Title: Miles to Go
Author: talldarkandsexy
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters I use in this story. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB etc. (Believe me, if I owned these characters, it would be unlikely that I was posting them on )
Spoilers: End of Season 5, beginning of Season 6. And a little of the end of Season 2.
Pairings: Buffy/Angel
Rating: PG
Set: After the end of Season 6 episode "Flooded". Buffy receives a phone call from Angel at the end of that episode, and rushes off immediately.
Summary: After receiving a short phone call from Angel, Buffy gets on a bus to a small 24-hour café somewhere in between Sunnydale and L.A. She meets Angel to talk, but can she tell him about where she was? Or does everything that has happened between them make it too hard?
Authors Note: Although Buffy and Angel said they had to see each other in both the shows (BtVS & AtS), they never actually showed what happened, so I decided to write my version of it.
Buffy stood outside the café, hugging her coat around her, and tears pouring down her face. 'Maybe this was a bad idea,' she thought. But she wanted to tell Angel where she had been and she wanted him to put his arms around her and tell her everything would be all right. She sighed through her tears, a whisp of condensation coming from her mouth. It was cold, and she had nowhere to go; no way to get home. The next bus back to Sunnydale didn't arrive until 5:00am. That was still 5 and a half hours away.
"Where are you going?" asked Angel behind her. "'Cause it doesn't look like there's anywhere to go around here."
"I can't ..." she whispered, not turning round.
"You can tell me. You can tell me anything."
When Buffy still said nothing, Angel got annoyed. Striding up close behind her, he yelled, "God dammit, just tell me about where you were! Tell me about the Hell dimension you were trapped in! Tell me the torture and trauma you went through! I can help you! I went through the same too, remember?!"
Angel stumbled backwards, shocked at what he yelled at Buffy and shocked at the fact that he had yelled at Buffy.
"You have no idea what it was like for me," said Buffy coldly and quietly, her back still turned away.
"What? I was trapped in Hell, too, rememb-"
"BUT YOU DESERVED IT!" shouted Buffy, turning round to face him. She was so angry, not with him, but with herself. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, because she knew there was a look of deep hurt on his face.
Shocked, he strided up to Buffy, taking a firm hold of her by the shoulders. "You know, all I heard was that you were alive and so I wanted to come and see you to try and help you! 'Cause I went through the same thing as you. I got sent to Hell. I suffered unbearable torment. And I found my way back. So did you; you did the exact same things as me! And here I am, trying my best! But it seems like that's not good enough for you, although we both went to Hell!"
"SHUT UP!" screamed Buffy. Not realizing her own strength, she hit Angel in the chest, sending him falling to the ground. And that did it.
She looked at the man she once loved, sprawled out on the ground before her, not believing that she had lost her temper at him. But now she felt all the tension flowing away, but being replaced with helplessness. She had thought that everything was ok; that she was coping with being expelled from Heaven. But everything was not ok. And here was the proof in front of her.
Zoning out of reality, Buffy collapsed to her knees, still looking helplessly at Angel. Her eyes were dry, although she had been crying a few minutes ago. But now she couldn't cry. It was beyond crying.
Angel looked up at Buffy staring at him in shock. He saw into her heart, just like he had always done. Something – something much worse – had happened. Buffy had been keeping this thing locked up inside, and it was slowly killing her. And then he realized.
"Buffy," he whispered, crawling over to her. But she didn't hear him.
She felt him touch her face, a touch which she remembered and knew well. A touch which was so soft and gentle, it sent a spark spiralling down to her heart.
Tilting her head upwards, Angel managed to get her eyes to meet his. And she could see the love and the warmth in them.
"Buffy," he said quietly, "You weren't ... you weren't in Hell ... were you?" Seeing her eyes look down to the ground, he knew that he was right. "Were you in ... a good place?" he asked her delicately.
Bringing her eyes back up to meet his, she couldn't help it anymore. When the tears started pouring down Buffy's face, soaking into his hand, he put his arms around her, holding her tightly.
Finally finding someone who she could pour her heart out to, someone who she could tell the truth to, she collapsed into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. He stroked her long blonde hair gently, silently reassuring her that he was there and that he was going anywhere.
Buffy pushed herself up from Angel's lap to look at his face. She could see the pain and sadness mixed with his love for her. Then, she closed her eyes, feeling the last few tears leaking out of her eyes, thinking about all that had happened.
She felt Angel press a kiss softly on her forehead, and then another one on her nose. Taken aback, she felt his lips gently brush against hers, soft and comforting. Just how she remembered. Placing a hand on Angel's cheek, she looked straight into his eyes.
"Yes," she whispered, "I was. I was in Heaven."