Chapter 2: Hot Pirates!

Disclaimer: Like I said in the last chapter.....I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER!!!!
Don't sue.

Author's Note (in a strong British accent) What the bloody hell is an
author's note??

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Malfoy, Neville, Ginny, and Dean are still in the
compartment on the Hogwarts Express when suddenly it jerks to a sudden
stop. Everyone falls to the floor.
Ron: What the –

Malfoy: Owwwie!!!!

Ginny: Is everyone okay??

Malfoy (sobbing hysterically): Nooooo!!!

Dean: Why?? What happened? Are you dead??

Hermione: No you idiot. If he was dead he wouldn't be talking!

Dean: Not necessarily. It's like when you cut off a chicken's head and it
keeps running around.

Neville: Let's cut off his head and see what happens!!!

Malfoy: Noooooo!!!!

Ron: What happened Malfoy? Where does it hurt?

Ginny (snickers): What are you gonna give him a massage?

Malfoy: Oooo!! I'd like that!

Ron: Oh shut up and tell me what happened.

Malfoy: I broke a nail!

Hermione and Ginny gasped.

Hermione and Ginny: Oh no!!!

Dean: Ooooo....I wish I could elope with a cantaloupe....but a cantaloupe can't
elope with me....but if I could elope with a cantaloupe....I would eat all of
my babies for free!!!!

Ginny (gasps and slaps him): I knew it!! You've been cheating on me!!!!
It's over!!!!

Suddenly the door opens and in walks a dementor.

Professor Lupin suddenly apparates into the compartment.

Lupin: Leave now. None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks.

Neville: Um....actually....

He opens up his cloak and Sirius Black is sitting on a built in beach
drinking a Pina Colada.

Siruis: Hey y'all! (Looking at the dementor) I swear it's not alcoholic.
Rum makes me puke anyway. I can't see how Johnny Depp could stand drinking
rum in Pirates of the Caribbean. He's really funny though. Did you see Secret
Window? I couldn't because after I saw The Ring –

Neville closed his cloak quickly before he could say anymore.

Neville: Um...he likes to talk.

Hermione: Obviously.

Malfoy: Johnny Depp is hot.

Ron (dreamily): I know.

Everyone looks at him until the dementor cleared his throat.

Dementor: I don't care about Sirius Black or Johnny Depp. I am looking for
a Harry Potter.

Harry: That's me!!!!!

The dementor blushes.

Dementor: Can – Can I have your autograph?

Ron: Nooooo!!! Not until I get one!!!! I've been asking for years!!!!

Harry gives both Ron and the Dementor autographed tissues.

Harry: I always keep a few on me for travel purposes.

After the dementor leaves, the train starts moving again.

Harry pulls out a container of yogurt and sees Ron eyeing it.

Harry: Would you like some?

Ron: Um...is it custard style?

Harry: Nope sorry it's not.

Ron: Ewww...never mind then.

Harry shrugs. Then he starts singing.

Harry: I can lay my head down. I can say anything crazy;
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground. Nothing but a t-shirt
on; I never felt so beautiful, baby as I do now. Now that I'm with you!

Ron: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE JESSICA
SIMPSON DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued......MORE DOTS!!!!