Chapter Three: Welcome Back

Disclaimer: I wonder if you have to say in every chapter "I don't own Harry
Potter". Oh well I don't care. I'm gonna say it anyways! I DON'T OWN HARRY
POTTER. There.

Author's Note: AAAHHHHH!!!! The penguins are stealing my sanity!!!! Oh ya,
by the way....thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em comin!!

5 hours later, the students finally get off the Hogwarts Express and enter
the Great Hall. They sit down at their house tables and wait for
Dumbledore's start of term speech.

Dumbledore: Welcome back! Welcome Back! I would like to introduce our new
defense against the dark arts teacher, Professor Kim Possible. I expect all
of you to treat Professor Possible with the highest regard of respect.
Would you like to say a few words Professor?

Professor Possible: WHAT IS THAT?!? THAT SUPER FREAKY THING?!?

Everyone: NAKED MOLE RAT!!!!

Professor Possible: Thank you Professor Dumbledore.

Dumbledore: Yes, yes. Moving on, I am also delighted to tell you that
Professor Snape will be teaching Divination this year. There will be no
Potions this year because Potions sucks. Thank you. Tuck in!

The tables magically filled with food. At the Gryffindor table, Harry and
Ron are filling their plates with pizza and french fries. Hermione isn't
eating.

Harry: Hey Hermione, why aren't you eating?

Hermione: Everything has too many carbs. Except this pumpkin juice. It's
delicious!

Ron: You're way juiced up! No more pumpkin juice for you!

Harry: Juiced up! Juiced up!

Ron: Since when do you care about carbs?

Hermione: Since a week ago. I'm going on the Atkins' Diet.

Harry: Who's Atkins?

Suddenly the great oak doors to the Great Hall opened and there stood a
telegram messenger.

Messenger: I – am – your singing telegram!

POW!!!!

Ron: What the bloody hell was that?!?

Professor Dumbledore: Well that was interesting. Now I think it's time for
bed. Nighty Night.

All the students went out into the entrance hall and up to their
dormitories. Then Justin Flinch-Fletchy came up to Harry.

Justin: Hey Harry! I don't like you anymore. Pinocchio!



Harry's nose started growing until it was 5 feet long.

Hermione: Tell the truth!

Harry: What do I say?!?

Ron: Um...Say you're not wearing a thong!!!!

Harry: Um...I'm not wearing a thong.

Harry's nose grew another inch.

Ron: OMG...

Malfoy: It's a pink thong!!!!

Everyone: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

To Be Continued....