Title: With An Angel's Guidance
Author: damson rhee
Rating: PG
Summary: AU fic - Sakura is a princess in the Kinomoto castle being forced to give up everything she has ever known. How will she cope? Pairings: SxS, ExT
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, or any of its characters. CLAMP does. Leave me alone. Do not sue.
"blah" -speaking
'blah'-thoughts
blah -flashbacks
The big spaces are the scene changes/ POV changes (It should be pretty obvious).
A/N: Welcome to my first fic. However, please don't go easy on me. I want all of your harsh criticisms, flames, and/or good comments. :D
Arigatou to all my reviewers:
mooshum: Thanks for reading and for the criticism. Please keep in touch!
Hellmaster Fibby: Thanks for the compliments! I honestly have never seen another story like this one, but… oh well. And yes, I do like the word baka! lol… Have you ever read the Shannera series from Terry Brooks? Well, I got my name from those books. Maybe that's why it's so familiar… or maybe not.
Spinelli Woods, Esquire: Thank you for both of your reviews. Keep reading!
Val: Your review is appreciated! Stay tuned.
berden: Thanks for all the reviews you have given me. I was thinking of putting the Japanese translations at the end of each chapter. Do you think that that would be helpful? Please keep reading!
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She watched carefully as the sun set, sending its rays of pink, purple, and yellow into the sky. It was dusk, and the view from her perch was magnificent. She took a moment to truly recognize the value of what was before her. Some things in life were priceless, but few seemed to take notice.
'What a wonder,' she thought suddenly, surprising ever herself by the unexpectedness of her contemplation. 'I had never really thought about it before, but the coming and going of the day is truly a blessing from Kami-sama and a miracle. I think that everyone must learn to appreciate that.'
She continued to observe in silence until finally the sun was seemingly lost beneath the mountains and valleys below, and the darkness covered the land once more. She did not like the dark, and she longed for the day to appear again. The light of day brought joy and happiness, but the dark brought only sorrow, fear, and despair.
'But after the darkness, there will be light again,' she concluded, though even the smallest child could have easily come to the same inference. Except that it had a much deeper meaning than that. She smiled serenely. 'You must remember that, my little one…'
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'It's all my fault. It's all my fault.'
Li Syaoran sat on a mossy log staring in to the fire he had built to keep himself warm during the cold night. The way the luminous flames licked the wood, slowly burning, was mesmerizing, and he let himself forget everything as he gazed intently into its depths. He cleared his mind of all his past memories and experiences until that fire consumed his mind. Syaoran was numb, and he liked it.
'It's all my fault.'
He ended the blissful trance only because he knew that all good things must come to an end. He also knew that his previous state of apathy was probably not a good thing. In his position, he had to remain alert and watchful at all times. It was not in his nature to be so careless, and he promised himself that it would not happen again. He could not afford mistakes.
He felt his darker mood lifting, and he tried to produce a more positive outlook. Maybe if he told himself what he wanted to hear, he would eventually come to truly believe it.
'It's not my fault. It's not my fault.'
Syaoran focused his gaze to the trees. They surrounded the little clearing that he inhabited. They were lush and green and jolly during the day, but with only the fire's light and the moonlight to light them, they looked mysterious and eerie. Still, Li Syaoran was glad that they were there, and was not uneasy as many would have been.
He suddenly felt restless, and he realized that he had not yet done his exercises and training with his sword. He got up abruptly and moved to an open space in the large clearing. He brought out his sword and admired how the fire's light made it gleam. It was a fine sword.
'It's not my fault. It's not my fault.'
He completed both his martial arts and sword training within an hour and sat back down on the log by the fire. He was breathing heavily and was physically exhausted, but he was finally content. He drowsily rested his head in his hands, intent on going to sleep when he noticed a figure in the trees about ten meters from where he was sitting. He brought out his sword as his fighter's instinct took over while berating himself inwardly as he remembered his earlier promise to be watchful.
"Who's there?" he called out menacingly.
The figure did not respond, and Syaoran prepared to charge with his sword.
"Don't fight me. I might beat you," the figure admonished, thought the voice was faltering slightly.
Recognizing the voice, he sat down wearily. "I didn't expect you to come so soon."
Meiling came out of the forest and sat down beside him. She looked exhausted and depleted. "I didn't expect to come."
She embraced him silently. Her cheeks were stained with tears.
'It's not my fault.'
"Something has happened?" he asked worriedly. He knew Meiling did not cry easily.
"Something has happened," she affirmed and proceeded to sob uncontrollably into his shoulder.
'It's not my fault.'
"I- It's Wei," she managed to choke out between sobs. "H- He's never quite been the same since you… well, since you… left. This past year has been hard on him. First he lost you, then his wife. He took that really hard. And then…two nights ago…he…he…"
'It's not my fault.'
"It's okay, Meiling. You don't have to say it. I- I understand," he comforted, although he did not feel even remotely close to being able to comfort anyone.
"I knew that I had to come tell you. I remembered how close you and Wei were. I thought that you should know right away, so I came here as soon as I was able," she declared, wiping away her tears and taking deep breaths to calm herself. "This is the first time in my life that I've broken down like this…"
"Don't worry. Everyone has to die sometime, and it was Wei's time to go."
'It's not my fault. It's not my fault.'
"Oh, Syaoran, why did you leave?"
"You know that I couldn't have stayed."
'It's not my fault.'
"Hai, but couldn't you have found another way? There must have been something you could have done."
"Iie, there was nothing," he responded coldly. He did not feel like talking about it.
"Gomen nasai, Syaoran-kun. I know that Wei was like a father to you."
'It's not my fault.'
Meiling pulled him into a tight, comforting embrace as he said, "Arigatou for coming here. But you must get some sleep and rest before you go."
"I must go now. I have things to take care of."
"Demo… you must at least get some rest," he insisted.
"Iie, I will be fine. Onegai, Syaoran-kun, I must leave."
"Okay, but please be careful."
'It's not my fault.'
"Hai. I will miss you."
With that, she broke their tight embrace and fled through the trees. Syaoran was left alone once again, but this time with much more to think about. Guilt ridden but exhausted, he fell into a deep sleep.
'It's all my fault.'
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Owari…for now. :D Gomen nasai it was so short, but I thought that it would be better to post something short than nothing at all. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Ja ne!