WRITTEN BY EDREYA NATALYA
Who is not currently in possession of any of the characters, places, or names used herein. Neither is she responsible for any anger, umbrage, or offense taken at the use of the aforesaid characters &c. in this story.
The Shocking Question of Sandry's Language
Absorbed in her thoughts, Lady Sandrilene fa Toren walked through the palace's guard-flanked front door. She had just returned from teaching- or rather, attempting to teach- a very advanced piece of magic to her young protege, Pasco. However, by the end of the lesson, he had still not mastered the new concept. All the way home, Sandry had been pondering how best to explain it to him. But her mind was infuriatingly devoid of ideas. Perhaps after supper she would visit Winding Circle Temple to consult with other mages...
Sandry was jarred from her thoughts as she suddenly stumbled over an uneven flagstone in the entry hall floor, twisting her ankle and falling to the ground in an undignified heap.
"Cat dirt!" she exclaimed, and followed it with several much coarser expressions she had learned from her foster-brother, the ex-thief Briar Moss. Still cursing, she sat up, and rubbed her ankle.
The sight of the usually dignified great-niece of their ruler sprawled cursing on the floor was too much for the guards, who burst out laughing. Sandry flushed and got sheepishly to her feet, sending the guards a self-conscious grin. Then she too began to laugh, realizing how ridiculous she must have looked.
Loud footsteps heralded the Duke's arrival. He stormed angrily into the hall. The guards and Sandry froze, and hastily tried to compose themselves under the stern gaze of the ruler of all Emelan.
"Sandrilene, I am most disappointed you, " Duke Vedris declared. "What on earth has possessed you to act in such a vulgar and unseemly manner?!"
Sandry didn't dare answer for fear she would start laughing again. Luckily for her, the duke had only begun his tirade, and did not expect an answer.
"You were brought up to know better than to speak in such a filthy way. Honestly, I don't know what has gotten into you these days!"
"I'm sorry, Uncle," Sandry gasped. "I couldn't help it."
One of the guards snickered. Vedris raised his eyebrows, and then said sternly, "You must control yourself, Sandrilene. You are a young lady. Young ladies do not demean themselves by speaking so crudely. There is no excuse for such a lack of decorum. You must set an example."
"I said I was sorry," Sandry repeated, annoyed.
"A mere apology us not enough for such a serious offense!" cried Vedris. "Your behavior was entirely inappropriate!"
"Well, Uncle," Sandry answered, "sometimes 'cat dirt' just isn't strong enough. I am sorry though."
"Sandrilene!" shouted the Duke. "Do I have to wash your mouth out with soap, young lady? If you continue to spew such obscenities, that will be my only recourse."
"But I didn't say anything bad just now!" Sandry objected. "All I said was 'cat dirt'-"
"SANDRILENE! I have been more than patient. Now, hold your tongue while I consider how to deal with you!" ordered her irate uncle.
Several of the guards exchanged mirthful grins and bit their lips to keep from laughing aloud. Meanwhile, Sandry refused to be silenced.
"You're over-reacting, Uncle! It was just a few harmless words!"
"Dare I believe my ears? Harmless? My dear girl, that sort of talk degrades the speaker, poisons the mind, blisters the tongue, and is the most vile, vulgar offense that can be committed! It is the talk of harlots, not that of sweet, innocent young girls!" bellowed Vedris.
"Maybe I'm not a sweet, innocent little girl anymore," Sandry retorted. "I've grown up. I'm an adult mage, and you can't control me anymore! I don't have to answer to you about anything!"
For a moment, Duke Vedris was rendered speechless. Then he thundered, "I am your guardian. Until you are of age, I am responsible for you. This responsibility includes curbing your willful, vulgar spirit. Now, for the last time, HOLD YOUR TONGUE!"
"Excuse me?" Sandry didn't believe her ears.
"You heard me, Sandrilene!" was the emphatic reply. Vedris's steely eyes dared his niece to defy him.
This exchange proved too much for the guards. They began howling with laughter, slapping each other on the back, and falling to the ground.
"Silence!" ordered the duke. It took several minutes for the command to be obeyed. Even then, it was an uneasy silence, punctuated by an occasional snort or muffled giggle.
"Now, Sandrilene," said her uncle, "you will retire to your chamber, there to remain until I see fit to release you. Am I understood?"
"Perfectly," Sandry spat, marching stiffly up the stairs. She stopped outside the door to her room and called down, "You can do whatever you want to me, but you can't control me- or my words. I can say whatever I want. *@^* ****** *@*@^^!" She jerked the door open and hurled herself inside. The sound of the door slam that followed reverberated through the now-still entry hall.
"Cat dirt," Vedris muttered, causing the guards to guffaw. Flushing bright red, the ruler of all Emelan glared at his guards, then strode quickly from the hall.