Chapter 8 - In the Mind's Eye

Luka could hear the rain against the window of the ICU. He loved the sound of rain when he was in bed. It made sleep inviting. But though he wanted to sleep everyone kept asking him to wake up. He tried but his eyelids were so heavy. And as he tried to emerge from the darkness there was a force; unbearable pain pulling him back under. He was confused. He felt drained and it was hard to move.

Abby was there sometimes. He could smell the faint smell of the strawberry lotion she always wore. Abby. How lucky he was to still be friends with her. He'd been such a jerk to her but though they were wrong romantically, they were solid as friends. Carter was there sometimes too. He felt him touch his shoulder every time he came by and Susan stopped by regularly. He recognized her low, husky voice and caught the scent of her hair which always smelled like apples. Then for some reason, he heard Davor and Rahela talking to him in Croatian. They sounded worried and they too kept trying to wake him. Were they visiting him or was he visiting them in Croatia? Was something wrong with their father?

Everything was a jumbled mess. He thought it was incredible how he could identify people without being able to see them. But why couldn't he see his friends? Why were Davor and Rahela there? Was he in Croatia? No, he couldn't be, because Susan and Abby and Carter and Sam were there. Was he blind? What happened? Everyone was in the same room with him but he could not move, or speak to them or touch them. Then he remembered. There was a lot of shouting and there was someone trying to hurt Sam and Alex with a knife. Then he couldn't see. The headlights were shining straight into his eyes. He could hear an engine roar towards him. Sam was screaming something and he tossed Alex as far as he could. But what happened then?

He started to hear Sam again. She seemed to be there all the time. To his surprise, she was crying. He felt her tears on his arm and wanted to reach out to her and comfort her but he couldn't. It was warmer than usual and he was uncomfortable. He couldn't really feel anything but his muscles seemed stiff and he couldn't move. There was a lot of commotion in the room, suddenly. Why was Sam crying so much? Was he dead? No. He couldn't be. He kept hearing everyone in the room. Everyone except Alex. Where was Alex? Was Alex dead?

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Down in the ER lounge, Haleh, Susan and Abby were on break.

"Haleh, how's Sam now?" asked Abby.

"She's better. Lydia was on lunch break; thought it might be a good idea to take her along. It might do her good to eat something and have a change of scenery. Poor girl's been between those two rooms for days,"

"Yeah, she's supposed to be staying with me and I think she's only been at my place maybe 3 times. She eats here, showers here and she sleeps in their rooms," said Abby.

"What happened to upset her?" Susan asked.

"Dr. Kovac had a set back," Haleh started.

"Shit. What kind of set back?" Susan was concerned because Abby had "that look".

"He developed a fever overnight and Dr. Anspaugh and Dr. Corday suspected infection and a while ago the fever spiked and was accompanied by a seizure,"

"He didn't frigging need that now," Susan muttered, "Did they know what caused the infection?"

"Was it the splenectomy?" asked Abby as she put the cup to her lips.

"No, kidney infection," Haleh replied.

"He came in with a laceration to the right kidney and the renal vein needed repairing. I'm not surprised. Elizabeth put him on a heavy dose of cipro and he seemed to be doing okay. I'm surprised this has happened now. So how is he?"

"He's still in a coma, but now there's talk about septic shock," Haleh said sadly.

"What? I've gotta go up there," said Abby.

"I'm coming with you," said Susan.

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Luka's Room – ICU

Abby grabbed onto Susan's arm as they approached Luka's room. The ICU nurse was speaking to Elizabeth while hanging a fresh bag of IV fluids and antibiotics. She glanced at them, rather sympathetically and left the room. Luka did not look well. He was deathly grey and Elizabeth seemed concerned.

Susan spoke up, "Elizabeth may we? ..." Elizabeth nodded.

"What's happened?" asked Abby. "He looks worse,"

"He's got a nasty kidney and urinary tract infection. Fever's high at 105.6 and he's had a seizure. Fortunately ... he's still reactive even though he's still comatose so ... I've started empiric therapy using neutropenia and immunosuppressive drugs ... but ...I don't know if he's going to improve at this point,"

Abby put her hand to her mouth and tried to stifle her tears while Susan tried to be strong for them both.

"Well, he's still responsive so he's we can't give up on him yet, right?" asked Susan.

"Yes, he is. But Susan, he's so weak ... I'm not sure he could fight off the infection ... even with the drugs,"

"How's Sam taking this?" asked Abby.

"Very badly, I'm afraid. She blames herself for this. I really don't know what to say to her; but she needs to get some rest and pull herself together for Alex ... even if we lose Luka. Alex is improving but he's not out of the woods yet. She needs to take care of herself so that she can take care of her son,"

"And the family?" Abby asked motioning to the couple sitting at Luka's side.

"They understand how grave the situation is. I think they are hopeful but I think they are also preparing themselves in case he doesn't survive," Elizabeth was blinking back the tears now.

"His heart rate is still steady?" Elizabeth nodded to Susan's question. "How long do you think before we see if the drugs take effect?"

"I'm hoping the therapy takes effect by this evening. I'm not being the pessimist here, Susan. I'd like him to regain consciousness too, but it doesn't look promising,"

"I know," replied Susan, "but I also know that Luka is very strong and very tough and I don't know ... I think aggressive therapy and encouragement is the key to getting him through this. Elizabeth, I lost Mark too. I'm not ready to lose another friend. I'm holding on to my hope. Luka's not going to die,"

Stunned by her comment, Abby and Elizabeth watched as Susan hurried out of the ICU. She didn't want anyone, especially his family, to see her cry.