To The Rescue
Disclaimer: RK and characters are not mine. Dear Watsuki-sama, please give me the rights to RK for Christmas. I expect to see you jolly down my chimney December 24th.
Author's Notes: You'd think because this was my first fic, I'd be a pretty dedicated updater. Definitely not the case, people. There has been some serious dedication, but certainly not on my part. Thanks to all the reviewers. You guys rock and I don't want to disappoint you. For anyone who actually cares about my personal affairs, I've finalized where I'm applying (BU, Bowdoin, Drew, and Vassar) and got my last application handed in last Friday. Yay! So here I am writing out chapter 5 at 1 in the morning. Ah, don't you just love Thanksgiving break?
" " – conversation
[italicized] – thoughts
:: :: - actions
**
What Aoshi was experiencing at that moment words could not describe. Oh Misao's already in the water. He began to take his shirt off when suddenly he took a double take. Who is that with Misao and why the fuck are they kissing?!
She opened her eyes and a scream broke the peaceful silence.
"HLLO RADIE. PUCKRRRR UP!"
**
Chapter 5: That Naked Little Bastard!
"Ahhhhhhhhh!"
Misao's scream echoed like a thousand drums in Hiko's head. Chibi-Misao spit out the alcohol taste from her mouth and whipped out her handy dandy toothbrush. Why me?! The man of my dreams and I were ready to get it on in the lake of love and I end up smooching some middle aged drunken freak!
"You dirty ::smack:: bastard, ::smack:: get ::smack:: away ::smack:: from ::smack:: me!"
Misao continued to beat Hiko with punches so strong he couldn't even see straight, not that his state of inebriation helped the situation. She just couldn't believe it. What a baka yarou! He just had to go and ruin my fantasy come true with Aoshi-sama! HE'S GONNA PAY! Misao just hit harder until Hiko was knocked out into oblivion.
Meanwhile, Aoshi just stared in awe at this little attack Misao was inflicting on their Captain.
"You stupid stupid stupid stupid head!!!!" Misao screamed, now gasping for air from her exhaustion. Well, I'm glad my skills haven't totally gone. With that thought in mind, she dusted off her hands, smirking all the while.
Misao caught Aoshi looking at her. "What?!"
"Ooooh nothing," Aoshi responded, carefully observing how, after all that exertion, her bikini string loosened just enough for him to catch a better glimpse of Misao's youthful form. And although Aoshi was the utmost gentleman, he was still a guy! What?! Even the gentlemen take peeks when their lady-friends aren't looking.
Misao, realizing the now intense look Aoshi was giving her… or rather her perky and nearly naked chest, blushed furiously, trying to cover herself the best she could. However, with all her clothes still deposited in a messy pile on the top of the cliff, she hardly had anything to cover herself with. Aoshi resumed his gentlemanly ways, silently reprimanding himself for being so blatantly obvious. Hehe, but you know you enjoyed it Shinomori. You dog! Aoshi almost laughed.
A small smile escaped Aoshi's lips as he grabbed his shirt, carefully wrapping it around Misao's shoulders. She gave him a nod of thanks.
"Look Aoshi, it's getting late. We better forget about the swim tonight. I'm just too tired." Misao started walking with no particular destination in mind, just someplace where she could sleep. Aoshi was shocked. 'Forget about the swim'?! Is she serious? Now to Misao, the statement meant nothing. To Aoshi's analytic ears, it meant 'forget about this… us'. Is she really giving up on me that easily?! He was being romantic just now, dammit! What happened? Jolting from his stupor, Aoshi quickly caught up to Misao, who was deliberating where she could comfortably, or at least as comfortably as the island was willing to be, spend the night.
Now Misao was willing to admit that had circumstances been a little different, Aoshi's subtle, tender gesture would have been received in quite another way. If she weren't so damn pissed off about the whole Hiko incident, freaked out about how out of character Aoshi's suddenly wandering gaze was, or just how sleepy she felt, she would have devoured him! Hell, his shirt wouldn't have been the only article of clothing missing from his gorgeous bod.
Aoshi stole a few nonchalant glances of Misao. She looked exhausted. With every step, her body slumped over that much more. Aoshi couldn't take it anymore. Utilizing all the strength left in his body, he lifted Misao into a bridal position. Misao mumbled some form of appreciation and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Aoshi spotted a tree not too far in the distance. He sat down gently, never letting Misao leave his arms. She snuggled into his chest and fell asleep to the sound of the crashing waves. If she had really taken the time to listen, she would have realized Aoshi's heart beat just a little bit faster for her.
**
"Ahem"…
…silence…
"A-HEM"…
::cicada chirping::
"KENSHIN!!"
Kenshin jumped, "Hai, Kaoru-dono?"
"Ha! Took you long enough!"
"Gomen-nasai, I'm still in shock."
That was a sight Kenshin hoped he would never have to see again. I do believe that was the ultimate atonement for all the sins I have and will ever commit, that I do.
"Aa." Kaoru couldn't decide whether or not to bring up the subject of their conversation before that naked bastard of a captain decided to interrupt their "moment." I would hardly call that a moment, though. Letting her curiosity get the best of her, Kaoru asked Kenshin, "So… um, Kenshin?"
"Yes, Miss Kaoru?"
"Well, I…" Kaoru cleared her throat. "Well, I was just wondering what it was you were going to say to me before Hiko showed up. It sounded pretty important."
Kaoru tore her eyes from her feet and brought them to meet Kenshin's. She stared at him, eager for what he would say.
It was moments like these when Kenshin really wished he'd carry an Arid stick with him. He felt as nervous as a little schoolboy. Now, don't misunderstand, Kenshin had fantasized about this moment since the first day he'd met Kaoru. He'd play it in his head over and over, trying to make it more perfect than the one before.
Thoughts of a chivalric knight riding on a white horse came to mind, but where the hell am I going to get a white horse? Maybe carrying Kaoru into the sea for a nightly swim… Kenshin pictured it. No, that would never work. Kaoru would probably smack me for pushing her into the water or something like that. Then Kenshin surprised himself. He recalled the picture on the romance novel Kaoru purchased in the airport. There was a big buff blonde, What was his name again? Flavorio? Flagella? Faborici? Fabio! Yes, that Fabio fellow was practically naked and on top of a scantily clad woman. He was muscular and rugged and she was voluptuous and beautiful. Kaoru said something about the woman being a "stupid slut", but she did say Fabio was "damn sexy bishounen". Kenshin knew he was pretty jacked. Women practically threw themselves at him when he was at the beach. He didn't think he was too shabby. Of course, Fabio was like a freaking Arnold Schwarzenegger! Damn the man! Thoughts of Kaoru posing as that woman on the book cover gave Kenshin goose bumps. Woooo… Kenshin fanned himself… did it just get 30 degrees hotter out?
He knew what he had to do… and that made him sweat. However, Kenshin justified that this was best. It was for the sake of mankind!
With that, Kenshin gave Kaoru a heated amber gaze. He ripped his shirt off, damn that was my favorite tee shirt… [oh shut up!], and threw it to the ground never breaking eye contact with Kaoru.
Kaoru was wondering what was taking Kenshin so long. She asked a perfectly reasonable question and he suddenly went all comatose on her. The next thing she knew, he was walking toward her with a look of such seduction in his eyes. She could hardly keep herself from blushing. She'd never seen Kenshin like this ever! It was dangerous, risky! And baby, she loved it!
Meanwhile, Kenshin's haphazardly discarded shirt found its way onto Kenshin's feet. Still trying to keep the lustful aura about him, he struggled with the shirt tangled around his feet.
THUMP.
Kenshin ungracefully fell to the floor, face first into sand.
Kaoru couldn't describe it. It was just too funny for words. Kenshin fell slow mo, and if she hadn't been laughing so hard, she would have run over to help him right away.
Kenshin turned over onto his back, spitting the sand out of his mouth. He stared into the night sky. There really isn't a god.
Kaoru's heart went out to him. He looked so cute when he was embarrassed. She bent over the reclining Kenshin, still utterly hysterical. Wiping the tears from her eyes she asked, "Oh Kenshin, haha, were you trying to seduce me?"
Nope, no god at all. Kenshin was, however, pulled from his conjecturing when he noticed Kaoru was pushing his bangs out of his eyes. She stroked his cheek down to his jaw line. Kenshin remembered the cover of the romance novel again. Ok, so it wasn't exactly the same. Kaoru had assumed the Fabio role and he the shirtless and scantily clad female. What a spaz. Well, you know what they say… when life throws you lemons…
Kenshin sat up wrapped his arm around her waist and brought her to him.
Kenshin and Kaoru kissed that night. They kissed and they kissed and then they kissed some more. There was no white horse, no swimming in the ocean, no words of lust, just two young players in the game of life, very much in love.
To Be Continued…
**
Talk about your OOC! Aoshi and Misao were both totally out of whack this chapter. Haha, it's better this way! =D Ok, I was cracking up during the K/K scene. No fear, I'm not even going to try to attempt a lemon. Anyway, Kenshin trying to be a sexy bishounen, haha. Can't you just imagine the awkwardness of it all?!
Reviewers: Thanks to Johanna Gen (ack! Beheaded?! No no no, that's no fun. Clothes… hmmmm well let's just see where my creativity takes me, ne?), Roku-chan (Aoshi to the rescue! Hehe. K/K & A/M forever!), Eli-chan/THE Sock Princess (hey, glad you liked the idea. It's funny, I asked my friend what he'd do if he were stranded with people on a deserted island and he said he'd streak. Voila! Creative genius or what? ::giggles::), Janee (Thanks. Someone thinks it's good! Yay!), Anti [.] Poptarts (Haha, Hiko is always a bastard, but that's why I love him. He's such a fun character to work with.), Lost Anime Angel (::giggles uncontrollably:: Well, I don't want your co-workers to think you're totally bonkers. I'm glad you think it's funny. =) I do it all for the laughs.), Robyn (Robyn strikes again! Hehe. You know you love the egg-white ass!), Kitten Kisses (Hey, … I'm actually a big fan. Thanks for signing my story. Wow, I wasn't even thinking of Gilligan's island. Haha. Hope this chapter settled well with your A/M love), Silverdragon (no fear, H/M would never ever be a couple. I'm an A/M fan all the way!) for being patient with me. I know I take like 5000 years to actually get new chapters out., Reinaqueen (yes, Hiko, what a guy. He's definitely taking the spotlight in this fic), unique-starfish (thanks for reviewing every chapter! I love you! Haha. No seriously, that was very cool considering I hardly have any readers, let alone ones who review every chapter! Your fics make mine shy in comparison.)