over the years they had become so close, that Tahl always seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. But the half-grin faded quickly as she continued. "There's just too many factors involved to pinpoint one single fault. You didn't choose him and neither did anyone else…."

"That is where you are wrong." Qui cut her off abruptly. Once again the dark tone colored his words.

Lifting her head up, green and gold eyes beseeched him. "Huh? What do you mean by that?" The implications of that statement alone caused her to worry. The desire to dispel the doubt blooming in the depths of her soul filled her. Unfortunately, she would not get the answer she was looking for.

Each word that made it past taunt lips seemed to pain the man. "In my discussion with Master Yoda, he confided in me that other Knights had requested Obi-Wan as a Padawan. But they were turned away."

It couldn't be true, her mind argued. Shaking her head, she said, "I don't understand, why would the Council deny an apprenticeship? If they could see his potential, they should have granted the request."

Suddenly restless, Qui-Gon broke free of her hold and stepped up to the window. Crossing his arms and slipping his hands into the billowing sleeves, he answered, "Not unless a certain troll declined because he was holding out for a specific Knight." He could hear her soft gasp of surprise.

"Oh, Qui, you couldn't have known. And it was foolish of them to let their own ideals get in the way." She thought for a moment then looked back up at her dearest friend with concern in her green striped eyes, "Did Yoda also tell Obi-Wan this?"

"Yes," the voice rough with emotion.

She closed her eyes and finally understood his silent fury. "Force, no wonder he was so numbed today. And having to go through that trial must have only made it worse."

"He lost the will to fight. I believe he is hoping to be executed. Then his pain would finally end."

"It's not fair, Qui. He has suffered so much, if we could only make it up to him somehow."

"What more can we do except give him as much of our support as possible? Even that, he is not ready to accept. You saw him today. He apologized for everything when it is us who should be begging his forgiveness. But he did so with the belief that he was running out of time, that his life would not continue past a few more days. And I dare say that that verdict is still a possibility."

Refusing to lose hope, Tahl stood up to stand next to her fried. "We can't think like that. Your friend Gi has put up a rather compelling argument. There is now the strong chance that Obi-Wan could be released to the Jedi after all. If we lose hope then we have forsaken Obi-Wan again."

A spark lit in sapphire eyes. "I made that mistake once before, I will never allow that to happen again. As long as the verdict does not call for his death, I will do everything in my power to make sure Obi-Wan becomes a Jedi Knight," he said with renewed conviction.

===

Still snuggled together in the corner, Bant sighed. "I won't be able to stay for much longer. I just wish I didn't have to go at all. I've missed you so much and we've already lost so much time."

Obi-Wan patted the hand wrapped around his arm. The calming gesture conveyed more that just touch. His voice gently reprimanded, "You've already been out of water too long. Your skin is getting rubbery, you need to go back."

Fresh tears formed in silver eyes. A sob hiccuped in her throat. "Why do you have to care for others before yourself? You've always made sure that Reeft had enough to eat, Garen didn't take all the blame when he got you in trouble and that I had enough moisture. You never concerned yourself with your own needs. But that doesn't stop us from wanting to repay you. I won't give up on you, Obi. And I know Qui-Gon won't either. You'll see, everyone loves you and we're going to stick with you no matter what that Panel says tomorrow."

"Please, don't get your hopes up too much." His voice rough once more as he fought the emotions burning his soul. Every dream he ever had crumbled before his eyes. It was already a weight too heavy to bear. But to witness the hopes and dreams of others get crushed was worse. If only he could save them the pain. "I don't want you to be too disappointed with their answer."

She closed her eyes for a moment. Suddenly, he voice was firmer, stronger than before. "Think what you want, Obi. But we're going to make sure you get your chance. You deserve better than this. They just need a little more time to see it."

Just then the locking mechanism kicked on. Two pairs of eyes watched as the door slid open to reveal the Koyn soul healer. Uulia gently announced, "It's time to go Bant."

"Yes, Master," Bant answered automatically. Carefully, she got to her feet. Obi-Wan didn't have the strength to follow her. He had been sitting there since the trial adjourned and was now too stiff to move without difficulty. He didn't want her to worry any more than she was over nothing but stiff joints.

Her voice so soothing to the ears, it could lull a baby to sleep, Uulia commanded, "Wait for me at the antechamber, Mys is waiting for you."

"Yes, Master." Stealing one more glance at her friend, Bant finally left.

As soon as she was down the hall, Uulia looked back at Obi-Wan. "You have quite a following. You said at the trial that you've never lived for yourself. I can see how you have done this. So I must ask you a favour. Keep on living for others, your friends need you. The Order needs you. You were lost once and alone, but you don't have to be anymore. No matter the decision, we will all be waiting for you. We will all help you if and when you need it. All you have to do is ask." She turned to leave, as she stood in the door, she paused. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan Kenobi." And then she was gone.

Obi-Wan sat there wondering what that was all about. He knew Bant's reasons for being there and was surprised that the Jedi Master would bother with a criminal even if he was once a Jedi. But her final words of encouragement baffled him. But as much as they left him questioning, he realized she had achieved her ultimate goal. She inspired him to not give up, because if he did then he would only be letting everyone down even more. And his sense of selflessness would not permit him to accept defeat as long as he had others that needed him. Cautiously, he went over to the small cot to lay down. Sleep was not as elusive as he thought and was soon drifting along the currents of dreams.

"All rise for Arbitrator Osei-Tutu." A court official announced to the congregation. Once again the petite figure walked into the room, dressed in fine robes. They sat at the same time she did.

Not wishing to delay the verdict any longer, she abruptly started, "This court is now in session. We have come here today to receive the final verdict on the question of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Will the accused please rise." Both Obi-Wan and Guillaume stood at the request. The young rogue was sullen but held himself up proudly. Osei-Tutu barely noticed for she turned to address the Panel next. "Has the Panel reached a decision?"

The foreman stood and replied in a clear, confident voice, "Yes your honour, we have."

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Mwahahahaha!! I know, I'm evil! But it's just so much fun!! ]:D

Anyway, the good news is, you will get the verdict in the beginning of the next chap. Bad news is, the next chap will be the LAST chapter of Forsaken and Begotten. A sequel is already in planning and has the working title of Reliving Shattered Dreams, so please keep an eye out for it.

In addition, I would also like to announce my new Yahoo Group that I created for my stories. It will be an open forum where you can discuss my fics and for me to give you updates on chaps. As my muses are so sporadic, and specifically here, there's no way to keep you all informed on what's happening, I decided to create the group. You may even be spoiled with drafts of chapters!!! ;) So if you are interested, the link is in my profile. Thanks again for reading everyone!!! And please continue to submit those reviews!! I'm sooooo addicted to them. ;)

Silver-Reaper – Thank you so very much!!! :D I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully, this on going saga will continue to entertain you! ;)

LOTRFaith – You know I was sooo tired last time, I never answered your question. :8} My daughter's name is Angela. Hehe. She's an Angel to everyone else except us though. ;) LOL, well, I hope you had a great party anyway!! And congratulations!! As much as I would love to kill Sauro, he's a plot advancer, so he has to live for a while yet. Sorry. :( Hey now, if you did that than you would only be proving Sano's point, my young Patience Padawan. ;p Well, as much as I don't want my fans to pass out because of my writing, I'm overjoyed to hear you were that into it!! :D Ditto, even now I feel worn out and simply existing. I'm not happy at my job any more, I want to move on but money issues prevent me. It's not like I'm single and parentless and therefore carefree enough to take risks. I have obligations, which are quite trying. So often my days pass while I'm numb to the world. And it's so true, sometimes you have to feel pain just to remind yourself that you're alive. (not that I go out of my way to feel pain or anything, just that when you do you say I guess I'm still here. ;) ) And the offer still stands. I know my life has been enhanced due to the support of so many of my fans. I feel reciprocation is the best way to show gratitude. Thanks again!!! :D

Death Rider – Hehe, I don't want to give everything away right now. There's still so much that has to be revealed yet. I hope that I still have some surprises for you even if you manage to somehow figure out most of my plots. :p Thanks, as always!! (and I think next chap is going to throw everyone for a loop! ]: p)

Fudge – Thank you, thank you. I was actually afraid that may be pushing it too far. But it just seemed like something he would do, so the muse demanded it be there. Glad I listened. ;) Oh yes, Yoda definitely has some meddling to answer for, but I'll have to get to that at another time. I hope your guess is right. I think the verdict may still shock a few people. ]:D Can't wait!! Hehe. Thanks again for everything!!! :D

YLJedi – Thanks! I must say the verdict was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. But I think it's for the best, better story and better drama. Don't worry, Griven will make at least one more appearance. I just hope you all like what I do. Thanks again!! :D

Delphine Pryde – I will do my best, but you really must talk to the muse about that one. Remember, she's really in control here. ;) Thanks for reading!! :D

Amazed – Well, looks like I'll only be getting the Arldetta-san stuff here. I decided to go with a completely different penname for my Anime works. I've decided to go with 'dorei no ryu' which should hopefully translate to 'slave of the dragon' or 'dragon's slave.' Although, I'm not entirely sure about that. Anyway, as much as I'm a slave to my muses, I do so enjoy torturing my readers. ];) Sorry no Qui/Yoda scene per se, but I do hope you liked how I did handle it. I really wanted to bring Tahl back and the muse provided me with a means to do it. And that is one reason why I mentioned it so much. The jury must make a decision, one way or another. No matter their choice someone will think it's either right or wrong. The whole situation isn't clear-cut so no answer will be absolute. Next chap I think will be eye opening for a lot of people. I hope you like it. ;) Thanks for the encouragement! (but I think it hit the wrong muses. ;p)

Snow-Glory – I would change it legally if I could, but I don't think it sounds right with my real name. ;) Maybe I should just change it all to read Arldetta, Angst Queen Extraordinaire! Um, I hope you can wait a bit longer. That verdict is still a bit off. ;) Hope you like the outcome.

K-Rock – Moi?? Evil? Whatever are you talking about? Oh, you mean the cliffies and angst and such. Well, in that case, yeah, I'm evil! And dang proud of it. ]:D Thanks for joining my group already, we can start discussing RH now. Hehe. Catch you later!! :D

Shan – Yeah, I thought so too. But emotions are so much fun to play with. ;) And I still have you all waiting on that verdict. Hehe. :p Yes, despite the fact he has a few people that have forced him to make certain decisions, with Sano's prosecution, he has realized that he did make those decisions regardless. Oh, yes, Griven will be back. I want to find resolution there as much as everyone else. ;) I know, but my hubby said he wouldn't drive a car with that on it. :( Of course, then I wouldn't worry about him taking my car. But I would prefer his consent. Maybe I'll get one that says Arldetta. He said he could deal with that even though it sounds girly. ;) Thank you, Thank you!! Since I haven't gone to bed yet, I still consider it my birthday today even though it's 2:15 am here. Lol. Well, glad you like. And can't wait to see your reaction to the end. :D Later!!

Once again, I'm at the bottom of my Chap. Thanks again for reading everyone!!! :D And don't forge to leave a review!!