Seek and Go Hide
part fourteen
Jack stood staring at the buzzer. This didn't make sense. Once again he pressed the button; this time he held it down for a few seconds. Once again there was no response. Puzzled, he shoved his hands in his coat pockets and turned to look at the street. The rain that had been falling all day had finally let up but it was still bitterly cold. Jack stomped his feet to keep warm and looked up and down the street. He glanced at his watch - 7:49pm. He'd been late, yes, but not terribly so. A car drove by and Jack watched it expectantly but it didn't stop. He looked back at the buzzer, then at the street, and then at his watch again. He crossed his arms and bit his lip and stared up at the sky. After a minute he shook his head and pulled out his cell phone. First he called Doug's home number and as expected, got the machine. He didn't bother to leave a message. Next he called Doug's cell phone. It immediately went to voicemail, which meant the phone was turned off. Again Jack hung up without leaving a message. He had gotten a voicemail from Doug the day before that confirmed their plans so Jack was sure Doug wasn't standing him up. Pretty sure anyway.
As he stood shivering in front of Doug's building, Jack thought back to the "date/not a date" confusion earlier in the week. He'd been upset by Pacey's announcement but after some thought Jack realized he didn't really care what he or anyone called it. What mattered was that he and Doug were going to spend time together. Alone. No Greg, no Pacey, no work talk. To Jack that sounded like a date, but if Doug was freaked out by the term date, so be it, it wasn't a date. What was important was that it was happening.
Only now it wasn't. He looked at his watch again - 8:06pm. Am I going to stand here freezing my ass off all night? wondered Jack. He figured he should leave, go home and wait for Doug to call and explain. But still he stood there. Softly the rain began to fall once more.
Jack became mesmerized by the quiet, the rain, the streetlights. Occasionally a car would coast by and Jack would anxiously watch it. But they never stopped. Minutes ticked by. What at first looked like a large cat but turned out to be a raccoon scampered across the street and into a bush. I'm the only one who doesn't have sense enough to come in out of the rain, thought Jack with a wry smile.
Eventually a car turned down the street and headed toward Jack. He squinted in the glare of the headlights and was surprised when, instead of driving by, the car pulled up to the curb and parked. Jack, hidden for the moment by shadow and darkness, watched Doug climb out of the car. Even at this distance, Jack could tell he was weary and soaking wet. Jack stepped out into the light and said lightly, "Enjoying the indulgent glory of making me wait around?"
"Jack?" Doug thought he was too tired to be surprised and yet the sight of Jack standing in front of him took him aback.
Up close, Jack could see that on top of everything else, Doug was splattered with mud and had a bandage on his left hand. "What in the world happened to you?"
"I'm sorry. I'm late. I should have called. It's Saturday. I'm so sorry..." Doug looked and sounded so worn out and befuddled that Jack's heart immediately went out to him.
"Don't worry about that! What happened?"
"An old storm drain collapsed under Route 6 at the edge of town. It created a sinkhole. It was pretty bad. A car got pulled down. I was the first one at the scene...a family..." Doug's eyes glazed over at the memory.
"Jesus! Was everyone ok?"
"Yeah, just minor injuries but it was intense. I had to smash out a window to pull an eight-month-old baby out of the back seat. That's how I did this..." Doug held up his bandaged hand.
"Wow," was all Jack could say.
"Yeah. You know what? I'm beat. I'm not really up to going out but..."
"Right. Sure, I'll get out of your way..."
"No, what I was going to say is - if you can hang out while I take a shower and get cleaned up we could go grab a bite over at the Ice House. If you want..."
"I'd like that."
"Great." Doug smiled warmly at Jack and joked, "So you wanna wait down here then?"
"Uhm, no. I've had enough of your front stoop tonight."
"Well, come on then," said Doug. He unlocked the door and walked inside gesturing for Jack to follow.
Once they got upstairs, Doug told Jack to make himself comfortable and headed immediately for the shower. Humming softly to himself, Jack poked around the kitchen and decided to make some coffee. He figured Doug could probably use a cup or two and it would be just the thing to warm himself up after his forty-five minutes of standing in the rain.
He found the coffee beans and threw some in the grinder. As soon as the machine stopped whirring, he heard Doug call out, "Jack? Hey Jack?"
"Yeah Doug? I'm just making some coffee..." Jack walked over to the bathroom door so he wouldn't have to shout. The door was just barely open and steamed poured out.
"That sounds great. Hey, could you grab me the shampoo in the linen closet? It should be on the third shelf, next to the washcloths and behind the fabric softener."
"Sure thing, hang on," Jack opened the closet door and sure enough, there was the shampoo right where Doug said it would be. "Here you go," he said to the crack in the bathroom door.
Doug's strong, wet arm reached out and took the bottle from Jack. "Thanks a lot," said Doug as he quickly shut the door. Jack smiled at Doug's modesty and for a brief moment allowed himself to contemplate the image of Doug in the shower. Rippling muscles, damp hair, smooth skin - it was a little too much for Jack so he forced himself to return to the kitchen and the coffee.
Soon the water was boiling. Jack let it cool a bit, poured it into the press pot and let it steep. As he sat at the kitchen table flipping though the paper, he remembered he hadn't shut the linen closet and so went to do that. Jack knew that snooping wasn't really all that cool, but he couldn't help it. He took a look around. It was pretty typical stuff - towels, extra toilet paper, laundry stuff, blankets, a few mystery boxes. But there, on the bottom shelf, was something rather unexpected. Jack pulled it out and took it into the living room. He set it on the couch and went back to the kitchen to finish up the coffee.
When Doug came out he was wearing khakis and a faded blue t-shirt. His hair was damp and he looked considerably less exhausted than he had twenty minutes ago. Jack handed him a cup of coffee, which Doug gratefully accepted. "Hmmm, thanks. This is just what I needed." He smiled at Jack, "Hope I didn't take too long." He inhaled the steam and took a drink, "Good coffee."
Jack noticed the fresh bandage on Doug's hand as well as a number of butterfly bandages that ran up the inside of his left arm. "So, you wanna tell me what happened?"
"Ah, there's not much to tell," maintained Doug as he sat down at the kitchen table. When he saw Jack's half stunned, half annoyed face he laughed, "Ok, ok, maybe there's a little to tell."
"I'm all ears," said Jack as he sat down. He sipped his coffee and waited.
"Well, I was out on patrol and it was getting close to quitting time and I got a call that said a car was stuck out on Route 6 and needed assistance;"
"Our car's stuck in the road."
"I figured ditch or something. I didn't expect to find a car jackknifed in the middle of the road. It was in a sinkhole. And it was getting larger by the second. The car...well it was sliding deeper and deeper down. The driver appeared to be unconscious and there were two kids in the car. The older kid had been the one to call 911. She's only six. Her name is Peggy."
"Peggy."
"Peggy do you know where you are?"
"We're going home from Grandma's. She made spice cake!"
"Where's your dad sweetie?"
"He's here but he's sleeping."
"Alright, you sit tight. We've locked in on your gps phone signal so someone will be out there real soon. You stay in the car ok? And stay on the phone with me."
"Ok. How come do ya think the radio stopped working?"
"As soon as I got there, I called for back up and an ambulance. I wanted to get down to the car but knew I had to set out some flares to make sure no one else drove into this mess. Fortunately that road was pretty deserted. Thank god it wasn't Regatta season or the traffic would have been a nightmare! I hastily set the flares and climbed down to the car...the hole was probably close to twelve feet deep at that point and it was still...sinking. The pavement kept collapsing as the hole widened. I got the seven year old out of the car; she wasn't scared at all. Her father, he'd banged his head on the steering wheel I guess and was groggy and disoriented, but he came around."
"Wha? What happened?"
"There's been an accident sir. I need to get you out of the car."
"My kids... are they ok?"
"They're fine. Look Peggy's right here."
"Daddy the car's in a big hole!"
Sir, I need you to take your daughter and get up to the road. Can you do that?"
"The baby...?"
"I'll take care of the baby, don't worry. Just get your daughter out of this hole. It's not stable."
"The baby was in the backseat, in a car seat, a rear facing car seat, which is right but made it hard to get to, and then the back doors wouldn't open, and the car was dead so I couldn't get the windows down. The baby was screaming by that point...which is much better than an unconscious baby but the screaming...it creates a sense of urgency you know? I broke the window out with a hunk of cement. But I wasn't paying enough attention and gouged my palm pretty good. And then as I was pulling the baby out, I cut the inside of my arm up on a piece of jagged glass. Luckily the ambulance had arrived and was working on the Dad by that point. Peggy and the baby weren't hurt. It was a miracle Jack, I looked back and the hole which had maybe been twelve feet across and maybe eight feet deep when I got there, well it had to be like thirty-five feet across and fifteen or sixteen feet deep. It was crazy. It just swallowed that car. And the road. The ambulance guys looked at my arm and patched me up. But I still had to organize roadblocks and detours. I called the County and Water Management, the mayor...it's such a mess."
"I'll be fine."
"That's your call sir. Could you sign this then?"
"I hung around for a while but there wasn't much for me to do after that. I talked to one of the water management guys and his guess was an old storm drain had collapsed. But they'll be investigating it for the next couple of days to be sure. I can't even guess how long it's going to take them to fix the road."
"Well, I guess that's a pretty good reason for being late to meet me," said Jack good-naturedly. He had listened to the story with a mixture of admiration and apprehension. He had interjected a few 'uh-huhs' and 'reallys' but mostly he had just listened. Even in a quiet town like Capeside, it was obvious Doug still had a pretty dangerous job. The thought of Doug getting hurt or possibly killed filled Jack with a sick slow dread.
"I am sorry Jack," repeated Doug earnestly. "There was so much going on and I didn't even think..."
"Don't apologize Doug!" Jack shook his head and smiled, "It's your job. And it can get intense. You can't know when something like this is going to happen. Believe me, I get that. So don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're ok. It couldn't have been safe scrambling around inside an volatile sinkhole."
"I wouldn't recommend it as a hobby that's for sure," said Doug as he thought back to the unsettling feeling of having the ground deteriorate beneath him with every step he took.
"So hero, you ready to go get something to eat?" asked Jack as he stood up and took the coffee cups into the kitchen. He rinsed them out and set them in the sink.
"Absolutely," answered Doug with a grin. "Let me just go finish getting dressed." He went back to his bedroom and pulled on a black sweater and some socks. Looking in the mirror, he chuckled at his somewhat scruffy appearance. He ran a comb through his hair and tucked in the t-shirt so it didn't hang out from under the sweater and grabbed a belt. He was just buckling it as he entered the living room where he found Jack sitting on the sofa.
"Hey Doug, what's this?" asked Jack as he gestured to the object next to him.
"That Jack, is commonly called a guitar."
"Is it yours?"
"No, I rent out storage in my linen closet for unused musical instruments. Haven't you seen my ads in the Penny Saver? Of course it's mine. Doing a little snooping were you?"
"Not snooping, merely observant. I saw it when I got the shampoo for you. You play?"
"No!" exclaimed Doug embarrassed. "Well, I mean, I play for me. It's just a hobby. I find it relaxing. But I don't harbor any American Idol dreams if that's what you mean. I...it's a hobby is all."
"I'd love to hear you play something," said Jack enamored by the idea. Doug was always surprising him.
"Well, that's not going to happen. I'm not good and I don't play for other people," insisted Doug indignantly. He grabbed the guitar and took it back to the closet.
"Come on Doug," cajoled Jack.
"No way Jack."
"Some other time? Maybe?" wheedled Jack persuasively.
"Unlikely," asserted Doug. He returned to the living room, "Aren't you hungry? Can't we go eat?" Doug really wanted to change the topic. He felt incredibly self-conscious and silly.
Jack laughed, "All right, all right. Let's go."
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When they arrived at the Ice House, they found that it was quite crowded. The hostess recognized Doug right away and told him it would be just a minute before a table was ready. While they were waiting, Bill Willis and Marie Shank came in. The four exchanged hellos and when the hostess apologetically told Bill it would probably be twenty-five minutes before she could find him a table, Doug said, "You're welcome to join Jack and I if you like."
The suggestion surprised Jack. He knew Doug liked Bill and Marie but he didn't think that they were particularly close. Maybe it's just professional courtesy, mulled Jack.
"Oh, we wouldn't want to intrude Sheriff," insisted Bill as he waved off the suggestion. Jack smiled to himself; he wanted to be alone with Doug so Bill's refusal was welcome news.
He frowned ever so slightly when he heard Doug say, "No intrusion Bill. Jack and I, we're just grabbing a bite to eat. You have met Jack McPhee before haven't you Bill?"
"Oh, sure. At the Safe Harbor kick-off. How's it going Mr. McPhee?" Bill looked uncomfortable but did his best to sound sociable and pleasant.
"Call me Jack, I think the only people who call me Mr. McPhee are students and telemarketers."
The group laughed at the small joke and Bill responded, "Uhh, ok. Jack. Good to see you again."
"So you'll join us then?" asked Doug. "Marie? What do you say?" Jack was growing increasingly annoyed with Doug for insisting that these people join them for dinner when they, or at least Bill, obviously didn't want to do that.
Marie looked imploringly at Bill, "Hon, I don't want to wait that long. It's already so late to be eating."
"It's 9:35," stated Bill obtusely.
Marie gave Bill an unmistakable look but all she said was, "Bill..."
The hostess returned and said, "Your table's ready guys."
Bill smiled a tight smile, the very picture of a man backed into a corner he'd tried to avoid. "We'd love to join you Sheriff. Thank you."
"Great," said Doug happily. He turned and followed the hostess to their table. Great, thought an irritated Jack as he brought up the rear of the group. Now it's definitely not a date. The grumpy thought made Jack realize that maybe that's what Doug had wanted all along.
Once they were all seated, it dawned on Doug that maybe Jack wasn't thrilled with this situation. He had been persistent because he thought if Bill and Marie got to know Jack, maybe then they'd realize that gay people weren't anything to be afraid of. Maybe they'd see that a gay person was just a person, the same as them. He tried to catch Jack's eye to see how he felt but Jack was intently chatting with Marie.
"So, how long have the two of you been dating?"
"Us? Goodness..." Marie paused for a moment and smiled at Bill, "Seven months and we're practically an old married couple! Of course we used to date back in high school, but that was ages ago and we're both totally different people now!"
"Not totally different," interrupted Bill, "You've still got the greenest eyes and prettiest smile I ever saw. And I still throw the best curve ball in Capeside."
Marie blushed and picked up her menu, "Well, I'm starving and apparently the lack of food has gone right to Bill's head so let's order shall we?"
"You ever seen a lady so bad at takin' a compliment?" laughed Bill. "One of these days I'm just gonna quit trying."
"Doug can't take a compliment either," said Jack with a fond grin. He saw the color immediately drain from Doug's face. Bill and Marie's exchanged puzzled looks. Jack continued smoothly, "Earlier, I was complimenting him on his quick thinking regarding the sinkhole situation. Not to mention the courage it must have taken to climb down into it to rescue that family."
"I was just doing my job Jack. No need for compliments," protested Doug as he busied himself with the menu.
"What sinkhole situation? Don't tell me I missed something big on my day off? Just my luck!" Bill could hardly contain himself. Doug was grateful for the change in conversation and went on to describe in detail the events of earlier that evening.
Dinner was pleasant enough. Pacey crawled out of the hectic kitchen long enough to say hello. He brought out four pieces of mocha cheesecake on the house, which were greeted with groans and protestations of being too full but ultimately were cheerfully and speedily eaten. As he headed back to the kitchen, Pacey shot Jack a look that quite clearly said, "What the hell are you doing with Bill and Marie?" Jack tried to ignore him but it was difficult since he was wondering the same thing. This was certainly not how he had imagined this evening would go.
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After they had said their good byes to Bill and Marie, Doug and Jack headed back to Doug's place. At first they walked in companionable silence but then Doug asked, "Jack, is this...was this a date?"
Jack snorted, "With Bill and Marie there? Uh, no it was not a date."
"But before, before that, did you think it was it a date then?" Doug looked at Jack with wide-eyed uncertainty.
"Why don't you tell me what you thought Doug?" Jack heard the hardness in his voice and regretted it but he was frustrated.
"I think...we were, we were just hanging out? Like friends do. Because we're friends. Right?"
Doug didn't know what he wanted Jack to say, but he didn't expect him to say, "Right. Buddy. Right pal."
"You're the one who said we were friends Jack. You said it." Doug's voice sounded anxious and a little frazzled.
"When?"
"New Year's Eve."
Jacked sighed, "You don't think some things have changed since then?"
"No. Yes. I mean, yes some things are different but...I don't know. Are the right things different? I mean...look, I'm bad at this."
"You don't have to tell me that."
"I just...did you want this to be a date?"
"Yes, but..." Jack's voice trailed off."But?" repeated Doug.
"But obviously you didn't."
"Well..."
"But I did yes. Which is why I asked you out. On a date."
"Oh," Doug fixed his eyes on Jack; he refused to let himself look away and said, "Maybe next time?" Doug felt nervous and excited and stupid.
Jack felt his heart skip a beat, "Next time?" It came out more sarcastic then he expected.
"There has to be a next time," Doug's eyes were soft and beseeching. A sudden gust of wind ruffled his hair. He realized he was holding his breath but he didn't take his eyes off Jack.
"All right. Maybe next time," relented Jack. Doug smiled and just like that, Jack knew it was going to be ok. Better than ok.
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You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
You can count on me to mess it up
You can count on me to let you down again
And in time you'll see that I'm your only friend
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
Comfort in community obliterated
Given opportunity I hesitated
Even my humility's humiliated
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
Next time, next time
When you die they make a list of every love you never kissed
Of each regret and each mistake
Every choice you'll fail to make
Oh well...
Oh well...
Oh well...
It's a shame I have to wait until the ending
Everything I've yet to break is surely bending
Every vow I ever take is just pretending
That this mess I make is worth defending
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
You can always get it right next time, next time
You can always get it right next time
-- Next Time
by The Barenaked Ladies