Jeffrey looked down at Sandy, asleep on the bed. He was relieved to find him in a quiet, and seemingly peaceful, slumber. He wasn't groaning or speaking or struggling as Ed and Reva had described. He was just asleep. Jeffrey rested his head against the chair and sighed. He was so tired. The past day would've been completely exhausting, even if he had gotten some sleep. But in his sleep-deprived state, it was even worse. He probably should've gone to the Beacon and gotten some rest before he headed back here, but he wanted to be with Sandy. He squeezed Sandy's hand in his own. "I love you…" he whispered before drifting off to sleep himself.
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Sandy awoke to feel a hand gripping his own. He was still half-asleep, in an almost dazed state. When he opened his eyes, there was only one thing that he saw. The badge. And in that moment it all came rushing back to him. All the fear. The sheer terror that he had felt. "GET AWAY!" He screamed, jerking back as he pulled his hand away. "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" He was shaking and tears had begun to stream down his face.
"Sandy…" Jeffrey mumbled as he awoke. "Sandy…" he repeated, becoming more lucid, opening his eyes to see him there, shaking. "Sandy, it's me…" he said.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Sandy screamed again, his eyes locked onto Jeffrey's badge. "GET AWAY!!! PLEASE…" he pleaded. "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"
Jeffrey got out of the chair. "Sandy, it's just me…" he repeated. "All right. I won't touch you. I'm not gonna hurt you. You know that I would never hurt you. I'm sorry. I'll just... I'll leave…" He really didn't want to leave Sandy alone in this condition, but if it was what Sandy wanted, if it was what Sandy needed right now, then he wouldn't resist him. He began to walk slowly towards the door.
It took Sandy a few seconds to realize where he was and who he was with. "Jeffrey…" he whispered, looking up at him, still visibly shaken.
"Yes…" Jeffrey, said, turning back around to face him. "It's me baby… I'm right here…"
Sandy was still panting and shaking with fear. "I saw that… I thought you were…" he turned away from him and began to sob.
Jeffrey knew that he couldn't leave him alone like this. He walked back over to him and wrapped his arms around him; as best he could without hurting him. "It's OK…" he whispered, running a hand through Sandy's soft, dark hair. "It's OK Sandy…" he said.
Sandy cried on Jeffrey's shoulder. He just needed to get all of his emotions out right now. When he finally pulled away from Jeffrey, he tried not to look at it. But his eyes were inevitably drawn back down. "TAKE IT OFF!" He screamed.
Jeffrey was confused. "What? Sandy, take what off?"
"Badge…" Sandy said, more quietly now. "Please…"
Jeffrey took his badge off and stuck it in his back pocket, out of Sandy's sight. He didn't want to push him too much, but he knew that Sandy needed to get this out. He gripped his hand again, looking into his eyes. He swallowed nervously before asking, "Was he wearing a badge?"
Sandy's eyes seemed to cloud with fear again. "Don't wanna talk…" he said, turning away as much as he could without causing himself any more pain.
That was the answer Jeffrey had expected. He squeezed Sandy's hand and said, "You know that I'm right here if you change your mind… I love you, Sandy… You can tell me anything…"
Sandy looked into Jeffrey's eyes and said nothing. He didn't want to talk about this right now. He didn't even want to think about this right now. He just wanted to forget. "Love you too…" he said.
Jeffrey kept his eyes locked onto Sandy's. "I mean it you know…" he said, trying his best to keep his voice sounding comforting and not pushy. "Sandy, you can tell me…"
Sandy looked up into Jeffrey's eyes. "There were two of them…" he said. "One held me down while the other one…" he was shaking again, unable to finish his sentence coherently.
"It's OK Sandy…" Jeffrey said reassuringly. "It's OK…"
Sandy swallowed nervously, making a conscious effort not to cry again. "He had a badge just like yours…"
Jeffrey nodded slightly, still gripping Sandy's hand in his own.
"His eyes, Jeffrey…" Sandy said, tears forming in his eyes once more. "His eyes were so cold… I thought that he was going to kill me… I thought that I was going to die…"
Jeffrey wrapped his arms around Sandy again, holding him against him.
"It hurt so much…" Sandy cried. "Even now… Even with the drugs it still hurts so much…"
"Do you need more drugs?" Jeffrey asked.
"They just make me sleep…" Sandy said. "They just make me sleep and dream about it… I can't get it out of my head… His badge… And his eyes… Jeffrey, I can't… I can't stop thinking about it… Every time that I close my eyes I see him. That black ski mask and that badge and those eyes. Those cold blue eyes…"
"He can't hurt you, Sandy… He can't hurt you anymore…"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO?" Sandy cried.
"He's in jail. I made sure of it. He's in jail, and he is going to rot in prison for the rest of his miserable life…"
"You don't know that…" Sandy said.
"I will make sure of it…" Jeffrey said, holding him tighter. "I swear to you… I will make sure of it…"
The realization that came to Sandy in that moment was an awful one. He pulled away from Jeffrey and started to shake again. "You… Know… Who…" He said. "You… Know… Why…"
"Sandy please…" Jeffrey said. "Please don't…"
"Tell me damn it!!!" Sandy yelled. "You know, don't you? You know why this happened! You know why this happened to me!"
"I'm sorry baby…" Jeffrey said, fighting to hold back tears himself. "I'm so, so sorry…"
"Why?" Sandy said. "Why did this happen to me?"
"Believe me… If I would've known… I would've done my best to keep you safe.
"TELL ME JEFFREY! JUST TELL ME!"
"I don't see how me explaining this to you is going to make you feel any better…"
"Please…" Sandy looked up into Jeffrey's eyes, his face still streaked with tears. "Please Jeffrey, I need to know… I need to know why…"
"Well the badge…" Jeffrey said. "I'm an FBI agent… I've been undercover working on a drug bust… At first I thought that was why… I thought the local mob boss was responsible…"
"And he's not?" Sandy said.
"I guess in some small way, maybe he helped… But…" It was hard for Jeffrey to get the words out.
"But what?" Sandy said.
"Another agent… Who I was involved with a long, long time ago… He became involved with one of the mob bosses lackey's… He leaked information to him… And he is really the one responsible for this…"
"He wants me dead…" Sandy said. "He wants me dead because of you… He's jealous of me… He's jealous of what we have…"
"Yes…" Jeffrey said. "That's basically it…"
Sandy didn't know how to react to any of this. He thought that knowing would help him to feel better, but it wasn't doing much of anything. "How do you know they'll put him away…"
"He confessed to it Sandy…" Jeffrey said. "Twice to me… And then to two others… There's no way he's going to walk on these charges… And he also tried to kill me last night… My boss walked in… He can testify to that too…"
"He tried to kill you?" Sandy asked. "What? Why does he hate you so much? Did you really hurt him that bad?"
Jeffrey sighed. "I suppose that only he could really answer that …"
Sandy sighed. He didn't want to talk about this anymore.
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