More notes for this chapter- Again, the timeline is based on vaguely implied times and ages from the movie and other various Kim Possible episodes. Middleton geography is entirely fabricated. I haven't seen the 'Go Team Go' episode for quite some time, so I'm basically just borrowing the characters and building from that episode; I'll try to keep to the details canon, but my memory is sketchy. Please see the bottom of the page for details and sources regarding the financial statistics and references used in this part. As always, I don't own Kim Possible or any related characters.
Thanks to everyone who sent reviews and feedback! I never anticipated such an enthusiastic response, so I'm extra motivated to get new parts out now. This is a little bit shorter than I had wanted to put out, but I didn't want to keep people waiting too long either. Thank you all so much! -
This chapter sort of takes off in a different direction than the first part, by nobody worry- it'll come together soon, I promise. Like the last one, this part is assuming the timeline set by the beginning of the Kim Possible movie- that is, the timeline established when Shego DID take over the world, is still in existence. A few minor points are glossed over here, because they aren't really relevant to this story, footnotes are at the end if you really want details.
Chapter 1- The Naive, the Used, and the Vile
A world with Kim Possible would always be safe. Kooky perhaps, and if lacking in the more rational sensibilities of life, it was more than made up for by widespread enjoyment of the humorous antics that always seemed to result in Kim's latest and greatest victory over the forces of evil.
In short, the people of Earth- Middleton, in particular- believed a well-conceived lie.
They were safe.
The poor fools.
Middleton, 2004 A.D.
At the tender age of 13, one Kim Possible giggled madly as she plugged in a shiny new computer in her room for the very first time. A few days later, she had used a chunk of her birthday money (with some help from Mom's credit card, she begrudgingly admitted) to bring to life what would later become the single most influential thing in her existence and a shining beacon of hope to countless others-
The days and years went on from that point, as they are wont to do. Small changes, hardly noticeable in the grand scheme of time, or the day-to-day monotony that even Kim Possible and her compatriots are subject to, began to show themselves. The squeals and giggles of a young heart were replaced by a softer, brighter laugh that came with age and deeper understanding of the world. The website calls slowly became less and less likely to be a cat caught in a tree and more often involved thwarting headstrong megalomaniacs. Instead of checking daily email, an enterprising young super-genius soon fielded the calls to action from afar. And the young girls of Middleton gradually turned into the young women of Middleton, trading in dolls and sleepovers for boyfriends and dates.
And, unlike as in most things, this time Kim Possible proved to be no exception.
This fact was the source of increasing consternation much of the local male population, but a single figure in particular felt the pains of adulthood drumming most uneasily on his heart. It started innocently enough while en route to school, near the end of the senior year of high school for our heroes. Being well into the fair part of spring, Kim and Ron were both sporting light clothes- Ron; his signature Smarty-Mart (tm) red t-shirt and sweatshirt combo, and Kim; a lightweight white peasant blouse. Kim liked the delicate fabric because it was light and cool, Ron liked it because it wasn't nearly so fitted as most of her other clothing, and therefore attracted much less attention.
After all, he thought, HIS attention didn't really count..."Because I have a GIRLFRIEND," He amended to himself, "who is NOT Kim."
Since Kim was his best friend, it seemed rude and inconsequential to make mention of this notion to her.
"And they say chivalry is dead," thought Ron, temporarily forgetting his re-affirmation that he did, in fact, have a bone fide girlfriend of his own. Her outfits hadn't bothered Ron much, before he left. But upon his return after a year in Norway (1), he found that his blood pressure tended to vary according to the amount of skin she had showing on a given day.
It was a short walk from Ron's home to the corner of Maple and Hamsted, where he met Kim every morning before school. For the most part, worries over the most recent or impending Advanced Latin exam or (rather heated) debate with Rufus over exactly WHICH ratio of cheese-to-Diablo-sauce made for the best Naco flavor took up his thoughts for the solo duration of it. Kim being Kim, and Ron being Ron, he was consistently the latter of the two to arrive at the spot, and after his appearance the pair immediately set forth for school together.
This day was not exception. On that point, at least.
There one slight difference in another area, however.
The Carpacci's, who had lived at 1422 Hamsted Drive, right at the corner of Maple, for as long as anyone could remember, were a very polite and longtime retired couple. Ever since Mr. Carpacci began devoting his weekends to upstate fishing trips, Mrs. Carpacci channeled all of her spare time into her first love, gardening. And it just so happened that this spring was the first time she had come to embrace the miracle of an automated sprinkler system- set to go off at 7:45 am, sharp. It was a top of the line system; a gift from Mr. Carpacci to his beloved wife for their anniversary. It delivered a sound stream of water at exact intervals of time, to save both the Middleton Garden Club's First Place winning Azaleas, and Mrs. Carpacci's arthritic knees.
The design, flawless. The execution, less so.
Later that afternoon, Kim would go over to the Carpacci's and offer to rotate the sprinkler heads to spray the lawn, rather than the sidewalk. But as of 7:44 that morning, Kim still stood on the corner, faithfully waiting in blissful ignorance. But as Ron rounded the bend to greet his best friend, he was met with a VERY peculiar sight.
Kim Possible, wearing a thin, white, and soaking wet shirt.
Ron's breath immediately caught. A man would have to be an idiot AND blind not to appreciate the figure she made. And Ron was pretty sure his vision was perfect. While it may not have been on par with his favorite type of dreams, it certainly beat the hell out of the Victoria's Secret catalogue.
"Damn," he thought, "that's a really good look for her...Is the thought that I WOULD be having, if I didn't already have a GIRLFRIEND, who is NOT Kim." He glanced quickly at his watch before returning to his steady gaze, as Kim continued to look at him with a combination evil glare and pathetic puppy dog pout. "OK, we're already going to be late; it would be easy enough to skip class and just ha-" Ron's internal thoughts were thankfully put to an abrupt end when Kim reached boiling point.
"Would you stop STARING at me? What am I going to do? I can't go to school like this! Look at me! And stop staring! What are people going to say?"
"Uhhh..." Caught between mild confusion, ogling, and near-hyperventilation, Ron suddenly lost that oh-so critical connection between thought and speech. Bad-timing.
"You ever think of entering a wet T-shirt contest with that, KP?"
Ron didn't see the Latin textbook flying towards his head until it was far too late. Thick as it was, it had no problem knocking flat off his feet. But from this new position on his back, he found he could admire Kim's shirt just as easily as before when she leaned over his head.
"You think this is real funny, don't you?" The Glare clearly added 'Don't answer that if you know what's good for you.'
So Ron scrunched up his face and tried his hardest to think of... something. Yet this particular perspective gave him a much better (or worse, depending on one's opinion) view of the transparent material clinging to the chest of..."NOT my girlfriend. I already HAVE a girlfriend. Who is-"
"Kim!" A small voice from the Kimmunicator interrupted the awkward tableau.
"Hey Wade, what's the si-"
"Geez Kim! How many times do I have to say it! Don't turn on the visual when you're not decently dress-Hey, is that Ron underneath you?"
"It's not like that! See, I was waiting alone and then I got all wet and Ron came up and-"
"Urgh...No big, I'll call back. This wasn't important."
"No! ...RON! Tell him what happened!"
This small conversation had given Ron enough time to reach at least one reasonable conclusion- as long as Kim's shirt was tightly stuck to her heaving- rather, as long as her shirt was drenched, his ability to make coherent conversation was severely hampered. He had to find a way out of this mess...Maybe if she had something else to wear.
"Would it be better if I took off my shirt?"
Kim closed her eyes, silently wondering why fate hated her; Wade simply grinned and the Kimmunicator display went back to its familiar logo.
Zita Flores was a pretty understanding girlfriend. One had to be, when one's boyfriend was often called away to exotic parts of the world to rub elbows with super-villains and genetically-altered monkey men in the company of a teenage hero.
But even she had her limits.
And that line was rapidly approaching as she watched Kim Possible shift sideways to reach for her Latin notebook. Wearing her boyfriend's T-shirt.
It wasn't so much that fact that Kim was wearing it- she certainly didn't begrudge her friend the need for a decent shirt. It's just that, well...did it have to be Ron's? Perhaps it wasn't even the shirt...maybe it was more Ron's reaction.
In most cases, Advanced Latin was Zita's least favorite class; she hadn't particularly wanted to take it, but had dropped her calculus class in order to get in and share more of her day with her often departed boyfriend. The move didn't do much good. Ron and Kim always sat next to each other, and though Zita usually arrived early enough to snag the chair right behind him, Ron spent most of the class passing notes to his best friend. Who was not Zita.
But now Ron sat straight up, staring nowhere but directly to the front as the Latin lecture droned on before him. It would have been humorous to see the teacher so unnerved by this, if it hadn't bothered Zita just as much. He had been all but ignoring both her and Kim ever since he sat down, sparing only a quick (and perhaps apologetic?) glance Zita's direction. There must have been some type of emotion on her face just then, because Ron's face paled and hardened all at once. She saw that he was swallowing quite often, something he only did when uneasy. She read him so effortlessly- didn't he know that? And what she saw at that moment forced the air out of her lungs and numbed her stomach.
Pride. And guilt.
Part of her was angry when Kim and Ron walked in late to class, together. Kim, wearing his shirt, laughingly explained their early morning antics, and Ron with a small flush that Zita had never seen before, kept dark eyes intently on her smile and nodded in all the right places to add credence to the tale.
But a bigger part of her knew the truth.
It was over, maybe Ron didn't even know it, but it was. She wanted to be livid- the spurned lover that had been wronged by malicious fate. But instead there was that same numbness, and the horrible sensation that she brought it upon herself. It was obvious, even before she and Ron began dating, that his affections lied elsewhere. Had she wanted to be with him so badly that she simply ignored it, or convinced herself that it would go away in time? Surely, Zita had enough faith in herself to think that she could share something special with Ron; was that arrogance, or just...longing? And Ron...it takes two, after all...
Zita sighed. This would have to be dealt with sooner or later. Later, she decided, leaning back in her chair. Denial was easy, and Ron was kind of cute when he pretended to take notes.
Go City, 2004 A.D.
Shego mentally cursed the cab driver as she paid for her fare. Can you imagine, her, a future world sovereign, paying for transportation anywhere? There was one strong lesson her experiences past and present had taught her- Time Monkey does not a monarch make. Sure, the whole 'try, try again' thing was a lot easier, but what a waste! Three armies defeated at the hands of various international partnerships- and one made entirely of clones, no less! Clearly, outright violent tactics would have to wait until the armed forces of the world were entirely under her thumb.
So today, she began her new strategy.
Rather than continue to make attempt after attempt to simply overthrow the world with brute strength, Shego decided to employ a less direct approach. Her morning was booked solid with running errands to collect the start-up capital for this latest venture.
Ahh...Capitalism.
New York, New York: November 12, 1998 A.D.
The New York Stock Exchange was abuzz with rumors and shouting; the opening bell had sounded in the market a few mere hours ago and, per usual, chaos reigned on the floor with a firm hand. Today however, the bedlam was above and beyond the normal degree, as TheGlobe IPO soared near unheard of 800 percent increases (2). The lucky few who held any of it were in ecstasy, but most looked on in absurd jealously. A single figure dressed in green and black looked especially smug, but no one paid her any mind; after all, she always seemed to be around, lurking in that corner these days, looking for all the world as if she knew something no one else did.
New York, New York: April 12, 1996 A.D.
A thin, odd-looking, but certainly beautiful, woman quietly strode into the office. The receptionist took a quick look, not wanting to seem impolite, but almost immediately formed a harsh opinion in her head. The strange outfit was bad enough- perhaps one of those super-fashionable getups from Europe?
"Obviously she's just some airhead playing the stocks with Daddy's money." The receptionist thought, "Why else would she just walk in and dump so much money into something so unproven? Like she just knows this Yahoo! thing will really stick around long enough to make her something." (3)
Go City, 2004 A.D.
Bank account well fortified and evil plan firmly in place, Shego closed the door to her cab and purposefully advanced up the entranceway of the building before her.
Ahh...Home sweet home. Go Tower.
Time to put those acting lessons to work. The simpering morons callings themselves 'Team Go' ought to be easy enough to befuddle.
And after all, a little diversification didn't sound too bad.
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1Two things here: one, a story without Ron wouldn't be much fun at all, so my theory is that Ron's family spent a year in Norway, and returned in time for him to spend his senior year at Middleton. The time apart was still enough to change the dynamic between him and Kim (which we will see more of later) and thus still essentially breaking up the team as Shego claimed to have done in the movie. Two, for the whole 'started a bank' thing, Shego did start a bank, but sold her interest in it in order to gain the money to invest in the stock market. Neither of these details are very important to the story and are omitted, but are mentioned here for the sake of completeness.
2 To my knowledge, TheGlobe. com still retains the record for any IPO- it closed its first day at over 600% up. As Shego claims to have gotten "big into dot-coms" and get out "before the bubble burst", this seems like a likely choice for her, as it now runs around 30 cents a share when it was once over $60.
3 Yahoo! opened for public trade in April of '96, about two years after it was first founded. The receptionist's attitude is entirely made up- Yahoo! is obviously very successful, and its public launch was anticipated to do very well, which it did- chalk this up to artistic license again. I chose this one because of its staying power, which Shego would need to continue running an evil empire until she get control of the world and its money;-).
(Sources for both of these come from and The New York Observer, many thanks to those who helped! I am by no means a financial expert, so I beg leniency and ask that if anyone spots some glaring errors, I would appreciate it if you could let me know!)