Hi Everybody, and welcome to the longest chapter of Emmilen, written by
RandiWeasley! Everyone give her a round of applause (reviews are nice
too.) Thanks to MoonGem and No Name LOL for reviewing. We all appreciate
reviews so much, so if you read, please, please, please take the time to
review if at all possible. Anyways, here you go. Ashley (Moghedien17!)
Author's Note: Please remember that /.../ means phonetic sounds. Also the song is from one of the Disney Princess movies. I think it's from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." Enjoy. Randi.
"These are our quarters, Miss Terlan." Severus opened the portrait and let the two girls enter his chambers before himself. "Get your book bag, Emmilen, and we will show your cousin to her quarters on the way to my office."
"Can Missy come to school with me, Uncle Sev'rus? Please?"
Severus saw the hope in the child's eyes, but Miss Terlan was still very much an unknown quantity to him. True, the two baby-sitters were good young ladies to have around his niece, but the very fact that they had been hand-picked seemed to show that not all seventeen-years-olds were like them. His niece's education was too important to mess with. Besides, he neither liked nor permitted interruptions or distractions in his classes.
"No, Emmilen. Not tonight. Now go and get your bag immediately."
"Aw, Uncle Sev'rus. Please!"
'And so here it begins,' thought Severus, deciding that here is where it would also end. He certainly had had enough experience at handling disobedient children. Still, these girls were family and therefore required certain courtesies of which the normal student body was undeserving. Most students attempting to backtalk him would have been blasted where they stood, but this was Kolus's child after all. She deserved a bit of privacy. Excusing himself to Missy before grabbing his niece's arm, he dragged the little girl to the first place that suggested itself to him, the potions cupboard. Stepping inside with the child still in tow, he closed and locked the door with his wand before casting a silencing charm on the room. There was always dim illumination when anyone entered, but he raised the level of lighting to near normal. Only then, satisfied that the requirements of family had been met, did he turn his attention to the girl beside him.
"Emmilen, that tone and behavior are not acceptable. When I tell you 'no,' I do it for a reason. I am your guardian, and you must trust that I only want what's best for you. When I say 'no,' you will accept it without complaint or whining. Do you understand that?"
"No, Uncle Sev'rus."
"It means when you ask me something and I say 'no' the conversation is finished. You must never tell me 'Aw, Uncle Sev'rus, please!' again. You ask me something. I say, 'no.' You say, 'Yes, sir.' And that is the end of it. Now do you understand?"
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus."
Good. Now your punishment is to have detention. You will spend your playtime tonight sweeping out this cupboard for me. When you are finished, if there is any time left before bed, you will come and sit quietly in the corner of my office."
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus. I'm sorry."
"Well, see that it doesn't happen again. Next time you will be switched."
Emmilen suddenly seemed near panic. "Switched for what, Uncle Sev'rus? I don't wants to leave you—not even to be switched for a kitty!" Her lower jaw jutted out, trembling.
"For a kitten? How did a kitten enter this conversation?" Snape couldn't decide if he were more annoyed or amused by this seeming change of topic.
"'Cause I think a kitty would like living with you, Uncle Sev'rus. But I know I like living with you more than the kitty would. I won't do that bad thing again. You can keep me, can't you?"
The Potions Master looked truly shocked then. "Keep you? Oh, Merlin, Child, of course I'll keep you! I'm your guardian. That means I get to look after you and teach you." He conjured a long thin branch. "This is a switch. If you refuse to accept my answer again, I shall hit the back of your legs with it. The feeling is—most unpleasant. You would not like it; trust me."
"What does it feel like though, Uncle Sev'rus?" asked Emmilen curiously.
After a moment's thought, Severus turned the girl around and applied the switch to her thighs.
"Ow!" cried Emmilen. "I don't like that, Uncle Sev'rus."
"I know. And, if I were really switching you, it would sting a lot more sharply and I'd do it more than one time. You do not want me to have to switch you, Emmilen. So remember from now on that when I say 'no,' I mean it."
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus."
Banishing the switch, the Potions Master aimed his wand at the door. It opened, and Missy fell into the room, landing on the hard stone floor, hip and elbow first.
"Emmilen," she demanded. "Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"
"I'm fine," giggled the child, thinking her cousin was playing the clown by falling through the door. "That was funny, Missy. Can you do it again? Please?"
"No," replied Snape firmly. "No one eavesdrops on me with impunity. She shall not do that again, ever." Although he spoke to Emmilen, his eyes bored into the teen's.
"Yes, sir," replied Emmilen immediately, albeit a little sadly.
"Good girl," praised her uncle, turning to her, glad of the opportunity to so quickly reinforce the lesson. "Now hurry and get your book bag."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus,"
After the child had gone, Severus turned back to the teen still seated in a rather disheveled manner upon the floor. "Emmilen's bedtime is at 9 PM. I shall expect to see you back here at 9:30. There are some rules you need to learn to obey." His sneer was firmly in place.
"You can't scare me like some little kid. I'm of age now."
Snape responded with his best send-them-running-for-the-hills glare. "We shall see about that at 9:30, shan't we?"
()()()()()()()()()()()()
After dropping an extremely pouty-looking Missy off at her quarters and making sure that the house elves had indeed brought all her baggage, Severus and Emmilen went on to Snape's office. Emmilen set her book bag on the floor while Severus drew the lesson parchment from his desk drawer. Then, looking at the empty space before Emmilen, he explained, "Every night when you come to school, you shall immediately place your completed homework before you. Where is your homework, Emmilen?"
"Right here, Uncle Sev'rus." The child dived for her book bag and came up with the previous night's parchment, which now had a slightly tattered appearance.
"Very good. Place it here before you." The Potions Master reached out to tap the desk in front of the child.
Eyes widening with awe, Emmilen put down the parchment and smoothed it out with her hands.
"Yes," nodded Snape. "Now I put the night's lesson here and then you recite your homework to me." He had decided on this procedure after reading in the lesson book how some small children relish consistency and how knowing what will happen next gives them a feeling of empowerment. He certainly wanted Kolus's child to feel empowered. She was a Snape, after all. It seemed to be working too. Emmilen's wide eyes held that almost reverent look he'd seen in them the night before.
"How do I recite homework, Uncle Sev'rus?"
"Well," responded Snape. "You recite different types of homework in different ways. I shall teach you how to recite each type when you need it. You recite your Reading homework by reading me the parchment. You may begin now."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus," she agreed, excitement sparkling in her eyes. "/t/,/a/,/n/, tan, /a/,/n/,/t/, ant, tan ant." She glanced up proudly.
'The book says to show support and enthusiasm,' Snape reminded himself as he nodded at the child. 'But, Merlin help us, I hope she does more than three sounds tonight!'
"Good," he announced. "Now I'm going to write down two other words that use these sounds and I want to see if you can read them to me as well."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus!"
Snape took a scrap of parchment and wrote 'an at' on it before handing it to the girl. She stood staring at it in silence for several long minutes. Finally, she said, "/a/,/n/. That's like the end of 'tan.'"
"It is," agreed her uncle. "So what word is it then?"
"/a/,/n/," muttered Emmilen to herself. "/a/,/n/. /a/,/n/. /an/." She drew in a sharp breath. "/an/, /an/. An! It says, 'an,' like 'an owl' or 'an apple' or 'an elf.' Am I right, Uncle Sev'rus? Am I? Am I? Am I?" she was jumping up and down in excitement before his desk.
"Yes," agreed Snape, unable to restrain his smile at the sight of her excited face. "you are right, Emmilen."
"Now for the next word," she said, settling down again. "/a/,/t/. /a/,/t/..." she went on like that for some moments. Finally, she got the sounds blended. "at! Like 'I am at school right now.' That says 'at'!"
"Very good!" praised Snape. "You just took the first big step in your education. You read your first words without any help. This is a very important day for you, Emmilen."
"Too bad Missy couldn't be here," murmured the girl. Then a look of horror crossed her face as she realized what she'd just said aloud. "I—I'm sorry, Uncle Sev'rus. I knew you'd said 'no.'"
Snape stared at her in silence, but inside he was cursing loudly. His niece, Kolus's daughter, was looking at him with the same expression as the first-years—the Hufflepuff first-years no less. Meina would be horrified, he knew, to see that expression on her child's face. And he had no idea how to undo it. He'd never tried to change the expression on the Hufflepuff first-years after all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Acting solely on some impulse that he hadn't known he'd possessed, he pushed back his desk chair and motioned to the girl. "Come here, Emmilen," he requested gently.
She came trembling and, before he could move, had bent herself across his legs. Grabbing the hem of his robe in both hands, she said, "I won't put my hands in the way, Uncle Sev'rus. Gwandma didn't like it."
Pulling her up and onto his lap, Snape wrapped his arms around her, memories of his own childhood flashing through his mind. Hands that rained blows all over his body. Fists that punched and socked until they'd broken both skin and bone. Kolus would have had the same memories, though Severus had tried to protect his little brother from the most abusive actions. He knew his niece had not experienced abuse from her grandmother, but his own memories were too painful for him to ever spank the child.
"Emmilen, the only time I will hit you with my hand is if you are doing something dangerous and I need you to stop it immediately." He held the girl until her trembling eased up. Then he turned her on his lap, so that she was facing him. "If you deliberately disobey me, you will be switched. We will go off alone somewhere for that. If you disobey me at a time when we cannot go off alone or if your actions have made me too angry to switch you safely, then I will point my finger at you, thusly, and say, 'Switch.' That means that, while I am not punishing you immediately, I will punish you soon. Understand?"
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus."
"Good. You are allowed to wish things, Emmilen, and I know that you did not mean to disrespect me by saying that. It is okay. I'm not going to punish you. Suppose we were to learn some new sounds and then write a story for you to read to Missy tomorrow?"
OK, Uncle Sev'rus," crowed Emmilen, her face transforming itself by a joyous expression as she graced him with her biggest grin.
So, still holding Emmilen on his lap, Snape taught her three new sounds: /r/,/e/,/m/. 'We're doing an additional activity tonight, so three sounds are sufficient now,' he decided. Then he wrote out a list of words for her to read:
tan at am man mat men met ant an net ran rat ten rent
After she had read from 'tan' through 'ten,' she paused.
"Ah, yes," said Severus. "That is the big question. Are you ready for four-letter words? Just sound it out as you did the others. Go on and try it."
"Yes, sir, Uncle Sev'rus. /r/,/e/,/n/,/tre/,/n/,/tren/,/t/." She repeated the last grouping several times before starting to laugh delightedly. "It says 'rent'. Gwandma had trouble paying the rent, but we always managed."
Severus felt a twinge of guilt at that last statement. If he hadn't made such a mess of his life, his little brother would have trusted him like when they were children. Then he would have been available to help the family through their crisis. Instead, the care of the child had been saddled on the back of an elderly woman, probably with only a small pension to live on. What privations had they known? What was Meina's mother's situation now? He would have to ask Albus how to contact the woman. It would not be right, after all, for Snape Manor to stand empty most of the year while Emmilen's grandmother struggled to pay rent. Besides, the house elves would love to have someone in residence to serve. They always seemed nauseatingly delighted when he returned to the house each August."
"Excellent work, Emmilen. Shall we write the story now?"
"Yes, please, Uncle Sev'rus!" The child bounced delightedly on his knee. "She'll be surprised, won't she?"
"I daresay she will be."
So they wrote the story, then Snape taught Emmilen the two words she had not yet learned. "this letter, when it stands alone, says its name," he paraphrased some script that he had read in the teacher's book. "It is an 'I' and it says /I/. This letter is an 'A,' but when it stands alone, it says /uh/. Now you read these two words for me."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus. I A."
"Good. Now read the story."
Emmilen squirmed deeper into his lap, holding the parchment almost reverently. "I am an ant. I met a man. I met a tan rat. I am an ant."
She and Severus grinned at each other. "That was excellent, Emmilen," he praised her.
"I know, Uncle Sev'rus. Can I do it again?"
"Yes. You can and you may."
They'd read the story three more times when a knock sounded on the door. Figuring it was either Albus or Missy, Snape called, "Come in!" He was rather surprised, therefore, when Harry Potter entered the office and stared at the cuddling duo with wide, disbelieving eyes.
Mentally cursing about how fast this story would get around, Severus leveled his most deadly glare at The-Boy-Who-Lived. "What do you want, Potter?" he snarled.
"Er. The headmaster sent me with this note, sir. I'm sorry to interrupt."
Ignoring the apology, Snape extended his hand. "Let's see it, Potter."
Coming only close enough to pass the envelope into the Potion Master's outstretched hand, Harry tried to look away. However, the child's frank gaze held his eyes.
"Is your name Potter?" asked the girl. "My name is Emmilen Snape. Uncle Sev'rus is teaching me school. I just read my first story. Do you want me to read it to you?"
"Er. OK. Thanks." Harry was fascinated. 'Uncle Sev'rus'? He couldn't begin to imagine what would happen if he'd ever called Uncle Vernon 'Uncle Ve'on'. He couldn't imagine ever sitting in his uncle's lap. And he definitely couldn't imagine Uncle Vernon teaching him to read!
When Emmilen had finished the short tale, Harry smiled at her. "That's really good. I'm glad you read it to me. Thanks again."
"Is this my homework, Uncle Sev'rus?" the girl asked, picking up a parchment off the desk.
"Yes," said Severus. "Put it and your story into your book bag and take it to your room before you sweep out the cupboard. The broom you can use is in the corner of the cupboard."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus." Smiling up at Harry, she announced, "I have detention now."
"Oh," said Harry. His 'I'm sorry' fell a bit flat, however, as he noticed the smile was still on the girl's face.
Emmilen graced him with a puzzled frown then. "Why?'
With an embarrassed smile, Harry shrugged. "I dunno."
After tilting her head in a quizzical manner and studying his face, Emmilen smiled again. "That's OK. Bye, Potter. Bye, Uncle Sev'rus." Picking up her book bag, she struggled toward the door.
"Emmilen," the Potions Master called after her. "His name is Harry."
"Oh, I didn't know, Uncle Sev'rus." Glancing up as Harry passed her to hold open the door, she smiled up at him. "Thank you, Harry. Bye."
"Bye." Harry responded, before most reluctantly turning back and shutting himself in the office with the now-livid-looking professor.
()()()()()()()()()()()()
"ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!" Snape roared into the flames.
The elderly wizard's head appeared in the fire. "You wished to speak with me, Severus?" he asked calmly.
"Why do I have your Golden Boy standing in my office with a note requesting me to resume Remedial Potion lessons with him this year? I told you at the end of last term that Potter was not welcome in my office or in my face. Yet, here he stands with a note, stating that you sent him. WHY?"
"He is a student, Severus, and you are a teacher. He needs the lessons, and you are the only one who can teach them. Therefore, he stands in your office and in your face to request them once again."
"I told you why the lessons were ended, Headmaster. I will not go through that again."
"And I told you, Severus, you could have deducted points and assigned detentions. There were other ways of handling it. Resume the lessons, and, if there should be any more incidents of that nature, you may deduct points, assign detentions and then refer Harry directly to me, and I shall deal with it as well."
'Oh, I know how you'll deal with it, Albus,' Snape thought sarcastically. 'Just like you always deal with the boy. You're not going to give up, though, so I might as well give in while I can still state my own terms.'
"Fine," the Potions Master spat into the flames, making them sizzle. "If he even dares to breathe over my possessions again, Gryffindor House's hourglass will be cleaned out and will remain empty until I have deducted five hundred points, and Potter will serve nightly detentions for two months. The only times I have available to teach him is Sunday, after breakfast and before dinner, for one hour each time. If he does not practice and show progress, Gryffindor House will lose fifty points that week and he will serve detention all day the following Saturday, practicing in my presence. That is my only offer. The two of you may take it or leave it. I give it only because of the unlearning yesterday, so it is no concern of mine if you decide to leave it."
In the same calm voice, Dumbledore replied, "We'll take it." Harry agreed.
()()()()()()()()()()()()
Emmilen found the small broom in the corner as her uncle had said. She hummed to herself as she swept and then began to sing a Muggle song her grandma had taught her.
Just whistle while you work And cheerfully together we can tidy up the day. Just hum a merry tune. It won't take long when there's a song To help you set the pace.
And as you sweep a room, Imagine that the broom Is someone that you love until You find you're dancing too!
After several times through the song, Emmilen tried to whistle, but only managed to produce puffs of air and raspberry sounds. It was quite surprising therefore to hear a clear whistle coming from the doorway.
Turning to look, she saw her uncle leaning against the doorjamb, whistling for her. Grinning at him she continued to sing while he whistled.
Stopping when she did, he commented, "I like that song, Emmilen. Where did you learn it?'
"Gwandma taught it to me. We used to sing it as we swept the flat." She finished and swept the dust into the dustpan. "Where is the bin, please, Uncle Sev'rus?"
Snape banished to dust with his wand.
"Wow! That was cool, Uncle Sev'rus. Gwandma didn't know magic stuff like that. We used the dust bin."
"Ah!" said Snape. "Put the things up now and come along. It's bedtime."
After a quick bath, Severus tucked Emmilen in and read her a bedtime story. Then, going back into the living room, he poured himself a small amount of brandy. He was just about to take a sip when a knock sounded on the door. Checking to be sure that Emmilen's door was indeed closed, he called out, "Enter!" and whispered the password to open the portrait guarding the entrance.
Missy came in with a flounce and a smirk closely followed by none other than Albus Dumbledore.
"Headmaster," Snape acknowledged the older man. "I thought we'd finished our discussion in the Floo. If Potter is indeed to continue his Remedial Potions classes, they will have to take place on Sundays this year. It is the only free time I have.
"Quite, but that's not why I'm here. There's been a serious charge made, Severus, and, while I'm not inclined to believe such normally, I feel this warrants an investigation." There was no twinkle in the blue eyes behind the half-moon spectacles this time.
"What charge?" asked Severus in a silky calm tone.
"Child abuse. You understand, of course, why I must look into the matter immediately. It seems there are no witnesses; however, much abuse can occur in private, as you well know."
"Certainly, Headmaster. Conduct a thorough investigation. I demand it." Turning to the teen, he continued, "Please have a seat, Miss Terlan. It seems our discussion must be postponed for a bit. I hope that is no inconvenience to you. Might I offer pumpkin juice or tea?"
"I'm of age and on staff. I'll have what you're having." The girl looked pointedly at the beverage still in his hand.
Severus acquiesced, albeit with a sneer, and went to prepare her a brandy. "Headmaster, something for you?" he asked while still behind the bar.
"Just my usual cocoa, Severus," smiled Dumbledore. "It's unusual for you to drink spirits. I always thought yours were just for show."
"Most are," Snape shrugged. "I don't like alcohol or its effects. However, I've been known to have a fingerful of brandy after a trying day. This has been, if anything, a most trying day, and it appears it is not over yet." He conjured the cocoa and brought it to the elder wizard. "I insist that you examine the child yourself. Might I suggest doing it now, before she falls more deeply asleep?"
"Gives her a potion for that, no doubt," muttered Missy, just loudly enough to be heard.
Raising a hand, Dumbledore graced her with one of his sternest glances. "There will be none of that, Miss Terlan. You are to remain quiet and keep yourself as much out of my conversation as possible without duly upsetting the child." He turned the expression on Severus. "Both of you."
Snape nodded his head in acquiescence. "Her room." He motioned Albus toward the door.
Emmilen awoke to a feather-light touch. "Mr. Albus. Where's Uncle Sev'rus?" Her chin trembled.
"It's all right, Child. He and Missy are waiting for us in the living room. Let's go and see them now, shall we?"
"OK, Mr. Albus. Is this an emergency? Uncle Sev'rus said that I should always go to him if it were an emergency." They'd reached the living room. "Is this an emergency, Uncle Sev'rus?" the child asked, running to him and snuggling close.
"I guess it is, a bit," replied that individual. "Mr. Albus needs to ask you some questions, and I want you to tell him the truth."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus," agreed Emmilen. Dumbledore and Missy, however, were both staring silently at him, the headmaster rather sadly and the teen most distrustfully. Snape mentally kicked himself. Of course, that would sound like he was coaching the child. It could even be viewed as a veiled threat. He resolved to say nothing more until the matter had been investigated thoroughly.
"Come here and sit with me, Emmi," said Miss Terlan quickly, opening her arms to the child.
Emmilen ran to her and jumped onto the couch. "We made you a surprise in school tonight! I'll give it to you tomorrow, OK?" Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she awaited her cousin's reply.
Missy cast a surprised glance at Snape who sat watching the two. He did not respond in any noticeable manner.
"Missy?" queried Emmilen anxiously. "Don't you want the surprise tomorrow?"
The Potion Master responded to that, his expression hardening into a glare any Hogwarts student knew better than to ignore. His eyes bore into the teen's warningly. He could feel Albus Legiliming him, searching to see if he were using his powers on the girl. 'Slim chance of that, Headmaster,' he thought. 'That would be unethical, I know."
"Why don't you show me the surprise now, Monster?" asked Missy. "Why does it have to wait until tomorrow?"
"Uncle Sev'rus?" asked Emmilen.
"Well," Snape stated. "We were doing it tomorrow because I did not think you would see Missy before your bedtime. I did not know then that we'd need to awaken you. Ask Mr. Albus though. He's the one with questions for you."
"Mr. Albus? I'd like you to see it too!"
"Oh!" twinkled the headmaster with a tender smile for the child. "In that case, we'd love to see it now."
The child glanced at Severus, who nodded, then she ran back to her room. In a moment, she'd returned with parchment in hand. "Uncle Sev'rus said I took my first big step in my edu—ed—school tonight. I read my first words without help. So we wrote a story for me to read to you. This is it. Are you ready?"
Missy nodded with the same surprised glance at Snape.
"Are you ready, Mr. Albus?" asked Emmilen excitedly.
"Whenever you are," responded that individual brightly, so she read them the story.
"Wonderful! Wonderful!" applauded the headmaster when she had finished. "Didn't you think that was a very good reading, Missy?"
"Yes, indeed! You're such a smart girl, Monster. I knew it would be easy for you."
"Emmilen is very attentive and tries her best," said Snape in a conversational tone. "That is how she advances so quickly. She made a promise to always do her best work, and she has kept it admirably for these two days of school."
"Fantastic, Emmilen," praised Dumbledore.
Missy just continued to stare at the Potions Master.
"Why don't you come and sit on my lap, Emmilen, and we'll have a little chat," asked Dumbledore then, opening his arms to the child.
The girl went to him, and he pulled her up. She laid her head back against his shoulder heavily and yawned.
"Yes, you're tired, I know," continued the headmaster. "I'll just be a minute or two with my questions, and then you can go back to bed. Now then, you know there are many people in this castle who love you, right, Emmilen?"
"Oh, yes, Mr. Albus. There's Uncle Sev'rus, and you, and Missy, and 'Fessor Minnie, and Miss Melinda, and Miss Krista, and Harry (His name is Potter sometimes too.), and Janet, and Blaise, and..." She went on for some time naming various Slytherin students. "And, oh! Lots more too, I guess." She finished at last.
"Yes! Yes!" exclaimed Dumbledore, eyes twinkling merrily at her. "I'm sure there are lots more too. Well, they all want what's best for you. Someone was worried that you'd been hurt tonight in a bad way, so they asked me to come and check it out."
"I'll bet Uncle Sev'rus asked you," nodded Emmilen, satisfied. "He told me he's my guard—guard rail and that he gets to take care of me. He said he always wants what's best for me." She nodded sagely.
"Yes, well, Emmilen. Tell me. Do you hurt anywhere right now?"
The girl stared at him in silence for several minutes. Finally, she said, "You're old, Mr. Albus, just like my gwandma."
"Yes, I guess I am," chuckled the headmaster, waving off Snape, who had opened his mouth to speak. "It's quite all right, Severus. You told her to tell the truth."
Emmilen nodded. "Mrs. Masterson tolded me it worried Gwandma because she was old. So I didn't tell no more. Worry can make old people sick, you know."
"Sometimes it can," replied Dumbledore in a careful tone, "but sometimes people who love you worry more when they don't know something. I know I would worry more if you hurt and I didn't know it, Child. Will you tell me, please?"
Emmilen looked thoughtful. "Uncle Sev'rus?" she said at last. "Would it worry you more too, like Mr. Albus?"
"Yes, Emmilen. It would definitely worry me more, just like Mr. Albus. I want you to tell me whenever you're in pain, or anything at all is wrong. Do you hurt anywhere now?"
Emmilen nodded. "It always hurts right here, Uncle Sev'rus." She laid a hand under her right jaw. "Gwandma tooked me to the clinic, but they said it was normal. Gwandma didn't think so though. That's why it worried her, Mrs. Masterson said. That and 'cause she is old, you know."
Snape had come to kneel beside Albus' chair. Gently he reached out and fingered the girl's chin, jaw, and throat. It required only a gentle probe to elicit a grimace, which told him exactly where it hurt.
"When Mr. Albus is finished with his questions, I will get you a potion that will take the pain away. Tomorrow morning after breakfast, we will go and see Madam Pomfrey. She is the nurse here. I want her to look at your throat too."
"OK," agreed Emmilen. "Uncle Sev'rus, what's a poh-sun? Is that magic, like the dust bin?"
"A potion, poh-SHUN, is like medicine to make you feel better. That's my job here. I make potions and teach the students how to make potions. So I usually have potions that can help you if you hurt. But you need to tell me you are hurting, so that I will know to give you a potion to help it get better."
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus. Gwandma wanted to give me good medicine, but the clinic said, 'no.'"
"Grandmother didn't like that clinic much, did she?" asked a voice at Severus' shoulder.
Glancing up, he found Missy standing right behind him, gazing at Emmilen with worried eyes. 'I'm slipping.' He thought. 'How long has it been since anyone has been able to get that close behind me without me knowing it?"
Emmilen frowned. "Gwandma liked it OK, she said. She just wanted to get me some medicine. She said if we were rich, then I'd have the best medicine, and if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. Are we rich now, Uncle Sev'rus?"
"No, we're not exactly rich, but I can make your medicine myself. I went to a special school to learn how to make all kinds of potions."
"Oh, Gwandma couldn't do that."
"Emmilen?" queried the headmaster. "Do you hurt anyplace else?"
"Oh, no, Mr. Albus!"
"Was anyone mean to you today?"
Emmilen thought hard for a moment. "Well, Janet told me that she wanted to steal my book bag and she laughed. Blaise and Miss Krista both said though how she was only kidding. Then Janet told me that she would never really steal my book bag, no matter how much she liked it, so that was OK."
"Yes, I'm sure it was," Dumbledore smiled.
He appeared ready to continue, but Missy cut him off abruptly. "Did Severus say mean things to you tonight when he dragged you into the cupboard? Did he hurt you then?"
Emmilen's eyes flew to her uncle, who forced himself to look away and appear extremely interested in a painting hanging on the wall across the room. A little hand touched his arm and pulled at his sleeve. "Does she mean you, Uncle Sev'rus?"
"Yes, she means me," he informed the painting.
"Why, Uncle Sev'rus?"
Although Snape had a fairly good idea of what the teen was getting at, it would definitely not be in Emmilen's best interest to explain those suspicions. Instead he talked to the motives behind them.
"Because she loves you and wants to make sure that I'm a good guardian for you, Emmilen."
The words seemed to have cost Snape all he had to speak them. Why, oh! Why had he made so many bad decisions as a young adult? No wonder Missy didn't trust him. Merlin alone knew what she'd heard from Kolus—or indirectly by way of rumors, which always made the news appear at least ten times darker than the reality. And the reality of his past was already dark enough for anyone to distrust him with the care of a young child, especially one who came to him from her Muggle grandparent's home! 'Well," he amended to himself, 'anyone but Albus would distrust me anyway.' He found himself grateful that Dumbledore had somehow managed to have a say in placing the child, so that she ended up in his care. He didn't want to examine too closely exactly when he'd felt this change of heart toward the youngster, but he realized that most of the as-yet-unacknowledged fear residing in the pit of his stomach was fear that the girl would be taken from him.
"Of course you're a good guard rail, Uncle Sev'rus!" scoffed Emmilen. "You said you only want to do what is best for me. Doesn't that make you a good one?" For the second time that evening, she looked panicked. "You said you'd keep me. I don't want to go away!" Throwing her arms about his neck, she pulled his head up against Albus' shoulder while she buried her face in his shoulder, crying.
As both wizards tried to unlace the child's fingers from Snape's robes, Missy spoke up. "Grandmother always said that I'd take care of you when I grew up, Monster. Wouldn't you rather live with me than with some mean, nasty old Death Eater?"
Both men stopped their activity and turned dark looks upon the teen then. Emmilen loosened the hold of her own accord and hiccuped, "I—I guess so, but I'd rather live with Uncle Sev'rus mosted of all. What's a mean, nasty, old Death Eater like, Missy?"
"Your Uncle Sev'rus is a mean nasty old Death Eater."
"Miss Terlan!" Dumbledore began, but stopped himself as Emmilen giggled.
"Oh, then I like Death Eaters a lot, Missy. But why do they have such an icky name?"
"Because they do icky things," muttered Severus, more to himself than anyone else. Gazing into the child's eyes, he stated, "Sometimes, Emmilen, people who are very nice to their families can do icky things to other people who are not in their families. Also sometimes people who do icky things to their families can be very nice to people who are not in their families." To himself he added, 'That is the best cover-up I can offer to my role as Order spy, Albus. Unfortunately to tell the truth now would mean forfeiture of my life if the Dark Lord ever learned of my words, and I must stay alive for Emmilen.
He was really very glad that Dumbledore could not read his mind then. That last thought proved that he had truly gone soft on the girl. 'And why not?' he wondered. 'Doesn't Kolus' daughter deserve that—at the least—from me, her last remaining relative on the Snape side of the family?'
The teen was an entirely different matter however. How had he ever let himself believe, only a moment ago, that she had the child's best interests at heart? Saying what she had was nothing but cruelty to the youngster she professed to love. He had already planned to make clear, in his most snarky fashion, that she was not to come between himself and the child. But believing herself to be a better guardian when she was less than a year past her majority only proved what a true dunderhead he was dealing with. Staff member or no, he would never treat her as anything but a child. Why! She could even be said to have a bigger head than Harry Potter does, though Snape wasn't entirely certain such a thing was actually possible.
"Might we finish up this investigation, please, Headmaster?" he asked in his most sarcastic biting tone. "My niece has a potion to take, then she needs to get some more sleep while it is still night."
Dumbledore, however, for the first time in the almost twenty years the Potions Master had known him, actually seemed not to hear what had been said to him. His entire body was radiating severe displeasure, and his eyes bored into the teen's with a look that could rival Snape's best glare. "Miss Terlan, I realize that, as a student teacher, you might not yet possess the experience to realize the harm your words could cause, but you gave me your promise to remain quiet during my questioning. I will not tolerate such willful disobedience from any of my staff. You are hereby placed on probation. Any further disobedience will result in disciplinary action which could ultimately lead to your dismissal."
"Uncle Sev'rus?" Emmilen had slipped off the headmaster's lap and was tugging on his robes for attention. "What's wrong, Uncle Sev'rus?" She looked scared of Dumbledore's anger, which made the very air seem to crackle like breaking ice despite the warm fire in the hearth.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor beside Dumbledore's chair, Snape pulled the child down onto his lap. "Mr. Albus is just giving Missy detention, that's all," he soothed gently.
"And telling her if she does that wrong thing again she'll get switched on her legs?" Emmilen asked. "Just like you told me tonight?"
"Yes," agreed Snape, holding her close.
"Don't worry about it, Missy," Emmilen said, noticing the tears on her cousin's cheeks. "It will sting more than one time, but Mr. Albus will take you someplace alone for it. If you disobey when he can't take you to be alone, or if he is too angry to be safe, he will point his finger at you and say, "Switch." That means that you're not going to be punished then, but you will be later. Do you know what a switch looks like? I didn't, so Uncle Sev'rus made me one in the cupboard. Mr. Albus will prob'ly make you one if you asked him to, wouldn't you, Mr. Albus?"
Everyone turned to find the headmaster beaming at the child, the twinkle in his eyes once again at full force. "So that's what happened in the cupboard tonight, is it, Emmilen? Normally I won't ask, but tonight I really need to know: Did your uncle hurt you a lot or call you really bad names?"
"Oh, no, Mr. Albus. He did hit me once with the switch when I asked him what it felt like, but that's all. And when I did something bad in school, he didn't even spank me like Gwandma. He said he'd only hit me with his hand if I was being danger'us. And he'd only switch me if I meaned to do something bad. I didn't meaned to be bad in school tonight, so he didn't punish me at all. We just made Missy's surprise."
The elder girl's eyes had been widening throughout this speech. As her small cousin fell silent, she turned her gaze full on the Potions Master. "But you—you're a—a—a..."
"Death Eater?" supplied Severus quietly. "So you've already informed us. But, contrary to very popular public opinion, even some Death Eaters are perfectly capable of loving their children. Emmilen has become for me the daughter I never had, and I promise you now that I will always love and protect her life, even above my own."
"But those—those kind of people go to Azkaban Prison. What would happen to Emmilen if you went to jail?"
Albus started to say something then, but Severus cut him off. They were skating on very thin ice with this young woman and Snape had yet to ascertain where her loyalties lay. If she took it into her head to turn him in to the Dark Lord, his life would end very painfully and Emmilen would once again be orphaned. If she decided to turn him in to the Department of Aurors, not even the Order members in that department could save him from Azkaban, nor would it be safe for either himself or them were they to try to do so. With him imprisoned as a Death Eater, Emmilen's life would become most unpleasant, both in Hogwarts and the wizarding world at large, and she would still be in need of another guardian. This teen before him had no idea how her actions could affect his small niece,. Yet she believed herself to be on a crusade for 'The Right,' making her fanatically dangerous to everyone involved with him. He had to at least try to talk some sense at her, and that immediately.
"It is true that I was a Death Eater before the Dark Lord fell to the infant Potter, but I was later cleared of all charges against me, mostly through the testimony of Professor Dumbledore. It is true that I bear the Dark Mark on my arm." He rolled up his sleeve and showed the Mark as he continued, "All who at any time have sworn allegiance to the Dark Lord bear his mark upon their arm for life. For those who have turned to the Light, it is a shameful daily reminder of the sins they once committed. For those who want nothing more to do with the battle, it is something they must always keep hidden, lest their past become known. Even those who still remain loyal to the dark lord cannot depend on the fact that this mark on the arm of another shows they are of the same mind. To believe that you can judge a person on the basis of a single tattoo is a childish ignorance which is unfortunately all too common in the wizarding world these days." He paused, gauging Missy's reactions as these remarks, especially the last one, sunk in.
"But doesn't, uh, You-Know-Who punish bad Death Eaters by killing them or something?"
The teen was viewing him in fascinated horror; Emmilen was nodding off with her head against his shoulder; and Albus, aside from a slight twinkle, appeared detached from the discussion. So the Quaffle was still in his arm.
"Or something," he muttered sarcastically before continuing. "The Dark Lord has many means of punishment, and there are things far worse than death.
"Is Emmilen in danger with me if I am an active Death Eater? Of course. Aside from the fact that I could be imprisoned, I might also teach her the Dark Arts, training her up, if you will, to follow in my footsteps. Knowing that I have professed loyalty to the Dark Lord at least once in my lifetime, it is very wise of you to worry about the advisability of leaving her with me. It speaks highly of your knowledge and training in DADA.
"Is Emmilen any safer if I have turned from the dark towards the side of Light, as Professor Dumbledore believes I have? Obviously, I would be loathe to train her as a Death Eater, but my life would be in grave danger, either through death or some other means of destruction from the Dark Lord. Once again, she would be left homeless. The Dark Lord might even decide to punish me by hurting Emmilen.
"If I now fight for neither side, what does that mean for Emmilen? She will be viewed with suspicion by some people within the wizarding world because she lives with me and I bear the Dark Mark on my arm. She will be viewed the same way by others because they do not see me actively participating in any of the Dark Lord's activities. Either group could decide to act upon their suspicions at any time.
"Why then indeed was Emmilen placed with me and not you? At the time, Professor Dumbledore did not know of your existence. Had he known, the outcome might have been different. Since Emmilen has already been placed in my care, that is a moot point now. There are many spies in the wizarding world: both for the Light and for the Dark. I assure you both sides already knew of Emmilen's existence when you and Professor Dumbledore found each other. If I believed that Emmilen's safety could be better assured by placing her with you, I would do so in a heartbeat, though it would be one of the most painful things I could imagine for myself and would cause more trauma in her life just as she is getting adjusted to me. I do not, however, believe Emmilen would be safer with you now. I do not believe she would be safer with even the most skillfully-trained auror. Therefore, I shall fight you if you try to have the child removed from my custody. And if you ever disrespect your cousin again, through eavesdropping or any other method, you will learn first-hand why the students in this school call me 'the greasy-haired git.'
"That," Albus Dumbledore added with a very decided twinkle, "is an even worse disciplinary action than any I will take. And believe you me, Missy, that is saying something."
Author's Note: Please remember that /.../ means phonetic sounds. Also the song is from one of the Disney Princess movies. I think it's from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." Enjoy. Randi.
"These are our quarters, Miss Terlan." Severus opened the portrait and let the two girls enter his chambers before himself. "Get your book bag, Emmilen, and we will show your cousin to her quarters on the way to my office."
"Can Missy come to school with me, Uncle Sev'rus? Please?"
Severus saw the hope in the child's eyes, but Miss Terlan was still very much an unknown quantity to him. True, the two baby-sitters were good young ladies to have around his niece, but the very fact that they had been hand-picked seemed to show that not all seventeen-years-olds were like them. His niece's education was too important to mess with. Besides, he neither liked nor permitted interruptions or distractions in his classes.
"No, Emmilen. Not tonight. Now go and get your bag immediately."
"Aw, Uncle Sev'rus. Please!"
'And so here it begins,' thought Severus, deciding that here is where it would also end. He certainly had had enough experience at handling disobedient children. Still, these girls were family and therefore required certain courtesies of which the normal student body was undeserving. Most students attempting to backtalk him would have been blasted where they stood, but this was Kolus's child after all. She deserved a bit of privacy. Excusing himself to Missy before grabbing his niece's arm, he dragged the little girl to the first place that suggested itself to him, the potions cupboard. Stepping inside with the child still in tow, he closed and locked the door with his wand before casting a silencing charm on the room. There was always dim illumination when anyone entered, but he raised the level of lighting to near normal. Only then, satisfied that the requirements of family had been met, did he turn his attention to the girl beside him.
"Emmilen, that tone and behavior are not acceptable. When I tell you 'no,' I do it for a reason. I am your guardian, and you must trust that I only want what's best for you. When I say 'no,' you will accept it without complaint or whining. Do you understand that?"
"No, Uncle Sev'rus."
"It means when you ask me something and I say 'no' the conversation is finished. You must never tell me 'Aw, Uncle Sev'rus, please!' again. You ask me something. I say, 'no.' You say, 'Yes, sir.' And that is the end of it. Now do you understand?"
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus."
Good. Now your punishment is to have detention. You will spend your playtime tonight sweeping out this cupboard for me. When you are finished, if there is any time left before bed, you will come and sit quietly in the corner of my office."
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus. I'm sorry."
"Well, see that it doesn't happen again. Next time you will be switched."
Emmilen suddenly seemed near panic. "Switched for what, Uncle Sev'rus? I don't wants to leave you—not even to be switched for a kitty!" Her lower jaw jutted out, trembling.
"For a kitten? How did a kitten enter this conversation?" Snape couldn't decide if he were more annoyed or amused by this seeming change of topic.
"'Cause I think a kitty would like living with you, Uncle Sev'rus. But I know I like living with you more than the kitty would. I won't do that bad thing again. You can keep me, can't you?"
The Potions Master looked truly shocked then. "Keep you? Oh, Merlin, Child, of course I'll keep you! I'm your guardian. That means I get to look after you and teach you." He conjured a long thin branch. "This is a switch. If you refuse to accept my answer again, I shall hit the back of your legs with it. The feeling is—most unpleasant. You would not like it; trust me."
"What does it feel like though, Uncle Sev'rus?" asked Emmilen curiously.
After a moment's thought, Severus turned the girl around and applied the switch to her thighs.
"Ow!" cried Emmilen. "I don't like that, Uncle Sev'rus."
"I know. And, if I were really switching you, it would sting a lot more sharply and I'd do it more than one time. You do not want me to have to switch you, Emmilen. So remember from now on that when I say 'no,' I mean it."
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus."
Banishing the switch, the Potions Master aimed his wand at the door. It opened, and Missy fell into the room, landing on the hard stone floor, hip and elbow first.
"Emmilen," she demanded. "Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"
"I'm fine," giggled the child, thinking her cousin was playing the clown by falling through the door. "That was funny, Missy. Can you do it again? Please?"
"No," replied Snape firmly. "No one eavesdrops on me with impunity. She shall not do that again, ever." Although he spoke to Emmilen, his eyes bored into the teen's.
"Yes, sir," replied Emmilen immediately, albeit a little sadly.
"Good girl," praised her uncle, turning to her, glad of the opportunity to so quickly reinforce the lesson. "Now hurry and get your book bag."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus,"
After the child had gone, Severus turned back to the teen still seated in a rather disheveled manner upon the floor. "Emmilen's bedtime is at 9 PM. I shall expect to see you back here at 9:30. There are some rules you need to learn to obey." His sneer was firmly in place.
"You can't scare me like some little kid. I'm of age now."
Snape responded with his best send-them-running-for-the-hills glare. "We shall see about that at 9:30, shan't we?"
()()()()()()()()()()()()
After dropping an extremely pouty-looking Missy off at her quarters and making sure that the house elves had indeed brought all her baggage, Severus and Emmilen went on to Snape's office. Emmilen set her book bag on the floor while Severus drew the lesson parchment from his desk drawer. Then, looking at the empty space before Emmilen, he explained, "Every night when you come to school, you shall immediately place your completed homework before you. Where is your homework, Emmilen?"
"Right here, Uncle Sev'rus." The child dived for her book bag and came up with the previous night's parchment, which now had a slightly tattered appearance.
"Very good. Place it here before you." The Potions Master reached out to tap the desk in front of the child.
Eyes widening with awe, Emmilen put down the parchment and smoothed it out with her hands.
"Yes," nodded Snape. "Now I put the night's lesson here and then you recite your homework to me." He had decided on this procedure after reading in the lesson book how some small children relish consistency and how knowing what will happen next gives them a feeling of empowerment. He certainly wanted Kolus's child to feel empowered. She was a Snape, after all. It seemed to be working too. Emmilen's wide eyes held that almost reverent look he'd seen in them the night before.
"How do I recite homework, Uncle Sev'rus?"
"Well," responded Snape. "You recite different types of homework in different ways. I shall teach you how to recite each type when you need it. You recite your Reading homework by reading me the parchment. You may begin now."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus," she agreed, excitement sparkling in her eyes. "/t/,/a/,/n/, tan, /a/,/n/,/t/, ant, tan ant." She glanced up proudly.
'The book says to show support and enthusiasm,' Snape reminded himself as he nodded at the child. 'But, Merlin help us, I hope she does more than three sounds tonight!'
"Good," he announced. "Now I'm going to write down two other words that use these sounds and I want to see if you can read them to me as well."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus!"
Snape took a scrap of parchment and wrote 'an at' on it before handing it to the girl. She stood staring at it in silence for several long minutes. Finally, she said, "/a/,/n/. That's like the end of 'tan.'"
"It is," agreed her uncle. "So what word is it then?"
"/a/,/n/," muttered Emmilen to herself. "/a/,/n/. /a/,/n/. /an/." She drew in a sharp breath. "/an/, /an/. An! It says, 'an,' like 'an owl' or 'an apple' or 'an elf.' Am I right, Uncle Sev'rus? Am I? Am I? Am I?" she was jumping up and down in excitement before his desk.
"Yes," agreed Snape, unable to restrain his smile at the sight of her excited face. "you are right, Emmilen."
"Now for the next word," she said, settling down again. "/a/,/t/. /a/,/t/..." she went on like that for some moments. Finally, she got the sounds blended. "at! Like 'I am at school right now.' That says 'at'!"
"Very good!" praised Snape. "You just took the first big step in your education. You read your first words without any help. This is a very important day for you, Emmilen."
"Too bad Missy couldn't be here," murmured the girl. Then a look of horror crossed her face as she realized what she'd just said aloud. "I—I'm sorry, Uncle Sev'rus. I knew you'd said 'no.'"
Snape stared at her in silence, but inside he was cursing loudly. His niece, Kolus's daughter, was looking at him with the same expression as the first-years—the Hufflepuff first-years no less. Meina would be horrified, he knew, to see that expression on her child's face. And he had no idea how to undo it. He'd never tried to change the expression on the Hufflepuff first-years after all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Acting solely on some impulse that he hadn't known he'd possessed, he pushed back his desk chair and motioned to the girl. "Come here, Emmilen," he requested gently.
She came trembling and, before he could move, had bent herself across his legs. Grabbing the hem of his robe in both hands, she said, "I won't put my hands in the way, Uncle Sev'rus. Gwandma didn't like it."
Pulling her up and onto his lap, Snape wrapped his arms around her, memories of his own childhood flashing through his mind. Hands that rained blows all over his body. Fists that punched and socked until they'd broken both skin and bone. Kolus would have had the same memories, though Severus had tried to protect his little brother from the most abusive actions. He knew his niece had not experienced abuse from her grandmother, but his own memories were too painful for him to ever spank the child.
"Emmilen, the only time I will hit you with my hand is if you are doing something dangerous and I need you to stop it immediately." He held the girl until her trembling eased up. Then he turned her on his lap, so that she was facing him. "If you deliberately disobey me, you will be switched. We will go off alone somewhere for that. If you disobey me at a time when we cannot go off alone or if your actions have made me too angry to switch you safely, then I will point my finger at you, thusly, and say, 'Switch.' That means that, while I am not punishing you immediately, I will punish you soon. Understand?"
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus."
"Good. You are allowed to wish things, Emmilen, and I know that you did not mean to disrespect me by saying that. It is okay. I'm not going to punish you. Suppose we were to learn some new sounds and then write a story for you to read to Missy tomorrow?"
OK, Uncle Sev'rus," crowed Emmilen, her face transforming itself by a joyous expression as she graced him with her biggest grin.
So, still holding Emmilen on his lap, Snape taught her three new sounds: /r/,/e/,/m/. 'We're doing an additional activity tonight, so three sounds are sufficient now,' he decided. Then he wrote out a list of words for her to read:
tan at am man mat men met ant an net ran rat ten rent
After she had read from 'tan' through 'ten,' she paused.
"Ah, yes," said Severus. "That is the big question. Are you ready for four-letter words? Just sound it out as you did the others. Go on and try it."
"Yes, sir, Uncle Sev'rus. /r/,/e/,/n/,/tre/,/n/,/tren/,/t/." She repeated the last grouping several times before starting to laugh delightedly. "It says 'rent'. Gwandma had trouble paying the rent, but we always managed."
Severus felt a twinge of guilt at that last statement. If he hadn't made such a mess of his life, his little brother would have trusted him like when they were children. Then he would have been available to help the family through their crisis. Instead, the care of the child had been saddled on the back of an elderly woman, probably with only a small pension to live on. What privations had they known? What was Meina's mother's situation now? He would have to ask Albus how to contact the woman. It would not be right, after all, for Snape Manor to stand empty most of the year while Emmilen's grandmother struggled to pay rent. Besides, the house elves would love to have someone in residence to serve. They always seemed nauseatingly delighted when he returned to the house each August."
"Excellent work, Emmilen. Shall we write the story now?"
"Yes, please, Uncle Sev'rus!" The child bounced delightedly on his knee. "She'll be surprised, won't she?"
"I daresay she will be."
So they wrote the story, then Snape taught Emmilen the two words she had not yet learned. "this letter, when it stands alone, says its name," he paraphrased some script that he had read in the teacher's book. "It is an 'I' and it says /I/. This letter is an 'A,' but when it stands alone, it says /uh/. Now you read these two words for me."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus. I A."
"Good. Now read the story."
Emmilen squirmed deeper into his lap, holding the parchment almost reverently. "I am an ant. I met a man. I met a tan rat. I am an ant."
She and Severus grinned at each other. "That was excellent, Emmilen," he praised her.
"I know, Uncle Sev'rus. Can I do it again?"
"Yes. You can and you may."
They'd read the story three more times when a knock sounded on the door. Figuring it was either Albus or Missy, Snape called, "Come in!" He was rather surprised, therefore, when Harry Potter entered the office and stared at the cuddling duo with wide, disbelieving eyes.
Mentally cursing about how fast this story would get around, Severus leveled his most deadly glare at The-Boy-Who-Lived. "What do you want, Potter?" he snarled.
"Er. The headmaster sent me with this note, sir. I'm sorry to interrupt."
Ignoring the apology, Snape extended his hand. "Let's see it, Potter."
Coming only close enough to pass the envelope into the Potion Master's outstretched hand, Harry tried to look away. However, the child's frank gaze held his eyes.
"Is your name Potter?" asked the girl. "My name is Emmilen Snape. Uncle Sev'rus is teaching me school. I just read my first story. Do you want me to read it to you?"
"Er. OK. Thanks." Harry was fascinated. 'Uncle Sev'rus'? He couldn't begin to imagine what would happen if he'd ever called Uncle Vernon 'Uncle Ve'on'. He couldn't imagine ever sitting in his uncle's lap. And he definitely couldn't imagine Uncle Vernon teaching him to read!
When Emmilen had finished the short tale, Harry smiled at her. "That's really good. I'm glad you read it to me. Thanks again."
"Is this my homework, Uncle Sev'rus?" the girl asked, picking up a parchment off the desk.
"Yes," said Severus. "Put it and your story into your book bag and take it to your room before you sweep out the cupboard. The broom you can use is in the corner of the cupboard."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus." Smiling up at Harry, she announced, "I have detention now."
"Oh," said Harry. His 'I'm sorry' fell a bit flat, however, as he noticed the smile was still on the girl's face.
Emmilen graced him with a puzzled frown then. "Why?'
With an embarrassed smile, Harry shrugged. "I dunno."
After tilting her head in a quizzical manner and studying his face, Emmilen smiled again. "That's OK. Bye, Potter. Bye, Uncle Sev'rus." Picking up her book bag, she struggled toward the door.
"Emmilen," the Potions Master called after her. "His name is Harry."
"Oh, I didn't know, Uncle Sev'rus." Glancing up as Harry passed her to hold open the door, she smiled up at him. "Thank you, Harry. Bye."
"Bye." Harry responded, before most reluctantly turning back and shutting himself in the office with the now-livid-looking professor.
()()()()()()()()()()()()
"ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!" Snape roared into the flames.
The elderly wizard's head appeared in the fire. "You wished to speak with me, Severus?" he asked calmly.
"Why do I have your Golden Boy standing in my office with a note requesting me to resume Remedial Potion lessons with him this year? I told you at the end of last term that Potter was not welcome in my office or in my face. Yet, here he stands with a note, stating that you sent him. WHY?"
"He is a student, Severus, and you are a teacher. He needs the lessons, and you are the only one who can teach them. Therefore, he stands in your office and in your face to request them once again."
"I told you why the lessons were ended, Headmaster. I will not go through that again."
"And I told you, Severus, you could have deducted points and assigned detentions. There were other ways of handling it. Resume the lessons, and, if there should be any more incidents of that nature, you may deduct points, assign detentions and then refer Harry directly to me, and I shall deal with it as well."
'Oh, I know how you'll deal with it, Albus,' Snape thought sarcastically. 'Just like you always deal with the boy. You're not going to give up, though, so I might as well give in while I can still state my own terms.'
"Fine," the Potions Master spat into the flames, making them sizzle. "If he even dares to breathe over my possessions again, Gryffindor House's hourglass will be cleaned out and will remain empty until I have deducted five hundred points, and Potter will serve nightly detentions for two months. The only times I have available to teach him is Sunday, after breakfast and before dinner, for one hour each time. If he does not practice and show progress, Gryffindor House will lose fifty points that week and he will serve detention all day the following Saturday, practicing in my presence. That is my only offer. The two of you may take it or leave it. I give it only because of the unlearning yesterday, so it is no concern of mine if you decide to leave it."
In the same calm voice, Dumbledore replied, "We'll take it." Harry agreed.
()()()()()()()()()()()()
Emmilen found the small broom in the corner as her uncle had said. She hummed to herself as she swept and then began to sing a Muggle song her grandma had taught her.
Just whistle while you work And cheerfully together we can tidy up the day. Just hum a merry tune. It won't take long when there's a song To help you set the pace.
And as you sweep a room, Imagine that the broom Is someone that you love until You find you're dancing too!
After several times through the song, Emmilen tried to whistle, but only managed to produce puffs of air and raspberry sounds. It was quite surprising therefore to hear a clear whistle coming from the doorway.
Turning to look, she saw her uncle leaning against the doorjamb, whistling for her. Grinning at him she continued to sing while he whistled.
Stopping when she did, he commented, "I like that song, Emmilen. Where did you learn it?'
"Gwandma taught it to me. We used to sing it as we swept the flat." She finished and swept the dust into the dustpan. "Where is the bin, please, Uncle Sev'rus?"
Snape banished to dust with his wand.
"Wow! That was cool, Uncle Sev'rus. Gwandma didn't know magic stuff like that. We used the dust bin."
"Ah!" said Snape. "Put the things up now and come along. It's bedtime."
After a quick bath, Severus tucked Emmilen in and read her a bedtime story. Then, going back into the living room, he poured himself a small amount of brandy. He was just about to take a sip when a knock sounded on the door. Checking to be sure that Emmilen's door was indeed closed, he called out, "Enter!" and whispered the password to open the portrait guarding the entrance.
Missy came in with a flounce and a smirk closely followed by none other than Albus Dumbledore.
"Headmaster," Snape acknowledged the older man. "I thought we'd finished our discussion in the Floo. If Potter is indeed to continue his Remedial Potions classes, they will have to take place on Sundays this year. It is the only free time I have.
"Quite, but that's not why I'm here. There's been a serious charge made, Severus, and, while I'm not inclined to believe such normally, I feel this warrants an investigation." There was no twinkle in the blue eyes behind the half-moon spectacles this time.
"What charge?" asked Severus in a silky calm tone.
"Child abuse. You understand, of course, why I must look into the matter immediately. It seems there are no witnesses; however, much abuse can occur in private, as you well know."
"Certainly, Headmaster. Conduct a thorough investigation. I demand it." Turning to the teen, he continued, "Please have a seat, Miss Terlan. It seems our discussion must be postponed for a bit. I hope that is no inconvenience to you. Might I offer pumpkin juice or tea?"
"I'm of age and on staff. I'll have what you're having." The girl looked pointedly at the beverage still in his hand.
Severus acquiesced, albeit with a sneer, and went to prepare her a brandy. "Headmaster, something for you?" he asked while still behind the bar.
"Just my usual cocoa, Severus," smiled Dumbledore. "It's unusual for you to drink spirits. I always thought yours were just for show."
"Most are," Snape shrugged. "I don't like alcohol or its effects. However, I've been known to have a fingerful of brandy after a trying day. This has been, if anything, a most trying day, and it appears it is not over yet." He conjured the cocoa and brought it to the elder wizard. "I insist that you examine the child yourself. Might I suggest doing it now, before she falls more deeply asleep?"
"Gives her a potion for that, no doubt," muttered Missy, just loudly enough to be heard.
Raising a hand, Dumbledore graced her with one of his sternest glances. "There will be none of that, Miss Terlan. You are to remain quiet and keep yourself as much out of my conversation as possible without duly upsetting the child." He turned the expression on Severus. "Both of you."
Snape nodded his head in acquiescence. "Her room." He motioned Albus toward the door.
Emmilen awoke to a feather-light touch. "Mr. Albus. Where's Uncle Sev'rus?" Her chin trembled.
"It's all right, Child. He and Missy are waiting for us in the living room. Let's go and see them now, shall we?"
"OK, Mr. Albus. Is this an emergency? Uncle Sev'rus said that I should always go to him if it were an emergency." They'd reached the living room. "Is this an emergency, Uncle Sev'rus?" the child asked, running to him and snuggling close.
"I guess it is, a bit," replied that individual. "Mr. Albus needs to ask you some questions, and I want you to tell him the truth."
"OK, Uncle Sev'rus," agreed Emmilen. Dumbledore and Missy, however, were both staring silently at him, the headmaster rather sadly and the teen most distrustfully. Snape mentally kicked himself. Of course, that would sound like he was coaching the child. It could even be viewed as a veiled threat. He resolved to say nothing more until the matter had been investigated thoroughly.
"Come here and sit with me, Emmi," said Miss Terlan quickly, opening her arms to the child.
Emmilen ran to her and jumped onto the couch. "We made you a surprise in school tonight! I'll give it to you tomorrow, OK?" Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she awaited her cousin's reply.
Missy cast a surprised glance at Snape who sat watching the two. He did not respond in any noticeable manner.
"Missy?" queried Emmilen anxiously. "Don't you want the surprise tomorrow?"
The Potion Master responded to that, his expression hardening into a glare any Hogwarts student knew better than to ignore. His eyes bore into the teen's warningly. He could feel Albus Legiliming him, searching to see if he were using his powers on the girl. 'Slim chance of that, Headmaster,' he thought. 'That would be unethical, I know."
"Why don't you show me the surprise now, Monster?" asked Missy. "Why does it have to wait until tomorrow?"
"Uncle Sev'rus?" asked Emmilen.
"Well," Snape stated. "We were doing it tomorrow because I did not think you would see Missy before your bedtime. I did not know then that we'd need to awaken you. Ask Mr. Albus though. He's the one with questions for you."
"Mr. Albus? I'd like you to see it too!"
"Oh!" twinkled the headmaster with a tender smile for the child. "In that case, we'd love to see it now."
The child glanced at Severus, who nodded, then she ran back to her room. In a moment, she'd returned with parchment in hand. "Uncle Sev'rus said I took my first big step in my edu—ed—school tonight. I read my first words without help. So we wrote a story for me to read to you. This is it. Are you ready?"
Missy nodded with the same surprised glance at Snape.
"Are you ready, Mr. Albus?" asked Emmilen excitedly.
"Whenever you are," responded that individual brightly, so she read them the story.
"Wonderful! Wonderful!" applauded the headmaster when she had finished. "Didn't you think that was a very good reading, Missy?"
"Yes, indeed! You're such a smart girl, Monster. I knew it would be easy for you."
"Emmilen is very attentive and tries her best," said Snape in a conversational tone. "That is how she advances so quickly. She made a promise to always do her best work, and she has kept it admirably for these two days of school."
"Fantastic, Emmilen," praised Dumbledore.
Missy just continued to stare at the Potions Master.
"Why don't you come and sit on my lap, Emmilen, and we'll have a little chat," asked Dumbledore then, opening his arms to the child.
The girl went to him, and he pulled her up. She laid her head back against his shoulder heavily and yawned.
"Yes, you're tired, I know," continued the headmaster. "I'll just be a minute or two with my questions, and then you can go back to bed. Now then, you know there are many people in this castle who love you, right, Emmilen?"
"Oh, yes, Mr. Albus. There's Uncle Sev'rus, and you, and Missy, and 'Fessor Minnie, and Miss Melinda, and Miss Krista, and Harry (His name is Potter sometimes too.), and Janet, and Blaise, and..." She went on for some time naming various Slytherin students. "And, oh! Lots more too, I guess." She finished at last.
"Yes! Yes!" exclaimed Dumbledore, eyes twinkling merrily at her. "I'm sure there are lots more too. Well, they all want what's best for you. Someone was worried that you'd been hurt tonight in a bad way, so they asked me to come and check it out."
"I'll bet Uncle Sev'rus asked you," nodded Emmilen, satisfied. "He told me he's my guard—guard rail and that he gets to take care of me. He said he always wants what's best for me." She nodded sagely.
"Yes, well, Emmilen. Tell me. Do you hurt anywhere right now?"
The girl stared at him in silence for several minutes. Finally, she said, "You're old, Mr. Albus, just like my gwandma."
"Yes, I guess I am," chuckled the headmaster, waving off Snape, who had opened his mouth to speak. "It's quite all right, Severus. You told her to tell the truth."
Emmilen nodded. "Mrs. Masterson tolded me it worried Gwandma because she was old. So I didn't tell no more. Worry can make old people sick, you know."
"Sometimes it can," replied Dumbledore in a careful tone, "but sometimes people who love you worry more when they don't know something. I know I would worry more if you hurt and I didn't know it, Child. Will you tell me, please?"
Emmilen looked thoughtful. "Uncle Sev'rus?" she said at last. "Would it worry you more too, like Mr. Albus?"
"Yes, Emmilen. It would definitely worry me more, just like Mr. Albus. I want you to tell me whenever you're in pain, or anything at all is wrong. Do you hurt anywhere now?"
Emmilen nodded. "It always hurts right here, Uncle Sev'rus." She laid a hand under her right jaw. "Gwandma tooked me to the clinic, but they said it was normal. Gwandma didn't think so though. That's why it worried her, Mrs. Masterson said. That and 'cause she is old, you know."
Snape had come to kneel beside Albus' chair. Gently he reached out and fingered the girl's chin, jaw, and throat. It required only a gentle probe to elicit a grimace, which told him exactly where it hurt.
"When Mr. Albus is finished with his questions, I will get you a potion that will take the pain away. Tomorrow morning after breakfast, we will go and see Madam Pomfrey. She is the nurse here. I want her to look at your throat too."
"OK," agreed Emmilen. "Uncle Sev'rus, what's a poh-sun? Is that magic, like the dust bin?"
"A potion, poh-SHUN, is like medicine to make you feel better. That's my job here. I make potions and teach the students how to make potions. So I usually have potions that can help you if you hurt. But you need to tell me you are hurting, so that I will know to give you a potion to help it get better."
"Yes, Uncle Sev'rus. Gwandma wanted to give me good medicine, but the clinic said, 'no.'"
"Grandmother didn't like that clinic much, did she?" asked a voice at Severus' shoulder.
Glancing up, he found Missy standing right behind him, gazing at Emmilen with worried eyes. 'I'm slipping.' He thought. 'How long has it been since anyone has been able to get that close behind me without me knowing it?"
Emmilen frowned. "Gwandma liked it OK, she said. She just wanted to get me some medicine. She said if we were rich, then I'd have the best medicine, and if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. Are we rich now, Uncle Sev'rus?"
"No, we're not exactly rich, but I can make your medicine myself. I went to a special school to learn how to make all kinds of potions."
"Oh, Gwandma couldn't do that."
"Emmilen?" queried the headmaster. "Do you hurt anyplace else?"
"Oh, no, Mr. Albus!"
"Was anyone mean to you today?"
Emmilen thought hard for a moment. "Well, Janet told me that she wanted to steal my book bag and she laughed. Blaise and Miss Krista both said though how she was only kidding. Then Janet told me that she would never really steal my book bag, no matter how much she liked it, so that was OK."
"Yes, I'm sure it was," Dumbledore smiled.
He appeared ready to continue, but Missy cut him off abruptly. "Did Severus say mean things to you tonight when he dragged you into the cupboard? Did he hurt you then?"
Emmilen's eyes flew to her uncle, who forced himself to look away and appear extremely interested in a painting hanging on the wall across the room. A little hand touched his arm and pulled at his sleeve. "Does she mean you, Uncle Sev'rus?"
"Yes, she means me," he informed the painting.
"Why, Uncle Sev'rus?"
Although Snape had a fairly good idea of what the teen was getting at, it would definitely not be in Emmilen's best interest to explain those suspicions. Instead he talked to the motives behind them.
"Because she loves you and wants to make sure that I'm a good guardian for you, Emmilen."
The words seemed to have cost Snape all he had to speak them. Why, oh! Why had he made so many bad decisions as a young adult? No wonder Missy didn't trust him. Merlin alone knew what she'd heard from Kolus—or indirectly by way of rumors, which always made the news appear at least ten times darker than the reality. And the reality of his past was already dark enough for anyone to distrust him with the care of a young child, especially one who came to him from her Muggle grandparent's home! 'Well," he amended to himself, 'anyone but Albus would distrust me anyway.' He found himself grateful that Dumbledore had somehow managed to have a say in placing the child, so that she ended up in his care. He didn't want to examine too closely exactly when he'd felt this change of heart toward the youngster, but he realized that most of the as-yet-unacknowledged fear residing in the pit of his stomach was fear that the girl would be taken from him.
"Of course you're a good guard rail, Uncle Sev'rus!" scoffed Emmilen. "You said you only want to do what is best for me. Doesn't that make you a good one?" For the second time that evening, she looked panicked. "You said you'd keep me. I don't want to go away!" Throwing her arms about his neck, she pulled his head up against Albus' shoulder while she buried her face in his shoulder, crying.
As both wizards tried to unlace the child's fingers from Snape's robes, Missy spoke up. "Grandmother always said that I'd take care of you when I grew up, Monster. Wouldn't you rather live with me than with some mean, nasty old Death Eater?"
Both men stopped their activity and turned dark looks upon the teen then. Emmilen loosened the hold of her own accord and hiccuped, "I—I guess so, but I'd rather live with Uncle Sev'rus mosted of all. What's a mean, nasty, old Death Eater like, Missy?"
"Your Uncle Sev'rus is a mean nasty old Death Eater."
"Miss Terlan!" Dumbledore began, but stopped himself as Emmilen giggled.
"Oh, then I like Death Eaters a lot, Missy. But why do they have such an icky name?"
"Because they do icky things," muttered Severus, more to himself than anyone else. Gazing into the child's eyes, he stated, "Sometimes, Emmilen, people who are very nice to their families can do icky things to other people who are not in their families. Also sometimes people who do icky things to their families can be very nice to people who are not in their families." To himself he added, 'That is the best cover-up I can offer to my role as Order spy, Albus. Unfortunately to tell the truth now would mean forfeiture of my life if the Dark Lord ever learned of my words, and I must stay alive for Emmilen.
He was really very glad that Dumbledore could not read his mind then. That last thought proved that he had truly gone soft on the girl. 'And why not?' he wondered. 'Doesn't Kolus' daughter deserve that—at the least—from me, her last remaining relative on the Snape side of the family?'
The teen was an entirely different matter however. How had he ever let himself believe, only a moment ago, that she had the child's best interests at heart? Saying what she had was nothing but cruelty to the youngster she professed to love. He had already planned to make clear, in his most snarky fashion, that she was not to come between himself and the child. But believing herself to be a better guardian when she was less than a year past her majority only proved what a true dunderhead he was dealing with. Staff member or no, he would never treat her as anything but a child. Why! She could even be said to have a bigger head than Harry Potter does, though Snape wasn't entirely certain such a thing was actually possible.
"Might we finish up this investigation, please, Headmaster?" he asked in his most sarcastic biting tone. "My niece has a potion to take, then she needs to get some more sleep while it is still night."
Dumbledore, however, for the first time in the almost twenty years the Potions Master had known him, actually seemed not to hear what had been said to him. His entire body was radiating severe displeasure, and his eyes bored into the teen's with a look that could rival Snape's best glare. "Miss Terlan, I realize that, as a student teacher, you might not yet possess the experience to realize the harm your words could cause, but you gave me your promise to remain quiet during my questioning. I will not tolerate such willful disobedience from any of my staff. You are hereby placed on probation. Any further disobedience will result in disciplinary action which could ultimately lead to your dismissal."
"Uncle Sev'rus?" Emmilen had slipped off the headmaster's lap and was tugging on his robes for attention. "What's wrong, Uncle Sev'rus?" She looked scared of Dumbledore's anger, which made the very air seem to crackle like breaking ice despite the warm fire in the hearth.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor beside Dumbledore's chair, Snape pulled the child down onto his lap. "Mr. Albus is just giving Missy detention, that's all," he soothed gently.
"And telling her if she does that wrong thing again she'll get switched on her legs?" Emmilen asked. "Just like you told me tonight?"
"Yes," agreed Snape, holding her close.
"Don't worry about it, Missy," Emmilen said, noticing the tears on her cousin's cheeks. "It will sting more than one time, but Mr. Albus will take you someplace alone for it. If you disobey when he can't take you to be alone, or if he is too angry to be safe, he will point his finger at you and say, "Switch." That means that you're not going to be punished then, but you will be later. Do you know what a switch looks like? I didn't, so Uncle Sev'rus made me one in the cupboard. Mr. Albus will prob'ly make you one if you asked him to, wouldn't you, Mr. Albus?"
Everyone turned to find the headmaster beaming at the child, the twinkle in his eyes once again at full force. "So that's what happened in the cupboard tonight, is it, Emmilen? Normally I won't ask, but tonight I really need to know: Did your uncle hurt you a lot or call you really bad names?"
"Oh, no, Mr. Albus. He did hit me once with the switch when I asked him what it felt like, but that's all. And when I did something bad in school, he didn't even spank me like Gwandma. He said he'd only hit me with his hand if I was being danger'us. And he'd only switch me if I meaned to do something bad. I didn't meaned to be bad in school tonight, so he didn't punish me at all. We just made Missy's surprise."
The elder girl's eyes had been widening throughout this speech. As her small cousin fell silent, she turned her gaze full on the Potions Master. "But you—you're a—a—a..."
"Death Eater?" supplied Severus quietly. "So you've already informed us. But, contrary to very popular public opinion, even some Death Eaters are perfectly capable of loving their children. Emmilen has become for me the daughter I never had, and I promise you now that I will always love and protect her life, even above my own."
"But those—those kind of people go to Azkaban Prison. What would happen to Emmilen if you went to jail?"
Albus started to say something then, but Severus cut him off. They were skating on very thin ice with this young woman and Snape had yet to ascertain where her loyalties lay. If she took it into her head to turn him in to the Dark Lord, his life would end very painfully and Emmilen would once again be orphaned. If she decided to turn him in to the Department of Aurors, not even the Order members in that department could save him from Azkaban, nor would it be safe for either himself or them were they to try to do so. With him imprisoned as a Death Eater, Emmilen's life would become most unpleasant, both in Hogwarts and the wizarding world at large, and she would still be in need of another guardian. This teen before him had no idea how her actions could affect his small niece,. Yet she believed herself to be on a crusade for 'The Right,' making her fanatically dangerous to everyone involved with him. He had to at least try to talk some sense at her, and that immediately.
"It is true that I was a Death Eater before the Dark Lord fell to the infant Potter, but I was later cleared of all charges against me, mostly through the testimony of Professor Dumbledore. It is true that I bear the Dark Mark on my arm." He rolled up his sleeve and showed the Mark as he continued, "All who at any time have sworn allegiance to the Dark Lord bear his mark upon their arm for life. For those who have turned to the Light, it is a shameful daily reminder of the sins they once committed. For those who want nothing more to do with the battle, it is something they must always keep hidden, lest their past become known. Even those who still remain loyal to the dark lord cannot depend on the fact that this mark on the arm of another shows they are of the same mind. To believe that you can judge a person on the basis of a single tattoo is a childish ignorance which is unfortunately all too common in the wizarding world these days." He paused, gauging Missy's reactions as these remarks, especially the last one, sunk in.
"But doesn't, uh, You-Know-Who punish bad Death Eaters by killing them or something?"
The teen was viewing him in fascinated horror; Emmilen was nodding off with her head against his shoulder; and Albus, aside from a slight twinkle, appeared detached from the discussion. So the Quaffle was still in his arm.
"Or something," he muttered sarcastically before continuing. "The Dark Lord has many means of punishment, and there are things far worse than death.
"Is Emmilen in danger with me if I am an active Death Eater? Of course. Aside from the fact that I could be imprisoned, I might also teach her the Dark Arts, training her up, if you will, to follow in my footsteps. Knowing that I have professed loyalty to the Dark Lord at least once in my lifetime, it is very wise of you to worry about the advisability of leaving her with me. It speaks highly of your knowledge and training in DADA.
"Is Emmilen any safer if I have turned from the dark towards the side of Light, as Professor Dumbledore believes I have? Obviously, I would be loathe to train her as a Death Eater, but my life would be in grave danger, either through death or some other means of destruction from the Dark Lord. Once again, she would be left homeless. The Dark Lord might even decide to punish me by hurting Emmilen.
"If I now fight for neither side, what does that mean for Emmilen? She will be viewed with suspicion by some people within the wizarding world because she lives with me and I bear the Dark Mark on my arm. She will be viewed the same way by others because they do not see me actively participating in any of the Dark Lord's activities. Either group could decide to act upon their suspicions at any time.
"Why then indeed was Emmilen placed with me and not you? At the time, Professor Dumbledore did not know of your existence. Had he known, the outcome might have been different. Since Emmilen has already been placed in my care, that is a moot point now. There are many spies in the wizarding world: both for the Light and for the Dark. I assure you both sides already knew of Emmilen's existence when you and Professor Dumbledore found each other. If I believed that Emmilen's safety could be better assured by placing her with you, I would do so in a heartbeat, though it would be one of the most painful things I could imagine for myself and would cause more trauma in her life just as she is getting adjusted to me. I do not, however, believe Emmilen would be safer with you now. I do not believe she would be safer with even the most skillfully-trained auror. Therefore, I shall fight you if you try to have the child removed from my custody. And if you ever disrespect your cousin again, through eavesdropping or any other method, you will learn first-hand why the students in this school call me 'the greasy-haired git.'
"That," Albus Dumbledore added with a very decided twinkle, "is an even worse disciplinary action than any I will take. And believe you me, Missy, that is saying something."