Healing
"Alex! Quit counting my stitches," Luka said as he lay for the second day in his new private room. It was good to be out of the ICU but still aggravating to be stuck in bed.
"I would if there weren't so many! I'm up to a hundred and three! So gross ... but so cool!"
"I'm glad I amuse you. Don't you have school?"
"I have an appointment to see the brain wizard, Dr. Dimonte at 10,"
"Alex, its five to ten,"
"I've got lots of time,"
Alex, go. I'll see you later and we'll play Rainbow Six but please ... don't tell your mother okay?"
"Sure dad, see ya later," Alex bolted out of the door. Luka smiled and shook his head.
"Dad," he said, as the good feeling consumed him. When Alex visited one day, he had asked Luka if it was okay to call him 'Dad'. Luka and Sam discussed it and decided it would be alright.
There was a knock on the door.
"May we come in?" It was Deb and with her, Greg Pratt.
"Hey, you're back from your trip! How was it?"
"Well deserved after the scare you gave me! Don't ever come into the ER like that again, you hear me?" Deb leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek and as all doctors did, picked up his chart and began reading.
"Hey man how's it going? Here're your movies. Carter asked me to bring them up," Greg handed him a stack of DVD's.
"Thanks. I'm bored out of my mind and when the pain kicks in these will be a good distraction," said Luka.
"So, I totally get these titles," Pratt said waving one stack on one hand, "but what's with this one? I don't see you as a chick flick kind of guy,"
"I'm watching this because I'm trying to figure out something Sam said to me a while ago,"
"Whatever, man. Do what you have to do to figure her out, if you know what I'm saying'" Greg motioned to Deb.
"I heard that," Deb replied. "Luka, you're getting the pins out tomorrow,"
"Yep. Pins out and cast on and my favorite ... rehab!"
"The quicker you get moving the faster you'll recover. You know that," said Greg.
"Yeah. But it's so bad, you know. I'm just wondering if I'll even be able to stand on it in the next few months,"
"You know what Luka? It'll be rough, but knowing you, you'll be walking sooner than you think," said Deb.
"Deb, my leg was crushed ..."
"Boo hoo, Luka. Worse has happened right?" she retaliated.
"Yes ma'am,"
"See what I have to put up with?"
"So you're ... together again?" Luka asked, smiling. The two glanced at each other, smiled and nodded.
"When we saw what happened with you and Sam and Alex, it ah ... it's made a lot of people think ... you know ... life's too unpredictable and short. We just want to be together, so ... why waste time on stupid stuff," she said.
"It certainly changed me," Luka said. "Umm ... Deb, would you be able to help me with something ... say, in time for next June?"
"Next June?"
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Luka's room in the early morning.
It was 4:30 am. The day before, Luka had the pins removed from his leg and a cast put on. He tried to sleep but in spite of the pain medication and his extreme exhaustion, he could not. "If we could even imagine our patients pain and appreciate all that they go through, we would be great doctors – knowledgeable, appreciative. We would not be arrogant but skilled and most of all ... kind," Luka thought of his professor's words again and appreciated their new meaning. The pain made tears well up in his eyes. Suddenly, he was startled by a gentle hand wiping a tear on his cheek. It was his angel, Sam.
"Hey, blue eyes, I thought you were asleep," she whispered and kissed him on the cheek.
"Can't," he managed to say.
"Pain's bad?" she asked.
"Incredible, even with meds," he said.
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this,"
"Don't be. Done more good for me than bad,"
"What? How on earth could this be good for you?"
"I'm struggling but I've realized so much," he said, grimacing a bit. "I know now just how many friends I have; how lucky I am to be alive yet again, be given another chance ... and ... oh ... uh ... to have ... you and Alex ... ahhh!"
Sam took his hand firmly. She looked at how courageously he bore his pain and thought of how long he bore the pain in his heart all these years. He was so up front with his feelings since the accident, she hoped they never had to go through that kind of hurt again.
"Listen, I'm on for another three hours, and its quiet downstairs. They'll page me if I'm needed. I'm going to stay with you and I want you to try and relax and get some sleep. The meds will eventually kick in," She stroked his thick dark hair and smiled at him reassuringly as he shut his beautiful eyes. She was certainly attracted to his stunning features but Luka grabbed you with his soul and pulled you in. She was glad she allowed herself to let go of her hang ups and fears and be absorbed by his love.
"Oh, how was Alex's appointment?"
"The Doctor said he's healing well,"
"And the Cat scan?"
"Negative. No bleeding, no fluid, no swelling,"
"Good. Oh, what about his neuro test?"
"All fine. Now stop worrying about Alex and get some sleep," she said.
"Sam," Luka whispered, his eyes still closed, "I watched Jerry McGuire,"
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Later that week when Sam went to visit him, she found Luka, tired and edgy.
"Hey, how's the patient?" asked Sam cheerily coming into the room with a tray. Luka did not respond. "I'm going to remove the stitches on your forehead," she said.
"Can't the nurses here do that?"
"Well I'm on break and I wanted to spend some time with you," she said cheerfully in spite of his mood. "Looking good here. Barely a scar," Looking down, she saw Luka gripping the sheets with his fist. His knuckles were white. Sam knew that she wasn't hurting him and then she remembered. Luka had his first day of therapy that morning.
"How did physical therapy go today?" she asked
"Please, I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"Well, maybe I could come with you the next time ..."
"No!" he snapped, cutting her off. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry. It's just that I'm trying to get my body to work again and it's not easy,"
"Maybe I can help you?" she asked
"You can't. Not with PT. I want to do that alone, okay?" Sensing he hurt her feelings he tried to sound more cheerful and changed the subject. "Let's not talk about me. I want to talk about something else. Tell me about you and Alex,"
Sam obliged and saw that he tried to focus on what she was saying through the pain. By the time her break was over, the nurse came in and administered Luka his painkillers and he began to feel drowsy. Sam was glad he was going to have a few hours where he could escape the pain and have some much needed rest.
Back in the ER, she spoke to Carter, Susan and Abby about Luka's mindset when she was with him. Carter explained that he felt the same way when he went through rehab and told her that the first day was the toughest. He assured her that it was normal and even a bit male. He also told her that Luka had the foresight to ask him for support during physical therapy which Carter wished he had done himself. Sam was feeling better after their chat and she and Carter went on to work on an incoming MVA.
"Did John tell you what Luka's planning?" Abby asked Susan.
"I heard from Deb that he's planning a wedding ... next June" said Susan.
"Well that does it then. We're both on break and by the looks of it Deb's got some time before starting her shift so I think this is the prefect time for some girl talk," said Abby.
"Yeah, but Sam can't hear a word of it, so we have to be very careful," warned Susan.
The weeks wore on and Luka was becoming more mobile. The first two weeks were rough. He had no muscle strength, no energy. He had lost quite a bit of weight after the accident but as he continued therapy he felt like he was getting back to his old self. In fact in some ways he felt that he was going to be in better shape than he was before.
Nine weeks after Steve had run him over; Luka was able to go home. Sam had shifts that worked around his therapy and she was very often able to drive him to the hospital and Carter, Greg or Chen would take him home. Being home was refreshing though it was often difficult for him to get around. One day Alex came home and found Luka on the kitchen floor trying to get a pot to make what was supposed to be lunch. Luka tried to get the pot at 12:30 and Alex came home at 3:00.
"So did you just lay there?" asked Sam.
"Yeah," replied Luka.
"Why didn't you call?"
"Because I could not get out of the position I found myself in to get to the phone. I just stayed there and I slept,"
After that incident, Alex bought a little pouch so that Luka could carry around the portable phone and they also made sure he had his cell phone clipped onto his waistband, just in case the phone was out of reach again. Another time Sam found him swearing in Croatian trying to reach an itch on his leg. The chopstick he tried to use broke and he couldn't find anything long enough to get to it. Alex came to the rescue by cutting one of his Hot Wheels tracks in half and taping the sharp end.
As he slowly recovered, Luka and Alex became closer. Luka checked his homework, played video games with him, taught him Croatian while Alex fixed Luka's English from time to time. They had a very interesting way of doing the laundry and playing basketball at the same time and they played football in the living room and hockey with Luka's crutches, watched movies and very often Sam would come home and they would be asleep in front of the TV. On nights like those, Sam would feel grateful that Alex finally had the right father figure in his life.