Errr... right... disclaimer... I don't own it, PotC, that is.

Sorry about the wait! I was busy (I know, excuses, excuses, but it's true!). Hope you all like it. If you don't, then just send a handful of flames...

Thank you for the reviews, now, on with the chapter, cringes

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Chapter 5 : A dashing entry to Tortuga...

(Fen)
They arrived gently at Tortuga. Well, gently is being a bit too idealistic. It was more like they arrived, drenched with sweat, having nearly passed out from the heat and effort, their clothes sticking to the outlines of their bodies. Clothes sticking to the outlines of their bodies, and consequently showing these outlines.

For Jack, it wasn't really a problem, uncomfortable, but not a problem. Whereas for Fen, it was not just uncomfortable but a seriously important matter that needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. Because, as she was supposed to be a boy, well let's just say that it wouldn't do good for Jack to see her with slightly feminine' attributes...

She had banded her chest hadn't she... think back... yeah, just before she'd left in the morning. Phew! At least that would help keep up the pretence. She'd just have to play along and hope he wouldn't notice. That was going to be a hard one. She groaned out loud. Why did she always get herself into sticky situations? Sticky situations, ha ha! Now she was even making corny jokes. She groaned again, this time raising her hand to wipe her brow.

(Jack)
Nearly there, lad... Just keep it up fer another 5 minutes or so, and we'll be at Tortuga, Jack said, grinding his teeth and sounding like it was more to keep his own moral up than to encourage Fen. But he grinned at the thought none the less. Ahh, back at Tortuga, back to known land. He liked adventure, a great deal even - it was his life... All in all, what was a life worth without freedom? But it was always nice to go back to places - like Tortuga, that is - now and then, not very often, otherwise you got caught up, but to occaisionly see who controlled - or thought they controlled - that side of the ocean wasn't a bad thing. Indeed, it wasn't a bad thing at all.

He half forgot Fen as he fell back into watching the quickly approaching shore. They were not far away from the main part of Tortuga, but far enough from it to not get the cuious stares the other captains would give them. Curious stares followed up by curious acts. And with both of them plain dead on their feet, they'd not hold off the slightest attack. Which was why Jack had come up with the brilliant idea to float the remaining metres to shore and then drag themselves along to the nearest bar. Or maybe even get a room for the night. Rowing was harder than it looked...

10 minutes later they had found their way to shore. Found their way is a good way to put it, because their faithful steed had given up it's soul just before reaching land, so they had swam the extra distance. Fen looked lilke she was ready to murder someone, but that wasn't really very new and Jack was still off in his own little world, governed by the thought of rum. Very soon, his paradise would be within a hand's reach. He smiled contentedly.

Look, I'm glad you find our predicament funny, but I am rather much tempted to say that we are in a blo- Fen attempted to remark.

At any other time, I'd agree with you mate, Jack said condescendingly, but at the moment, I am more inclined to ask you to give me a bit o' peace until we reach somewhere that supplies rum. Then I will happily listen to all your grumbling, or ignore it, as the case may be. He flashed her a gold studded smile, and then sauntered on past her.

(Fen)
The murderous look that had up till then painted Fen's face changed. To one that said approximately, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'M GOING TO RIP YOU UP INTO TINY PIECES AND FEED YOU TO THE SHARKS! Only approximately, of course. Really, if she could of, she'd have torn him apart alive and then stitched him back together and repeated the processus enough times to make her new.... Captain - she smirked at the thought of the title - wish himself in hell.

Thankfully, for her at any rate - Jack would have hardly let her carry out her thoughts, (A/N hmm, hopefully anyway) - as she dashed towards him, dagger bared, all ready to slice him into little pieces, she tripped over a lovely little rock, pebble even, placed, it would seem, deliberately in her way.

She fell to the ground somewhat ungracefully, clanking her head on the ground and was instantly knocked unconscious.

(Jack)
Jack stopped in his tracks. Had he heard something? Wait a sec', where was Fen?

He span round, and found Fen splattered on the ground. A smile flickered to his face. Ha, ha! The poor lad must have been so astounded at the sight of new land that he'd not watched his feet! He snorted, gosh that was funny. He stared down at Fen. Hilarious even... He looked like... Jack spluttered with laughter. He looked like... Tears started rolling from the pirate's eyes - it wasn't often that something or someone broke Jack's calmness, but this... He doubled over on all fours, clutching his stomach. The sight of Fen fairly prostrated on the track combined with the effort of the preceding day made him lose all sense of reason.

A couple of minutes later he stood back up, wiping his eyes. He could just be rid of him, of course, now he was easily disposed of, but Jack's conscience suddenly rose up, yelling that one couldn't just abandon someone like that, in the middle of the road. And besides, the lad was a good laugh despite himself, and they needed someone to do a bit of scrubbing. He took Fen by the waist - too fast to notice any curves- and slung him over his shoulder. He made down to Tortuga, chuckling.

It didn't take him very long and he soon spotted danky taverns, dark alleyways and the general commotion that made Tortuga what it was - pirate heaven. He breathed in, this was the life. If only he knew where the Black Pearl was harboured, he'd be able to get a room and some rum, and maybe even some pleasurable company to top it all. Oh yeah, and he could abandon Fen in his... old... cabin. Anything was better than having to tow her around like this.

He found The Red Lion', a generally popular tavern, specialising in a delicate form of rum, if there is such a thing, quite quickly and made his way amongst the different forms of scum to the actual bar'. A brown haired young woman was serving behind it. She had rather beautiful eyes and a dainty face, though that was not what you noticed first, if you did at all notice it - it was so covered up by plastered on make-up.

Is tha' yer, Jack? It as bin a long time. She leant closer to him, smiling in what she beleived to be a seducive way - though, for an onlooker like Fen, it would have been positively sickening. Which is why it was a good thing she was still placed unconciously over Jack's shoulder.

Too long, Carla, much too long. Jack replied. I was wanting to know if Anamaria or Gibbs had dropped by, left a note, maybe? He added hopefully.

Sorry, bu' oi ain't seen em since yer all came by... Mus've bin round bout two months ago, she paused, an' o's this? She looked up at Fen curiously.

He frowned. The li'ul missie o' course! Yer ostage, I suppose it would be...

Missie? Hostage? He thought carefully, trying to recall whether he had taken someone hostage recently. No ... not that he knew of.

I don't know what yer talkin' about. He replied decidedly.

Yeah, I was thinkin' that was jus' a pile o' clothes you slung o'er yer shoulders as well... replied the barmaid, rolling her eyes as best she could under the layers of thickly applied kohl and colours.

Oh... Nah, jus' Fen... I thought he was a girl at first, too... In fact He leant closer to her, as if he was telling a great secret and whispered out the side of his mouth. He's a eunuch, but he needed savin'. I couldn't just leave him to be - He drew a finger across his neck and shook his head as if in dismay.

At that moment someone came rushing through the door, interrupting the conversation shouting CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN, JACK! Get over here! QUICKLY! Jack turned around, frowning. Sounded like someone he knew...

Anamaria came running into view, pushing the unfortunate customers in her way quite harshly out of her way. Most of them were so drunk, though, that after yelling a good lot of curses at her, they forgot they'd even been pushed and she made quick timing up to the bar.

Where've you been... been looking all over... Thought you were dead... Quickly... They're coming... She panted, not even noticing Fen draped over his shoulders.

Who's comin'? He asked cautiously, wondering what could make her run enough to be out of breath - wasn't like Anamaria, that.
As if in answer to his question three rather strongly-built pirates marched into the room, each seemingly competing for the title of Ugliest-Lump-Of-Flesh-On-This-Side-Of-The-Equator, and all drawing for it. They were huge, reaching a good seven foot, as vast as Jack's drinking ability and each of them grossly disfiguired and disformed, with scars, craters and lumps littered over their faces and exposed skin. They also had a seemingly nervous twitch, which involved grinding their right fist as far into the left palm as was humanly possible, looking menacingly at everyone around them and then picking those poor, innocent (or as innocent as pirates lazing around Tortuga could be) souls and hauling them against the dirty walls of the tavern. Oh, and they were also yelling a more vulgar version of, We are going to kill you Jack, you stupid !!

The three people next to the bar had quite different reactions to this outburst : Carla's make-up, however plastered to her face it was, plain jumped into the air and suddenly neither her make-up nor herself were anywhere to be seen. Anamaria gritted her teeth, grabbed Jack's wrist and made to run. And Jack himself just thought, with his mouth half-opened as if he was on the verge of saying something, What ave I got myself into...?

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Well, what did you think, constructive critiscism is more than welcome... grins and looks pointedly at the review button

DaydreamBeliever14 : I updated... not very quickly, but I still updated!!

matrixie : To my knowledge, Fen is not a cow... I'm sure the Captain would have noticed if she was... But that could be an idea... smiles mischeviously

etheriums angel : Thanks for reviewing!! For that, I'll give you a weekend in an all-inclusive, 5 star hotel... with none less than... drums start rolling and tumpets playing PINTEL himself... Sorry, but Jack had other engagements... ducks out of way of murderous fists...

SparrowsFreedom : Gee, thanks, I hope you liked this chapter