Chapter 4
"Well?" Lucas prompted, his arms crossed defiantly over his chest.
Sami narrowed her eyes and mirrored his stance. "Tell me."
Sami watched as the blood rushed from his face and his confident exterior cracked.
"What?" he asked in surprise, his voice quavering nervously.
Sami fed off his uncertainty, raising her eyebrows in faint amusement at the sudden change in attitude. "You heard me. Tell me why you unexpectedly decided to leave Salem."
He took a deep breath. She could see the tug of war he was experiencing inside his head. Should he risk telling her the truth? This could make or break their relationship.
"And don't give me any crap about you having to get away from all the killings, because obviously, at least according to you, that isn't enough to make you want to take a vacation," Sami's voice snapped him back into reality.
"There goes that excuse," he thought ruefully.
"I'm waiting Lucas," Sami tapped her foot to express her impatience.
"It was you," he snapped.
Sami looked like she had been slapped. "Excuse me?"
"Damn, I didn't mean it to come out like that," Lucas mentally scolded himself.
"You left Salem to get away from me?" Sami took a shaky breath. "I thought we were getting along better Lucas, but you left our family, our son, just to get away from me? Do you still hate me? Oh my god Lucas..." she trailed off, mumbling incoherently under her breath.
"No Sami," he rushed over and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "No, not like that."
"Than like what?" she yelled hysterically. She surprised even herself in how she reacted to his rejection.
"Our relationship has grown these past few months, and before I could decided what I wanted to happen, I needed to spend some time away from you," Lucas told her softly.
Sami's confusion was evident in her clear blue eyes. "To see if you liked life better without me?"
"No," Lucas shook his head adamantly. "I know what life's like without you, and it is not the life I want."
Sam smiled slightly and her eyes brightened.
"I know this is probably the farthest thing from your mind, but I needed to decided if I want to pursue you, if I want to have a relationship with you," Lucas averted his eyes from her intense gaze.
"Why did you need to leave Salem to do that?" Sami commanded, forcing his eyes back to hers.
"In Salem there are so many distractions. With my mother around, it's hard to know whether I'm drawn to you because it's the opposite of what she wants or if it's because I really am attracted to you. Or for that matter, if its attraction or lust or if I need someone to cling to or if I enjoy being the one you cling to. There's just so much going on!" Lucas paced the room, spilling his deepest fears to the one who scared him the most.
Sami was silent, to his surprise, though he was unsure whether it was because she was in shock or if she was waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath and decided to take the plunge.
"I wanted to know if my heart would ache when you're gone. If I would be beside myself missing you. If I felt that just hearing your voice would make me happier than I've ever been. I wanted to figure out if I love you," Lucas stopped right in front of her, bracing himself for the question he knew was coming.
"Do you?" Sami asked right on cue.
Lucas nodded and Sami felt like she was on Cloud Nine. Then she noticed his grim expression and she came crashing back down to Earth.
"But is that enough Sami? Is this going to end as soon as we get back to Salem? Or the first time my mother or someone from your family tells us they don't approve of our relationship? Or if Austin or Brandon ever come back to town? Or if you realize you're actually in a lasting relationship and get scared? I needed to decide if this relationship was worth all the heartache, if you were worth it." By this time, Lucas was short of breath and for the first time he realized the impact his words must have had on Sami.
She looked more scared than he had ever seen her. Tears were pooling in the corners of her eyes, ready to join the ones that had already cascaded down her porcelain white cheeks. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and she nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Finally she spoke, in a tight, broken voice.
"And did you decide?"
"Yes."
They stood, gazing at each other intently, knowing their fate depended on Lucas' next words.
It took them a few minutes to hear the quiet rapping on the door.
"Ms. Brady? Mr. Roberts?" a voice soon accompanied the tapping.
Lucas was the first to break, striding over to answer the door.
"Yes?" he asked, trying to calm his rapid breathing.
"Um, we have another room available, we can move you right now if you'd like," a bellhop told him merrily.
"Okay...okay. Sure," Lucas flew by Sami to collect his bags and with an ominous bang of the door, he was gone.
"Well?" Lucas prompted, his arms crossed defiantly over his chest.
Sami narrowed her eyes and mirrored his stance. "Tell me."
Sami watched as the blood rushed from his face and his confident exterior cracked.
"What?" he asked in surprise, his voice quavering nervously.
Sami fed off his uncertainty, raising her eyebrows in faint amusement at the sudden change in attitude. "You heard me. Tell me why you unexpectedly decided to leave Salem."
He took a deep breath. She could see the tug of war he was experiencing inside his head. Should he risk telling her the truth? This could make or break their relationship.
"And don't give me any crap about you having to get away from all the killings, because obviously, at least according to you, that isn't enough to make you want to take a vacation," Sami's voice snapped him back into reality.
"There goes that excuse," he thought ruefully.
"I'm waiting Lucas," Sami tapped her foot to express her impatience.
"It was you," he snapped.
Sami looked like she had been slapped. "Excuse me?"
"Damn, I didn't mean it to come out like that," Lucas mentally scolded himself.
"You left Salem to get away from me?" Sami took a shaky breath. "I thought we were getting along better Lucas, but you left our family, our son, just to get away from me? Do you still hate me? Oh my god Lucas..." she trailed off, mumbling incoherently under her breath.
"No Sami," he rushed over and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "No, not like that."
"Than like what?" she yelled hysterically. She surprised even herself in how she reacted to his rejection.
"Our relationship has grown these past few months, and before I could decided what I wanted to happen, I needed to spend some time away from you," Lucas told her softly.
Sami's confusion was evident in her clear blue eyes. "To see if you liked life better without me?"
"No," Lucas shook his head adamantly. "I know what life's like without you, and it is not the life I want."
Sam smiled slightly and her eyes brightened.
"I know this is probably the farthest thing from your mind, but I needed to decided if I want to pursue you, if I want to have a relationship with you," Lucas averted his eyes from her intense gaze.
"Why did you need to leave Salem to do that?" Sami commanded, forcing his eyes back to hers.
"In Salem there are so many distractions. With my mother around, it's hard to know whether I'm drawn to you because it's the opposite of what she wants or if it's because I really am attracted to you. Or for that matter, if its attraction or lust or if I need someone to cling to or if I enjoy being the one you cling to. There's just so much going on!" Lucas paced the room, spilling his deepest fears to the one who scared him the most.
Sami was silent, to his surprise, though he was unsure whether it was because she was in shock or if she was waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath and decided to take the plunge.
"I wanted to know if my heart would ache when you're gone. If I would be beside myself missing you. If I felt that just hearing your voice would make me happier than I've ever been. I wanted to figure out if I love you," Lucas stopped right in front of her, bracing himself for the question he knew was coming.
"Do you?" Sami asked right on cue.
Lucas nodded and Sami felt like she was on Cloud Nine. Then she noticed his grim expression and she came crashing back down to Earth.
"But is that enough Sami? Is this going to end as soon as we get back to Salem? Or the first time my mother or someone from your family tells us they don't approve of our relationship? Or if Austin or Brandon ever come back to town? Or if you realize you're actually in a lasting relationship and get scared? I needed to decide if this relationship was worth all the heartache, if you were worth it." By this time, Lucas was short of breath and for the first time he realized the impact his words must have had on Sami.
She looked more scared than he had ever seen her. Tears were pooling in the corners of her eyes, ready to join the ones that had already cascaded down her porcelain white cheeks. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and she nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Finally she spoke, in a tight, broken voice.
"And did you decide?"
"Yes."
They stood, gazing at each other intently, knowing their fate depended on Lucas' next words.
It took them a few minutes to hear the quiet rapping on the door.
"Ms. Brady? Mr. Roberts?" a voice soon accompanied the tapping.
Lucas was the first to break, striding over to answer the door.
"Yes?" he asked, trying to calm his rapid breathing.
"Um, we have another room available, we can move you right now if you'd like," a bellhop told him merrily.
"Okay...okay. Sure," Lucas flew by Sami to collect his bags and with an ominous bang of the door, he was gone.