Chapter 7 – Little Boy Lost


It had been two and a half weeks since his surgery and Alex was able to move around with assistance. He had been moved from the ICU and was in the pediatric ward where he had made friends with some of the kids there. It was harder for Sam to be at both bedsides now, but she was glad that Alex had a distraction. But at night, when the other kids were asleep, Alex lay awake; too afraid to close his eyes; too afraid to relive the incident again. His erratic patterns of sleep concerned his doctors, and once a day he spoke with a child psychologist to help put his fears at bay and help him sort out his feelings about the incident.

It would be a long road before Alex got a grip of his fear and learned to trust again. He knew his father attacked his mother with a knife. He remembered her crying as the knife slashed across her forearms. He knew Luka had been hurt. He remembered freezing in the truck's blinding headlights; the roar of the engine that grew louder as it approached them; the screech and the smell of the burning rubber tires and the hard shove that sent him into a stack of garbage cans. He remembered the pain in his head and the last sounds he heard. They were Luka's voice and his mother's - both screaming followed by a sickening crunching sound, a moan and a thud. The next thing he knew he was laying on a table beneath bright lights then he started throwing up.

There were a few nights when he did sleep only to be awakened by the nightmare of his father running them over in the motel's parking lot. Mostly his mother was there to comfort him but sometimes it was the nurse on duty and sometimes he was alone. So Alex decided it was better to try and sleep in the daytime when the sleep was light and the dreams safe and at night he played with his game boy or wheeled himself about the ward.

Sam was heading to Alex's bedside with a coffee when she found him in the hallway.

"Still not sleeping, huh?"

"Nope. I slept today. I'm okay,"

"Bored?" Alex nodded. "Well, what would you like to do?"

"Talk,"

"Okay. About what?"

"What happened to us,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes ... Do your arms still hurt?"

"A little but I'm going to be fine. And ... so are you!"

"What about Luka? Is he going to be okay?"

"I hope so," Sam felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't want her son to see her crying but it was too late.

"You're crying. He's not going to be alright is he?"

"He's very sick, Alex,"

"I'm not stupid mom, I know what happened to him. I know dad hit Luka with his truck. If it wasn't for me Luka wouldn't have gotten hurt. It's my fault!" Alex started to cry and his mother hugged him.

"Alex, it's not your fault Luka's hurt. If it weren't for you ... if your dad didn't see you with Luka he would have killed him right there in the parking lot. When he saw you, he swerved and ... well ... you saved each other's lives,"

"I remember Luka throwing me out of the way ... then I heard these noises but I don't remember anything after that,"

"You banged your head pretty hard. But thanks to Luka, your dad didn't run you over. I will never be able to thank him enough for that,"

"Me either ... Mom, why did dad hurt you?"

"Your dad has problems and when he drinks or takes drugs. It makes him do some pretty terrible things,"

"Does he hate you?"

"I don't know,"

"Does he hate me?"

"No. I actually think that he loves you. When he showed up at the motel he wanted to take you with him. That's part of the reason he hurt me,"

"Luka would never hurt you. He'd never hurt me. I hate dad! I never want to see him again! I hate him!"

"I know Alex and you'll never have to see him again but I don't want you to hate him,"

"I don't love him!"

"That's fine, but don't hate him. That won't make you any better than he is and the bottom line is that he is your father and he's got a lot of problems but I'm going to make sure he never comes near us again,"

"Mom, is Luka still in the room near where I was?" Sam said that he was. "He's still there because he's not getting better, is he?"

"Well, he's not getting any worse and that's a good sign," Sam said, trying to reassure Alex as well as herself.

"His family still here?"

"Yeah. They're staying at his place now. They come everyday. Mostly in the morning,"

"They're really worried about him too, huh?" asked Alex.

"Yep ... But they're hopeful. I'm hopeful," said Sam.

"Do they look like Luka?"

"His brother, Davro looks like him a lot. He brought his wife and I've seen pictures of Luka's nieces and nephew. They look related,"

"Can I see Luka, now? Please?"

"It's really late and way past visiting hours, hon,"

"Could you ask the nurse? Please mom, just try. I wanna see Luka. I promise, I'll be quiet and I won't touch anything. Please, mom,"

"Okay. Let me see what I can do,"

Sam wheeled Alex to the ICU. It was dark and quiet except for the hissing of the ventilators and the beeping of the heart monitors. Sam spoke with the ICU nurse who said she would bend the rules for them.

"Alex, Shelly said it's okay. We can see him now but you have to be very quiet, okay?"

"I will," Sam pushed Alex to Luka's bedside. He was stunned to see the wires and tubes connected to Luka. He looked around at the lights on the cardiac monitor; turned to look at the rise and fall of the gauge on the respirator. Sam was a little concerned that Alex was getting overwhelmed but he had told her he was alright and he wanted to stay.

"Is it okay if I touch his hand?" he asked his mother.

"Sure,"

Alex gently placed his hand on Luka's. Luka's fingers moved a little but he didn't open his eyes.

"Has he woken up at all, mom?"

"No hon, he hasn't but he's moved his fingers a little,"

"Can he hear me if I talk to him?"

"I think so. I've been talking to him all the time," she said.

"He doesn't look so good. He's really white,"

"Well, he lost a lot of blood when he got hurt and his body's working really hard so that he could get better. That's why he's so pale. When he's stronger, he'll look more like the Luka we know,"

"Luka? I'm here Luka. It's me, Alex. They put a hole in my head. It's really gross ... all this stuff came out ...I couldn't see at first but now I can ... You gotta see my head ...when they move the bandages, so wake up okay? Please, wake up. You saved me Luka so you can't die. Don't die, Luka ... don't die," Both mother and son were in tears.