Chapter 20 - Managing
The rest of the week went by smoothly. Buffy attended all her classes and studied in the evenings. She had gotten very behind on her work, and there was a lot more of it in college than high school. The adjustment was hard for her. At least Angel didn't bother her – no phone calls, no visits. Darla sent Buffy an apology letter, explaining she was sorry for her brothers actions and hoping they could still be friends. Buffy still harbored anger toward Darla for helping cover up what Angel did, but Buffy remembered Holland Angelus' threats toward her and her family and thought it would be best to make peace with Darla. She met Fred and Darla for dinner on Wednesday evening at a restaurant in town. It was clear from the initial conversation that Fred had no idea what had happened.
"So Buffy, are you and Angel coming to Harmony Kendall's party this Friday?" Fred asked.
"Fred sweetie, I thought I told you Angel and Buffy were no longer seeing each other." Darla interjected before Buffy could answer. Buffy was relieved not to have to explain. But Fred kept going.
"Oh, no, you didn't! Buffy, what happened? Angel liked you so much!"
"Uh, it just didn't work out." Buffy mumbled and shoveled some food in her mouth so she wouldn't have to continue the conversation.
Darla decided to steer the discussion somewhere else. "So Fred, how are you and Wesley doing?"
This caused Fred to tense. "Darla, Wesley and I are just friends."
"Well dear, you know he wants more. He hangs around you like a puppy dog. And he's always at the house. And these days you rarely are." Darla had the look of a cat backing a mouse into a corner as she needled Fred.
"Oh, you know me. I'm always studying at the library." Fred laughed nervously, avoiding Darla's eyes.
Buffy could see there was something Fred didn't want Darla to know, so now it was her turn to steer the conversation to help someone out.
"So Fred, you're a physics major, right? That sounds so hard. I'll definitely have to get you to help me with my math homework."
"Oh sure Buffy, anytime." Fred started to ramble on about some new physics theory while Darla and Buffy pretended to know what she was talking about.
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On Monday and Wednesday Buffy had been able to get through English Lit okay. She sat with Anya and Willow near the back of the class and luckily, Professor Snyder had lectured solidly the whole hour, leaving no room for interaction with Spike. She was too wigged about the confrontation at her dorm with him and Angel to deal with seeing Spike. But Thursday evening was the first group discussions with the Teach Assistants, and Buffy would have to finally face Spike. For some reason, the thought of seeing him made her so nervous that she could barely eat dinner that night.
"Buffy, why aren't' you eating?" Willow asked. "You've barely touched anything on your plate."
"It's because she's nervous about seeing Spike!" Anya teased.
"I am not!" Buffy exclaimed, thinking 'how'd she know?' Buffy looked over at Anya, "It's just weird, after the other night."
"It's weird because he obviously ha a thing for you." Anya snickered.
"Anya, he was just helping her." Willow patted Buffy on the arm. "It will be okay, just act like nothing happened and you're a regular student and he's your friendly neighborhood T.A."
"Her gorgeous, studly, rescue a damsel in distress T.A."
"Anya!" Buffy exclaimed. How Xander ever put up with this girl was beyond her. Anya just said what ever she thought at the moment.
----
Only a few students had arrived when the girls entered the classroom.. It was a very small room with only about 20 desks, which were set up in a U shape, facing the teacher's desk. The girls grabbed three seats together near one end of the U. Students trickled in, filling all the seats before Spike arrived. When he finally did arrive, five minutes late, he came in wearing his black duster, blue jeans, black t-shirt, and combat boots. His standard 'uniform'. But one thing was different. He was wearing glasses. Wire glasses that he kept shoving up his nose. It made him look oddly academic.
Spike went over to the teacher's desk in the front and set down the books he was carrying. He shrugged off the duster and tossed it over the chair. He picked up his notebook and turned to the class.
"So, has anyone actually done the assigned reading?" he said with a smirk.
A few hands, including Willows shot up. Both Buffy and Anya had purchased the Cliff Notes from the bookstore.
"Well, let me assure you, it is required, and you will not be able to pass Professor Snyder's class using Cliff Notes." The last part he said with obvious disdain. "First, before we start, let me take roll. This will be done every week. You may skip lecture, but not the discussion groups. Missing a group without a note from the dean will result in immediate failure of the class. When I call your name, please raise your hand."
Spike proceeded to call the roll. When he called Buffy's name, she raised her hand, but didn't raise her eyes to him. He paused for a second, seemingly waiting, and went on. Willow and Anya watched Buffy shift uncomfortably in her seat, but still she didn't look up. They were shocked. They knew she was nervous, but Spike was the T.A., and you couldn't avoid looking at him.
"Well for those of you who have not even bothered with the Cliff Notes, let me remind you that the first book of the semester is Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. And yes there is the BBC movie, and yes, there is Bridge Jones' Diary, but neither will suffice for reading the book. You should have read up to page 125. Has anyone already finished the book?"
Only Willow raised her hand.
"Willow, you finished the book?" Spike asked, surprised.
"Well, I've read it before sir."
"Please, we will not be so formal here. Call me Spike. So are you re-reading it now, or will you rely on memory?"
"I'm re-reading it."
"Excellent Willow. So why don't you start us off this evening. Why do you think that Elizabeth is never jealous of her sister Jane, despite Jan being their mother's obvious favorite?"
So, the discussion began, with Willow voicing her opinion, others raising their hands to contribute, and Spike calling out questions, selecting people to answer when no one volunteered. Buffy never raised her hand, and Spike never called on Buffy. In fact, Buffy never even looked up, she just doodled on her notebook the entire class. Willow was shocked at how she was acting, and tried to give her a nudge to get her to at least look like she was paying attention. But Buffy just continued to doodle.
"All right, I think you guys are really getting to understand the underlying meanings in the story. You should be finished with the book next week and will wrap up the discussion then. Have a good night." Spike started to gather his things while the class exited. Buffy had already gathered her things and was on her way out the door, way ahead of Anya and Willow.
"Ms. Summers, can I see you for a moment." Spike called out to her. Buffy froze and turned around. Willow mouthed to her – "We'll be outside."
Spike had his back to Buffy and didn't run around until the room was empty. When he did turn, Buffy was staring at the floor.
"Buffy, I can see this is very uncomfortable for you." Spike looked at her, waiting for a response, but Buffy said nothing, still looking at the floor, and nervously chewing her lip.
"Buffy, I feel uncomfortable too. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act around you." Again, he waited for a response. Buffy was still looking at the floor. He noticed water at her feat and wondered how it got there, but was to upset about her lack of a response to ponder further.
"Blood hell woman, I feel like I'm talking to a wall! Can you at lease look at me?" Spike practically shouted.
This caused Buffy to jump, and she looked up at Spike with a tear stained face. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I don't know what you want from me and I am having a really hard time dealing." She looked down at the floor again.
"Buffy, luv, I'm sorry I shouted at you. I just want to help you." Spike reached out to hug her, but she shook him off. "Okay, Buffy, I can see you really don't want my help. I'm going to back off, okay?"
"Fine." Buffy wiped her tears and turned around. She really didn't want this, but felt she had no other choice.
"I'll just pretend the whole thing never happened." He muttered to himself. She heard and turned around and stared at him. He met here gaze. Buffy was uncomfortable with the intensity of the look and his eyes, but she couldn't look away. Something about him made her feel so strange, but she couldn't put her finger on it.
Finally, Spike spoke. "Are you going to be okay in this class Buffy? Do you want me to switch you to one of Clem's?"
"No, I'll be fine."
"Right then. Well do the reading, okay? I'm sure your friend Red can help you out."
"How do you know I didn't do the reading?" Buffy asked, miffed.
"Are you denying it?" Spike smirked.
"Fine, I'll see you next week Spike." Buffy went out into the hall where Anya and Willow were waiting for her.
"So what happened?" Anya asked, dieing of curiosity.
"Nothing, let's get going. I need to actually read this book, and so do you Anya." Buffy replied, brushing off her question.
Willow and Anya just looked at each other and followed behind Buffy. When they reached the end of the hall, Willow glanced over her shoulder as they turned the corner and saw Spike was standing outside the classroom door, staring after them.