Chapter 5
More than a week went by before Syd was released from the hospital in El Paso, the closest city with a medical facility.
Walker had helped the Park Rangers secure the three criminals, who were still tied to the tree where he and Trivette had left them, and then he had returned to the campsite and with the rest of the group carried down their equipment and sombrely headed home early from their trip.
The couple split up from their original pairings. Alex and Erica drove home immediately because Alex was now anxious to see little Angela whom they had left in the care of her father. Walker and Trivette drove straight to El Paso to speak with local law officials about the arrests of the three men and the charges to be laid against them.
Gage drove to El Paso too, driving Syd's vehicle. He hung about while the senior Rangers explained the details of the situation to the El Paso Police, offering what he knew about the situation when necessary. The Rangers then all drove to the hospital to check on their fallen comrade.
Syd was in surgery when they got there; the doctors hoping to correct some the damage to her ankle that had been done before Walker had stabilized it with the splint. In fact, Syd's ankle had not been broken as Walker had thought; rather she had torn several ligaments. The doctor informed them that Ranger Cooke's head injury was not serious and that she would make a full recovery, and he was optimistic that with intensive therapy she would regain partial, if not full, use of her ankle again.
The news wasn't as good as they hoped, each knowing how important Syd's job as a Texas Ranger was to her. If she couldn't walk properly or defend herself with the martial arts moves that were so critical to the job, well...they tried not to think about that outcome.
When Syd was moved to a private room after time in recovery, the Rangers were allowed in to see her but only briefly.
"Hey Sydney? How are you feeling?" Trivette asked.
"I'm not feeling much of anything right now; I think I'm pretty doped up on pain medication." Syd replied, so pleased to see her colleagues. "Where are Alex and Erica?"
"They send their love." Walker replied, giving Sydney a brief hug. "They headed straight back to Dallas; Alex was anxious to see Angela but I promised her I would call her as soon as I saw you."
"I understand. Any idea how long I'm going to be in here?"
"Your doctor said about a week and then you'll need daily therapy once you get home. But the surgery went well, you should be pleased."
"I am. I met with Dr. Handford before the surgery and I liked him – he really seemed to know what he was doing. I know they did their best and now the rest will be up to me."
"You'll be up and walking before you know it." Trivette cheered Syd on – she would need all their support to make a full recovery.
"Well, I'm going to call Alex and let her know that you're fine. See you late Sydney."
"And I better go call Erica if I don't want hear about how Walker is so much more considerate than I am. We'll call you soon okay Sydney? You hang in there."
Gage had hung back the entire time the Senior Rangers were fussing over Syd. He wasn't even sure if Syd knew that he was there, but when he looked up at her after they had left it was obvious that she did.
"Hi Gage."
"Hey Syd."
"You wanna sit down or something?"
"No...no...I should go soon too. You're tired and it's a long drive back to Dallas."
"Oh...okay...Gage?"
"Yeah Syd?"
"Could you give me a hug please?"
In less than two steps Gage was at her side, leaning down, enveloping her in his strong arms. Before Syd knew what was happening she could feel that her partner was shaking as he held her, squeezing her so tight that she could hardly breathe.
"Gage...Gage!" Syd tried to get him to loosen his grip on her, realizing as he pulled back that he was crying. "Oh my god Gage...what's wrong? Do you know something I don't know? Am I dying?"
He shook his head, wiping the tears away. He embraced her again, he just couldn't look at her when he did this – if she rejected him...he'd rather not see it.
"You scared me Syd. This whole thing scared me. When we came back to the campsite and you were gone...and then we found those brutes and heard all the things they said they were going to do to you...Syd, I love you and if anything ever happened to you I just don't know how I could live. Please tell me that you feel the same Syd, please?"
Syd sat motionless in Gage's arms. He just told her than he loved her – no dream this time. Gage – her wonderful, amazing partner actually loved HER! But now he wants me to say it back to him? Oh my God, I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to admit that to myself – I can't tell him. I know it's what he wants to hear but I just can't.
"Gage..." Syd began. "Gage... it's not that I don't...it's just that I...well, you're my partner. Oh course I care about you."
Gage sat back, releasing Syd from his embrace. "Why can't you just say it?"
"Say what?" She played dumb; she knew what he meant but was stalling for time.
"That you love me?"
Syd looked away. "I don't know."
"I know why. You're an emotionless person Sydney Cooke!" Gage stood up, frustration manifesting itself as anger. "You can't tell me that you love me because you don't know how to recognize love even when it's right in front of you! You wonder why you haven't gone on a date in months or why no guy you meet wants to stick around. It's not because you're a Texas Ranger Syd! It's because you have absolutely no idea of the emotional involvement that is required for a relationship!"
"And you know so much about relationships? Maybe I can't say it because it just isn't true!" Syd struck back at Gage, her hurtful words easing the pain he had caused her with his. "Go home Gage – go home to Dallas with all the pretty cheerleaders to ogle at and when you and I see each other don't you ever say those things to me again!"
"Fine!" Gage turned on his heel and stormed out her hospital room, out of the city of El Paso and out of Sydney Cooke's life.
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When it came time for Syd to be released from the hospital Alex, still off work on maternity leave, drove down with Angela. Syd's week of recovery in the hospital had gone well and her doctors there had liaised with ones in Dallas, securing Syd a physiotherapy position at Dallas's leading Sports Medicine Clinic.
The women talked a bit about the scenery in El Paso and about baby Angela but soon the conversation turned to work.
"So how is Walker? And Trivette?"
"Good, they're both busy with a new case. Ramirez Valquez is back out and word on the streets is that he is into illegal arms deals again. They've got Gage working undercover, infiltrating the organization."
"Gage is working undercover for Valquez!?" Syd could hear her heart thumping. "That's so dangerous – I can't believe that Walker gave him that assignment! Why would he want Gage to..."
"He asked for it Sydney." Alex spoke quietly.
"He...he...asked for it?"
"Yes. Look Sydney, I know it's none of my business but what happened between you two? He came back from seeing you here and Walker says he practically begged for this assignment."
"He told me he loved me Alex. He told me he loved me and he asked me to say it back and I couldn't. I just wasn't ready to do it and I wanted him to understand, to give me time, but he got angry and he said some...well, unpleasant but probably justified things to me. I shouted back and told him to go back to Dallas and to never talk to me about it again."
"Oh Sydney..."
Syd's fists were clenched so tightly her knuckles were turning white. "I spent all week thinking about what he said and how I really feel and I've been working up the courage to talk to him hoping that once I was back he would have calmed down. But now he's gone and put himself in such a stupid, dangerous position and ... I just don't know Alex."
"I'm sorry Sydney." Alex didn't know what else to say.
"You know what Alex? I do love him – he means more to me than anybody else in the entire world. I think it boils down to the fact that I just didn't expect to find love this way. I thought that I would recognize love from the moment I felt it, but I didn't. My love for Gage grew out of our friendship and was strengthened by our intense working partnership. It seems to have come so unexpectedly and yet so...naturally. You were right before - I was afraid to let him know, afraid to give that part of myself away and admit that I need him. I can't imagine life without him Alex."
Syd's voice was almost shrill by the end of her tirade and just as Alex thought that the Ranger was nearing the point of hysteria, Angela began wailing and her cries brought Syd back to Earth. Turning around in her seat Syd reached out an arm and tickled Angela's toes as she kicked them in the car-seat.
"Hey sweet little girl, I'm sorry – I didn't mean to upset you. I was just doing some girl talk – all over a man. Can you imagine Angela – one of those big, hairy guys like your Daddy? That's right...and I was getting all upset. You are so lucky that you have years ahead of you before you have to start worrying about boys."
Angela cooed and gurgled with Syd's attention and Alex smiled. "Years and years and years and years ahead of her, if her Daddy and I have anything to say about it."
Syd laughed - a real laugh. It felt good to be going home even if the homecoming she had planned in her mind wasn't going to happen. She tried to put the image of Gage, undercover and possibly in trouble, out of her mind and although she was for the most part successful, a tiny portion of her brain was fixated on the man she hoped would still want to hear that she loved him.
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The healing of Syd's ankle was a long and tedious process but Syd dedicated herself to the task. After a week back in Dallas she was able to get around with crutches, three weeks later she was using a cane. Unable to drive Syd took to the bus to her daily appointments at the Sports Clinic.
She had found herself going stir crazy not working so Walker had Syd assigned part-time to home duty. It was pretty boring, some clerical work and data entry but every so often she was able to do criminal background checks using her home computer which Trivette had linked to the main Texas Ranger system. The work kept her mind in tune and ready for when she was able to resume active duty.
Syd was confident that that time was not far off. It was almost Thanksgiving now; it had been five weeks since the trip into the mountains. Five weeks since she and Gage had shared that passionate kiss in her tent; five weeks since they'd had that horrible argument. Five weeks since she had seen him.
Gage. No-one at Texas Ranger Headquarters had heard from him in over two weeks but he had been spotted in the company of Valquez and his elite group of comrades. There was no doubt that he had managed to successfully infiltrate the inner sanctum; they now held their breath waiting for him to let them know about the crime lord's next big purchase.
Before that contact had been made though, Syd was required to return to El Paso, as were Walker and Trivette, to testify against the three men who had so brutally attacked and abused her. The District Attorney in El Paso County was a former colleague of Alex's and Syd felt confident that it would be a 'good trial'. Still, it was unnerving to have to go there and stand in front of the court, facing those men again, and describe in detail how they had touched her.
As she stood outside the courtroom straightening her hair and smoothing her skirt and waiting for Alex to return from the ladies, she looked across the hallway and found herself staring straight at Gage. His hair was slicked back; he had grown a goatee and was wearing some ridiculous assortment of chains around his neck. Having made her eye contact Gage started down the hall past his partner, standing there with her mouth almost hanging open and her hand gripping her cane. As he approached her he casually pulled out a package of cigarettes which carelessly flew out of his hand where they landed at Syd's feet.
Without thinking Syd bent down to pick up the package just as Gage bent down too. Their hands met as they both picked up the cigarettes, and Gage squeezed Syd's fingers for a moment setting off the same electric charge that they had felt that night in the tent.
"Sorry ma'am. Didn't mean to disturb you." He spoke in a slow Texas drawl as they stood up.
"Oh...that's alright." It was hard to control the tremble in her voice.
"Hope you don't mind me saying - you look kinda of stressed out ma'am. I always find that a cigarette calms me down. Would you like one?"
Gage pushed forward a cigarette from the package and offered it to Syd.
"Well, I don't usually smoke but maybe today I'll make an exception." Syd took the proffered gift. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He smiled at her. "I'm sure that things will be all right in there for you. Sure hate to see such a pretty lady looking so worried."
"Are you coming in to watch this trial?" Syd asked, hope lighting her eyes.
"Nope, I was just here doing some paperwork for a friend and I've gotta split now. Sure do hope I see you around again though." And then he was gone - out the doors of the courthouse just as Alex returned.
"Sydney – are you alright?" her friend asked, noticing how flushed Syd was.
"Yeah...I'm fine Alex...I just met this very handsome stranger who gave me a cigarette to calm my nerves."
"You don't smoke! That must have been some handsome stranger!"
"Yeah, it was." Syd sighed, despite herself. "I'll umm...I'll tell you about him later. Listen, they're calling us now."
Carefully putting the cigarette in her purse, Syd strode forward with Alex at her side and entered the courtroom more relaxed than she ever thought she'd be for the challenge ahead of her.
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As anticipated the trial was a success. All three men were convicted of aggravated sexual assault, unlawful confinement and three counts of assaulting a member of Texas law enforcement. They were each sentenced to three years at a maximum security prison with no chance of parole.
When the group left the courthouse they piled into Walker's large truck, jubilant over the results. Syd had a hard time getting anyone to listen to her but she finally shouted.
"Stop! I want to tell everyone about the handsome stranger I met today!"
The group hushed immediately, all eyes turned on Syd. It was the most animated anyone had seen her in weeks.
"He had dirty-blonde hair and blue eyes and he gave me this cigarette." As she spoke Syd unrolled the paper from the cigarette and revealed the writing on the inside.
"Gage!" Walker exclaimed as he read the address printed there. "This is where the arms deal is going to go down."
"Tomorrow night!" Trivette exclaimed. "I knew we could count on Gage. Let's get back to Dallas."
"No wonder you were so flushed when I returned from the ladies room!" Alex smiled at Syd across the backseat and gave her a hug before they buckled their seatbelts.
"How'd he look Sydney?" Walker asked as he pulled the car out of the parking lot and towards the main highway.
"Fine, he seemed in pretty good spirits. Do you think it was wise of him to have contacted us this way? He won't have blown his cover will he?"
"I hope not. I don't think he would have taken such a risk in Dallas but we are pretty far away from Valquez's circle of influence, he must have felt it was safe."
"I think he wanted to make sure I was okay for this trial too." Syd added quietly as she looked out the window at the passing Texas countryside. "I just hope he knows what he's doing."
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Syd was on pins and needles the next evening as Walker and Trivette readied themselves and a team of Rangers to bust open Valquez's illegal arms smuggling racquet. The hardest part was that she wanted to be out in the field with them instead of watching the surveillance cameras.
Syd was thankful at least that Walker had convinced Captain Brisco to let her come into the office to watch; at least here she felt a little part of the team. She couldn't help but wonder if her partner was alright. Having seen him yesterday, talked to him, touched his hand – it was like he was suddenly real again. In the last five weeks, though he had often been on her mind, Gage had begun to seem like someone she once knew in a long ago life. Their encounter at the courthouse though had brought all the memories flooding back and she was suddenly intensely nervous about seeing him again.
Syd's attention was drawn back to the TV screen. She could see the group of Rangers circling the warehouse and she tensed as they tensed, ready to break down the door. And suddenly Walker and Trivette were making their move. The doors flung open and there was a pandemonium of gunfire. Syd looked frantically for Gage in the melee but couldn't see him.
The takedown was over in a matter of minutes; Valquez and his men had been poorly prepared for an attack. Syd watched as Walker led Valquez away in cuffs while Trivette and the other Rangers each escorted another of the criminals to the waiting police cars. There was still no sign of Gage and Syd tried to control the rising panic she felt as she realized that there were three bodies on the floor of the warehouse.
Frustrated and worried Syd picked up the nearest object, which happened to be Walker's coffee mug, and threw it across the room where it smashed into a million pieces.
"I don't think Walker's going to like what you did to his favourite mug Syd."
Syd whirled around and stared in disbelief. "Gage?"
"Hi Syd." Such simple words, how did they make his heart melt?
"Gage – you're okay." It was a statement, not a question.
"Can I be the one to ask for a hug this time?" He stood there, his arms open slightly. She looked wonderful to him, he had been longing to see her, longing to touch her for so long now.
Syd just nodded in return, frozen to the spot where she stood. He walked slowly towards her, their eyes caught in an unfaltering gaze. When he got close enough Syd reached out and touched his face, just to make sure that he was real. And then she took both her hands and pushed him in the chest, hard.
"Ow...what was that for?" Gage cried, clutching at his chest in surprise.
"Don't you ever do that to me again Francis Gage! I thought you were dead. I saw the bodies on the screen and I thought..." Syd couldn't stop the tears that had been welling up inside her any longer. She collapsed against Gage's chest, pounding on it with all her might. "What were you thinking taking such a dangerous assignment? You could have been killed!"
Gage wrapped his arms around his partner, savouring how good it felt to hold her again. These past weeks had been torture. The moment he had gone undercover he wished he hadn't been so hasty in begging Walker to give him this assignment. He had come back from El Paso so wound up about the mess that he had made of his relationship with Syd that he tried to use work as an escape.
He pulled back from Syd and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.
"No more crying Syd, I'm fine. See? No bullet holes, no blood."
Syd sniffled. "Well good, because I really didn't want to have to break in a new partner."
"Gosh, it's good to see you Syd." Gage looked at her, adoration in his eyes.
"How did you get away from Valquez? How come you weren't at the warehouse?"
"Valquez sent me out to watch the back of the warehouse for police. Instead of doing that I just took off and came here. I was hoping I'd find you here."
"The takedown went well; I saw Walker and Trivette arrest Valquez and take away most of the men."
"That's good. How did things go at the trial yesterday?"
Syd reached around and grabbed a tissue from her desk, blowing her nose lightly as she turned around.
"Good – they each got three years."
His face sobered. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you."
Syd stiffened. "I was fine Gage; I can do things on my own – I don't need you there to protect me."
Gage sighed. "Syd, I am not going to get into an argument over this. I just want you to think about one thing – it isn't all about you. Did it ever occur to you that I just might have needed to be there?"
Syd stared at him in wonder. It was true, she hadn't really thought about her partner in all of this. If the roles were reversed would she have felt the need to be there at his side? Yes was the resounding answer. She looked down, suddenly shy. Where was big, tough, strong, independent Sydney Cooke now?
"I'm sorry Gage. I...I...I'm sorry about a lot of things." She looked up. "About what happened in El Paso...I'm so sorry that I hurt you...that was the last thing I wanted to do."
"Syd." Gage reached up and tenderly caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I'm sorry about those things I said about you in El Paso too, I was hurt and I was frustrated but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You need to know something though Syd – I do love you. I love you with every fibre of my being and I know that you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. If I have to wait forever for you to be ready, I will. I am not going to mention this again and we can go back to being partners and friends, but please just remember that underneath it all I love you."
A silent tear trickled down Syd's cheek and she was biting her lip. Okay Syd, here's the moment of truth – this is what you have been waiting for. Go for it.
"I don't think that would be very fair of me to ask you to wait forever."
"Syd, please don't try to talk me out of this."
"No...no...I just mean that, well...the thing is Gage, I do love you too."
He stared at her in amazement, a slow grin making its way across his face as she rambled on.
"I should have told you before but I was just so scared...I thought that if I loved you I'd be losing some part of me...and I..."
Gage didn't wait any longer. Placing both hands on her cheeks he leaned forward and captured her lips with his, hungrily assaulting her with all the pent up love and passion from the past five weeks, from the last few years. Syd responded in kind, her hands tangling in his hair.
Finally the couple broke apart, lips swollen and their heads resting on one another's foreheads.
"Is this for real?" Gage asked, his hands running up and down her shoulders.
"I think so." Syd stood up straight and took her partner's hand. "Gage...you want to go home?"
"Yeah."
Syd reached for her cane, and with one hand on it and the other securely in Gage's she led them out the door of Company B.
"You know Syd I won't tell Walker what happened to his coffee mug if you don't."
"You better not!" Letting go of his hand she punched him affectionately in the arm. "Can you do me another favour too please?"
"Anything Syd."
"That goatee has to go."
Gage started laughing and leaned over to kiss her swiftly on the lips. Then, capturing her hand again he grinned as they stepped into the elevator. "Sure...though I did think it made me look a bit distinguished."
"Distinguished? Uh...no." Syd replied, returning his grin with one of her own which was equally as dazzling. "And besides, once you get rid of those chains the goatee will look really out of place."
"My chains? Oh, not the chains Syd. These are cool."
"They are?"
"Yeah, all the guys on the street are wearing them."
"Are any of them going home with me?""Well...no."
"I rest my case."
"You drive a hard bargain Syd."
"I think you'll find that I am worth it."
"Oh Syd." Gage replied, kissing her again. "I know you are."