Title: Miles to Go

Author: talldarkandsexy

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters I use in this story. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB etc. (Believe me, if I owned these characters, it would be unlikely that I was posting them on )

Spoilers: End of Season 5, beginning of Season 6. And a little of the end of Season 2.

Pairings: Buffy/Angel

Rating: PG

Set: After the end of Season 6 episode "Flooded". Buffy receives a phone call from Angel at the end of that episode, and rushes off immediately.

Summary: After receiving a short phone call from Angel, Buffy gets on a bus to a small 24-hour café somewhere in between Sunnydale and L.A. She meets Angel to talk, but can she tell him about where she was? Or does everything that has happened between them make it too hard?

Authors Note: Although Buffy and Angel said they had to see each other in both the shows (BtVS & AtS), they never actually showed what happened, so I decided to write my version of it.

Chapter 5

They sat in the back seat of Angel's car, talking and still upset, but happier now that they had cleared the air between them. Buffy had her arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly, her head settled comfortably on his chest.

"It was the happiest I'd ever felt," she said, "I was surrounded by everyone that I ever loved. Mom ... Dad ... and they were happy. And they were together. And I was finally at peace with myself. Throughout my life, there's always been ... conflict, deep down inside of me. In heaven, I was rewarded and ... thanked for all the work I had done on earth as the Slayer. And I no longer had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was free. It was someone else's responsibility."

"How long were you there for?" asked Angel.

"I don't know. Time didn't matter at all. It was supposed to be eternity. Spike said I was gone for 147 days. It felt a lot longer."

They were silent for a few minutes. Then Buffy said slowly:

"I remember ... you – you were there. Right by my side. And you loved me with all your heart. And I loved you too. And we were together. And happy. Perfectly ... happy."

Angel was quiet. He remembered how much Buffy had loved him. And how he had broken her heart. He was still so sorry for what he did to her, and felt guilty. All the time.

Buffy continued on, "But then all that perfect happiness ended so suddenly. And I was ripped out and placed back here. Back in this world where everything is so hard and so evil, and where there is so much suffering. And you know who did that to me? Who took me away from the place where I was most happiest and put me back in this world which I had been fighting against for 20 years? My best friends. The ones who I loved the most, especially when my mom died. They did it. Just so they didn't feel so bad anymore. Angel, I can't help but feel they were so selfish."

"They did what they did because they love you."

"Yeah. I know. But I still don't get it. I mean, why did they think I was in Hell? I was the Slayer. I was a warrior for the good side. Against evil. Yet they thought I would be banished to Hell? I just – I don't understand."

"I guess they thought that cos it was a possibility. Because you were killed by energy separating hell dimensions, that your spirit would get taken and trapped in one of those hell places. And I guess they couldn't bear to leave you trapped in Hell."

"I know they meant well, but I just can't help but feel everytime I look at one of them, especially Willow, how could they do that to me? And I look around the world and feel ... this is Hell. They brought me back to Hell. But Angel, why – why am I back?"

"Buffy, for a 100 years, I thought that my life was Hell. All I could see was the pain and the fear and the suffering around me. But then someone showed me that my endless life was worth living, that I had a purpose and that I could make a difference. And that someone was you. You once told me that to live I had to be strong. And to be strong I had to fight. And fighting was hard and painful and every day, but it's what we have to do. Buffy, I'm so sorry you were ripped out of Heaven by your friends, but you just have to keep going. Don't give up. I'm not gonna tell you that it's going to be easy, but you are going to realise why you're back. And you're gonna look at your sister and your friends and you are going to love them. Just like you've always done. You're back because – because it is not your time to go yet. You have a purpose in your life. I don't know what it is yet, but you will find out. And you will fulfill that purpose. "

After a pause of reflection, Buffy said, "You're right. Thank you, Angel. But – but how do I face them?"

"You just have to remember that they love you and that they will never abandon you. And, however hard this maybe, I think you should tell them. About where you were. 'Cause they need to know. Or else you might never forgive them."

"Yeah," said Buffy. After a few minutes of thinking about what Angel said, she said with a sigh, "The bus back will be here soon. I should probably get going. And so should you too. Before it gets light."

"Yes."

"Angel," she said suddenly, "Please can you come back with me? To Sunnydale? I just – I feel like I really need someone and you've been so good to me."

"Buffy, I don't think that's such a good idea," said Angel, shaking his head. "I mean, it doesn't work between us. And although you're feeling vulnerable and lost right now you have a life in Sunnydale with your friends and I have a different life with responsibilities in L.A."

"Oh. I get it." said Buffy coldly, letting go of Angel and clambering out of the car. "I get what you're saying."

"No, Buffy, I – it's not that I don't want to. It's just ... now is not the time. But that doesn't mean that I don't lo-"Angel stopped. With a deep breath he continued on. "Please, Buffy, don't be mad with me. I don't want us to part like this." He said as Buffy walked away from the car.

She stopped and turned round. With a sigh, she said, "Yeah, I know. You're right. Now is not the time."

Angel looked nervously up at the sky. He could smell the dawn coming. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." She said, turning round and walking off again.

"Buffy, it's not just in Heaven. That I love you. I still love you. Just... remember that. Please."

Buffy was back on the bus, staring out of the window as the world rushed by. She was ok. Not happy by any means, but happier than she had felt in a long time. She thought about what had said and realized that he was right. It was going to be hard, to get back to her life, but she will do it eventually.

'I still love you.' His words from when they parted echoed in her mind. He still loved her. After everything they'd been through. And at least, she knew that someone loved her and would always be there for her.

So, there were still miles to go before the end. But she would get there one day. And realize everything Angel said would be true.

She was alive.

The End