Title: Shuichi's Chase Of The Natural Goodness Of Maine
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk. I don't own Spongebob either. That belongs to Nickelodeon. Bakura and Yugi are property of Kazuki Takahashi.
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.) A lot of OOC in this chappie.
Special notes: One thang I'd like to say is that I'm so happy that Gravitation is C'mon' to the US market on June 29th. (The group of Gravi's at my school just found out about it on the 20th) I'm even more happy that Jim Ward (Chet Ubetcha from the Fairly Odd Parents) is voicing Yuki-sama. Now, I just hope he does a good jog at it... This chapter is a parody on the Spongebob episode called "No Weenies Allowed." That of course makes it AU. Alrighty then.
In response to your reviews...
Darklore Wings - I scared you yet again?! Oh man, this is so fun. I love your singing voice. Will you sing for me again? Maybe I'll make you... After all, you did steal my personal phrase. MWEE HEE HEE!!! Just kidding. I think... Gonna get Gravi 6 and the remixes in the mail. WOOT!! Oh, and I forgot.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
Are we gonna do the PortAnimeCon or not? I really need to know.
Oh, and sorry in advance for the sexual content in this chappie, but you've probably heard worse from me.
Raynedark - YAY DUMBLAWS.COM!!! And don't be sorry about the long review. I LOVE LONG REVIEWS!!! And it wasn't any of the things you listed. Thankies for the compliment! I take pride in my dreams. They're the only things I do well. Waaa... Monty did come to my house, but I hid in my room the whole time and read FAKE, so it wasn't really that bad at all! 'Cept for the fact I couldn't go online. ;; That caucus was interesting, ne? We have a scary dictat- I MEAN, head mistress. On, and I have a story idea for you. Tohma (or Yuki) tries to commit suicide for one reason or another. So they take an OD of painkillers and antidepressants. And cough syrup just Ôcuz they like it. Doesn't that sound like a YUKI thing to do? Isn't that JUST the sort of thing YUKI would do? Or TOHMA? Not that I'm implying that anything... Just thought you should try something like that.
Ryukio7890 - RYU-CHAN!!! I'm so glad you finally started to read this! It's a dream come true! The tomato is from Demon Diary, and I thought I'd put it in there for a couple of my pals. Yea, you should read their stuff. There the peeps in the review responses above. Check 'em out for me, would ya? Ask Inu-chan and our fave OLDER perv monk "are you?" (It's my usual response to when someone says "hi" to me. I crack myself up...) Glad you like it so far! Next chappie's for you! I've got this one reserved...
Happy Utena-Loving - Hn. I'm not gonna review myself anymore... I hate me. Can I block my own reviews? Stupid me is stalking me... GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID PERSON!!! I DUN LIKE YOU!!! GO AWAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! WAAAAAAA!!!!
Speller-Sama - Ohayo! Great ta hear from ya through FF.Net. You finally got an account. YAY!!! Hey, could I use your Serendipity idea for another extra later? Pwetty pwease?
Angrybee - OMIGODTHANKYOUSOMUCHITMEANSSOMUCHTOMEWHENANAUTHORIREALLYADMIREREVIEWSMEILOVEYOURFICSYOURULEANDIMACTINGLIKESHUICHILIFEJUSTGETSBETTEREVERYDAY!!!! Meh heh. Gomen, gomen, but your stories are the funniest ones I've ever read. I seriously fell on the floor laughing while I was reading them. Your compliments have inspired me to put up this extra and then write some more of the main plot.
---
This chapter is dedicated to two people 'cause I couldn't wait to dedicate it to them in separate chapters.
It's my two otaku pals, Darklore Wings and Raynedark.
And both of them are psycho!
I mean, psychic.
Well, now that I think about it, they can kinda be both...
Ohayo, K-san and Hiro!
Hope y'all get to see Gravi in English and that we call all go the the PortAnimeCon!
hands you both Yu Yu Hakusho plushies & a Kuwabara voodoo doll
---
Chapter Six: Special Extra! No Retards Allowed (or) Shuichi Aint No Me- Mince- Mom- Dumb Boy
---
Today is a very special day for Shuichi Shindou.
Why, do you ask?
Because today is the day that he and his best friend Hiroshi Nakano go out for a night on the town.
And here they are in the middle of the city in the middle of the night.
"Wow! Hiro! It's so- So-"
"Big?" Hiroshi grins at his younger friend. "You should really get out more."
"Was that an insult?! W A A A A A A A!!!!"
Shuichi starts to cry.
Hiro sweatdrops.
"Ah, warui, Shuichi. Gomen."
"Hmph!" Shuichi pouts.
"Let's just go to a club or something, ne, Shu-chan?"
"Okay, Hiro! Howsabout... That one!"
Shuichi points to a very exclusive looking club with a sign that says, "SEGUCHI'S HOUSE OF HELL."
"Sure!"
The two friends walk up the the door keeper guy.
He has blond hair and evil looking yellow eyes.
"Hello, I'm going to need some ID." he says to Hiro with a glare that could scare Fujisaki.
"Uh, yea." Hiro takes out his wallet and shows the guy his license. "See?"
"Fine, you can go in." The door keeper guy opens the door.
"See you inside, Shuichi!"
Hiro disappears into the building and the door closes behind him.
"Hi! I wanna go in, please!" Shuichi says with a smile.
The door keeper guy twitches.
"Riiiight. ID, kid."
"Here ya-" Shuichi reaches into his pocket, but finds nothing but a serious lack of wallet. "NANI?! WHERE'D IT GO?! MISTER WALLET, WHERE ARE Y O O O O U?!"
The door keeper guy starts twitching again and sweatdrops as Shuichi crawls around on the ground calling for "Silly Ol' Mister Wallet."
Shu-chan gives up after a couple minutes.
"Uh... I can't find it, but my friend Hiro could go in, so I can too, right?"
"Kid, that's the fucking oldest trick in the book. I'd be surprised if you could even legally watch a PG13 movie by yourself. Get the hell out of here. Why not go over there?"
Mister Meanie Pants points across the street.
"LITTLE TIKE'S DAYCARE CENTER FOR MENTALLY CHALLENGED BOYS?!" Shuichi squeals.
"Actual, I was pointing the place next to it."
"LITTLE TIKE'S DAYCARE CENTER FOR THE SEVERALLY MENTALLY IMPAIRED GIRLS?! WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Beat it, kiddo. I don't have time for you."
Mister Meanie Pants gives him a glare that even K-san couldn't handle without crying.
==A couple minutes later==
Shuichi gnaws on his Strawberry Pocky at Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys.
"So, Yugi, how's your collection going so far?" an albino kid with long hair asks his star-headed friend, who's name was apparently Yugi.
"Well, Bakura, I actually just got some new cards that'll give my Dark Magician a major boost in power!"
"Excuse me, wittwe mentawy chawenged boy with vewy cute pink haiw," says a waitress. "Would you wike some mowe yummy pocky?"
"I AM NOT A MENTAWY CHAWENGED BOY!!!" Shuichi yells. "Not like YOU TWO talking about some STUPID card game!"
"STUPID CARD GAME?!"
Bakura and Yugi both get really scary eyes and their hair changes.
"Uh..."
Shuichi runs out the door.
==Just a matter of seconds later==
"C'MON!!! WOULD YOU P L E A S E LEMME IN?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!"
Shuichi was sobbing and clawing at Mister Meanie Pants' feet.
"No."
"PLEASE?!"
"No."
"PLEASE?!"
"NO!!! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL MAKE YOU!!!"
Shuichi looks up at him. Biting his lip and putting on his uberly cute puppy dog eyes, he lets out a small, "Pwetty pwetty pwease? I swear I'm old enough! I really am matu-"
"Hey, Eiri," says a voice behind him.
"MEEP!!!"
Shuichi latches the glaring and twitching man's torso.
"Hey, Tatsuha."
"Who is this, your new fuck toy or something, aniki?" Tatsuha gives Shuichi a look over. "It's hard enough, seeing we have the same taste in woman and all, but if we're gonna start sharin' the fellers..."
"He's. Not. My. Fuck. Toy. You pain in the ass."
"Suuure, aniki. Whatever. See ya later, Eiri!"
Tatsuha waves and walks in the building.
"So, your name's Eiri, huh?" Shuichi asks, still clinging to him.
"Yea, but if you're going to fucking call me anything, it's Yuki."
"Yuki? Suits you well enough...
"Enough, kid. Go back to your house of mini-morons.
==Back at Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys==
"Stupid Yuki... Stupid wallet... Stupid Little Ties Day Share Center For... Whatever the hell the name is." Shuichi mutters.
Bakura and Yugi are back to normal and sitting on either side of him.
"Aw... Don't feel bad! You're not alone!" Yugi says cheerfully. "We can keep you company, Shu-chan!
"Yup!" Bakura nods.
"BUT I'M NOT A ME- A mem- A mint- A stupid kid.
Shuichi slams his head down on the counter in front of him.
"Hm... Maybe what you need is some cool duds! pipes up Yugi. "Y'know, like leather or something!
"That's a good idea!" Shuichi sits up. "Thanks, dork!
He runs out the door, laughing maniacally.
"But, Yugi, look at you!" Bakura points to Yugi's outfit of leather, chains, and lots of BDSM-looking stuff.
"Oh yea! I forgot about that. If ya don't have the attitude to go with the looks, you get ravished on the spot!
"...
"...Oops?
==About half an hour later==
Yuki stands at his post in front of Seguchi's House Of Hell.
A certain pink haired nuisance is all that lingers on his mind.
The reason is one that not even HE knows, that is until...
"Oi! Mister Door Holder Dude!
"Eh?
Yuki blinks twice, contemplating if he's finally gone over the deep end.
Standing before him, in all his seductively cute glory, was Shuichi Shindou: donning an outfit that revealed most of his skin and kept the rest quite tightly covered. And when I say tight, I mean so tight you could almost see THE THINGS they covered. (A/N: Yummy!)
A look of lust plays across Yuki's face as he admires all of Shuichi's fine curves. But that doesn't take him for than two seconds, so he (tries to) replace all longing for the younger man with disgust.
"Er... I'm Shu- Shuka Shin- Shimbo. Yea, Shuka Shimbo.
Yuki attempts to roll his eyes, but they remain glued to the pink-haired boy's body.
"Riiiight... And I'm Amy Yarborough, age 69.
"Nani?" Shuichi blinks. "Emi Yalabolou? I thought your name was Eiri Yuki and you were like, twenty something!
"It is and I am, you moron. And yours is Shuichi Shindou and you're not allowed into here.
"Wha- HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?!" Shuichi's inexorable crying starts up again. "YUGI SAID I COULD GET IN IF I WORE THIS STUFF!! WHAT AM I GONNA D O O O O?! W A A A!!! LET ME IN, YUKI-SAN!! O N E G A I!!!
"U-URUSEI!!!
Yuki tries to dislodge the sobbing monkey clinging to his leg, but his attempts are in vain. Not that he really minds, quite the contrary actually, but that would ruin his image of being a one hundred percent straight, cold-hearted bastard.
Y U K I - S A N!!
"THIS IS JUST PROVING THE FACT THAT YOU'RE AN UNDERAGED, MORONIC BRAT WHO DRESSES LIKE A WHORE!!!
Many men - and a few women - on the street look around hopefully at the last word Yuki said.
Yuki sweatdrops.
Shuichi continues crying. As I said, his tears are inexorable. Unless, of course, there's p-
"Yuki-san! You didn't tell me you had pocky!" Shuichi squeals and grabs a small package out of Yuki's coat pocket.
"I don't..." The doorman watches in horror as Shuichi takes a cigarette and pops it into his mouth. "WHA-?! YOU STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID-
"NeneYukisan," Shuichi's eyes get really big. "IFEELVERYHYPERDOYOUYUKISANEHEHDOYATHISISGREATPOCKYWHEREDIDYOUGETITININDIAYOUCANGETGREATCURRYININDIATHEYMADEITYOUKNOWHAVEYOUEVERYHEARDOFSHOUJOKAKUMEIUTENAUTENALOOKSLIKEMEISNTTHATFUNNYHARUKOFROMSAILORMOONLOOKSLIKEYOUANDTHOSETWOAREBOTHLESBIANSTHATSREALLYFUNNYHAHAMAYBEWESHOULDBETOGETHERNEYUKISAN?!?!
Yuki blinks.
"You... Aren't... Dead?
"OFCOURSEIMNOTSILLYTEEHEEYOURECUTEWHENYOURWORRIEDYUKISANACTUALLYYOUREALWAYSCUTEOMINITTLEGRASPERDIDIJUSTSAYTHATOUTLOUDOOPSIMEANTTOSAYYOUREHOTNONOBADSHUICHIBADYOUMEANHESUHIDUNNOBUTTHATSBESIDESTHEPOINTIHAVESOOOOMUCHENERGY!!
Yuki remembers the time a girl told him about how her rabbits ate some cigarettes once, and they got really hyper for a couple hours. (A/N: Actual story from my exclassmate, Jenna.)
"Figures he'd have the same reaction as a rabbit..." Yuki mutters and rolls his eyes.
The few people walking around at this time of night watch as Shuichi bounces back into Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys.
==Back at- Aw, fuck. You know the drill. It's about an hour later.==
"Jeez, Shuichi. How much sugar did he give you?" Ryou sweatdrops and looks at the seemingly wilted Shuichi.
"None, but UGH!! That pocky tasted BAAAAD!!! What the fuck flavor was THAT?! I had, like, an eelurgick reeckshon to it...
"Well, at least you've got friends here, right? ÔCause friendship is more important than ANYTHING!!" Yugi starts to sing a song. "Tuuuurn arooound and we'll be theeeere! In your heart...
"FOREEEEEEVERRRR!!!" Ryou joins in and they both merrily sing away.
"MY friends don't hang around HERE!!" Shuichi says with a glare.
"That's right na no da! You tell Ôem, Shuichi!" Ryuichi says happily. "Kumagoro says rock on na no da!
"Tha- Ryuichi?! What're YOU doing HERE?!?
"Oh! Kumagoro and I always come here on Shiny-Shiny Coloring Saturday na no da! This place has the pico-picoest crayons of all!
"Actually," Yugi stops singing and turns to Ryuichi. "Now they have markers.
"Aw... Kumagoro's saaaaad na no da.
"I think they use crayons on Funny-Fun-Fun Special Drawing Wednesdays.
"Kumagoro's happy again na no da! Ne, Kumagoro-kun?
=:3
"Yup! Abosupositivilutely na no da!
"Oi, Ryuichi.
"Doshio, Shuichi na no ka?
"Do you know how I could get into that club?
"Hm... Let's ask Kumagoro na no da! What should Shuichi do to get into his club, Kumagoro-kun?
=:3
"Great idea na no da! Kumagoro says you should seduce someone and prove that you're of age with sexiness na no da!
"That might work! But who could I possibly seduce...
"Why not just PRETEND to seduce someone?" offers Ryou.
"Me me pick me na no da!" Ryuichi waves his hand around frantically.
"Alright! Let's make a plan...
==Later, at Seguchi's Hell...==
"Hey! Yuki-san!
"Got outa your leather, I see." Yuki glares at Shuichi, subconsciously disappointed about his last statement. "You gonna ask me if you can get in?
"Woah. How'd you know? Are you psycho?
"That's psychIC, baka. And the answer remains no.
"Damn. That leaves me with a lot of sexual frustration. Guess I'll have to fuck around with someone. Like... That guy!
Shuichi saunters over to Ryuichi.
Yuki watches with hidden interest.
Maybe he WAS attracted to the kinky kid with pink hair...
"Hey there, hotstuff. How're you doing?
"I'm fine boy are you looking good tonight wanna go to bed with me na no da." Ryuichi winks and gives Shuichi a thumbs up.
Yuki sees through the facade immediately, but does nothing.
It's not gonna go anywhere.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Shuichi smirks seductively. "Why don't you and me take off to a motel? You and your rabbit friend look like you could HELP me quite a bit. C'mon and make me yours. I challenge you.
Ryuichi's face transforms from that of his usual happy-go-lucky-chibi self to that of his extremely-mature-hot-sexy-face.
"Why not do it right here and now, sexy?
Ryuichi grins and grabs Shuichi.
"Na- Nani... EH?! RYUICHI?! WHAT THE FU- Uuh- Ooh... Ry-Ryuichi...
Was that supposed to happen...?
Yuki watches as his pink-haired hassle starts to get a hand job and notices a certain part of himself growing hard too.
No doubt, he totally wanted that kid.
"RyuUUUuichiIIIII..." Shuichi tries to get out of his friends skilled hands, but is drained of too much energy. "You. Were. SupoOOosed. To. PreteeEEEeeend. ToOOo. Let. MeEEEe. Se- Se- Seduce yoooOOoouuu... Ooh...
"Ah! Gomen, Shuichi, na no da!" Ryuichi immediately drops Shuichi. "BAD RYUICHI BAD RYUICHI NA NO DA!!! BAAAAAAAD!!! RYUICHI MUST BE PUNISHED NA NO DA!!!
Ryuichi runs off, leaving Shuichi on the ground in front of Yuki, panting and struggling with dissatisfaction in certain areas of his life.
"A-Am I old enough?" Shuichi asks hopefully.
"No.
"Dammit. All that work for nothing...
"But I could help you with some of your problems and then let you in...
"What problems?
"Lemme show you.
---
Me: Ah, gomen for grossing you out, DW-chan! Bad HULY! Bad! But I found that fun and I'm happy now. Off to bed and to write some evil Tohma fics. Ja!
Rating: PG-13 (JIK)
Pairings: Shuichi/Yuki
Summary: A random Bad Luck fangirl from Maine sends Shuichi a bottle of Oakhurst milk. But when Shuichi gives some to his idol, and they try to get some more by going to the States by themselves, chaos ensues. After abandoning Yuki, the two pop stars encounter many disasters that could only happen in the US of A. The poor romance novelist follows Shuichi, knowing how much trouble he'll be in, and is forced to bring along a few extra headaches. With OC's, translations gone terribly wrong, and rabid fangirls, this trip couldn't get much weirder.
Disclaimer: I totally own this story idea, but I do not, however, own Gravitation. Which is good, for all you rabid Tohma fangirls. And if you're a Mainer, you'll most likely know what the title is for. And you'll also know, I don't own the logo or company of Oakhurst milk. I don't own Spongebob either. That belongs to Nickelodeon. Bakura and Yugi are property of Kazuki Takahashi.
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Duh. This IS a Gravitation ficcie.) sex jokes, annoying OC's, written by an amateur writer with low self-esteem. (This is my first all Gravi multi-chappie story.) A lot of OOC in this chappie.
Special notes: One thang I'd like to say is that I'm so happy that Gravitation is C'mon' to the US market on June 29th. (The group of Gravi's at my school just found out about it on the 20th) I'm even more happy that Jim Ward (Chet Ubetcha from the Fairly Odd Parents) is voicing Yuki-sama. Now, I just hope he does a good jog at it... This chapter is a parody on the Spongebob episode called "No Weenies Allowed." That of course makes it AU. Alrighty then.
In response to your reviews...
Darklore Wings - I scared you yet again?! Oh man, this is so fun. I love your singing voice. Will you sing for me again? Maybe I'll make you... After all, you did steal my personal phrase. MWEE HEE HEE!!! Just kidding. I think... Gonna get Gravi 6 and the remixes in the mail. WOOT!! Oh, and I forgot.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
All work and no play makes Rory a dull girl.
Are we gonna do the PortAnimeCon or not? I really need to know.
Oh, and sorry in advance for the sexual content in this chappie, but you've probably heard worse from me.
Raynedark - YAY DUMBLAWS.COM!!! And don't be sorry about the long review. I LOVE LONG REVIEWS!!! And it wasn't any of the things you listed. Thankies for the compliment! I take pride in my dreams. They're the only things I do well. Waaa... Monty did come to my house, but I hid in my room the whole time and read FAKE, so it wasn't really that bad at all! 'Cept for the fact I couldn't go online. ;; That caucus was interesting, ne? We have a scary dictat- I MEAN, head mistress. On, and I have a story idea for you. Tohma (or Yuki) tries to commit suicide for one reason or another. So they take an OD of painkillers and antidepressants. And cough syrup just Ôcuz they like it. Doesn't that sound like a YUKI thing to do? Isn't that JUST the sort of thing YUKI would do? Or TOHMA? Not that I'm implying that anything... Just thought you should try something like that.
Ryukio7890 - RYU-CHAN!!! I'm so glad you finally started to read this! It's a dream come true! The tomato is from Demon Diary, and I thought I'd put it in there for a couple of my pals. Yea, you should read their stuff. There the peeps in the review responses above. Check 'em out for me, would ya? Ask Inu-chan and our fave OLDER perv monk "are you?" (It's my usual response to when someone says "hi" to me. I crack myself up...) Glad you like it so far! Next chappie's for you! I've got this one reserved...
Happy Utena-Loving - Hn. I'm not gonna review myself anymore... I hate me. Can I block my own reviews? Stupid me is stalking me... GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID PERSON!!! I DUN LIKE YOU!!! GO AWAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! WAAAAAAA!!!!
Speller-Sama - Ohayo! Great ta hear from ya through FF.Net. You finally got an account. YAY!!! Hey, could I use your Serendipity idea for another extra later? Pwetty pwease?
Angrybee - OMIGODTHANKYOUSOMUCHITMEANSSOMUCHTOMEWHENANAUTHORIREALLYADMIREREVIEWSMEILOVEYOURFICSYOURULEANDIMACTINGLIKESHUICHILIFEJUSTGETSBETTEREVERYDAY!!!! Meh heh. Gomen, gomen, but your stories are the funniest ones I've ever read. I seriously fell on the floor laughing while I was reading them. Your compliments have inspired me to put up this extra and then write some more of the main plot.
---
This chapter is dedicated to two people 'cause I couldn't wait to dedicate it to them in separate chapters.
It's my two otaku pals, Darklore Wings and Raynedark.
And both of them are psycho!
I mean, psychic.
Well, now that I think about it, they can kinda be both...
Ohayo, K-san and Hiro!
Hope y'all get to see Gravi in English and that we call all go the the PortAnimeCon!
hands you both Yu Yu Hakusho plushies & a Kuwabara voodoo doll
---
Chapter Six: Special Extra! No Retards Allowed (or) Shuichi Aint No Me- Mince- Mom- Dumb Boy
---
Today is a very special day for Shuichi Shindou.
Why, do you ask?
Because today is the day that he and his best friend Hiroshi Nakano go out for a night on the town.
And here they are in the middle of the city in the middle of the night.
"Wow! Hiro! It's so- So-"
"Big?" Hiroshi grins at his younger friend. "You should really get out more."
"Was that an insult?! W A A A A A A A!!!!"
Shuichi starts to cry.
Hiro sweatdrops.
"Ah, warui, Shuichi. Gomen."
"Hmph!" Shuichi pouts.
"Let's just go to a club or something, ne, Shu-chan?"
"Okay, Hiro! Howsabout... That one!"
Shuichi points to a very exclusive looking club with a sign that says, "SEGUCHI'S HOUSE OF HELL."
"Sure!"
The two friends walk up the the door keeper guy.
He has blond hair and evil looking yellow eyes.
"Hello, I'm going to need some ID." he says to Hiro with a glare that could scare Fujisaki.
"Uh, yea." Hiro takes out his wallet and shows the guy his license. "See?"
"Fine, you can go in." The door keeper guy opens the door.
"See you inside, Shuichi!"
Hiro disappears into the building and the door closes behind him.
"Hi! I wanna go in, please!" Shuichi says with a smile.
The door keeper guy twitches.
"Riiiight. ID, kid."
"Here ya-" Shuichi reaches into his pocket, but finds nothing but a serious lack of wallet. "NANI?! WHERE'D IT GO?! MISTER WALLET, WHERE ARE Y O O O O U?!"
The door keeper guy starts twitching again and sweatdrops as Shuichi crawls around on the ground calling for "Silly Ol' Mister Wallet."
Shu-chan gives up after a couple minutes.
"Uh... I can't find it, but my friend Hiro could go in, so I can too, right?"
"Kid, that's the fucking oldest trick in the book. I'd be surprised if you could even legally watch a PG13 movie by yourself. Get the hell out of here. Why not go over there?"
Mister Meanie Pants points across the street.
"LITTLE TIKE'S DAYCARE CENTER FOR MENTALLY CHALLENGED BOYS?!" Shuichi squeals.
"Actual, I was pointing the place next to it."
"LITTLE TIKE'S DAYCARE CENTER FOR THE SEVERALLY MENTALLY IMPAIRED GIRLS?! WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Beat it, kiddo. I don't have time for you."
Mister Meanie Pants gives him a glare that even K-san couldn't handle without crying.
==A couple minutes later==
Shuichi gnaws on his Strawberry Pocky at Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys.
"So, Yugi, how's your collection going so far?" an albino kid with long hair asks his star-headed friend, who's name was apparently Yugi.
"Well, Bakura, I actually just got some new cards that'll give my Dark Magician a major boost in power!"
"Excuse me, wittwe mentawy chawenged boy with vewy cute pink haiw," says a waitress. "Would you wike some mowe yummy pocky?"
"I AM NOT A MENTAWY CHAWENGED BOY!!!" Shuichi yells. "Not like YOU TWO talking about some STUPID card game!"
"STUPID CARD GAME?!"
Bakura and Yugi both get really scary eyes and their hair changes.
"Uh..."
Shuichi runs out the door.
==Just a matter of seconds later==
"C'MON!!! WOULD YOU P L E A S E LEMME IN?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!"
Shuichi was sobbing and clawing at Mister Meanie Pants' feet.
"No."
"PLEASE?!"
"No."
"PLEASE?!"
"NO!!! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL MAKE YOU!!!"
Shuichi looks up at him. Biting his lip and putting on his uberly cute puppy dog eyes, he lets out a small, "Pwetty pwetty pwease? I swear I'm old enough! I really am matu-"
"Hey, Eiri," says a voice behind him.
"MEEP!!!"
Shuichi latches the glaring and twitching man's torso.
"Hey, Tatsuha."
"Who is this, your new fuck toy or something, aniki?" Tatsuha gives Shuichi a look over. "It's hard enough, seeing we have the same taste in woman and all, but if we're gonna start sharin' the fellers..."
"He's. Not. My. Fuck. Toy. You pain in the ass."
"Suuure, aniki. Whatever. See ya later, Eiri!"
Tatsuha waves and walks in the building.
"So, your name's Eiri, huh?" Shuichi asks, still clinging to him.
"Yea, but if you're going to fucking call me anything, it's Yuki."
"Yuki? Suits you well enough...
"Enough, kid. Go back to your house of mini-morons.
==Back at Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys==
"Stupid Yuki... Stupid wallet... Stupid Little Ties Day Share Center For... Whatever the hell the name is." Shuichi mutters.
Bakura and Yugi are back to normal and sitting on either side of him.
"Aw... Don't feel bad! You're not alone!" Yugi says cheerfully. "We can keep you company, Shu-chan!
"Yup!" Bakura nods.
"BUT I'M NOT A ME- A mem- A mint- A stupid kid.
Shuichi slams his head down on the counter in front of him.
"Hm... Maybe what you need is some cool duds! pipes up Yugi. "Y'know, like leather or something!
"That's a good idea!" Shuichi sits up. "Thanks, dork!
He runs out the door, laughing maniacally.
"But, Yugi, look at you!" Bakura points to Yugi's outfit of leather, chains, and lots of BDSM-looking stuff.
"Oh yea! I forgot about that. If ya don't have the attitude to go with the looks, you get ravished on the spot!
"...
"...Oops?
==About half an hour later==
Yuki stands at his post in front of Seguchi's House Of Hell.
A certain pink haired nuisance is all that lingers on his mind.
The reason is one that not even HE knows, that is until...
"Oi! Mister Door Holder Dude!
"Eh?
Yuki blinks twice, contemplating if he's finally gone over the deep end.
Standing before him, in all his seductively cute glory, was Shuichi Shindou: donning an outfit that revealed most of his skin and kept the rest quite tightly covered. And when I say tight, I mean so tight you could almost see THE THINGS they covered. (A/N: Yummy!)
A look of lust plays across Yuki's face as he admires all of Shuichi's fine curves. But that doesn't take him for than two seconds, so he (tries to) replace all longing for the younger man with disgust.
"Er... I'm Shu- Shuka Shin- Shimbo. Yea, Shuka Shimbo.
Yuki attempts to roll his eyes, but they remain glued to the pink-haired boy's body.
"Riiiight... And I'm Amy Yarborough, age 69.
"Nani?" Shuichi blinks. "Emi Yalabolou? I thought your name was Eiri Yuki and you were like, twenty something!
"It is and I am, you moron. And yours is Shuichi Shindou and you're not allowed into here.
"Wha- HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?!" Shuichi's inexorable crying starts up again. "YUGI SAID I COULD GET IN IF I WORE THIS STUFF!! WHAT AM I GONNA D O O O O?! W A A A!!! LET ME IN, YUKI-SAN!! O N E G A I!!!
"U-URUSEI!!!
Yuki tries to dislodge the sobbing monkey clinging to his leg, but his attempts are in vain. Not that he really minds, quite the contrary actually, but that would ruin his image of being a one hundred percent straight, cold-hearted bastard.
Y U K I - S A N!!
"THIS IS JUST PROVING THE FACT THAT YOU'RE AN UNDERAGED, MORONIC BRAT WHO DRESSES LIKE A WHORE!!!
Many men - and a few women - on the street look around hopefully at the last word Yuki said.
Yuki sweatdrops.
Shuichi continues crying. As I said, his tears are inexorable. Unless, of course, there's p-
"Yuki-san! You didn't tell me you had pocky!" Shuichi squeals and grabs a small package out of Yuki's coat pocket.
"I don't..." The doorman watches in horror as Shuichi takes a cigarette and pops it into his mouth. "WHA-?! YOU STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID-
"NeneYukisan," Shuichi's eyes get really big. "IFEELVERYHYPERDOYOUYUKISANEHEHDOYATHISISGREATPOCKYWHEREDIDYOUGETITININDIAYOUCANGETGREATCURRYININDIATHEYMADEITYOUKNOWHAVEYOUEVERYHEARDOFSHOUJOKAKUMEIUTENAUTENALOOKSLIKEMEISNTTHATFUNNYHARUKOFROMSAILORMOONLOOKSLIKEYOUANDTHOSETWOAREBOTHLESBIANSTHATSREALLYFUNNYHAHAMAYBEWESHOULDBETOGETHERNEYUKISAN?!?!
Yuki blinks.
"You... Aren't... Dead?
"OFCOURSEIMNOTSILLYTEEHEEYOURECUTEWHENYOURWORRIEDYUKISANACTUALLYYOUREALWAYSCUTEOMINITTLEGRASPERDIDIJUSTSAYTHATOUTLOUDOOPSIMEANTTOSAYYOUREHOTNONOBADSHUICHIBADYOUMEANHESUHIDUNNOBUTTHATSBESIDESTHEPOINTIHAVESOOOOMUCHENERGY!!
Yuki remembers the time a girl told him about how her rabbits ate some cigarettes once, and they got really hyper for a couple hours. (A/N: Actual story from my exclassmate, Jenna.)
"Figures he'd have the same reaction as a rabbit..." Yuki mutters and rolls his eyes.
The few people walking around at this time of night watch as Shuichi bounces back into Little Tike's Daycare Center For Mentally Challenged Boys.
==Back at- Aw, fuck. You know the drill. It's about an hour later.==
"Jeez, Shuichi. How much sugar did he give you?" Ryou sweatdrops and looks at the seemingly wilted Shuichi.
"None, but UGH!! That pocky tasted BAAAAD!!! What the fuck flavor was THAT?! I had, like, an eelurgick reeckshon to it...
"Well, at least you've got friends here, right? ÔCause friendship is more important than ANYTHING!!" Yugi starts to sing a song. "Tuuuurn arooound and we'll be theeeere! In your heart...
"FOREEEEEEVERRRR!!!" Ryou joins in and they both merrily sing away.
"MY friends don't hang around HERE!!" Shuichi says with a glare.
"That's right na no da! You tell Ôem, Shuichi!" Ryuichi says happily. "Kumagoro says rock on na no da!
"Tha- Ryuichi?! What're YOU doing HERE?!?
"Oh! Kumagoro and I always come here on Shiny-Shiny Coloring Saturday na no da! This place has the pico-picoest crayons of all!
"Actually," Yugi stops singing and turns to Ryuichi. "Now they have markers.
"Aw... Kumagoro's saaaaad na no da.
"I think they use crayons on Funny-Fun-Fun Special Drawing Wednesdays.
"Kumagoro's happy again na no da! Ne, Kumagoro-kun?
=:3
"Yup! Abosupositivilutely na no da!
"Oi, Ryuichi.
"Doshio, Shuichi na no ka?
"Do you know how I could get into that club?
"Hm... Let's ask Kumagoro na no da! What should Shuichi do to get into his club, Kumagoro-kun?
=:3
"Great idea na no da! Kumagoro says you should seduce someone and prove that you're of age with sexiness na no da!
"That might work! But who could I possibly seduce...
"Why not just PRETEND to seduce someone?" offers Ryou.
"Me me pick me na no da!" Ryuichi waves his hand around frantically.
"Alright! Let's make a plan...
==Later, at Seguchi's Hell...==
"Hey! Yuki-san!
"Got outa your leather, I see." Yuki glares at Shuichi, subconsciously disappointed about his last statement. "You gonna ask me if you can get in?
"Woah. How'd you know? Are you psycho?
"That's psychIC, baka. And the answer remains no.
"Damn. That leaves me with a lot of sexual frustration. Guess I'll have to fuck around with someone. Like... That guy!
Shuichi saunters over to Ryuichi.
Yuki watches with hidden interest.
Maybe he WAS attracted to the kinky kid with pink hair...
"Hey there, hotstuff. How're you doing?
"I'm fine boy are you looking good tonight wanna go to bed with me na no da." Ryuichi winks and gives Shuichi a thumbs up.
Yuki sees through the facade immediately, but does nothing.
It's not gonna go anywhere.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Shuichi smirks seductively. "Why don't you and me take off to a motel? You and your rabbit friend look like you could HELP me quite a bit. C'mon and make me yours. I challenge you.
Ryuichi's face transforms from that of his usual happy-go-lucky-chibi self to that of his extremely-mature-hot-sexy-face.
"Why not do it right here and now, sexy?
Ryuichi grins and grabs Shuichi.
"Na- Nani... EH?! RYUICHI?! WHAT THE FU- Uuh- Ooh... Ry-Ryuichi...
Was that supposed to happen...?
Yuki watches as his pink-haired hassle starts to get a hand job and notices a certain part of himself growing hard too.
No doubt, he totally wanted that kid.
"RyuUUUuichiIIIII..." Shuichi tries to get out of his friends skilled hands, but is drained of too much energy. "You. Were. SupoOOosed. To. PreteeEEEeeend. ToOOo. Let. MeEEEe. Se- Se- Seduce yoooOOoouuu... Ooh...
"Ah! Gomen, Shuichi, na no da!" Ryuichi immediately drops Shuichi. "BAD RYUICHI BAD RYUICHI NA NO DA!!! BAAAAAAAD!!! RYUICHI MUST BE PUNISHED NA NO DA!!!
Ryuichi runs off, leaving Shuichi on the ground in front of Yuki, panting and struggling with dissatisfaction in certain areas of his life.
"A-Am I old enough?" Shuichi asks hopefully.
"No.
"Dammit. All that work for nothing...
"But I could help you with some of your problems and then let you in...
"What problems?
"Lemme show you.
---
Me: Ah, gomen for grossing you out, DW-chan! Bad HULY! Bad! But I found that fun and I'm happy now. Off to bed and to write some evil Tohma fics. Ja!