Quest of the Green Beast:
The Impossible Challenge
Disclaimer: Naruto is the copyrighted property of its creator, whom is in no way me.
Summary: A brilliant idea, shining like the most glorious of stars, descends from the heavens and crosses paths with the ever so beautiful Green Beast of Konoha, or rather, Maito Gai to his friends and rivals. Sometimes, to be a Shinobi, means that there are times when you must socialize with others and there are also times where you must speak more than three words in each sentence. Gai-sensei and his dazzling thumbs-up signs now must tackle the largest challenge in his lifetime: to turn Aburame Shino, Hyuga Neji, and Uchiha Sasuke, into happy, smiling, socializing citizens of the Hidden Leaf Village. Will Gai succeed? Or will his quest be in vain? Read on to find out... or not...
Pairings: There probably will not be outright pairings in this fanfic, although there may be many small hints just to keep readers content.
Also featured in this story: All the other Leaf Genins and their teachers (with similar missions)
Warning: Mild character bashing once in a while, a bit of Gai bashing (but nothing very severe), mild OOCness and mediocre not following the Naruto timeline.
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(Review Responses)
Magicians of the Yami: Yes, Gai SHOULD mind his own business, but if he didn't, this story can't exist... so therefore, Gai doesn't! - Thanks for reviewing!
Yuen-chan: O.o Are you all right? –Stares at your prone figure- Should I call an ambulance? Thanks for laughing, though!
Zenith White Storm: Thank you! The idea came to me when I read a fic where Lee dreamt that everyone wore his clothes and had his haircut, including Sakura! I sort of forgot the title of the story though...
Yumi-sama: Thank you for the link! I love Naruto Wallpaper! I thought that Naruto should yell something out, since he usually has many outbursts.
Lafine: They probably would! Gai is now only just beginning to torture them! I'll try to update regularly but, I'm afraid that I'm not known for finishing stories...
Aeja Tsuki: Yes, I agree. And I'm not telling! :P Actually, there will be no downright pairings, so you'll just have to stick with soaking up all the hints I give you!
EmptySanity: Names just escapes him sometimes... well, most of the time... or actually, all the time! Do you? I actually drew a rough sketch of Neji, Sasuke and Shino... in... Well... Gai-wear... All I can say is: It really looks freaky...
SquirrelOfShadows: Go Hinata indeed! Although I shouldn't takes sides... I support you anyway!
Pyrrhic Lotus: Shino probably has one... deep... DEEP... down inside... behind his glasses and collar... or not... Thank you for the review!
Dark Nemesis 7: Yes, Neji/Ten-Ten is really cute! And you noticed? I've been waiting for someone to point it out! -
Anfu: I'm sorry if the pairings offend you, but I won't make any blatant couples, just small hints, so it is easy for people to disregard them. There will be hidden meanings sometimes, so it's up to you to interpret them! Anyway, thank you for reading!
Kamikakushi: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you found the last chapter amusing and I hope that I can continue to meet your standards. But these days, my humor keeps trying to commit suicide by bungee-jumping out the window along with my sanity...
Chibi Tenten: It IS a weird sight, since I, being the sick-twisted person I am, actually sketched them... O.O; But I don't think anyone will be seeing it any time soon... –eyes the picture locked away in the closet—I'm not sure who Shino should be paired up with, myself. The hints are for you to decide.
Stizzo: I'm also curious... since I haven't thought that far yet... and I'm sorry that my humor is slowly fading... and this chapter is a prime example... sorry again... Thanks for reviewing, though.
Haruchan: I don't think I write... THAT well... 99... 66 But, Thank you very much for your comment!
Vaari: I'll try my best to 'hurry it up'! But I can't really guarantee, since I'm bad at keeping promises...But I'll try!
Pyro Dragon 117: Thank you for the suggestion! In fact, I had actually planned that scene for the chapter after this... Heheheh... Thanks for reviewing!
Anatra DeSylvianno: Gai is great for comic relief, ne? I try to not let the characters stray from the cannon... although sometimes it's fairly hard, since I have only watch episodes 1-8 and 70-74. I usually just get my Naruto from the Manga. Yes, they ARE doomed!
Renn: Don't worry! I promise that Gai won't actually succeed... in that aspect... Meehehehehe!
White Witch: I'm glad you found my story amusing!
Jewel Song: I'll update as soon as I finish these replies!
Tetsu: I just love that pairing and I couldn't help but add it in!
ITSAME: All I can say is, they are probably not very happy... Thank you for your reviews! At first I thought the jokes were a bit lame... but oh well!
Hitokiri Midori: The girls are a bit docile... but maybe, Inner Sakura can spice things up... It's a bit hard to properly characterize Ten-Ten since we don't even know of her last name!
Weriddramagirl: Actually, I think I remember reading your story or something similar to it... But I think that the last part was actually a bit of inspiration with a bit of your help! So, I give you my thanks!
Saiera: Ehehehe, I apologize to anyone who had nightmares over the last image... Gomen nasai! Suminasen!
Kashisenshey: Thank you for reviewing! And I won't make fun of it, in fact I think you're name is really cool!
Place-your-name-here: Yes, believe it or not, Kakashi was ONE minute early!
Night-Owl123: Thanks for reviewing! I hope this didn't take too long!
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(Key :)
"................." talking
'.................' thinking
--- Beginning/End of Chapter/Change of Scene
(End of Key)
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The golden sun hung high in the light blue sky, overseeing the village of Konoha and its citizens, bathing them in a warm unearthly glow. Judging by its position, one would conclude that it was almost noon and that a certain masked Jounin would soon be arriving at the meeting place of his new team.
Kiba was mad. Actually, that would be a fairly large understatement, for he seemed to have lost all rational thoughts and his bloodlust was soaring right off the charts, therefore, livid may be a better word for this situation. So, Kiba was livid. He was enraged that his new instructor had the GUTS to schedule the team meeting at 6:00 a.m. and then left him to wait for an absurd total of five hours, along with his constipated puppy, a loud obnoxious ramen-obsessed blond and a thick-browed Gai-adoring freak. Inuzuka Kiba was F-U-R-I-O-U-S.
He gritted his teeth and heaved out a sigh. Of all the other teachers he could have, he gets stuck with this one. Then Akamaru let out a whine. Kiba let out yet another sigh.
Woe is him.
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Chapter 4: New Friends, New Rivals, and New Eyebrows... I mean... Problems
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A pair of dark eyes carefully scanned over his companions from behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
Uchiha Sasuke had seated himself on the far left side of the meeting place, leisurely leaning against the trunk of a tree, his elbows resting on his drawn-up knees and his chin resting upon his interlaced fingers. The Uchiha's dark eyes were alert and, like his, were also observing his new temporary teammates.
Hyuuga Neji had also sat himself away from the 'group' of the far right, more out of habitat than cold indifference. Although his white eyes were closed, Shino was sure that he was also watching them. The member of the bug clan gave an involuntary shudder at the fact of being stared at through the back of the Hyuuga geniuses head. It was quite disturbing really.
Shino was used to sitting off in a corner while his more talkative teammates talked and bickered about non-important matters. Although for him, it was only Kiba that actually really spoke and Hinata occasionally softly agreeing with him, Kiba talked and bickered enough for three people. The silence between them now was oddly uncomfortable.
Sasuke and Neji were also having similar thoughts. They were both used to having a noisy teammate constantly challenging them or even insulting them and both were also used to yelling back at them to 'shut-up'. Now that their long-desired peace had arrived, they found that they didn't really desire it after all.
The three Genins were seated in some sort of strange-looking triangle. Since there really wasn't a group for the three to sit away from, this to an outsider looked rather weird.
"Hey..." to their surprise, it was Shino who was first to break the awkward silence. Neji and Sasuke both glanced in his direction and Shino felt like that the stares seemed to be weighing him down. "...what is... Gai-sensei like?" His inquiry was in a monotone as usual. Neji seemed to struggle a bit for an answer.
"He is... unique."
"Oh." Silence once again, drifted over the three of them. Neji wondered if he should also say something else, since it was rather impolite to end a conversation like that. But as soon as he was about to speak, a loud booming voice filled the area.
"Good morning, my students!" The three quickly turned their heads, expecting to see the painfully familiar face of Maito Gai but were instead, greeted by the sight of... a thick-browed turtle?
"..." said Neji, Sasuke and Shino, a medium-sized drop of sweat suspended about a few inches above their heads. They stared at the turtle which also stared back.
"...Why does the turtle have eyebrows?" Sasuke couldn't help but blurt out. He had wanted to know ever since the first time he saw the turtle in the chuunin exam. He had also been spending too much times around Naruto.
"...Thick... eyebrows..." muttered Neji, who should have been used to the sight by now, still found himself surprised at the oddity of the creature before him.
"...I don't know..." confessed Shino, staring wide-eyed at the four-legged reptile, the question also plaguing his mind. And he though some of his bug friends were weird...
"Are you ready?" the turtle asked enthusiastically. The question was greeted by blank stares. "Well, HERE COMES GAI-SENSEI!" Following that announcement, a small tornado rose up from the back of the turtle, blowing clouds of dust at the Genins, causing Neji and Sasuke to bring a hand up in front of their faces to avoid getting sand in their eyes.
Shino inwardly laughed superiorly at how better protected he was than they were. Then he blinked in surprise behind his glasses, wondering what possessed him to mentally laugh like that. He hoped that it wasn't a sign that Gai had started to poison his mind.
The dust cleared to reveal: Gai! (A/N Surprise, surprise.)
"Good morning, everyone!" Gai's teeth 'pinged' at them as he flashed the three thumbs up signs... with both thumbs! Gasp! The three merely stared at him. Gai forced the manly tears of disappointment from his eyes as he remembered the round happy face of his favourite student Lee and how he always greeted him with an emotional, 'Gai-sensei!' Wait, what was he doing? Now wasn't the time for wishful thinking! He had a mission to complete! And now was his first chance to improve their social skills. A frown came across his features as he shook a finger disapprovingly at the three.
"Now, now, now! That isn't the way to act when someone greets you!" he scolded, "When someone tells you 'good morning' you MUST answer, 'good morning' as well!" The three looked at him with nearly identical expressions of horror... although you really couldn't tell with them... "Now I want to hear you! Good morning!" greeted Gai sensei.
"..."
"...hn..."
"..."
Gai tried not to be discouraged. "No, that's not right, try again! Good morning, everyone!"
"...hn..."
"..."
"..."
Gai tried yet again. "Now, if you don't do it properly, we'll be here all day, practicing! Now, won't that be fun?" Neji, Shino and Sasuke wore incredulous expressions, exchanging looks that said, 'what the hell?' with each other. They agreed silently to co operate.
"Good morning!" announced Gai.
"...hi..."
"...hi..."
"...hello..."
"Again! GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS!"
"...morning..."
"...morning..."
"...g'morning..."
Gai bit back a sigh. It wasn't what he wanted, but it will have to do for now... And if he tried it again, his students would probably run off... to buy him a coffin...
Sasuke's thin, delicate eyebrow was twitching violently, his hand tightening around the handle of his kunai. Veins had appeared around the sides of Neji's Byakugan and his knuckles turned white from the pressure his was exerting. The visible part of Shino's face was now a dark red and some of his bugs could be seen scurrying around on his as if preparing for a massacre.
"Before we start, I think the three of us need to know each other a little better, since we will be teammates from now on!" Gai beamed at the three who winced slightly at the sight of his eyebrows, but Gai pretended not to notice. "I think we will start with some introductions!"
Gai beamed at them once again. "I want you three to talk about yourself, your likes and dislikes and your hopes and dreams! This is an activity to get you to open up to others more! The four of us are now going to be good friends and you can share anything you want with us!"
"What if we don't want to?" asked Neji, not really liking the whole idea. I mean, Gai's friend? Gai's GOOD friend?
Gai smiled a creepy smile that made Gaara seem like a sane, serene, peace- loving person who fainted at the sight of blood with no intention of hurting even a fly. His smile sent chills down the backs of the Antisocial Ninjas. "You have no choice! If you refuse, we will not attempt any missions or training until you do!" This earned him three synchronized exasperated sighs and glares that clearly said 'Not this again'.
"So, Neji, since you refused to answer the first time I met you, you can go first!" Gai exclaimed logically. Neji released a long, suffering sigh as he stood up to answer.
"My name is Hyuuga Neji," Neji groaned mentally when Gai signaled for him to go on, "and I..."
"Go on, Neji!" Gai encouraged him, performing the 'encouragement pose' by giving him a thumbs-up.
"...and I like... uh... training?" finished Neji with a shrug. "And I don't like... the Main Family. My goal is... to become... stronger..." Neji sat down, a bit flustered at being forced to speak when he didn't want to.
"Susake! Your turn!" announced Gai. Sasuke gave him a piercing look, but refused to speak. Gai looked at him, a frown across his face. "Go on! What's wrong?"
"...I won't answer until my name is called." came the rather blunt answer. Gai looked at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Shino gave a small, delicate cough, which was obviously fake.
"Last I checked, his name was Uchiha Sasuke," Neji clarified helpfully. If Gai was planning to torture them for a week, he might as well humiliate him as much as he can... although Gai regularly tortures him on a daily basis.
"Yes, yes, of course!" said Gai, not missing a beat, but missing many, "I was just joking with you! So, go ahead, Su... Sake... Sake... Susa... what... was it again?" Gai flashed them a nervous brilliant smile at his temporary students' expressions which now looked like this: -- . "Well, go on Uchiha!" The Uchiha genius stood grudgingly up and he mumbled something along the lines of, "Sasuke, my name is Sasuke!"
"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like a lot of things and... There isn't anything I really like. My goal is to kill a certain man. Happy now?" he spat. Gai didn't seem like that he was very happy.
"But... Uchiha! You didn't elaborate!" Gai exclaimed. This activity wasn't going as well as he had hoped. Sasuke eyed him defiantly.
"You never said I had to." And with that, Sasuke reclaimed his seat. Shino stood up, not really in the mood for wasting anymore time.
"I'm Aburame Shino; I like bugs, I don't like bug spray and I wish to one day be on the ANBU squad." Gai beamed joyfully, large masculine tears materializing in his eyes. Yes, YES, Shino! That was the way to do it! You may be saved yet!
"That was a most WONDERFUL introduction!" he congratulated, "you two should be more like him!" he gestured to Sasuke and Neji, "Well done!"
"And Now, I shall take a few seconds to introduce myself! My name is Maito Gai! I am old enough to carry the wisdom of the world, yet I am young enough to be gifted handsomely by the flames of youth! My main goal in life is to completely surpass my arch rival, but I also wish to assist misguided youths on their road of life!" he announced, as he way of an introduction, flashing his overrated 'good guy pose'. The three visibly cringed. "Now that we got that settled, I guess its time for some training and missions!" Gai turned to his left and signaled for his team to follow him. "Let's go! We have a beautiful day ahead of us!"
"..."
"..."
"... and he called that a few seconds..." murmured Neji. Sasuke and Shino slowly nodded in agreement.
"...Neji, don't attempt at humor. It scares me," remarked Shino.
"..."
"...speak for yourself..."
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"Yo." Three boys and one dog, spun around at the greeting, three of them in surprise, and one of them in anger.
"YOU'RE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!" shrieked Naruto, Kiba and Lee, their voices melding together and resonating off the walls of the entire village of Konoha.
"WOOF!" agreed Akamaru, more quietly then he would of like, due to his recent stomach pains.
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The everyday townspeople looked around in alarm, some dropping groceries while mothers pulled their children protectively towards them and other men, brandishing sticks around. They soon calmed down and shrugged to each other.
"It's probably just an angry girlfriend bitching at their date," reasoned a villager with grey brown hair to his companion.
"Really?" the other man responded, a hint of challenge in his voice, "Then why were there three MALE voices?"
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"I got lost on the road of life!" exclaimed Kakashi cheerfully, holding up a hand in salute.
"LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Kiba, shaking his fist at the Jounin.
"STOP LYING WITH A STRAIGHT FACE!!!!!!" added Naruto. The two loudest ninjas in Konoha looked to their creepy-eyebrowed teammate, as if expecting him to back them up. The miniature Gai cleared his throat importantly as he stepped up, his eyebrows knitting together in a frown.
"Kakashi-sensei," he began, "what does the road of life look like?" Naruto and Kiba's heads plummeted down, burying themselves into the Earth as the rest of their bodies gave feeble twitches.
"Well," Kakashi thought carefully, a hidden twinkle in his eye, "it's made of concrete and there are second rate inns on either side!"
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Announcer: Oh ho ho ho! What missions and training does Gai have in store for them? Tune in and find out!
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A/N I hope I didn't disappoint you all too greatly this time, since this chapter was highly monotone, to me at least. I'll try to improve it, since I'm not really in the mood for writing right now.
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Criticism will be welcomed happily, if they are constructive.
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Thank you and have a nice day.
Frontier of Darkness
The Impossible Challenge
Disclaimer: Naruto is the copyrighted property of its creator, whom is in no way me.
Summary: A brilliant idea, shining like the most glorious of stars, descends from the heavens and crosses paths with the ever so beautiful Green Beast of Konoha, or rather, Maito Gai to his friends and rivals. Sometimes, to be a Shinobi, means that there are times when you must socialize with others and there are also times where you must speak more than three words in each sentence. Gai-sensei and his dazzling thumbs-up signs now must tackle the largest challenge in his lifetime: to turn Aburame Shino, Hyuga Neji, and Uchiha Sasuke, into happy, smiling, socializing citizens of the Hidden Leaf Village. Will Gai succeed? Or will his quest be in vain? Read on to find out... or not...
Pairings: There probably will not be outright pairings in this fanfic, although there may be many small hints just to keep readers content.
Also featured in this story: All the other Leaf Genins and their teachers (with similar missions)
Warning: Mild character bashing once in a while, a bit of Gai bashing (but nothing very severe), mild OOCness and mediocre not following the Naruto timeline.
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(Review Responses)
Magicians of the Yami: Yes, Gai SHOULD mind his own business, but if he didn't, this story can't exist... so therefore, Gai doesn't! - Thanks for reviewing!
Yuen-chan: O.o Are you all right? –Stares at your prone figure- Should I call an ambulance? Thanks for laughing, though!
Zenith White Storm: Thank you! The idea came to me when I read a fic where Lee dreamt that everyone wore his clothes and had his haircut, including Sakura! I sort of forgot the title of the story though...
Yumi-sama: Thank you for the link! I love Naruto Wallpaper! I thought that Naruto should yell something out, since he usually has many outbursts.
Lafine: They probably would! Gai is now only just beginning to torture them! I'll try to update regularly but, I'm afraid that I'm not known for finishing stories...
Aeja Tsuki: Yes, I agree. And I'm not telling! :P Actually, there will be no downright pairings, so you'll just have to stick with soaking up all the hints I give you!
EmptySanity: Names just escapes him sometimes... well, most of the time... or actually, all the time! Do you? I actually drew a rough sketch of Neji, Sasuke and Shino... in... Well... Gai-wear... All I can say is: It really looks freaky...
SquirrelOfShadows: Go Hinata indeed! Although I shouldn't takes sides... I support you anyway!
Pyrrhic Lotus: Shino probably has one... deep... DEEP... down inside... behind his glasses and collar... or not... Thank you for the review!
Dark Nemesis 7: Yes, Neji/Ten-Ten is really cute! And you noticed? I've been waiting for someone to point it out! -
Anfu: I'm sorry if the pairings offend you, but I won't make any blatant couples, just small hints, so it is easy for people to disregard them. There will be hidden meanings sometimes, so it's up to you to interpret them! Anyway, thank you for reading!
Kamikakushi: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you found the last chapter amusing and I hope that I can continue to meet your standards. But these days, my humor keeps trying to commit suicide by bungee-jumping out the window along with my sanity...
Chibi Tenten: It IS a weird sight, since I, being the sick-twisted person I am, actually sketched them... O.O; But I don't think anyone will be seeing it any time soon... –eyes the picture locked away in the closet—I'm not sure who Shino should be paired up with, myself. The hints are for you to decide.
Stizzo: I'm also curious... since I haven't thought that far yet... and I'm sorry that my humor is slowly fading... and this chapter is a prime example... sorry again... Thanks for reviewing, though.
Haruchan: I don't think I write... THAT well... 99... 66 But, Thank you very much for your comment!
Vaari: I'll try my best to 'hurry it up'! But I can't really guarantee, since I'm bad at keeping promises...But I'll try!
Pyro Dragon 117: Thank you for the suggestion! In fact, I had actually planned that scene for the chapter after this... Heheheh... Thanks for reviewing!
Anatra DeSylvianno: Gai is great for comic relief, ne? I try to not let the characters stray from the cannon... although sometimes it's fairly hard, since I have only watch episodes 1-8 and 70-74. I usually just get my Naruto from the Manga. Yes, they ARE doomed!
Renn: Don't worry! I promise that Gai won't actually succeed... in that aspect... Meehehehehe!
White Witch: I'm glad you found my story amusing!
Jewel Song: I'll update as soon as I finish these replies!
Tetsu: I just love that pairing and I couldn't help but add it in!
ITSAME: All I can say is, they are probably not very happy... Thank you for your reviews! At first I thought the jokes were a bit lame... but oh well!
Hitokiri Midori: The girls are a bit docile... but maybe, Inner Sakura can spice things up... It's a bit hard to properly characterize Ten-Ten since we don't even know of her last name!
Weriddramagirl: Actually, I think I remember reading your story or something similar to it... But I think that the last part was actually a bit of inspiration with a bit of your help! So, I give you my thanks!
Saiera: Ehehehe, I apologize to anyone who had nightmares over the last image... Gomen nasai! Suminasen!
Kashisenshey: Thank you for reviewing! And I won't make fun of it, in fact I think you're name is really cool!
Place-your-name-here: Yes, believe it or not, Kakashi was ONE minute early!
Night-Owl123: Thanks for reviewing! I hope this didn't take too long!
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(Key :)
"................." talking
'.................' thinking
--- Beginning/End of Chapter/Change of Scene
(End of Key)
--------------------------------------------
The golden sun hung high in the light blue sky, overseeing the village of Konoha and its citizens, bathing them in a warm unearthly glow. Judging by its position, one would conclude that it was almost noon and that a certain masked Jounin would soon be arriving at the meeting place of his new team.
Kiba was mad. Actually, that would be a fairly large understatement, for he seemed to have lost all rational thoughts and his bloodlust was soaring right off the charts, therefore, livid may be a better word for this situation. So, Kiba was livid. He was enraged that his new instructor had the GUTS to schedule the team meeting at 6:00 a.m. and then left him to wait for an absurd total of five hours, along with his constipated puppy, a loud obnoxious ramen-obsessed blond and a thick-browed Gai-adoring freak. Inuzuka Kiba was F-U-R-I-O-U-S.
He gritted his teeth and heaved out a sigh. Of all the other teachers he could have, he gets stuck with this one. Then Akamaru let out a whine. Kiba let out yet another sigh.
Woe is him.
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Chapter 4: New Friends, New Rivals, and New Eyebrows... I mean... Problems
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A pair of dark eyes carefully scanned over his companions from behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
Uchiha Sasuke had seated himself on the far left side of the meeting place, leisurely leaning against the trunk of a tree, his elbows resting on his drawn-up knees and his chin resting upon his interlaced fingers. The Uchiha's dark eyes were alert and, like his, were also observing his new temporary teammates.
Hyuuga Neji had also sat himself away from the 'group' of the far right, more out of habitat than cold indifference. Although his white eyes were closed, Shino was sure that he was also watching them. The member of the bug clan gave an involuntary shudder at the fact of being stared at through the back of the Hyuuga geniuses head. It was quite disturbing really.
Shino was used to sitting off in a corner while his more talkative teammates talked and bickered about non-important matters. Although for him, it was only Kiba that actually really spoke and Hinata occasionally softly agreeing with him, Kiba talked and bickered enough for three people. The silence between them now was oddly uncomfortable.
Sasuke and Neji were also having similar thoughts. They were both used to having a noisy teammate constantly challenging them or even insulting them and both were also used to yelling back at them to 'shut-up'. Now that their long-desired peace had arrived, they found that they didn't really desire it after all.
The three Genins were seated in some sort of strange-looking triangle. Since there really wasn't a group for the three to sit away from, this to an outsider looked rather weird.
"Hey..." to their surprise, it was Shino who was first to break the awkward silence. Neji and Sasuke both glanced in his direction and Shino felt like that the stares seemed to be weighing him down. "...what is... Gai-sensei like?" His inquiry was in a monotone as usual. Neji seemed to struggle a bit for an answer.
"He is... unique."
"Oh." Silence once again, drifted over the three of them. Neji wondered if he should also say something else, since it was rather impolite to end a conversation like that. But as soon as he was about to speak, a loud booming voice filled the area.
"Good morning, my students!" The three quickly turned their heads, expecting to see the painfully familiar face of Maito Gai but were instead, greeted by the sight of... a thick-browed turtle?
"..." said Neji, Sasuke and Shino, a medium-sized drop of sweat suspended about a few inches above their heads. They stared at the turtle which also stared back.
"...Why does the turtle have eyebrows?" Sasuke couldn't help but blurt out. He had wanted to know ever since the first time he saw the turtle in the chuunin exam. He had also been spending too much times around Naruto.
"...Thick... eyebrows..." muttered Neji, who should have been used to the sight by now, still found himself surprised at the oddity of the creature before him.
"...I don't know..." confessed Shino, staring wide-eyed at the four-legged reptile, the question also plaguing his mind. And he though some of his bug friends were weird...
"Are you ready?" the turtle asked enthusiastically. The question was greeted by blank stares. "Well, HERE COMES GAI-SENSEI!" Following that announcement, a small tornado rose up from the back of the turtle, blowing clouds of dust at the Genins, causing Neji and Sasuke to bring a hand up in front of their faces to avoid getting sand in their eyes.
Shino inwardly laughed superiorly at how better protected he was than they were. Then he blinked in surprise behind his glasses, wondering what possessed him to mentally laugh like that. He hoped that it wasn't a sign that Gai had started to poison his mind.
The dust cleared to reveal: Gai! (A/N Surprise, surprise.)
"Good morning, everyone!" Gai's teeth 'pinged' at them as he flashed the three thumbs up signs... with both thumbs! Gasp! The three merely stared at him. Gai forced the manly tears of disappointment from his eyes as he remembered the round happy face of his favourite student Lee and how he always greeted him with an emotional, 'Gai-sensei!' Wait, what was he doing? Now wasn't the time for wishful thinking! He had a mission to complete! And now was his first chance to improve their social skills. A frown came across his features as he shook a finger disapprovingly at the three.
"Now, now, now! That isn't the way to act when someone greets you!" he scolded, "When someone tells you 'good morning' you MUST answer, 'good morning' as well!" The three looked at him with nearly identical expressions of horror... although you really couldn't tell with them... "Now I want to hear you! Good morning!" greeted Gai sensei.
"..."
"...hn..."
"..."
Gai tried not to be discouraged. "No, that's not right, try again! Good morning, everyone!"
"...hn..."
"..."
"..."
Gai tried yet again. "Now, if you don't do it properly, we'll be here all day, practicing! Now, won't that be fun?" Neji, Shino and Sasuke wore incredulous expressions, exchanging looks that said, 'what the hell?' with each other. They agreed silently to co operate.
"Good morning!" announced Gai.
"...hi..."
"...hi..."
"...hello..."
"Again! GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS!"
"...morning..."
"...morning..."
"...g'morning..."
Gai bit back a sigh. It wasn't what he wanted, but it will have to do for now... And if he tried it again, his students would probably run off... to buy him a coffin...
Sasuke's thin, delicate eyebrow was twitching violently, his hand tightening around the handle of his kunai. Veins had appeared around the sides of Neji's Byakugan and his knuckles turned white from the pressure his was exerting. The visible part of Shino's face was now a dark red and some of his bugs could be seen scurrying around on his as if preparing for a massacre.
"Before we start, I think the three of us need to know each other a little better, since we will be teammates from now on!" Gai beamed at the three who winced slightly at the sight of his eyebrows, but Gai pretended not to notice. "I think we will start with some introductions!"
Gai beamed at them once again. "I want you three to talk about yourself, your likes and dislikes and your hopes and dreams! This is an activity to get you to open up to others more! The four of us are now going to be good friends and you can share anything you want with us!"
"What if we don't want to?" asked Neji, not really liking the whole idea. I mean, Gai's friend? Gai's GOOD friend?
Gai smiled a creepy smile that made Gaara seem like a sane, serene, peace- loving person who fainted at the sight of blood with no intention of hurting even a fly. His smile sent chills down the backs of the Antisocial Ninjas. "You have no choice! If you refuse, we will not attempt any missions or training until you do!" This earned him three synchronized exasperated sighs and glares that clearly said 'Not this again'.
"So, Neji, since you refused to answer the first time I met you, you can go first!" Gai exclaimed logically. Neji released a long, suffering sigh as he stood up to answer.
"My name is Hyuuga Neji," Neji groaned mentally when Gai signaled for him to go on, "and I..."
"Go on, Neji!" Gai encouraged him, performing the 'encouragement pose' by giving him a thumbs-up.
"...and I like... uh... training?" finished Neji with a shrug. "And I don't like... the Main Family. My goal is... to become... stronger..." Neji sat down, a bit flustered at being forced to speak when he didn't want to.
"Susake! Your turn!" announced Gai. Sasuke gave him a piercing look, but refused to speak. Gai looked at him, a frown across his face. "Go on! What's wrong?"
"...I won't answer until my name is called." came the rather blunt answer. Gai looked at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Shino gave a small, delicate cough, which was obviously fake.
"Last I checked, his name was Uchiha Sasuke," Neji clarified helpfully. If Gai was planning to torture them for a week, he might as well humiliate him as much as he can... although Gai regularly tortures him on a daily basis.
"Yes, yes, of course!" said Gai, not missing a beat, but missing many, "I was just joking with you! So, go ahead, Su... Sake... Sake... Susa... what... was it again?" Gai flashed them a nervous brilliant smile at his temporary students' expressions which now looked like this: -- . "Well, go on Uchiha!" The Uchiha genius stood grudgingly up and he mumbled something along the lines of, "Sasuke, my name is Sasuke!"
"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like a lot of things and... There isn't anything I really like. My goal is to kill a certain man. Happy now?" he spat. Gai didn't seem like that he was very happy.
"But... Uchiha! You didn't elaborate!" Gai exclaimed. This activity wasn't going as well as he had hoped. Sasuke eyed him defiantly.
"You never said I had to." And with that, Sasuke reclaimed his seat. Shino stood up, not really in the mood for wasting anymore time.
"I'm Aburame Shino; I like bugs, I don't like bug spray and I wish to one day be on the ANBU squad." Gai beamed joyfully, large masculine tears materializing in his eyes. Yes, YES, Shino! That was the way to do it! You may be saved yet!
"That was a most WONDERFUL introduction!" he congratulated, "you two should be more like him!" he gestured to Sasuke and Neji, "Well done!"
"And Now, I shall take a few seconds to introduce myself! My name is Maito Gai! I am old enough to carry the wisdom of the world, yet I am young enough to be gifted handsomely by the flames of youth! My main goal in life is to completely surpass my arch rival, but I also wish to assist misguided youths on their road of life!" he announced, as he way of an introduction, flashing his overrated 'good guy pose'. The three visibly cringed. "Now that we got that settled, I guess its time for some training and missions!" Gai turned to his left and signaled for his team to follow him. "Let's go! We have a beautiful day ahead of us!"
"..."
"..."
"... and he called that a few seconds..." murmured Neji. Sasuke and Shino slowly nodded in agreement.
"...Neji, don't attempt at humor. It scares me," remarked Shino.
"..."
"...speak for yourself..."
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"Yo." Three boys and one dog, spun around at the greeting, three of them in surprise, and one of them in anger.
"YOU'RE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!" shrieked Naruto, Kiba and Lee, their voices melding together and resonating off the walls of the entire village of Konoha.
"WOOF!" agreed Akamaru, more quietly then he would of like, due to his recent stomach pains.
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The everyday townspeople looked around in alarm, some dropping groceries while mothers pulled their children protectively towards them and other men, brandishing sticks around. They soon calmed down and shrugged to each other.
"It's probably just an angry girlfriend bitching at their date," reasoned a villager with grey brown hair to his companion.
"Really?" the other man responded, a hint of challenge in his voice, "Then why were there three MALE voices?"
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"I got lost on the road of life!" exclaimed Kakashi cheerfully, holding up a hand in salute.
"LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Kiba, shaking his fist at the Jounin.
"STOP LYING WITH A STRAIGHT FACE!!!!!!" added Naruto. The two loudest ninjas in Konoha looked to their creepy-eyebrowed teammate, as if expecting him to back them up. The miniature Gai cleared his throat importantly as he stepped up, his eyebrows knitting together in a frown.
"Kakashi-sensei," he began, "what does the road of life look like?" Naruto and Kiba's heads plummeted down, burying themselves into the Earth as the rest of their bodies gave feeble twitches.
"Well," Kakashi thought carefully, a hidden twinkle in his eye, "it's made of concrete and there are second rate inns on either side!"
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Announcer: Oh ho ho ho! What missions and training does Gai have in store for them? Tune in and find out!
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A/N I hope I didn't disappoint you all too greatly this time, since this chapter was highly monotone, to me at least. I'll try to improve it, since I'm not really in the mood for writing right now.
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Frontier of Darkness