Chapter 19 – Confessions
Lady Lilah dropped Buffy at her dorm the next morning. Buffy hugged her before getting out of the car, and she could tell Lilah was about to cry.
"Don't worry grandmother, I'll be okay."
"You're my strong girl Buffy." Lilah smiled back through her tears.
Buffy went up to her room to grab her books before heading to class. She was thankful that Willow was already gone, so she wouldn't have to do any explaining, yet. Buffy glanced over to the dry ink board the girls had put on the door, where they left each other's phone messages. On Buffy's side there were several. Two from Angel, one from Darla and five from Spike. Next to Spike's name was a big purple question mark. Yeah, Willow was going to have some questions.
Buffy managed to get through the day without bumping into anybody she knew. It was very hard for her to concentrate in her classes. Her mind kept going back to what had happened, and sitting for so long started to affect her sore bottom. The pain relievers the doctor had given her weren't doing their job.
When it was time for English Lit, she was purposely late so she wouldn't have to sit with Willow and Anya. She sat down in the very back of the lecture hall, and slumped down in her seat so she wouldn't be noticed. She saw Willow and Anya sitting together further down, and saw the back of Spike's head in the front row. When he got up midway through class to make an announcement about the T.A. group, she could tell he was looking for her. She looked down at her books, so they wouldn't make eye contact. She had no idea if he spotted her not.
He did. He was relieved she had come. He thought for sure she would be holed up somewhere. 'She must be o.k.' he assured himself. But how could she be after what Angel did to her? He tried calling her at her dorm room and even came by to see her. But she wasn't there and her roommate didn't seem to know where she was, and he doubted if she knew what happened. Spike knew he wouldn't be able to get out of the room fast enough to corner Buffy after the lecture. He just hoped she would call him back later today. He had left enough messages.
Buffy high-tailed it out of the room after class was over. She was ready to talk to Willow and Anya, but she couldn't deal with Spike. She went back to the dorm and waited for the girls. They arrived shortly after she did.
"Buffy!" Anya and Willow exclaimed in unison.
"Hey guys." Buffy gave the girls a small smile. She was feeling nervous again about confessing to them.
"Buffy, are you okay? Your grandmother called and said you went home because you were sick." Willow asked worriedly.
"Well, something happened Saturday night that I need to tell you guys about." Buffy sighed. "Why don't you guys have a seat? I'll tell you what's been going on, but first you have to promise not to tell anyone."
The girls nodded. "Of course Buffy, what's said in this room, stays in this room." Anya stated solemnly.
"Well something bad happened at the party Saturday night."
"What?" Willow asked anxiously.
"Okay, well I don't want to get into all the details, but Angel, well he assaulted me."
Anya and Willow gasped. "What do you mean, assaulted?" Anya asked. "He hurt you?"
"Yes, he hurt me." Buffy couldn't bring herself to say exactly what he did. She could see from the dark look on Willows face that she understood exactly what went on.
"So what does Spike have to do with this?" Willow asked. "He was calling here nonstop, and he was a mess when he came buy. He really scared me, demanding to know if you were coming back. I didn't know what was going on, so lied and said I didn't know where you were."
"Spike found me, afterwards. He tried to help me." Buffy explained.
"What do you mean 'tried'?" Anya asked. "Why couldn't he help you?"
"It's complicated."
"Buffy, did you go to the hospital, did you see the police?" Willow asked.
"I saw a doctor, but no, the police weren't involved."
"Buffy, you can't let Angel get away with this. You have to report him!" Willow was livid, thinking about Angel getting away with hurting Buffy.
"His family has a lot of clout, my grandmother tried talking to his father, but they ended up threatening her and me. They wouldn't dare let anyone tarnish Angel's reputation." Buffy said bitterly.
It finally dawned on Anya exactly what happened. "Buffy, when you say Angel 'hurt' you, you meant he actually raped you? Oh my god! What, how could this happen?" She couldn't believe something like this had happened to one of her friends. Anya started to cry. She ran over and hugged Buffy. "Oh god, Buffy, I'm so sorry."
Anya's tears brought back Buffy's tears. But all Willow felt was anger. She now understood what she saw in Spike's face when he came here looking for Buffy. The anger, the need for revenge. The thought that Angel could do something like this and just get away with it!
Buffy looked up at Willow. "Willow, it's okay, don't look like that. I'm going to be okay. I just need to stay away from Angel and I'll be okay. So if he calls here, just say I'm not here. 'kay?"
"Sure Buffy, whatever will make this easier for you." Willow assured her.
The girls got themselves cleaned up and went to the dining hall for dinner. On their way back they stopped for ice cream. They all needed the sugar to keep them up tonight since none of them had got any studying done over the weekend. Anya and Willow filled Buffy in on their weekend. Buffy was glad to see that Willow didn't seem as jealous of Anya and Xander and seemed to be really hitting it off with Oz.
When they returned to the dorm room, Angel was waiting in front of Buffy and Willow's door. Anya and Willow didn't react at first, having never actually seen before. But when they kept moving toward the door and looked back and saw Buffy frozen in place, they understood. Willow was the first to speak.
"Angel, you should be here. Please leave." She said in a shaky voice.
Anya chimed in behind her. "Yes Angel, you are not welcome here."
Angel tried to give them his most charming smile. "I'm just here to see my girl."
"I'm not your girl." Buffy stated coolly as she snapped out of her frozen state.
Angel looked toward Buffy. "Buffy, sweetie. We need to talk. Why don't we take a walk?" Angel walked toward her, moving to take her hand. Buffy shook him off.
"Angel, go home." She moved to get past him, but he grabbed her wrist.
"Buffy, I just want to talk." Angel stated in a low, demanding voice.
Buffy tried to twist away, but Angel's grip was firm. Willow and Anya were really frightened now. Anya ran into the room to grab the phone, but just as she started to dial, Spike came around the corner. He immediately spotted Angel pulling Buffy toward him.
"You fucker!" he yelled, "I told you to stay away from her!" Spike lunged at Angel, punching him in the gut. Angel doubled over in pain.
"Damn it Spike, this is between me and Buffy." Angel growled and he swung at Spike. Spike quickly sidestepped him.
"I believe the lady asked you to leave," Spike glared at Angel. "And now I'm asking. Don't make me ask again."
Angel sized up the situation, looked at Spike, and then behind him to Anya, who had a phone in her hand. "Fine." He looked over to Buffy, who was now pressed with her back against the wall. "Buffy, we will talk later." With one last glare at Spike, he walked away.
"Oh my god, Buffy!" Willow rushed over to Buffy and hugged her. Buffy was shaking like a leaf.
Anya looked at Spike. "Should I call the campus police?" she asked.
"No!" Buffy pulled away from Willow. "No cops. Nobody can know about this." She turned to Spike. "That goes for you too."
"Are you gaft? He is not going to leave you alone. Did Lady Lilah ever call the police?"
That took Buffy by surprise. "How do you know my grandmother?"
"I was there when she arrived Saturday night at Darla's." Spike explained.
"Oh, I didn't realize you were there. The last time I remember seeing you was when we were going toward your car."
"Yes, and then Wesley and Darla showed up, and you fainted. They wanted to take you, but I didn't trust them to see after you properly. But they refused to let me take you to the hospital. So I went with them. But they wouldn't let me see you after they took you upstairs. So I went to see Angel."
"You what!"
"I went and set Angel straight. Obviously he didn't get the message." Spike glanced in the direction Angel had just left in.
Buffy blanched in fear. Spike had to leave Angel alone. She knew Holland was serious with his threats, and if this got back to him…"Spike, this is none of your business. Thank you very much for helping me, but please, stay out of this." Buffy looked him in the eyes, hoping he would understand. She couldn't have his provoking Angel bring down Holland Angelus' wrath on her family.
"Buffy, I was just trying to help you."
"Spike, I know. But it's been taken care of. Everything's fine now." Buffy gave him a strained smile.
Spike looked over at Willow and Anya, trying to gage their involvement in Buffy's obvious lies to him. They seemed puzzled, but it was obvious that they were supporting her. "Fine Buffy, I will stay away from Angel. I just wanted to know you were okay, luv." He reached out to touch her arm, but she flinched.
Spike looked so hurt. She didn't mean to flinch when he touched her; she was just still on edge from Angel. "Spike, I'm sorry. Thanks for coming by, but I have to study and stuff." She stared at the floor, hoping he would just leave.
"Okay, but Buffy, if there is a problem, I want you to call me, okay?" Spike asked in a soft voice. His heart was aching for her. He just wanted to help her, but it was clear she just wanted him to go away.
"Okay." Buffy went into her room, Willow and Anya following behind her. Spike just stared after them as they shut the door. He didn't feel right about this. Obviously Angel was not going to leave Buffy alone, tonight proved that. And obviously those pricks over at Darla's house had convinced her not to press charges. There was nothing he could do about that, but he was going to make sure Angel didn't get near her again.