Chapter 2: Elementary Dodgeball Blues
"I pick Dave!" A fourth grader pointed at the tall blonde bloke next to me.
"Pulkiss!" Dudley picked one of his gooneys.
'Please don't pick me last please, please don't pick me last!!' I desperately thought.
"Hmmm..." the kid voiced aloud... judging us... like a piece of meat. "Amanda!"
'A GIRL!? HE PICKED A GIRL INSTEAD OF ME!?"
"Uh... Randy!" Dudley chose yet another one of his huge gooneys...
'Okay, relax, it's just me and the cripple kid... there is no way EVER that I'm going to be picked last'
"You!"
"Me!" as I step forward with a sigh of relief he looks at me as if he had stepped on a pile of sh-
"NOT YOU!! THE CRIPPLE KID!!!"
"Oh... ok" and I step back... at least I would be able to play...
"AWW MAN!!! I Don't want HIM on my team!! He stinks!!!" Dudley stomped on the floor... causing a small earthquake... but not so small that is would not be noticed on the scale... but that is besides the point of this story...
"I'll pick the rock!" Dudley bent over and picked up a small rock.
"A rock? A rock!? YOU CAN'T PICK A ROCK OVER ME! FOR CHRIST SAKE'S I'M NOT THAT BAD!" I screamed in frustration.
"Sorry Dud's you're stuck with the Potter kid"
"Why!?"
"Because you already used up your inanimate object quota for the week!"
"No I still get one more!"
"No you used it up with the mailbox"
"Oh right..." Dudley groaned. "all right c'mon Potter!"
The whistle blew hard, the game had begun. Both team captains ran to the center of the basketball court as I was left hiding behind one of my team mates.
The fourth grader got the balls and they began pelting us furiously. As one of them headed towards me I panicked and ran in circles flailing my arms and screaming, oddly enough like a little schoolgirl... anyways I hit Pulkiss square in the face and rendered him unconscious...he was then hit by a dodgeball so he was out.
More balls came flying towards me and I kept up my strategy of... acting like a pussy and screaming at the top of my lungs... the downside of this was that I somehow managed to knock out all of my team mates... It was only me and Duds now.
The out of nowhere one came rushing towards me... there was no time for me to dodge it! So I caught it! I caught a ball! So I did a little victory dance. The I aimed at the crippled kid... there was no way he would dodge this attack! I summoned al my strength and threw the ball as hard as I could... roughly five feet in distance.
Then I saw it, the thing that would surely be the end of us... that unnaturally huge fourth grader threw the ball at Dudley with all his might... I thought that if Dudley was eliminated... I wouldn't have a chance! So I ran as fast as I could and threw myself to protect my not-so-beloved cousin... but this being the huge ball and me being not-so-huge-in-fact-incredibly- scrawny little runt It hit me in the face, broke my glasses, for some unknown reason bounced off and hit Dudley in the nuts with incredible speed. The he fell to the floor in a fetal position cradling his er... manhood.
When the game was over I got a beating from my team... and a nice nuclear wedgie that would last me a lifetime.
"HARRY YOU IDIOT!!"
"I was only trying to help!"
"Damn Dud! You should have gone with the rock!" Pulkiss said simultaneously tripping me over and kicking my backside... I swear I will get him one day and rip his friggin'... of sorry got off topic again.
"And that's why I hate dodgeball" Harry stated.
"Wow..." Ron said as if noticing that he was there for the first time.
"You DO know that we weren't paying attention..." Hermione said eyeing Ron as he downed a whole keg of pumpkin juice.
"yeah... but the least you could do is just nod and smile..." Harry plopped his head down on the table hard.
"Harry don't do that you're killing brain cells" Ron said.
'As if YOU have any left...' Harry thought.